First Love Language follows high school senior Catie as she has to move for the summer from San Diego to Salt Lake City after her mom loses her job and they have to move with her very Mormon aunt. This coming of age debut was incredibly sweet and offered a closer look into exploring themes of adoption, family, and one's cultural identity.

Catie wasn't expecting her summer to take the turn it did, especially when the opportunity to learn her first language arises through the form of an exchange of lessons between her and her new coworker Toby. While he will help her reconnect with her Taiwanese heritage and language, she'll give him dating lessons to help him score a date with his longtime crush - the only catch is that she's never dated anyone in her life. Armed with only her late father's annotated copy of The Five Love Languages, Catie has to come up with an entire curriculum to prove she's an expert on love, while learning more about a part of her past and identity she had always been left in the dark on.

Reading this book felt like a love letter to adoptees which is reflected in the author's note as well. Pulling on personal experiences, Stefany Valentine dives into what it means to be adopted and the emotional process of deciding how to find the answers to one's birth parents. Through Catie's perspective, we get to understand the joys that come from finding long lost relatives as well as the pain of discovering all the time lost as a result. Her story offers a gentle hug to readers who might be experiencing or have experienced the similar journeys all while offering a lighthearted element of first loves.

On that note, I did wish that we could have spent more time in the "love department" because I was initially intrigued by the use of The Five Love Languages. While Catie uses her father's copy to come up with dates for Toby, she begins to realize that love is so much more than what she initially thought. I loved their interactions together as they tried to keep things platonic and professional all while tiny seeds of romance are being planted. In some ways, Catie's lessons with Toby begin to help her come to terms with all she's discovering about her birth mother and family, allowing her to find love and support that she's always yearned for.

First Love Language is a lovely debut that offers readers to develop a deeper understanding of the adoptee experience while getting a glimpse into first love and lost identities and I would definitely love to see what the author comes out with next!

3.5 Stars

A heartfelt coming-of-age story about a girl still reeling from the loss of her father and missing a connection to her biological mom and her Taiwanese heritage. You can tell that Catie’s yearning for family connection was something the author truly felt, and how much losing her first language, Mandarin, affected her after moving to the US after her parents’ divorce. This would be a great book for someone who is looking to connect with their heritage or someone who is trying to find themself as they grow and learn about what’s truly important to them to live a happy life.

This book was a little difficult for me to read at times, because Catie was kind of all over the place - worried about moving, about finding her bio family, about hurting her adoptive mom, about her job, about Toby, about learning Mandarin, about the stupid lies she was telling. I get it, it’s a lot to deal with. But I wanted to sit her down and say, “Just be HONEST with people.” I guess that’s what she eventually learned; I just wanted her to do it faster, haha.

There were a few elements I didn’t love as well. I’m not a fan of the book The Five Love Languages, and I’m not sure I would have picked this to read if I had known it would be such a focus. I appreciate Catie mentioning her dad had updated parts that were outdated in his copy, but he clearly valued it. Maybe that’s because of his Mormon heritage? I also didn’t love how much the Mormon church played a role in this book, but I would guess that’s an integral part of the author’s story, as well, and why it had to be included. I appreciate that Catie’s family has taken a step back from it, and it was nice to see some queer representation with Mavis, Alex, and others.

The other part I wasn’t sold on was Toby and Catie’s relationship, but that’s possibly because they seem so young to be professing love for one another. They clearly like hanging out and are drawn to one another, each finding the other very attractive, as well as good company. I get why Catie was nervous to tell Toby the truth about her non-existent boyfriend, but Toby seemed irrationally angry about it for way longer than I thought he would. And then suddenly, because he saw what Catie wrote about falling for him and admitting to the lie, he was suddenly ok with things? Seems a little too much of a switch.

Also, there are some inconsistencies with how Toby’s feelings are presented. When they are having their real first date at his house, he says, “Sorry for being too dense to see that I’ve had a crush on you since our first practice date. But I guess it took being with the wrong girl to make me realize I’d rather be with the one I love.” But like two seconds later, he says, “Ever since our first practice date, I’ve wanted to tell you that… and I’ve wanted to kiss you.” He also wrote her that letter in Mandarin the night after their almost-kiss and said, “Even though you have a boyfriend, I still fell in love with you.” So, I wish Toby’s feelings had been more consistently presented when everything was out in the open.

