Firstborn Girls is a deeply heartfelt memoir about family, identity, race, and history. McFadden explores her roots, dating back to her four-times great-grandmother in 1822, and uses the information she finds about her ancestors and about the history of Black people to trace a map of her own life. This is a uniquely beautiful book that not only includes the life and lessons of one woman but of many, each life offering its own trials and tribulations, wisdom and power. I loved the emphasis on McFadden’s ancestors and the connection that she so clearly feels to them—it added an additional special touch on this already stunning piece of work. I appreciated McFadden’s directness in her writing about her past and about the discrimination that non-white people and communities, specifically Black communities, have faced; she doesn’t sugar-coat and I admire that in an author and a memoir. Firstborn Girls is a story of survival and resiliency against all odds; a book that everyone should read.

I didn’t know who this author was when I accepted an ARC for her memoir and maybe that was a mistake because it took me a while to get through this.

Glad I was given the opportunity to read it, she has had to overcome a lot of struggles, but I felt that this book just focused more on that and, as readers, we never get to really learn about her career as a writer.

When an author you’ve followed for years writes her memoir, you get in line to read it! I was thrilled to dive into Bernice’s story. It felt like I was sitting in a coffee shop or at a kitchen table and I asked her “Bernice, what’s your story?” and we end up just chatting with each other for hours! The writing is excellent (per usual) and the structure of the experiences really provided great insights into why Bernice felt they shaped her story enough for a memoir. Very thankful for the privilege of her story. Especially while she's still here to get her flowers!

I haven't been reading nonfiction much recently, mostly because I am trying to escape reality these days, but the title of this book (even though I am not a first-born girl - second born!) and the premise really stood out to me. I am so glad I picked this up.

FIRST BORN GIRLS is more than an exploration of what it means to carry the weight of being the first-born daughter in a family. It's a poignant exploration of class and race in the United States, and how all of that compounded with being a first-born girl shapes who these special women are. It's traumatic at times, hopeful throughout, thought-provoking every page, and engaging every step of the way.

If you are looking for a nonfiction book to add to your list, make it this one.

Bernice McFadden is truly a master storyteller, and Firstborn Girls proves that her gift extends far beyond fiction. This memoir was a fascinating and deeply engaging read from beginning to end.

I had no idea the extent of the trauma that has shaped her life. And yet, she continues to not only survive—but to thrive—and to share her powerful voice with the world. That alone is remarkable. Her honesty, vulnerability, and resilience leap off the page.

I don’t have much more to say other than this: Firstborn Girls moved me. It reminded me why I love her work so much. A solid five stars—without question.

This book was fantastic! The weaving of the story of Bernice’s life with the lives of her ancestors was expertly crafted. The stories of these women both succumbing to history repeating itself while also breaking generational curses really conveys the truth of life being messy and imperfect.

Firstborn girls have to go through a lot, don’t they? They are the little mothers, second woman in the house, protector of their siblings while all trying to live their lives

Bernice McFadden is one of those girls too. She started facing curveballs even when she was a little baby, surviving a car crash left her first dead but with scars once she was resuscitated. Then it was all about finding the balance at home, not ending up on her father’s bad side, and still be the teenager on top of all societal calamities she had to face

This book was a great memoir in the way she told her story, making it fast paced, heartbreaking, and triumphant all at once. I liked to see her push through the lows and enjoy the highs of her life

I loved this memoir so much! I have been in awe of Bernice L. McFadden since reading Sugar years ago. And over the years, I have devoured many of her books, even the ones under another pen name. So when I learned she was writing a memoir, I knew I had to get my hands on it fast!

Reading Firstborn Girls was like having a visit with your favorite aunt-- hanging on to her every word while she shared stories of her life. And though the stories may not have been shared with just you, you cherish them as if they were secrets only divulged to you. Firstborn Girls took readers on a journey through McFadden's life, beginning with the car accident that nearly claimed her life when she was only two years old. From that first anecdote, I became hooked. Always admiring her way with words, I read on as McFadden told me about her grandmothers, mother, father, siblings, and other family members that colored her world. She also shared brief American History lessons within stories of her own personal history, which helped me to see the world around her in full color.

I loved learning more about McFadden's life, how her writing career began, and especially how the short story Sugar became a full-length novel. As one of my favorite authors, I will treasure this read and share it with everyone-- as I have Sugar, This Bitter Earth, and several of her other books.

Many thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

I’ve read Bernice Mcfadden’s work before and loved each one and this was no different. In fact, this work of auto ethnography might be my favorite.

The complicated relationship between mothers and daughters is examined with such care and compassion. Life doesn’t give do-overs but children allow parents to experience a different way of knowing themselves.

First Born Daughters was a wonderful example of how memoir can be instructive and poetic and healing. It’s already one of my best reads for 2025.

Thank you netgalley for the advance eARC. This is an excellent memoir. I hate to admit that I haven't read any of Bernice McFadden's fiction yet, but I will remedy that right away! She is a fantastic writer, and her story of her family and history, and journey to becoming a writer was very good.

