Sadly this was a DNF for me. I think it would be relatable to a younger audience but I think I’m growing out of my Young Adult reads. It’s hard to find a good one I like anymore. I just couldn’t get into this one. Thank you so much to Netgalley and the Publisher for a copy of the arc in return for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are solely my own.

what an excellent YA novel. this is my first ann liang and i’m glad to say she hasn’t been overhyped— i wish i’d had this book as a teenager. i’ve been both jessica and jenna throughout my entire life, and this had me feeling So Much.

I like to thank the publisher and NetGalley for allowing me an early read.

An Liang is one of my new favorite authors. I love how she can write anything and make it sound original, new, and fresh. She says in her forward that this book is for people who felt like they wanted to be someone else, or wanted to have everything. This book is certainly that.

Our main character studies hard, tries her best, and hopes to get into Harvard. To impress her parents who hope / wish the best for her and have Chinese focus/aspirations. It sucks that she is compared to her cousin, Jessica Chen. Beautiful, smart, rich Jessica Chen. It is at a family gathering at Jessica's house that you find out Jessica got into Harvard (earlier that day the FL did not) and it sets her off, makes her realize how much she believes herself to be a failure. It is also at this same gathering her childhood friend Aaron has returned from his year long medical school study. Our FL and he parted on not so great terms a year ago and he left without saying goodbye. This lack of securing a spot in Harvard makes her seem inadequate to his life and future.

So she makes a wish, and she wishes to be her cousin. She wakes up the next morning to find out she is now Jessica Chen and Jessica Chen is missing... as well her real body.

This is where I have a tough time with the book. There is so much emotional weight and focus about Jenna learning her new role as Jessica and how much she craves it and wants it. It also allows her to see that perhaps life as Jessica isn't as rosy as it seems and that Jessica was hiding stuff. And Aaron? What are his feelings for Jenna when the world almost sees him and Jessica as the perfect / end-game couple. Meanwhile, Jenna is vanishing from existence every day from the memories and literal space she once occupied in everyone's life.

Then, Jenna gets wrapped up in a mystery featuring the real Jessica and someone who "knows what she did".

There is a lot to unpack in the book, and while - don't get me wrong - it's a GOOD book it's just not the best that Ann has written (for me). The body swapping story, the emotional baggage and desire that comes with being someone else, the love story, and the mystery all felt kind of sloppy and didn't really feel like it flowed together with the story. Like they were just individual ideas that could or could not be in the story and didn't feel cohesive.

I think the strongest and the best part of the book was being someone else and the emotional hardship that comes with desire and getting what you want.

I knew this was gonna hit hard, but damn. This is painfully relatable in the best way.

We've all wished we were someone else. Someone prettier, smarter, popular, a person so much better than what they believed they were. Liang took that concept and really turned it on its head to show how that wish is never what it seems to be. Liang being able to take these concepts and ground them to reality, despite the huge fantasy elements, really is stellar. It's why I fell in love with her debut If You Could Give Me the Sun, and I'm so happy she returned to that after.

The romance plays a very small part, which I do very much like. Aaron did his part in helping Jenna realize she was beautiful the way she was, but he wasn't the sole reason. It's still kind of weird how only he remembered her after her disappearance but not her parents, but I think that's commentary on how they didn't really "see" her like he did. I dunno, that's just me speculating.

It's hard to talk about the book too much without giving it away, but what I will say that it's so worth reading. Not my favorite Liang book, but it's still one I'm very happy she wrote and will proudly display on my shelf once it officially releases this coming January.

I Am Not Jessica Chen was everything I expected from an Ann Liang novel. She expertly captured the feeling of "wanting" and how desperately sometimes we wish to be something more (or someone else!). The romance in this one came secondary, which worked well for the plot. I would have loved to better understand the relationship between the cousins — it seemed fairly surface level and we didn't really get to know Jessica as well as I would have liked.

Rating - 3.75 stars

Thank you to the publisher for providing me with an early copy of ‘I am not Jessica Chen’ by Ann Liang.

The constant fear of falling behind and never being enough is a familiar dread. Jenna Chen has always felt this especially when her cousin Jessica is always Perfect, a model student on her way to Harvard. In a moment of despair, Jenna wishes she could live her cousin’s life and unexpectedly finds that her wish comes true. It’s everything she dreamed of, and being admired by everyone is intoxicating. But soon, she discovers that no one remembers Jenna, and the longer she remains as Jessica, the more Jenna will cease to exist. Will she abandon her own self in her quest for perfection?

I related to Jenna’s desperation and the constant struggle to be great, especially when you’re constantly compared to your peers. The start was promising, but in the middle, I found the plot lacking momentum, and the climax felt too abrupt. Aaron and Jenna’s relationship was all talk and no show. I couldn’t truly invest in their connection. Overall, this wasn’t my favorite of Ann Liang’s works

Thank you so much NetGalley and the publishers for the e-arc!