Regardless of the few issues I had with the book, I would definitely recommend it to those looking for a story about connecting with your biofamily, especially one overseas, dealing with the loss of a parent, and finding first love.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Beautifully written. I cried. As an adoptee and survivor of religious trauma, Stefany gets it for us. She understood the assignment. I needed this book so bad as a teen, this book healed that part of me that was searching for someone to understand what I was going through.

Thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Group/Penguin Young Readers Group for access to this title. All opinions expressed are my own.

A debut novel, our story begins with our main protagonist, Catie Carlson, her stepsister, and her stepmother having to move from their comfy home in San Diego to relatives in Utah. Her father died two years ago and Catie is left wondering who will answer her questions about her Taiwanese heritage and her biological mother. A woman that she hasn't seen since she was 5 years old.

Adjusting to life under her aunt and uncle's strict Mormon household is a struggle but when Catie meets co-worker, Toby, who tutors students to learn Mandarin, Catie feels that she just might be able to grasp a little more of who she is meant to be. Unfortunately, she cannot pay for the lessons. Still, recognizing that Toby has some unrequited love problems, Catie decides that in exchange for learning a language, she will be his love guru. It promises to be an unforgettable summer.

Oh, I enjoyed this YA fictional story. There was something about Catie that made her difficult to not fall in love with and cheer along the way. I liked the sister relationship between Catie and her stepsister who also had difficulties fitting in especially as her Mormon side(except her mother and Catie's father) of the family didn't seem to be accepting of her being gay. There are also some terrific conversations about grief and its long-lasting impacts on a family. All of this made for a good read.

Oh, that cover is delicious!




Publication Date 14/01/25
Goodreads Review 22/01/25
#FirstLoveLanguage #NetGalley.

Absolutely stunning! This debut is poignant, personal, and beautifully written. The level of detail within the story is indispensable and heightens the reading experience. I felt like I was right next to Catie throughout the events of the book. At the beginning, the romance setup was a little cheesy. The idea of “fake” or practice dates felt a little forced or unrealistic, but overall a minimal issue within the bigger storyline. Readers who love romance and classic tropes will be able to overlook this easily. I would have loved for this story to be longer! I wanted to know more about Catie’s journey rediscovering her heritage and learning about her family. I was also invested in reading more about Mavis, Alex, and Rayleigh (and all their individual journeys).

first, a moment of silence for the cover, because this is truly a work of art.

i am soo in love with every single aspect of this book. from the writing, to the characters, to the romance, to adoptee representation, everything. there was so many different things that were represented in this book that made me remember why i love reading. it's to be transported into another world yes, but it's also to learn about different aspects of life and how diverse our world is. catie, our main character, is an adoptee and this whole book is her learning more about her bio family and culture; essentially finding more about her identity. reading about her journey and all the complex things she goes through was so beautifully put. it's also shown how she has PTSD from learning english as a child and ugh everything thats written in this book is done so amazingly. i truly loved seeing the representation of everything.

i absolutely ADORED her relationship with toby, it was soooooo wholesome!! he is such a cutie little ball of sunshine and all the practice dates they go on, and how he taught her mandarin, ahh they drove me insaneee i need a toby so bad. i loved how she was able to be herself around him, soo cute.

while i may not be taiwanese or an adoptee, there were other aspects of catie then i related to such as being an older sister and some of the struggles she went through. thats a thing the author does really well, is that she makes her characters relatable on some on the other aspect.

overall, i had such a good time reading about catie's journey, this was SUCH a good read!! can't wait to read more from this author :)

First Love Language by Stefany Valentine is such a beautiful and heartfelt contemporary YA novel.
This phenomenal YA romance was so much more than a story of love! It was about family, heritage and culture.
I devoured this beautifully written story.

