A properly kaleidoscopic view on the best subject of all: gossip. I relished the chance to think so deeply about something so many people think is trivial. The book has a great blend of research and voice-y prose, which kept it from skewing too dry or too frivolous. I knocked it a star because I've read enough pop science/pop social science books that a lot of the research was familiar to me, so it wasn't truly revelatory. Still a very fun book!

3.75 stars. I enjoy the podcast Normal Gossip so was interested to check out the host’s book. This was interesting and I was not bored, but it also felt a bit like a padded out essay that was turned into a book. I’m sure this is an exaggeration but it felt like upwards of 25% was quoted material from other sources. I get that gossip can sometimes be good and sometimes be bad. Would have loved a bit more of the fun vibes the podcast has.

Thank you to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for providing me with an advance reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review.

Publishes February 11, 2025.

I love the podcast "Normal Gossip" which was previously hosted by the author of this book, Kelsey McKinney. In the podcast, she presents anonymous gossip stories that are full of fun & plot twists.

This book focused on the topic of gossip and was a well-researched non-fiction book about why gossip is essential to our society in many different forms.

There were several things that I enjoyed about the book to include how thought provoking and nuanced it was about the topic of gossip. One of my favorite chapters was on evangelical Christianity and its relationship with gossip which did make me think about the topic within the context of my faith.

There were some aspect that were more challenging for me about the book too - sometimes I felt the topics were less what I would personally classify as "gossip" and more about story-telling. It felt like English may have limitations on it's definitions around different ways we communicate about each other. I also am a mood reader and think I was expecting the book to be a written version of her podcast - light & funny. While there were moments of this, it was mainly a well-informed and research-based read. Overall, it's a worthwhile read if you want to consider the nuances of gossip and pop culture.

I love gossip and I think Kelsey is an incredible story teller so i went into this with high expectations. I really enjoyed a lot of the chapters but felt some some of them could have relied less on quotes and could have been edited down. The final chapter was fantastic and ended the book on a strong note. Overall would recommend, this was a fun read

Overview: Kelsey McKinney takes a deep dive into gossip through a series of essays in a spinoff of her podcast, Normal Gossip. On the podcast, McKinney and her co-host delve into stories from strangers, perfect bits of juicy gossip, and in this series of essay, McKinney breaks down different types of gossip and gossip adjacent constructs (urban legends, parasocialism, conspiracy theories, anonymous gossip, why Chat GPT can't gossip, etc) in these well researched, thoughtful essays that infuse her personal experiences as a lifelong gossip and internet resident with scientific literature, literature-literature, and pieces of the art world. Overall: 4.5

Notes: I'm going to be totally honest and say that while this was an early "most anticipated" of 2025 for me, I had no clue that Kelsey McKinney had a podcast. I was scrolling through Twitter last year, saw one of her tweets either announcing or promoting preorders or something like that and thought, "A book about gossip? Yes please." So I went to NetGalley and long story short, I've now read the book. While McKinney's podcast does lend some anecdotes to the book, what better facilitates these essays is that McKinney is extremely well versed in pop culture, the internet, and literature. She pulls together a truly interesting and diverse pool of sources that she uses to make her points from novels to memoirs to scientific studies to examples pulled from movies. Having such a gem-filled treasure chest of a library of knowledge to work with makes the essays feel more unique, surprising, and delightful than they might have been from someone whose work was singularly focused on the more scientific angle of the subject.

These books about big topics usually go one of two ways. They either try to put the story of the topic in some narrative stricture, create a sequential order of things, or they jump right into essays that allow the author to delve into the most interesting sub-segments to them in more depth. This book goes for the essay style which makes it easy to digest and pick up for an essay or two. It's very approachable, and McKinney does a great job of creating a conversational tone that still feels rich and thoughtful. The book actually made me want to listen to the podcast. While I didn't learn a ton I didn't already know (I wasn't expecting to, I love this topic and those adjacent to it and have done a lot of reading on the subject), it felt like getting to discuss the subjects of the essay with a very thoughtful, intelligent friend, which is always exciting.

I think the book truly had me hooked when McKinney mentioned her attendance at the famous Lorde concert where Jack Antonoff came out and performed, stoking already ardent rumors that they were having an affair. While she didn't mention the truly wild powerpoint outlining why one fan thought this was true (she took the story in a different, interesting direction), that was the moment where I felt like this book was truly on my wavelength.
Review on blog forthcoming closer to release date.

