Tori Hope Peterson's book, Breaking the Patterns That Break You is an encouraging look at healing and how we are loved by God. Told through the lens of the author's personal story, which does include a lot of trauma, this book can be hard to read at times but also reflects the author's deep faith and hope in God which provides a lightness we otherwise wouldn't receive. This book blends scripture, psychology/therapeutic concepts, and Scripture.

The best part of this book was how the author challenged me to consider various lies I've believed about healing in my life - lies about closure, vulnerability, time, and feelings (to name a few that were most impactful for me) and then try to reframe them in my life. I didn't necessarily agree with all of what she says but I always think a new perspective can be considered and we can grow whether or not we agree with everything an author states. I do think that this book struggled a bit based on the age of the author. Though she is wise, she is young, and some of her examples may fall flat for an older audience...but maybe the target audience is younger than myself. I also appreciated the scripture references but felt some were taken out of context and/or emphasized parts of the story I hadn't considered before. Again, this could be something for me to grow in but it could also be an age thing.

Regardless, I did appreciate this book and highlighted quite a bit. I'm sure I will revisit it in the future. I will have to check out the author's first book next! 3.5 stars rounded down

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for this eARC. All opinions are my own.

I'm not sure this book knows exactly what it's trying to be... the format and flow didn't work, in my opinion, and I kept wondering "what point is actually being made here?" By trying to stretch into multiple spaces -- memoir, self-help, with "therapeutic insights" from someone who isn't a therapist -- it lacked clarity.

This book sits in an odd space between memoir, self-help, and Christian devotion—and while it has moments of genuine insight, it may not be what readers expect based on the title or cover.

What's good: Petersen’s personal story—especially her experiences with foster care and overcoming trauma—is often moving. I haven't read her first book, but it sounds like that one dealt even more with Petersen's past. The discussions of boundaries, self-worth, and breaking generational cycles are also needed, especially in religious communities. And for Christian readers, the biblical framing (e.g., leaning on God’s love for healing) may feel affirming and hopeful.

But I requested this book based on the description, title, and cover, and was fairly blindsided by the actual content. It takes a misconception like "Self-love is selfish" and then Peterson shares some personal anecdotes (and she is young, so a lot of these are kind of low-stakes, like a conversation she had at a part-time job in college several years ago), and then shoe-horns in some scriptures and thoughts about God's love. As someone harmed by a faith-based community, this just was not for me.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

This is a great book #2 for Tori Hope Petersen. This one really reflects her growth and healing. If you read Fostered or follow her online, you’ll appreciate this book but neither of those are prerequisites.

A Must-Read for Anyone Healing from Trauma

As someone who has survived significant childhood trauma, Breaking the Patterns That Break You hit home in so many ways. Tori Hope Petersen shares her story with vulnerability, weaving in biblical truth and therapeutic insights that serve as both new revelations and powerful reminders. Even though I’ve already been on a healing journey with the help of a therapist, this book offered fresh perspectives and encouragement—especially in understanding what God truly thinks of me.

I found myself highlighting so many nuggets of wisdom on my Kindle that I’ll be returning to often. If you’ve experienced trauma—whether in childhood or later in life—this book is a must-read. Healing happens one day at a time, and Petersen’s words bring both truth and hope to the process.

Thank you, NetGalley, for this advanced reader copy. Now that the book is in print, I highly recommend adding it to your reading list—especially if you need to hear God’s truth spoken through Tori.

This book is takes us through the author’s personal trauma and path to healing and moving forward. I love how this author connected with me. I appreciate how the author wrote about herself in a way that brought understanding to my own personal struggles Great book!

Tori Hope Petersen really nailed it with this one. The only complaint I had was the ARC was not formatted correctly for me to read on my Kindle. However, the content was everything that I didn't know that I needed. This book made me feel so seen and helped remind me that no one is perfect and everyone has their own struggles. But no matter what God still sees us, hears us, and knows our hearts.

I really was looking forward to this book after reading her first book. I got so much out of that one. I also really appreciated this book and her perspective coming from the foster care system. I liked her connecting things to scripture and her explanations. I did get a little confused at first with her using Love for God.

A great personal account through the author’s reflection and healing process in her life that I believe are deep and helpful. Topics of abuse, foster care, achievement based worth, trauma are a few mentioned.

I didn’t realize it is a Christian perspective. A great surprise for me.

2.5 stars. I thought this book had overall good self help points about how to love yourself again after being hurt, but this felt more like an autobiography to me.

Overall, the book was well written and I did really enjoy it. Thank you for this advance reading copy!

Reading Breaking the Patterns that Break You from Tory Hope Peterson and seeing what she has overcome, as she shares her story, is inspiring. She did a great job of using God’s Word to help her overcome the issues she dealt with some, which were out of her control and some as a result of misunderstanding or as a result of her past. I was hoping there would be more about dealing with different patterns, but this book will be especially helpful to those who have been mistreated by family and/or been in the foster care system. She also shares a great deal on the misconceptions and misunderstandings in healing. Personally, I see and hear a lot of what she was sharing. This is definitely something that needs to be addressed, and she did a wonderful job of pointing those out with Biblical information because she dealt with it personally.

She shares that healing is a lifetime process, which is so true. It isn’t something that happens, and you get over it and move on. It is something that needs to be dealt with and understood before complete healing can come. It is a process. Another great piece she learned is that hurt is not something to be ashamed of or uncomfortable with. Often, in our society, we are not taught that. We’re told to buck it up, get over it.

Part of her process was learning what boundaries from a Christian standpoint, using an example of a home. “This is why, like houses, our hearts need a guard. The guard comes from living close to God and building our lives on Him. This doesn’t mean we are not open to others. We are limited human beings whose hearts are not meant to be exposed to all.”

These questions she brought up are helpful to me:
Does love allow a neighbor to be exploited? Does love endorse God’s beloved falling away from Him? Does love remain silent to sin-to things that are hurting another person? How do we guard our hearts without locking our hearts away? How do we protect ourselves while loving vulnerably as we are meant to as Christians?

This all takes discernment, and she goes into that. I do think sometimes we lack that and forget how important it is also to be discerning in our world and with dealing with others.

There was one thing at the beginning of the book that did bother me a little she kept using the word “Love” for God, and I think that can be confusing and misinterpret who God is when we do that. But that is just maybe my personal hangup.

Other than that, this was a good book that I can see being helpful to many out there.

Family patterns are some of the most difficult things to identify & then deal with in a healthy way. Peterson walks the reader through common myths that people will tell you when you've come from a difficult past. She candidly shares parts of her story but always points to the Gospel with each chapter, highlighting how Jesus dealt with hurting people He encountered while here on earth. Whether you have walked through dark days in your past or you are a member of the Body of Christ who is seeking to be better informed about trauma, this is a helpful book.

Breaking the Patterns that Break You was very insightful. Tori uses her past experiences to help shape this book & point your towards scripture & how Christ is the only one who can help do that.
I do wish there had been more scripture use in the first half of the book. I felt the second half had a decent amount but the first was lacking. Overall though, great book. Very helpful to me as a person & as a foster parent.

Oh this book was one I didn't know I needed so badly. With some hard family things going on, and needing to set boundaries, this book was absolutely phenomenal to help lay that out for me. It was so wonderfully put together to make sense of such a deep topic. Absolutely wonderful.

The contents of this book is inspirational. I almost didn't read it as the proof copy had very distracting formatting. Pray that many will seek God and know his love after reading this book. I was encouraged to look back on my own journey to see how much God has changed in my life as I surrendered to him. And encouraged then to keep going on my journey of healing that feels so incomplete right now.