This book is a great example as to why we need more diversity in books! I loved seeing an adoptee try to get back to their roots in a world that has left them unmoored. To learn this was inspired by the author's own experience made it that much more important.

Catie's parents divorced when she was a child and her father has since passed away. Her stepmom, and adopted mother, moves them out to Utah after losing her job and their apartment. With all this change, Catie is curious about opening the door to her past - except, what if there are no more doors available to her?

I found Catie's experience and narrative so enlightening and eye-opening. She delves into her feelings of belonging with her family, but still wanting to be grounded by her roots. I liked her venture into relearning Mandarin, talks of PTSD around learning English as a child, and her feelings around religion and both her blood and adopted families. This book found many ways to show how one might be able to get plugged back into their roots - through language, through family, and even through genealogy reports at a Mormon church. I loved that it was not just a fictional love story, but also a bit of a manual for those who might be in the same position as the author and Catie were.

Toby is such a sweet summer child, and I adored his kind heart and enthusiasm. I loved his character and appreciated the ways him and Catie fit together as they became friends. Her felt very real and multifaceted and I appreciated learning from him too.

I feel like Catie's relationship with everyone other than Toby was a little bit sparse, and though I loved how her sister and cousin really for her, I feel like we never got to know them that well, which felt like a missed opportunity to dig into some of the other things the book touched on.

All in all, this book was a deep dive into the world and feelings of an adoptee and I loved learning with Catie throughout the story. Her voice felt so real, and young, and I wonder if there's space to see more about her in the future, just saying!

TW: micro-aggressions, religious bigotry, religious trauma, grief; mentions death of a parent, death of a sibling, homophobia, lesbophobia

Plot: 5/5
Characters: 4/5
World Building: 5/5
Writing: 4.5/5
Pacing: 4/5
Overall: 4.5/5

Finished copy gifted via Colored Pages Book Tours by Penguin Teen in exchange for an honest review.

This is such a beautiful and heartfelt story about a girl struggling with her identity, her culture & her first language. It is such an empowering journey of her finding out about her biological mother’s life & family, rediscovering and relearning her first language (Mandarin) & learning to fit in with people who look like her.

I loveeeee Toby. I love how he accepted Catie, how he taught her Mandarin, how she was able to just be herself around him (of course I was rooting for them the entire book!!)

This is such an amazing book and I’m so happy I had the opportunity to read it! I really enjoyed it & though I’m not Taiwanese, there were a lot of parts I really related to as a POC.

“Do you ever miss something you’ve never had?”

Some books cross your path when you most need them. First Love Language” was one of these for me. I don’t think I can find something I didn’t like in this book.
The writing is smooth, delicate, graceful. It kindled some images in my mind that reminded me of Sophia Coppola’s Virgin Suicides adaptation (even though the story isn’t as tragic, at all). I loved Catie’s journey to (re)discover her identity, while helping herself to grief, how she needs that but is also full of guilt (regarding her adoptive mother), and regrets (regarding her dad she won’t ever be able to talk to again). Even though my own personal situation is closer to her sister’s, Catie’s questioning echoed a lot in me. I wish I had her courage and determination. I sobbed, shed more tears that I can count –or admit. I admire this character who keeps going, despite her feelings of emptiness, her doubts, her apprehensions. How Catie (re)learn her mother language and how it makes her memories resurface and brings her the first threads of her identity were particularly beautiful moments in the book, as much as was her relationship with Toby.
The way the LGBT+ relationships are pictured in that very conservative community, and how these teens create their very own circle, were also some highlights of the book.
I honestly can’t put into words how much this story impacted me, created all kinds of feelings in me. I’m not a teen anymore (it’s been a long time), but once again I’ve read a YA book I wish I'd read in highschool.

Thank you ColoredPages, PenguinTeen and Stephany Valentine for the eARC. My opinions are my own.

Rating: 4.25 stars

I am kicking myself that it took me so long to read this story, because it was such a beautiful, heartfelt debut novel.

