the premise of this book is really interesting, which is why i picked it up on here. but i didn't really enjoy it.

marketed as a novel, this book reads more like a memoir. the writing style is definitely more akin of a memoir than a novel, which was jarring. i picked it up because i was in the mood for a novel, NOT a memoir and it definitely affected my enjoyment (or lack of it) of the book as a mood reader.

the quotes from other authors and songs and the like were very distracting. it almost seemed like the book was relying on those quotes to relay its message, when i fully believe the story could have held up on its own with some editing.

i didn't enjoy being in the main character's head but her development was interesting. i liked her journey of self-discovery as ultimately, that's what this book is about: a woman discovering herself after something changes in her marriage that challenges her preconceived notions of what love, marriage, and desire is about. but it was a little too character-driven, i wish there was more of a clear linear plot throughout the book.

i didn't like it but i think those who enjoy existential questions about love, marriage, and desire could. as well as those who love more character-driven stories. thank you to the publisher for the e-arc!

Highly recommend for fans of ALL FOURS, MORE, or DON'T BE A STRANGER. Beautifully written and the reader experiences that New Relationship Energy secondhand. Loved it.

A unique and though-provoking read, this book explores what happens when a middle-aged couple decides to open their marriage, and the events and consequences that unfold. The story touched on so many interesting themes, including traditional gender roles, whether it's possible to love more than one partner, and personal fulfillment. The narrator frequently makes references to other works of literature, almost as if it is a memoir. Much more serious and introspective than a typical "romance" novel, I found this book refreshing.

I admit I have an interest in the open relationship/divorce books that have come out recently - for this one, I didn't love the writing style, it was a little repetitive. Overall pretty enjoyable though and a lighter addition to the open relationship/divorce genre.

This is a book that while is quite clever and the writing tight didn’t need to be written.

This is a topic that has been written to death and Calhoun didn’t really bring anything fresh to the narrative. The memoir style writing became quite tedious and I felt like the main character lacked personal growth pertaining to her age and status in life.

I found this book to be very well written. It might appeal to readers looking for investigations of long marriages and the transition points in women's lives. I found myself thinking of All Fours by Miranda July at times, and this might work for those who are enjoyed that but maybe prefer something a little tamer.

I'm sorry, I was unable to finish this novel. I read roughly 50 pages and realized this wasn't a novel I would fully enjoy. Thank you.

This book won't be for everyone and at first I wasn't sure it was for me. I am challenging myself to read more women's fiction this year and I was drawn to this premise because I am going through a similar situation that I am struggling with in my personal life and I saw a lot of my issues in those of the unnamed narrator's.

What I didn't like: I'm an English/Creative Writing major so I thought I would be charmed by the constant quotations and philosophizing as the narrator navigates a newly open marriage. But there were so many quotations, each short chapter felt just littered with them; I found my eyes glazing over with so many. This author is clearly a well-read polymath and was showing that off to a pretentious degree.

It is also clearly autofiction, which is not my favorite style, and at first the story felt choppy, told in short personal essays instead of a cohesive, traditional narrative arc; a lot more telling referenced with quotations instead of showing and immersing us in the day to day of her life. It felt like reading her personal diary.

The narrator and many of the characters in this book are unlikable, but this is a modern love story and a story about feminism and a middle-aged woman coming of age in a new chapter in her life in a way that I found very relatable.

The story opens with the narrator talking about her history with crushes. Early on she learned she loved kissing men. Then she learned that kissing multiple men too quickly would get her labeled a slut, which made her uncomfortable. So she learned to navigate her love of kissing by having one monogamous relationship and a stable of crushes. She'd never act on these feelings but became an expert in the fun cat and mouse game of flirtation, which satisfied her need for awhile.

Then she marries Paul and has a kid with him. An artist whom she resentfully supports with her earnings as a ghostwriter, she is attracted to him not because he feels emasculated by her crushes but because he finds her flirting thrilling and erotic. The sex between them is good and the narrator values a stable family above all else, so she foregoes her needs, such as kissing.

Paul proposes an open marriage, in which the narrator can kiss anyone she likes, and in return Paul can experiment with online dating. But the boundaries and expectations keep shifting, leading to miscommunication and jealousy.

Wondering who she can kiss next, the narrator reconnects with an old college crush, who is now a very sexy but nerdy college professor, and the two engage in a long-distance correspondence over a shared love of books and letters. Soon the narrator finds herself in a dilemma: She has fallen in love with another man, and it is a deep, lifetime, spirtual sort of soulmate connection. And suddenly everything she had with Paul that was good before becomes suffocating and stale and she has to choose the kind of life she wants for herself, while struggling with her complicated relationship with her dying writer father. It soon becomes apparent that she's sought emotional validation from everyone in her life except herself.

Advocates of polyamory and people who hate cheating will each dislike this novel, because what this couple practices is not polyamory at all or even ethical nonmonogamy. They aren't honest with each other about their expectations and boundaries, and aren't fair to themselves or their lovers. A couple like this is the worst fear of a poly purist who is dating for genuine connection. My poly friends aren't like this couple. And the nonstop quotations just felt like the narrator trying to justify an extramarital affair and became tedious. I found myself frequently rolling my eyes at how incredibly sappy they got - sometimes I wanted to shake them to take responsibility for their affair.