The first essay opens with McKinney outlining what gossip is and how it fits within the larger lineage of storytelling by detailing her failed experiment to try to get Chat GPT to gossip with her. While I loathe any use of the pathetic chat robot, I thought that she made fantastic points that illuminated why Chat GPT is horrible at writing, be it stories or essays. She makes a fantastic argument against the chatbots that everyone should have to read. The next essay discusses the relationship between religion and gossip and the harms that come from gossip being cast as never acceptable. This is largely through the lens of her experience growing up in a megachurch, though the essay does ultimately reach beyond that.

The next series of essays center around popular media. She uses Mean Girls and the differences between the book, the original movie, and the remake to talk about protective gossip and the way that (largely women) use gossip to protect themselves and others from dangerous people. The essay on Anonymous gossip might be my favorite as it pulls together so many cultural touchpoints that I love. It centrally revolves around Gossip Girl and why the original show worked when the remake didn't, but within that, she discusses Refinery 29's Money Diaries series, Elena Ferrante's anonymity (which I didn't realize that was a pen name!), and, of course, Deuxmoi and blind items. This weaves together in such a satisfying way, and as someone who's not above glancing through subreddits gossiping about influencers and celebrities, this was a lot of fun.

Other essays in the collection tackle topics like parasocial relationships and the ways that fans will both start and ignore rumors to protect their conception of the celebrity they think they know. It was a take on the topic that I hadn't seen articulated before and was quite interesting. This is where the Lorde story I mentioned earlier comes in. Doxxing comes up and, of course, West Elm Caleb, and makes a point about how the ways we use social media only helps the creation of a surveillance state. Reality TV can't be left out as its a format entirely powered by gossip. Urban legends and their more sinister sibling, conspiracy theories comes up. I was a bit disappointed to see that my two favorite urban legends born of celebrity gossip (that Paul Mescal ends hook ups by taking his date to the park, pointing out a bird, and then hightailing it away the next morning and that Timothy Chalamet gave everyone at NYU chlamydia) do not make an appearance. Finally, McKinney chronicles how gossip often becomes compressed into history if it's about the right people at the right time and pays homage to the glories of eavesdropping.

Clearly, this book had me hooked, and it does a great job of exploring the topic in a fresh way with great modern, topical references. Even if you think you don't care about gossip, this is a great book for anyone who loves the internet (or loved what it was until recently). I highly recommend this to fans of Amanda Montell's books as well.

I was extremely excited to receive this ARC because Normal Gossip is my absolute favorite podcast. Unfortunately, what I consider to be the hallmarks of the show— tightly paced narrative, surprising insight, and madcap human— were all missing, I found the essays to be wandering and bland. The two most personal (gossip + evangelical Christianity and gossip +the Me Too movement) were by far the strongest even though the subject matter was the most serious. All in all I will continue to recommend the podcast, but would give the book a pass.

I wasn’t familiar with Kelsey McKinney or her podcast before picking up You Didn’t Hear This From Me, but I ended up really enjoying it. The book takes a fascinating look at gossip—how it weaves through our lives and culture, shaping the way we inform, learn, protect, and even deceive.

As I read, I started noticing real-life examples of how gossip plays a role in our daily interactions. McKinney challenges the idea that gossip is purely negative, offering a nuanced perspective on its power and complexity. She made me rethink how we communicate and the ways gossip can foster connection as much as it can cause harm.

This was an engaging and thought-provoking read, and I appreciated the fresh perspective it gave me. Whether you’re new to McKinney or a longtime fan, this book is definitely worth checking out. A solid 4 stars!

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for my free review copy.

Thank you for the opportunity to read this early copy - I love Kelsey's voice and it was strong throughout, a great reading experience. It's a wonderful companion to the hours I've spent with her podcasts and other writing, and I loved the balance between explanation without justification - it's not a guilty pleasure, it's an important communication. A wonderful read, and a distinct authorial tone - loved it!

Gossip is so often thought of as something superficial and extraneous and it was fun to read about its utility to society (in addition to its drawbacks)! This was interesting and thought-provoking and more academic in parts than I was expecting. Recommended to anyone who delights in gossip or is just curious to learn more about the way it shapes our relationships and communities.

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.

I really enjoyed this one--did you ever realize how our concept of "gossip" is gendered? Women gossip. Men...discuss?

Gossip isn't frivolous--it's useful. Without gossip, marginalized people have less of a voice. Corrupt individuals and organizations stay in power.

This really made me see its utility in a whole different way.

A revolutionary book about gossip. I appreciate all of the different perspectives and angles on the topic. They really helped me understand my own relationship with gossip, and will shape my decisions around the subject moving forward.

This book was a very interesting perspective on the topic of “gossip” and how it weaves its way through life and culture. As I read the book I became aware of real time examples in my own life, of the way humans use gossip all the time to inform, learn, protect, and deceive. It isn’t always a bad thing, and I think this book helped me take a closer look at the way we communicate.