First Love Language isn’t just a contemporary YA romance. It is a story about a Taiwanese adoptee who is reconnecting with her heritage, and falling in love again with the culture and language that connects her to her biological mother. I loved how the author wrote our main character, Catie’s experience. The desire of wanting to find and learn more about her biological mother, but also not wanting to hurt her adoptive mother, was written in a way that was very thoughtful, realistic, and relatable. I really enjoyed this storyline and the relationship she has with her adoptive mother. However, I did wish we could have learned a little bit more about Catie’s childhood in Taiwan. I also really love the LGBTQ+ representation, and the community that was formed to make a safe environment for certain characters to explore their sexuality and embrace their identity. As for the romance, I really enjoyed the growth of Catie and Toby’s relationship from friendship to something more. I loved how they learned from each other and shared personal stories. However, I did feel the conflict was resolved a little too quickly, considering what happened after Toby found out the truth. Although I love a happy ending, I just wanted a little bit more substance from the resolution.

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. Highly recommend if you are looking for an inspirational and heartwarming read.

Thank you Netgalley and Penguin Group/Penguin Young Readers Group for giving me the opportunity to read this ARC. All opinions are my own.

First Love Language is a sweet love story. But it's not just about a romance. It's also about a young girl learning more about herself, her deceased father, and what she wants out of life.

Taiwanese American Catie Carlson has never felt like she fit in with her white family. Her father passed away and she now lives with her stepmother and stepsister. She has never known her Taiwanese mother. Catie longs to learn about her Taiwanese heritage and culture and the chance comes when her new co-worker offers to teach her Mandarin. In exchange, she needs to teach him how to date so he can finally work up the courage to ask out his crush. The only problem is that Catie doesn’t actually have any dating experience. But she can fake it. Using her father's old copy of The Five Love Languages, Catie takes Toby on practice dates, coaching him all along the way. But the more time Catie spends with Toby, and the more she learns about her biological mother from her dad's notes in the book, the more she realizes love isn't as black and white as she thought.

This was a fantastic book. Stefany Valentine paints us a beautiful picture of what it means to feel like you don't belong, what love really is, and how we can all learn to feel accepted and fit in. The characters are very strong and have great character arcs. The story is relatable and believable.

thank you so much to colored pages blog tours and penguin teen for the free copy! all opinions are my own!

i don't know even how to start because i wasn't expecting this at all. the adoptee situation and how hard it can be for some people, the complicated sister relationship, grief of losing someone you never knew, the pressure religion can put on someone, wanting to reconnect with a past that you didn't knew it existed... it was too much but at the same time it was handled so amazingly i have to hug this book and the author. even she explained it in her letter at the end of the book, which made me appreciate it even more. the side characters were super cool and i love how the diversity was included little by little, something that can even happen in real life. the MC was so beatiful and cute and adorable i want him to teach me Mandarin, too.
tbh it was such a good book and a really solid debut. even tho it was such a short book, it didn't feel like one and i enjoyed it from start to finish (insert many heart emojis here)

4 stars. Valentine wrote something really unique with First Love Language. I've never read a YA book that truly encapsulates (I imagine) what it must be like to be 1) adopted and 2) longing to reconnect with your birth culture. But Valentine really nailed those feelings. And amongst all of the struggle to fit in, she also delivered a tremendously sweet romance. Basically, Catie meets Toby when she applies for a job at his parents' salon. Catie is trying to reconnect with her birth culture, and Toby happens to speak Mandarin. The thing is, Toby is is terrible at interacting with girls, and for some reason, things Catie has a boyfriend-- making her a love expert. They decide to exchange language lessons for love lessons. The only problem.... Catie's not really an expert in love either. I loved everything about this book, except for the miscommunication. That's by far, my least favorite trope, and I always get frustrated the longer the miscommunication (whether it be accidental, or purposeful) goes on. And while I did find that annoying in First Love Language, I also understood it. Because I could totally understand how a 17 year old girl could accidentally end up in over their head, and struggle to find the right solution. So although it was frustrating, it also made things feel authentic. If you're into sweet YA romances about first love that deal with deep and important topics, then I absolutely recommend First Love Language. I think Valentine truly accomplished everything she set out to with this one.