In this book, we follow Jenna Chen and her struggles with always being good enough, but never the best in a school where being the best is what matters. Jessica Chen, her cousin, is always top of the class and her life seems to be everything Jenna Chen wants. One day, Jenna’s wish came true. She woke up in Jessica Chen’s body and now she gets to experience what she always wanted. Or is it really what she always wanted?

I was really expecting a 5 stars read with this one. The idea of the story overall had every ingredient to be an amazing book. However, the execution felt a little too underdeveloped. The beginning did keep me hooked but somewhere along the middle it started to get a bit repetitive. The pressure that comes from being “the best” was downplayed. Maybe this is because we do not get Jessica’s point of view but I would assume Jenna would feel even more stress than she did before being in Jessica’s life. It felt like Jenna did not really understand the hardships of being the top student, she just got the benefits that came with it.

Overall, this was a good book and I would still recommend it if you want to tip your toes into this topic of wanting to be someone else completely.

This book resonated with me deeply, I feel understood. I love Ann Liang's books so much for this very reason. She understands it. She comprehends. I believe she writes her books to show her readers they have company. As Ann mentioned in her author's note, sometimes the most comforting thing is knowing that others are going through the same thing.

This was an absolutely fascinating read. As a teacher of teenagers, I've seen firsthand how kids are focusing so much on being the "perfect" child in order to get what they think will bring them happiness and success. This exploration of our individuality and what we lose when we try to be someone else is dearly needed.

actual rating: 4.5. i hated this book. not because it was bad, but because i related to it too much. does Ann Liang have cameras in my room? how does she know that i yearn for validation from my peers without watching my every move? i felt so seen every time Jenna spoke about her fears and desires, i wanted to cry. it felt all too real to my own life. Ann Liang is my queen, and i am her humble servant. i owe her my life.

my heart. oh my heart. i’m so. this was a whole movie. a movie with the most beautiful message. with nuance. with scenes full of warmth and cold equally. and the most relatable sentences and poetry. how does ann liang do it every time? how does she write a book full of magic when it’s (mostly) not a fantasy story? how does she always write characters that are so deeply relatable, that understand you better than any other book ever could…

i always love me some character development and i always love when ann liang does it. her books always feel the most emotional, the most thought out, the most REAL. when you read her books, it’s like you’re addicted and keep wanting more and more. it’s like seeing life in all its different forms and struggles. this book man… the ending in particular was so beautiful. it was so perfect. ann liang is a perfect writer, seriously. i never say it about any writer but her? she’s my favorite. it feels like she truly *understands* what she’s writing about and honestly, i’d read anything she writes.

if you want a book full of real-life magic, of pain and happiness, of despairing and hoping, of hearth and obsession, this is the book for you. any of her books, honestly.

**Review of *I Am Not Jessica Chen***

*I Am Not Jessica Chen* is a captivating exploration of identity, self-worth, and the often painful quest for acceptance. Through Jenna Chen's eyes, readers are taken on a journey filled with longing, envy, and ultimately, self-discovery.

From the outset, Jenna’s feelings of inadequacy in the shadow of her seemingly perfect cousin, Jessica, are palpable. The sharp contrast between the two girls sets the stage for Jenna’s desperate wish to escape her own life. This desire for transformation resonates deeply, especially in a world where social media and societal expectations often amplify feelings of inadequacy. The author skillfully captures the pressure young people face in pursuit of perfection and recognition.

When Jenna's wish comes true, the narrative shifts into an intriguing exploration of what it really means to be "perfect." Living as Jessica at Havenwood Private Academy, Jenna quickly discovers that the glamorous life she yearned for is riddled with challenges and complexities she never anticipated. The novel delves into the darker sides of ambition and competition, showing that the facade of perfection often hides profound struggles.

As Jenna navigates her new reality, the theme of erasure becomes particularly poignant. The fact that people begin to forget Jenna's existence raises questions about identity and the sacrifices one makes in the pursuit of others’ approval. This aspect of the story is a powerful reminder that individuality is a treasure, even when it feels like it’s overshadowed by someone else’s brilliance.

The relationships Jenna builds—or loses—throughout the story add depth to her character arc. Her interactions with friends and her unrequited feelings for Aaron Cai serve to highlight her internal conflict, making her journey towards self-acceptance all the more compelling. The book balances moments of humor and heartbreak, making Jenna’s growth feel authentic and relatable.

*I Am Not Jessica Chen* is not just a tale of rivalry; it’s a thoughtful examination of what it means to be true to oneself. Jenna’s journey encourages readers to embrace their unique talents and identities, reminding us that real fulfillment comes from within, not from comparison or imitation. This engaging novel is sure to resonate with anyone who has ever felt overshadowed, and it ultimately leaves readers with a powerful message about self-love and acceptance. A must-read for those navigating the complexities of adolescence and the pressures of perfectionism!