*A sincere thank you to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for providing the advance copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review.*

Though not a listener of McKinney's podcast (Normal Gossip), I, like many, have always had a 'guilty pleasure' approach to gossip. Growing up I was told, and believed, that gossip was bad because it was only used to hurt others. Yet YOU DIDN'T HEAR THIS FROM ME managed to break through that long held belief and remind me that not all gossip is bad, and not all gossip is good - in truth, gossip is simply information, it's what you do with it that matters.

Through this collection of essays I really began to think about my relationship with gossip, why I sometimes do it, why I sometimes crave it, and why the world is so against it. I particularly liked the bit that focused on gossip as a tool women use to protect themselves, be it in relationships, in workplaces, or just in moments of everyday life. This book is clearly well researched, with McKinney citing a wealth of resources to back up her own words, and I think it ultimately does a wonderful job of highlighting the fact that gossip is more complex than most people believe. Would absolutely recommend!

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was a thought-provoking book of essays centered on the topic of gossip. Kelsey McKinney offers original and well-researched perspectives on a variety of subjects, from Mean Girls to religion to parasocial relationships to Britney Spears to the limits of human senses and the slippery nature of truth.
I appreciated that McKinney establishes gossip as a vital human behavior and acknowledges early on that the demonization of gossip is a feminist issue. She really effectively uses those lenses in most of the essays. I found that the essays at the beginning of the book tended to be stronger and toward the end they were a little more speculative.
Her tone is rather conversational which helps keep the content accessible and fun, but I found myself getting a little impatient with it sometimes. I think some of the essays would probably have been more engaging and clear to listen to than read, because of inflection or pacing, (which was not entirely unexpected from a podcaster).
I’ve already recommended it to several friends for when it’s released, and I’ve added a couple of the books McKinney references to my TBR. Overall an enjoyable, enlightening read and a fun and worthwhile contribution to the conversation around human communication.

While I have only listened to the author’s podcast once, I do love me some gossip so thought this would be an interesting read and it was!

I have to admit, it took me a bit to get into it. The chapters and long and without breaks which I find makes it harder for me to pick up a book. However each chapter had a focus which would make it tricky to break up. Some of the chapters I was more interested in than others but all were good. The writing was engaging and entertaining, especially for a non fiction book. I think this book would be even better as an audiobook.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the arc!

Loved this! My only hesitation to rate it 5 stars is that I wish Kelsey been a little bit more confident in her (hilarious and intelligent) voice, instead of relying on quotes from so many experts. There were times where I felt more like I was reading a Masters thesis than a book. That said, it is obviously VERY well researched, and Kelsey's point of view on gossip and the world at large are a breath of fresh air in an ecosystem that doesn't research enough. So I'm going to rate it 5 stars anyway.

If you're a fan of Normal Gossip, you'll certainly be a fan of this!

You Didn’t Hear This From Me: (Mostly) True Notes on Gossip by Kelsey McKinney is a sharp, insightful, and often hilarious exploration of the power and impact of gossip in our lives. McKinney dives into the complexities of how gossip shapes relationships, reputations, and even the media, with a mix of personal anecdotes and cultural analysis. What I loved about this book is McKinney’s ability to balance humor with depth—while she discusses some serious topics, her writing is witty and engaging, making it feel like you're having a conversation with a smart, funny friend. If you're into pop culture, media, or just want to understand the behind-the-scenes of gossip and its effects on society, this book is a must-read!

This book was everything I wanted from the Normal Gossip book!! I read it because I'm a big fan of the podcast, and it delivered. It was slightly more academic than I thought it would be, but still easily digestable. Every new topic introduced I was like, YES! The essays were all cohesive and interesting. Can't wait to buy a print copy!

From the host of Normal Gossip comes a collection of essays exploring gossip and its place in our society. While I don’t listen to the podcast (though I constantly see it rec’d to me based on similar shows..maybe it’s time I check it out?), I tore through this! These essays range from Gossip Girl and “Leave Britney Alone” to how urban legends start and separating the art from the artist; while I went in expecting something juicer (Real Housewives and Deuxmoi grace these pages after all), I couldn’t help but be fascinated by this look at our relationship with gossip.

A solid and fun perspective on gossip and its meaning, significance, and how it shapes our lives. Normal Gossip is one of my absolute favorite podcasts, so I was glad to get my hands on this early. I will say, I was pretty familiar with a lot of the talking points from listening to the podcast. I felt like a lot of the book tried to convince me of both the fun and seriousness of gossip, but I was like... oh, I'm already on this train! You don't need to convince me! That said, Things Half Heard is an STANDOUT essay for me. I found the discussion of Kelsey's hearing loss and how it impacts her gossiping both poignant and hilarious. Great stuff.