I absolutely loved "Sugar" and "This Bitter Earth" by Bernice L. McFadden so I was really excited that we were getting a memoir from this author. Firstborn Girls is McFadden's memoir telling the story of multiple generations of firstborn daughters within her family and how they are all connected. If you've ever read any of her fiction you know that she does not hold back and the same holds true for this memoir. Initially I was struggling with following who is who but after sitting the book down and circling back it was very clear to me who these women were and the different walks of live they experienced. Firstborn Girls is a book that grabs you from the very beginning and I recommend this book regardless of if you're familiar with her fiction or not. I found the audiobook to be particularly great experience.

I adored this book.

I rarely read memoirs, but Bernice L. McFadden is one of my favorite authors, so I didn’t think twice about reading this one.

So many elements of her story resonated with me – her family dynamics, her interest in researching her family lineage and hearing the stories passed down from her relatives, her love of books and reading from a very young age – the list goes on. The title is what initially caught my attention, being that I too am a firstborn girl; however, this book explores so much more. She takes the time to cover various historical events that she either lived through or were relevant to the people, places or circumstances in her life. She doesn’t shy away from talking about difficult topics such as domestic abuse that occurred in her own family. She also shows us what it looks like to continue to pursue a dream even when it seems as if no one else believes in you or wants to give you a chance.

In this memoir Bernice shares her love and admiration for the authors that influenced her most: Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, J. California Cooper – just to name a few. I think what warmed my heart the most while reading this book was the fact that her name is now included with those same revered authors when discussing the greatest black female writers of our time.

Thank you Bernice McFadden for sharing a piece of your history with us. The woman who emerged from such a turbulent childhood is full of grace and talent and uses it to craft beautiful stories for her readers.

I ran the emotional gauntlet with this memoir and the way McFadden writes makes it easy to inhabit her story. Her mother and grandmothers and the other strong women who she holds dear and in high regard have all helped in shaping you and your experiences. The lessons learned as she grows from child to teen to young woman are all so relatable.

I am so glad that this exists and wish it to reach all who need to see themself reflected in words on a page.

Thank you to the author, publisher and Net Galley for providing a free e-book ARC of this title in exchange for my review.

I love memoirs because they are a window into another person's life, another time, another culture. But they can also be so tough to read - and review - because they are REAL. This is a deeply personal, heartfelt memoir about history, identity, family and race, where the author explores her roots going back several generations. She also learns about the history of Black people and traces a map of her own life. The emphasis on the author's ancestors and connection she feels to them is especially special to me, as I love family history, and I found those sections especially specials and enjoyable.

This is a beautiful, courageous book about history, hard truth, survival against the odds and I feel that everyone should read this book. IT will live in my mind for many years to come.

5 stars - highly recommend, and will probably read again!

For some reason, I didn't realize this was a memior when i requested it ,

This was...traumatic to me?
Her formative yers were brutal and hard to read but i think it's meant to give us background into how she became the writer she is.

Thank you to NetGalley for the Arc. All opinions are my own.

What a Memoir. I couldn't put it down. The writing, the way the story is told, Although it is a very raw story, child abuse by her father and all the violence in general she lived as a child along with her family but I can see how all those experiences made it the person she is now, and being vulnerable and brave to share it with the world.

Firstborn Girls by Bernice L. McFadden is one outstanding memoir exploring inherited trauma, family secrets, and the enduring bonds of love between mothers and daughters.
This book was hard to put down. The author did a great job with the details in the story and is a fantastic storyteller.

I am so thankful to Dutton Books, Bernice L. McFadden, and Netgalley for granting me advanced access to this book before it hits shelves on March 4, 2025. This book was crazy and I could NOT put it down at all. I was simply hooked from the start.

I found "Firstborn Girls" to be a particularly rough read, especially the first two parts. I picked up this memoir mainly because I wanted to learn about McFadden's publishing career, but much of the book focuses on her childhood under an abusive father. The first half of the memoir details scene after scene of her father terrorizing her mother and children, creating a heavy, often disturbing reading experience. I read a lot of rough material but listening to it in first person POV over chapters and chapters was... a lot. I imagine living through it was also a lot.

I understand these traumatic experiences shaped McFadden as a writer. The resilience she developed through surviving family violence certainly influenced her voice and perspective, particularly in her penning the novel SUGAR, which remains my favorite McFadden novel. The historical context she weaves throughout adds depth to her personal narrative, connecting her story to broader African American experiences.

What frustrated me most about this memoir is that it ends just when it starts to get truly interesting for me. Right as McFadden begins to discuss her entry into publishing—the part I was most eager to read—the book concludes. This abrupt ending left me hoping there might be another volume focused on her writing career and experiences in the publishing world.

While McFadden's writing is powerful and her story important, the balance of content didn't match what I had hoped to find. For readers specifically interested in her literary journey rather than her formative years, be prepared that this volume only takes you to the threshold of her publishing career.

This is a compelling memoir. It is hard for me to grasp all the trauma McFadden experienced in childhood and later. Family violence was one aspect of it. I was amazed she was able to overcome so much to become a published author and professor.

The way the narrative is organized was a little confusing to me. There was some jumping around in time and in the people she was writing about. I would have preferred a more chronological and focused account. I did appreciate the area history McFadden would insert from time to time. Some of her writing was quite lyrical.

McFadden's memoir is a story of family, trauma, and perseverance. It clearly shows the difficulties some families have, going down generations. It is worth reading.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.