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hi! i am, in fact, Not jessica chen or jenna, nor am i aaron, but god it's amazing how there are fragments of these characters that i see myself in. words on paper can do that to u! like i have never read a book that i understood so perfectly well, it's wild!

i teared up i laughed i love.. i genuinely am out of words. it's beautiful. it may seem cliché for some, but that's ok because it's perfect for me. people wouldn't understand how much my younger self, who once experienced similar things to these characters, would appreciate this book. i cannot thank ann liang enough for writing this book, i really do feel less alone, and i hope the comfort of this book will reach lots and lots of people!

i just think that i was meant to find and read this book. from the beloved characters who are now a part of me, to the romance, CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS!!!! #MY FAVOURITE TROPE EVER! to making wishes, school, wanting longing pining, etc.. ugh this book is so dear to me.

to others, it might just be a fine good or wonderful time, but to me, it's Everything.

the biggest thank you to ann liang and the team for providing me an arc

Beautiful artwork and a beautiful story. It was a deeply relatable story for me and such a great depiction of the dangers of perfectionism and chasing after someone else’s success. Not everything is always how it seems and the author does an amazing job at showing that and capturing the readers attention. Highly recommend!

Thank you to NetGalley for providing an ARC of this book.

I don't know if I've ever related to a book so much.

As an Asian girl raised by parents whose dreams started with an H and ended in an acceptance letter, I know that I am the exact demographic for this book. I've lived it. I relate almost too much.

Going into this book, I knew that would happen. What I didn't expect was how deeply seen I would feel.

In short, this is the best book by Ann Liang I've ever read.

My (deeply personal) long review:

There are very few books with such wonderfully flawed protagonists, and this book is one of them. Jenna is unreliable at times and extremely detailed at others--she tends to overexaggerate others and undervalue herself. But that's what we all do.

We all look around and wonder why we can't be as good as everyone else. We see everyone else's strengths and our own flaws in such excruciating detail. We all wish that we could get out of our own heads sometimes. Just like Jenna is, though, we're all so stuck in our own worlds. Sometimes we'll peek over at the real world, and if we're lucky we'll see something better than what we were hoping for. If not, we'll see the glimpses of the real world that match the world we've made in our heads and we'll suddenly feel like we were right all along and everyone is just better. Either way, we'll retreat right back in.

Trust me. I know exactly how that feels.

And maybe this book does too. Maybe it can be a romanticization and a criticism all at once. Maybe it doesn't have to choose--it can be a wonderfully romantic criticism. Or a terribly sharp romance, one in which we lie to ourselves and each other and say that we didn't study or that this grade doesn't matter, but we won't actually mean it. We might lie and hurt each other sometimes, but we're never actually malicious--just angry and jealous and insecure sometimes.

But it's high school, when the acceptance letter you might never get feels like the end of the world. You haven't climbed high enough to see over to the other side of the wall yet, nor are you mature enough to look around it. So you'll just keep looking up at the edge, where some fancy decision letter with words you can't see yet sits. And you feel like you have the power to change what's written on that letter--maybe you do-but you probably spend too much time obsessing over it. When really, we don't have much power over anything in our lives.

And I think this book captures all that, which is probably why I like it so much. I may not know what it's like to go on a epic journey across a fantasy world with a band of fantastical friends, but I do know what it's like to sit in a classroom and take a test you know you cannot fail. I know what it's like to obsess over your inbox for an email that could ruin your day, your month, or your year. I know what it's like to look at someone else's test, grade, achievement, or award and feel the too-familiar sting of self-loathing. I know what it's like to want something so desperately you would give almost anything to get it.

And probably, you (if you're still here) do too. Because this is a book that's not just about universities and grades, it's about that wanting. It's about hating yourself so much that you lose sight of what's important. It's dealing with disappointment and failure when you're surrounded by success and it feels like that golden light of success reaches everywhere but you. It's about looking so hard at everyone else's strengths that you forget about your own. (it's also a romance)

Anyways, I love this book so so much.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
4 ⭐
Think of “this is me trying”, academic validation, and “midnight rain” in one book.

