Spice Level: 1/5 Open / Closed Door

Yardley Whitmer, aka “The Unicorn,” is a CIA agent who has as many accents as she does wigs to provide cover. As successful as she has been in her “spy” career, she has equally failed in her personal life.

KC Nolan, aka “Tobasco,” is a CIA hacker AND tech guru who moonlights as a coder / developer. Just like Yardley, she has been successful in her “spy” career, but has equally failed in her personal life.

Another thing they have in common is that they have no idea what each other’s day job is and their secrets are what’s causing their relationship failures, even though they do have love for each other. Chance would have it that KC puts herself on the line to save Yardley from a sticky situation. Only, they learn at that time that they’ve been working together in the CIA. This dangerous situation leads to them trekking around Europe trying to stop a computer virus that could wreck a lot of infrastructure.

I “read” this as an audiobook. I definitely want to give credit to the narrator, Mia Hutchison-Shaw for the voicework on this audiobook. While reading, she swapped between different accents for the characters. Managing one, I imagine, is difficult enough, but at least 3 and sometimes two during one scene. Massive credit!!

The premise of the story was intriguing for me as I hadn’t come across many spy type books in the sapphic genre. That really gravitated me towards this story. I enjoyed the twists and turns that this book provided. I also really enjoyed the way that Yardley and KC were able to discover the love that they once held (and still do) for each other while trying to stop the havoc.

Thank you to @netgalley and @stmartinspress for a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. And thank you to @macmillan.audio for a free download of the audiobook.

If I Told You, I’d Have to Kiss You has such a fun and promising premise—sapphic spies, secret identities, and a mission gone sideways? I was immediately intrigued by the concept, the title, and the vibrant cover.

Unfortunately, the execution didn’t quite live up to its potential. While the setup was exciting, I struggled to connect with Yardley and KC. Both characters felt a bit underdeveloped, and I found myself wanting more depth and emotional nuance from their relationship. I also think the story might have benefited from alternating first-person perspectives to bring us closer to each character’s inner world—third-person narration created a bit of distance that made it harder to fully engage.

That said, Mia Hutchison-Shaw’s narration in the audiobook was a highlight. Her performance added warmth and personality to the story, and I’d definitely recommend the audio format if you’re curious to give this one a try.

3 stars

#books #bookishlife #booklover #readingisfun #iowabookstagrammers #iowabookstagram #netgalley #stmartinspress #macmillianaudio #ifitoldyouidhavetokissyou #marmarvel #miahutchinsonshaw

Unfortunately I am DNFing this book and will not be able to give a full review. Every reader has different opinions, loves, and hates, and I've discovered reading this book that Yardley as a first name is something that I can't get past. I tried, and unfortunately it just isn't working for me.

I've rated the book 3 stars despite this DNF because the concept is highly intriguing and I believe other readers will find the book enjoyable.

the story was overall good, although the back and forth with the KC and Yardley was a little too much. The action and mission were interesting. This was a cozy spy novel with Ms. and Ms. Smith style adventure and relationship struggles.
Thank you, NetGalley, for the ARC.

“If I Told You, I’d Have to Kiss You” reads like a sapphic Kim Possible re-telling. This fun, action-packed story follows a super-spy and her ex-girlfriend/hacker extraordinaire. The two decided to go their separate ways… only for their secret missions to overlap and for the two to realize they still had a lot to learn about one another.

This one contained a bit too much action and spice for me, making it feel long. It’s a fun plot, but could have been significantly shortened.

Thank you to Mae Marvel, St. Martin’s Press, Macmillan Audio, & NetGalley for the ARC! All opinions are my own.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

I was SLEEPING on this book when I really shouldn't have! It's so good!! This is my first Mae Marvel, but not my last!

This book lives up to it's pitch of sapphic Mr. & Mrs. Smith but honestly, so much more fun. What I really loved about it is how our FMCs were simultaneously breaking up and falling in love with each other through out the book. How incredibly gay, I loved it. This is definitely a slow burn with a lot of tension and build up which was a fun ride to read.

At times, I did get lost in the spy stuff, but I think that's more of a me thing. It didn't take away from the story, which I think speaks to how fun this book is as I was able to just coast on vibes for the spy stuff I was confused about, lol. I did roll my eyes at the name of the Toronto spy mission being called 'Maple Leaf' as of course that's what we're naming a Canadian mission. As a Canadian who lived in Toronto for a decade, it seemed a bit too on the nose and took a bit for me to get past that silly name, but if that's my only qualm, I'm happy!

Read this book if you're looking for some adventure paired with the drama of breaking up and getting back together with your ex. It's cute, it's fun, it's an adventure!