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Valentine and Penguin Teen for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

First Love Language by Stefany Valentine introduces readers to Catie Carlson, who is a Taiwanese American navigating moving to a new city, starting a new job, and reconnecting with her Taiwanese heritage. Oh, and she's pretending to be a love coach to the guy she ends up crushing on. What could go wrong? Playing off of the "five love languages," Valentine crafts a book about first loves and belonging.

Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for sharing this book with me.

Catie is an adopted Taiwanese girl who is searching to reconnect with her own culture but being moved into a Mormon household and trying to help her new coworker learn how to woo his crush while also falling for him (and lying about having a boyfriend) is definitely going to turn her life upside down. Catie Carlson was adopted by her white stepmom and both after her father's death she's been trying to learn more about her own Taiwanese mother who left her. Catie wants to find her biological mom and discover more about her own culture, but it's a bit hard to do when her stepmom has moved her and her stepsister into their aunt's very Mormon household. Catie gets a new job at a spa where she meets her very cute coworker, Toby. Toby offers to teach Catie Mandarin and in exchange she can teach him how to date so he can finally ask his crush out (only because he mistakenly thought she has a boyfriend). Catie wants to learn Mandarin and she doesn't know the first thing about dating since she's single herself... but she's desperate and if using her father's copy of The Five Love Languages filled with his own notes, she can definitely pull off this lie. But the closer she gets to Toby the more she's beginning to fall for him... and the harder it gets to try and tell him the truth. As she gets used to her new house and further along with her search for her own culture, Catie begins to learn more about her own family and what it means to be a transracial adoptee. This was a sweet story about finding your place and chasing your heart. Catie is desperate to find herself and understand her own culture while trying to find acceptance in her family. Being bi-racial and trying to fit in with a completely different group of people can be difficult. Catie yearns for acceptance and love and as she grows and opens herself up, she discovers her own strength and community. It's a touching coming of age story with a soft romance at the center of it.

Release Date: January 14,2025

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers Group | Penguin Workshop for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

After reading a dark dystopian and a horror, this story is exactly what I needed in my life.

This light, sweet ya romance was much more than just a romance. We followed Catie as she went on a journey to find out more about her true self. With Caitie looking for her biological family, learning a language to connect with her culture, working at the salon and teaching Toby about the 5 love languages so he can ask his crush out, theres just enough going on throughout the story to keep you continuously hanging on for more. I loved her super supportive family, and I loved the lgbtq+ representation.

If you are looking for a sweet light read with minimal drama and conflict but a plethora of life lessons and cute, slightly awkward moments, this one is for you.

What a beautiful cover!! Those colors are gorgeous.

This is such an absolutely incredible and beautiful read - the love story is absolutely heartfelt. I love the representation in this book and how it teaches you to really embrace your cultural heritage. I was completely just in love with the refreshing content and the love story? So precious!

I loved the focus on love languages and the originality of using those languages to "teach" Toby how to date! I also loved the language learning and just the overall story. I also absolutely loved the side characters dearly as they added so much more to this beautiful story. This would be an absolutely perfect book for a teen to read, with friends for discussion purposes!

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group for this e-arc in exchange for my honest thoughts.

Catie, who was born in Taiwan to a Taiwanese mom and Mormon dad, temporarily leaves California for Utah the summer before her senior year in high school with her adopted mom and sister. In Utah, they move in with Mormon relatives and look for jobs. Catie ends up working at a hair salon where she becomes friends with the owners' Korean-Chinese-Black son who goes to college in Taiwan. Although there is a lot going on in this book (probably too much), this is a teen romance that had me cheering for all the characters in the book. Teens who want a mostly happy read that still tackles important issues should like this one.

Thank you to Penguin Group Penguin Young Readers for providing this ARC for an honest review via netgalley.

This read was definitely not the writing style I normally choose but it still held my attention. The book contains a lot of personal and societal issues that some readers may be able to relate to. I’d recommend this read to someone who may be having difficulty with feelings of rejection, particularly by society (or even internal conflict). The story has a lot to do with finding ones’ self (self discovery) and learning how to be your authentic self. *Fake dating trope.