4 stars because of all the emotions I felt while reading this. This book made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my struggles. This felt as if it was my life in writing and I was simply just reading it. I have never felt this strongly connected to a book or character as much as I have to this one. Ann Liang brings to us her YA dark academia novel where a failing artist Jenna Chen feels like anything she’s ever done is never enough. Her cousin Jessica Chen, the model star student, the one who is better than her academically and more devoted, having been compared to and living in the shadows of her cousin her whole life she wishes she could know what it feels like to be “perfect” like her. So the next day she wakes up in Jessica Chen’s body and for the first time she doesn’t feel like a failure but she feels seen and adored. But wishes like this come with a price, she must inevitably decide whether or not it’s worth losing everything she’s ever known to be Jessica Chen.
Ann Liang’s simple yet engaging writing has a way of touching your heart through her words. The way she wrote these characters, it was as if I saw a part of me in them. The way she was able to express the realism in her dialogues was just absolutely astonishing. Everytime I read it my heart clenched. This book owned my heart and soul and I can't wait to reread this again someday and cry again to these characters! Hope you give this a chance too and see how amazing it was!

This hurt my heart as an overachiever that always falls a little short of my parents expectations. Ann Liang absolutely SLAYED as always. I love love love her writing style and her YA romances always leave me crying happy tears. I’m so excited to have a physical copy of this book!!!

Book:
I AM NOT JESSICA CHEN by Ann Liang
Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the EARC (Jan28)

Review:
3⭐
I feel like we've all been there: thinking someone's better than us, wishing we were smarter, wishing we could succeed at something someone else has succeeded at. That's what Jenna Chen thinks.
I AM NOT JESSICA CHEN follows Jenna and Jessica. Jessica: perfect, smart, ticket to Harvard. Jenna: not happy with herself, parents who want her to be more like Jessica, etc. When Jenna makes a wish, she finds herself trapped in Jessica's body. But nothing is as it seems.
I AM NOT JESSICA CHEN has "Freaky Friday" vibes that immediately pulled me in. After reading some of the early reviews, I was expecting a near perfect read, but this book didn't fully hit the mark. It felt almost lackluster in a sense... The beginning was interesting. Then the switch happened and book was repetitive for the entire middle with no real progression. The last bit of the book did keep me hooked better, but ultimately, I thought the execution fell short, the repetitiveness was annoying, and Jessica's lack of pov, even though it affected her too, was something that the author should have thought about adding to add more dimension.

I would read anything Ann Liang published. Give me her shopping list and I’ll give it a 5 star rating in a heartbeat. But this book is her best one yet, and that’s not an easy feat.
This is a book about a girl who wants to be someone else. But, above all, it’s a book about wanting more. More success, more recognition, to be more. Jenna Chen is a character that represents me in a way no other character ever did.
She wishes upon a star to become her beautiful smart ivy-league accepted cousin and she does, kind of a freaky friday situation. Now, she has to navigate this new life, watching everyone forget who Jenna is, as she never existed, and find out if being the “perfect” student and daughter is really everything she hoped it would be.
I can only say that this novel felt very near and dear to my heart. I think we all at one point or another in our life looked at someone else’s life and wished they could be them. I read this while struggling with the feeling of not being good enough and came out with a more positive outcome of life. And of course, as a hopeless romantic, I loved the couple moments as well.
This is for the burnt-out prodigy kids who feel like they’re never going to be good enough. Ann Liang, you get me in a way no one else ever did.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers (HarperCollins Children's Books) for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins for the free ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions within are my own.

—

When it comes to raw, visceral, deeply empathetic portrayal of teenage fears, insecurities and longing, few are better than Ann Liang. With a light, deft hand, she cuts right down to the heart of all the ways success culture and the institutional racism of an elite private school can wear away at not only her protagonist, Jenna’s, self esteem and sanity, but the other students around her as well, from the brilliantly overachieving to the never-good-enough. The emotions Liang portrays are incredibly real and heartbreaking, and as we got closer and closer to the climax, I couldn’t put this book down.

Was it a perfect book, then? Not quite. The pacing got laggy for much of the middle, taking the wind out of the emotional stakes. Jenna getting repeatedly injured multiple times just so Aaron could patch her up felt contrived and painted her as a damsel in distress. To go a bit further, the conflict in Jenna and Aaron’s relationship was entirely predicated on a Big Misunderstanding, and while it was entirely believable for an emotionally immature teenager - which Jenna definitely was at the start - and fit with the themes of the story, it’s still a trope set I find extremely annoying.

(I found Aaron a tiny bit too good to be true, but in a sea of garbage love interests, Mr. Green Flags is honestly such a breath of fresh air, and Liang did ultimately give him internality and soul.)

And once this book got going, oh, it got going! I found myself tearing up when Jenna admitted in so many words how much she’s hated herself, impressed by the thoughtful, empathetic portrayal of the secret note writer, and cheering when Jenna finally snapped over one microaggression too many. The ending felt heartwarming and well-earned, and left me grinning.

And oh, that cover! It looks and <I>feels</I> like one of Jenna’s self-portraits, as described in the text, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

So, all in all, I didn’t love this one as undyingly as I loved If You Could See The Sun, but I liked it an awful lot.