🕶️eARC Book Review🕶️

“I don’t love these moments where your own side is being as big of an asshat as the alleged enemy.”

If I Told You, I’d Have To Kiss You by Mae Marvel
Pub Date: June 10, 2025
Rating: 🌟🌟🌟💫 (3.5/5)
Spice: 🌶️🌶️(2/5)

Summary:
Yardley Whitmer was born to be a spy. But the one problem, she couldn’t tell anyone she was the Unicorn especially her recently ex-girlfriend. KC Nolan is a tech wizard. From a young age she was hacking into systems no one should be able to get into. KC dreamed of making the world better with her hacking. That is until she did something technically illegal and wound up working for the CIA. One problem working tech for the CIA is you can’t tell your recently ex-girlfriend. That is until you both end up working a super secret mission and finally meet in a briefing room.

Review:
I have been obsessed with mystery romances lately and this was so great. I wish we got more lore on yardley and KCs history but over all really enjoyed the story. The twists were mostly unexpected or if predictable they had some details that weren’t. I want Flynns love story next.

I was so happy this was a sapphic love story just in time for pride. I really loved all the side character queerness too!! I honestly recommend this story.

If you like:
- Oceans 8
- Second chance romance
- LGBTQIA
- Found Family

QOTD: What would you want to do for the CIA? Tech, ground control, research, spy, wardrobe?

Thank you to Net Galley and St. Martin’s Griffin for proving me with an eARC of this novel.

#bookstagram #instabook #igreads #bookish #booksta #bookworm #romance #romancebooks #ireadromance #romcomreads #romcombooks #bookreview #bookrecommendations #bookrecommendation #bookrec #netgalley

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this eGalley!
I had really been looking forward to this book. The plot sounded like an A+ idea, but the style was just not for me. The whole thing was written quite blandly. Some parts sounded like they were directly pulled from a dictionary. Other parts had zero tact to them, as in the first chapter it awkwardly interjects that Yardley is a lesbian. Also several of the names were strange and it went on about Tabasco sauce coming from Louisiana far too many times for me. I really wanted to like it, but something about Yardley and KC's love story was just not it for me.

I had high hopes for this spy-themed romance due to the premise and being sold as a "mr and mrs smith" story. While I liked the characters, I didn't feel much of a connection to them and I found the overall spy story confusing. The changing of POVS in the middle of chapters also made it difficult to follow. I wanted to see more of KC and Yardley actually being spies, something that would have made the book more exciting. Unfortunately, this was a mostly forgettable romance.

there's something appealing about the premise of this book. a sapphic spy comedy where two ex-girlfriends discover they've been working for the same secret agency? that should be a recipe for chaos and chemistry. mae marvel commits fully to the concept, pulling from the energy of films like this means war or mr. and mrs. smith, clearly has fun with it. the story is packed with covert missions, european hideouts, and enough lipstick and surveillance gear to make any reader lean in.

yardley whitmer, code name "the unicorn," is a second-generation superspy with society-girl poise and a steel spine. she's legendary at the agency, but less successful at home, where her relationship with her hacker girlfriend kc nolan has fallen apart under the weight of too many lies. what yardley doesn't know is that kc - known in the field as "tabasco" - has also been working for the agency all along. when an operation goes sideways, their paths collide and all the secrets come spilling out. now they're stuck working together, pretending they're over each other while trying not to blow the mission or their hearts.

that setup had so much potential. i was ready for messiness, repressed feelings, and enemies-to-lovers energy between two women who never truly stopped loving each other. unfortunately, the execution didn't quite deliver for me. the emotional connection between yardley and kc never felt real to me. we're told there's history, attraction, resentment, desire, but i didn't feel it on the page. the tension stays surface-level, and the romantic beats are rushed or underdeveloped. there are glimmers of something more, especially in moments when their past brushes up against the present, but it never deepens in a satisfying way.

another major hurdle was the pacing. the book is too long for the story it's telling. much of the middle blurs together with repetitive mission scenes and expository moments that don't drive the characters forward. while the spy world is fleshed out and inventive, it often pulls attention away from the romance instead of enhancing it. i kept waiting for the book to settle into a rhythm where the action and the relationship would push against each other in meaningful ways, but it never quite clicked.

what works in film doesn't always work on the page, and i think that's the root of this book’s unevenness for me. in a movie, you can coast on charisma and spectacle. in a novel, you need emotional depth to carry the tension, and that's where this story felt thin. i admire the ambition and i'm always happy to see bold, queer concepts get center stage. but for me, the romance didn't land, and the spy plot, while fun, wasn't strong enough to carry the book on its own.

i really do think this book will resonate with people that primarily read romance. this wasn't a bad read, just not one that lingered with me. the concept is a standout, but the delivery was too uneven to fully enjoy.