I also wanted to shake Paul sometimes - how could he know his wife so little that he thought she could keep it at just kissing? I often wondered what he was getting out of the marriage other than financial dependence.

But it happens, married people fall in love with other people, and I liked their love story. Telling you who she picks would be a complete spoiler.

However, the way the overall narrative arc coalesced was beautiful and touching to me, and I found this novel had a lot of meaningful things to say about love, relationships, what women want and if they really can have it all, and nontraditional families.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

While I was intrigued by the premise of Crush by Ada Calhoun, it was ultimately a DNF for me.

A woman’s husband asks her to consider what their roles as husband and wife really mean. However, the book read more like a memoir than literary fiction—so I gave up on it.

Thanks to Viking and NetGalley for the eARC.

I was really excited to read this book based on the reviews: I was expecting light and funny and aspirational. Instead, I got a book that was mostly kind of just sad? A husband asks his wife for an open marriage (first beginning with her kissing other people), and it was clear to me from the start that he was just trying to assuage his own guilt. Of course it turns out that he had an affair earlier in their marriage (he had said that it was an emotional affair but it was more than that). But the wife ends up really enjoying flirting with other men, and then falls in love with one of the men she starts writing to. There's so much angst and this book really didn't feel like it was much about a crush and more about falling in love with someone else while still married. I had no problem with the fact that the marriage ended or that she fell in love with someone else--happens all the time--but more with the fact that the book didn't really live up to its premise.

Thank you NetGalley for the free digital galley of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This reads more like a memoir than a novel. And as a novel, you question whether you have a reliable narrator. Literary references abound. It may be delightful to some but if you are looking for a rom-com this ain't it.

Reading CRUSH by Ada Calhoun is akin to having your best friend obsess constantly about her affections for someone amidst her growing disenchantment with a current partner. The ‘will-he-won’t-he’ the ‘is-this-my-soul-partner’ or the ‘how-will-I-ever live-with-this’ is unending and recognizable. It is the stuff of countless one-sided conversations. I’m just not the right audience for this book; I have experienced too many of these situations and reading another was not that enjoyable. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley.

I really enjoyed this book. Ada Calhoun explores and interrogates what it means to be married to one person, and fall in love with another. Initially hesitant to agree to her husband's request to "soft launch" into an open marriage, once the protagonist contacts an old college crush, an avalanche of emotions and spiritual awakenings begin, rocking everyone in its wake. Wonderfully written, at its core, this book examines what it is to love. Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin for the opportunity to read this eArc in exchange for an honest review.

I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Crushes while married leads to complications.

This novel reads so much like a memoir that I had to double check myself multiple times. Ada Calhoun is a brilliant writer, and a writer who writes for English majors and anyone who loves books. The subject matter of this book might be difficult for some, but it’s much more a novel of self exploration than it is about polyamory. It’s about the nuances of love, relationships, family and marriage, not sex. I thought it was smart, funny, wise and engaging.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this one and know it’ll be a book that will be talked about and create conversations. And that’s ultimately good for literature and book culture. But I can’t say I liked it and found it hard to read at times. Interesting but not for me.

Crush by Ada Calhoun is an interesting character study of a woman finding herself later in life. The book is written in a way that almost feels like a memoir and it follows its narrator as she and her husband begin to experiment with their relationship, beginning when Paul suggests that she might be interested in kissing other people and telling him about it. So begins her foray into self-discovery and trying to figure out what it is that she wants out of her life now that she has been married and raised her son who is nearly ready to go off to college. She discusses her life changes with her best friend and ends up striking up a correspondence with an old colleague who teaches her even more about what she wants out of life, but straining her relationship with her husband in the process.

I found this book to be quite unique. There wasn't a huge overarching plot, but each chapter felt like a story of its own and they were all connected by the fact that the narrator was having these experiences and learning about herself. Part of what made the book feel so much like a memoir was that there were a lot of quotes and references to literature and philosophy. I think for the length of the book there were maybe a few too many quotes, making some chapters feel more like an analysis of a concept than a chapter in a book. I did still enjoy getting to know the main character and seeing her grow throughout the story. The later part of the book had more of a plot, so I enjoyed the second half more than the first. This will be a great read for people who enjoy character driven books and books about self-discovery.

5/5

"Crushes were how you stayed a little bit in love with the world even though you had a husband."

This book ripped me open and sewed me back together. I devoured this book, and I am already planning my re-read. Crush is romantic, and heartbreaking, and pretentious in the best way.

Thank you NetGalley and Penguin Group for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

I'm a huge fan of Ada Calhoun's work, but this one missed the mark for me. It's yet another female midlife crisis memoir, but when compared to the far superior "All Fours" or "Don't Be a Stranger," it falls short. Calhoun reconnects with a guy, falls in love via ponderous emails, divorces her husband with very little drama, and then has a magical romance with her new beau. I'd love to have the financial cushion to just say "eh, I'll give my ex half my money, all good" and just move on. Guess her dad's Village Voice art criticism paid pretty well.

Thanks to NetGalley and Viking for the advanced reader copy.

The premise for this book--the husband of a woman seemingly content with her life asks her to consider what their roles as husband and wife really mean, sending her down the rabbit hole of thinking about what it means to have a crush on someone--sounded intriguing, but the book read more like a journal of unconnected thoughts than a well structured novel. This one just wasn't for me.