Unable to complete this book, the monologue was confusing to follow and went very back and forth. I wish I had more interesting things to say as it was an ARC review however, I just do not have anything good to say regarding it.

If I Told You, I’d Have to Kiss You is another satisfying sapphic romance from Mae Marvel. KC and Yardley are over. They can’t get past the problems in their relationship- from traveling for work, keeping secrets, and being closed off. When they realize they are both spies and that is the reason for many of their issues, can their relationship be salvaged? They’ll have to save the world first.

I loved this! It’s a fun and lighthearted sapphic romance. I loved when KC and Yardley realized their real identities as spies. KC and Yardley both care deeply about what they do and are the best in their field. KC had a lot to deal with, as she created tech that could be used for evil. In terms of pacing, I wish they had been able to reconnect a little sooner because the second-chance romance started to feel too bittersweet. The balance faltered at times between the romance and the quest to save the world, but I still enjoyed it. This book has great side characters and I loved when they finally decided to choose each other.

Readers who love spy shenanigans, sapphic romance, and second-chance romance will enjoy this book.

Thank you to Mae Marvel, St. Martin’s Griffin, and NetGalley for a free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

For publisher: My review will be posted on Goodreads, Amazon, Storygraph, and Barnes & Noble etc.

A sapphic spy rom-com that follows Yardley Whitmer—Southern debutante, socialite, and elite secret agent. She’s smart, stylish, and lethal in heels. What she’s not prepared for? Running into her ex-girlfriend, KC Nolan, on a mission.

KC, a brilliant hacker, also works for the same spy agency—something she never told Yardley during their relationship. When a mission forces them to team up, secrets surface, sparks fly, and they have to figure out if love can survive betray and and bullets.

Set against a backdrop of high-stakes espionage, international adventures, and romantic tension, this book delivers a fun, fast-paced story with a second chance lesbian romance at its center.

This book has some great tropes:
🩷 Second Chance Romance
🩷 Forced Proximity
🩷 opposites attract
🩷 Banter & Wit

I had so much fun reading this book! The romance and action were perfectly balanced, and the chemistry between the two main characters was on point. 😍

There was so much delicious tension—every time they tried to talk (or more 😉), something would interrupt them, which kept me totally hooked. I’ve never read a spy romance quite like this before, and I loved the fresh take. It was funny, fast-paced, and full of high-steaks moments.

If you’re into sapphic romance with secret agents, second chances, and plenty of banter, this one’s a must-read! 💋🕶️

Thank you to SMP Romance for the free book and to Macmillan Audio for the complimentary audiobook. These opinions are my own.

I can't even tell you how much I adored this amazing sapphic spy story. Parts are reminiscent of Mr. And Mrs. Smith. But this is so much better. I actually found the set up for the beginning completely believable, in their special spy world. And I loved all the action and adventure throughout the book.

With code names of Unicorn and Tabasco, what else could I possibly want? We have two phenomenal heroines who both take charge in their own ways. Yardley is a master spy, and KC is a phenom hacker and coder. And they have such chemistry together.

There's secrets and mysteries and so much fun. I found this novel absolutely delightful. I never wanted it to end and would love more in this world. I'm officially here for all sapphic spy romances ever.

Mia Hutchinson-Shaw narrated the audiobook perfectly. Somehow, she managed to pull off that trick of letting you know exactly which character was speaking even as the character was disguised as someone else. So impressive!

This book was so much fun! As a huge fan of shows like Alias and Covert Affairs, I was so excited to read a spy romance. We find out (before they do) that the main characters, Yardley and KC are both CIA agents, but neither of the other knows. Instead they are in the process of breaking up, because the secrets they have been keeping from each other have ruined their relationship. The story starts out on a mission with Yardley and we are immediately dropped into the CIA spy world. After KC and Yardley discover that they are both working for the agency, they have to quickly come to terms with the fact that they've both been lying. A lot. Then they have to move on, because they have some world saving to do.

The narrative is told from both of their points of view, which adds a lot of depth to the romance, because you can see them both yearning for each other the entire time, but not knowing how, or if, they can fix their relationship. I've never read a spy romance, and even though the stakes were pretty high, the writing style gave the story more of a caper feel than an apocalypse feel. Since I'm reading for escapism these days, this book was perfectly on point for me.

As for the romance, it was really well written. The fun Ms. Spy and Ms. Spy plot in no way detracted from the very real way their love came through. The breakup, feelings, breakthroughs and work needed for the HEA were all fleshed out really well, and, also Yardley and KC are just the SWEETEST together. I loved the book. Thanks to St. Martins Press and Netgalley for the digital ARC. I recommend it for anyone who loves capers or romance!

If i told you, i’d have to kiss you is a contemporary sapphic romance. It can be described as Ms. and Ms. Smith meets Pairing. It follows two women who are spies for the CIA. This was fun but the characters felt flat at times. The middle of the book dragged quite a lot.
Thanks to St. Martin's Griffin and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC.

This was so cute and so deliciously sapphic.

These ladies thought about each other and communicated with each other like women which is something that surprisingly doesn't always happen in sapphic stories. But I was super grateful that this wasn't just a traditional (i.e. hetero-coded) stories that have to have two female live interests.

The you plot was also fun and interesting though I was in no way surprised by any of the outcomes or 'mysteries' in the spy plot. However, I was perplexed with how preoccupied the characters were with themselves and their relationship (and sex) when there was world saving to do. But I could also see how a spy might start to desensitize to that sorry of thing if that was literally their day job. On they other hand, the fact that KC was supposed to be new to actually field work, despite being trained, kinda hurts that explanation a little.

I also think if this was a straight romance, I might have taken issue with the fact that both the MCs just so happen to be incredible pays, the best in the world, even in their first missions ever. But the speech in the situation room with the President about queer inclusion, as cheesy as it was, kinda won me over. In real life, women and queer people are just as normal and flawed as anyone. But doesn't that also mean that they have just as much right to be in the same league as the James Bonds and the Ethan Hunts of the world?

Also, the side characters in this book are great. I maybe only wish there were one or two less of them so we could focus on the remaining ones a little bit more.

I recommend this book to anyone looking for a fun own voices sapphic room with plenty of emotional processing and a hugs worth of found family.

The story follows Yardley “the Unicorn” Whitmer, a legendary second-generation spy who balances charm and skill with ease, and KC “Tabasco” Nolan, a hacker who can crack any system—except how to tell Yardley about her real job. Unbeknownst to each other, they’ve both been working for the same covert agency while secretly dating. When an undercover mission goes sideways, their true identities are revealed, forcing them into an uneasy partnership as they crisscross Europe trying to complete their mission—and decide if their relationship can survive all the lies.

I went into this excited for a sapphic Mr. & Mrs. Smith story, which this technically was: two spies in a relationship, secrets, betrayal, and forced partnership. But despite that promising setup, the execution really let me down. First off, I just couldn’t get past the code names—“The Unicorn” and “Tabasco”? Every time they came up, it pulled me out of the story and made the whole thing feel silly rather than high-stakes or thrilling.

Beyond that, the chemistry between Yardley and KC was lacking. I was expecting tension, sparks, mistrust turning into heat—the things that make this trope work—but their dynamic felt flat and underdeveloped. The emotional fallout of them lying to each other for years was brushed over way too easily.

The writing itself also felt choppy at times, which made the pacing uneven. Scenes didn’t flow smoothly, and the dialogue often felt stiff or forced. Honestly, I only finished the book so quickly because I just wanted to be done with it.

A great concept on paper, but the delivery didn’t live up to the potential.

Thank you St. Martin Press and Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest opinion.

Did not finish book. Stopped at 50%.
The premise of this one sounded so fun sapphic spies! But unfortunately just wasn't fun. I liked the first 10-15% when there was tension and banter but then I just got so bored and nothing was really happening. I couldn't really follow what the spy mission was and I didn't really care anyway. I wanted more tension and romantic drama with spy stuff just as background. I decided I could probably just guess the ending so didn't really feel the need to keep reading.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

Starting with the best part of this book: all of the characters were very likeable. KC and Yardley have a really sweet and fairly low-stakes romance with a happy ending.

I really liked the "Ms. and Ms. Smith" concept, especially the first few chapters (they're both very talented spies and they're working together but they don't know it!) but the rest of the plot didn't really work for me. Despite being a spy novel, a lot of the plot is pretty tedious. The villain is set up from the beginning with little motivation and most of the missions KC and Yardley go on are really just to take us to the next relationship conversation. KC and Yardley are also broken up for essentially the entire book, but it's clear that they're also still together so there's not even a ton of relationship tension.

I found the repeated discussion of patriotism really off-putting, especially the "we can fix it from the inside" discussion near the end where the characters share platitudes about caring for others but don't even imply that any action will be taken to prevent misuse of government power. I honestly don't understand why KC was on the CIA's side at all given her backstory (I was holding out for some sort of crazy twist related to this but it never happened)!!

Overall, this story had a really promising premise that fell flat for me.