Unfortunately, despite this having a fabulous concept, it didn't land for me. I found the pacing off, the plot repetitive, and the characters unlikeable. Their continuous break-ups left me feeling like I was reading about characters that were a lot younger, with so much chemistry lacking between them. Overall, not a strong read, but I think this will be an entertaining one for the right audience.

This review was originally posted on Books of My Heart


Review copy was received from NetGalley. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

I'm a long time fan of this author for their exceptional wordcraft. The word choices evoke senses and emotions. It's a sensory feast to read their stories.

If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You is a F/F romance. It is a stand alone in a group of standalones in this genre. The descriptions of each woman about the other is so brilliant and caring. They see each other's best selves even if they aren't getting along. They have to work to allow themselves to be vulnerable with each other.

Yardley and KC are both in the CIA but unable to tell anyone, including each other. They've worked together remotely from each other. But now they are thrown together at a point when their personal relationship is struggling because they can't share so much about work. They have lived together for three years. Luckily, they are both excellent at their work. They also have amazing co-workers who are gay and/or supportive.

KC has been kept isolated, working on hacker computer things, but now he is missing. A project she made with a friend from her teen years is now being looked at as a weapon. Her handler has been missing since an op in Toronto was used to weaponize her code.

Yardley and the rest of the team work with her to find her friend and get the coding back. It's exciting and dangerous. As they face new challenges while being worried for each other. They find an ability to speak honestly as they haven't been able to do in the past.

4⭐️

**Thank you St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the eARC**

Hardly is a CIA agent working to get her hands on a dangerous piece of tech. KC is her newly ex-girlfriend and tech genius. What they don’t know is they both work undercover for the CIA. Until the mission goes sideways and they are forced to confront the mission and their relationship.

This was a fun and interesting read. Good romance vibes, a little spice, and fun secret agent scenes. There’s a big action chapter toward the middle of the book that I sped through because it was just so exciting! There is also great LGBTQIA+ representation that felt so natural. Love a good diverse book. A good read!

So not Mr and Mrs Smith but that doesn't mean this sapphic romance doesn't go all in on a love-hate relationship between Yardley and KC. Know that the spy thing is unrealistic and over the top and that they argue a lot. That arguing however is often funny, Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. While this wasn't for me,, it's one I'm sure others will enjoy.

i could not get into this one. ive tried three times and this book just didn't do it for me. i might give it another try though i was highly anticipating it.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc and alc.

Unfortunately this book was not for me. I don"t think it was a bad book at all. However i had a hard time connecting with the plot and the characters. This is one I may try again in the future to see if I like better, but it is a no for now.

Thank you Netgalley SMP and MacMillan audio for the free ALC and e-arc. My opinions are being left voluntarily. This is my first by this author and love that the most of the locations are very familiar to me. It's rare for books to be set in Toronto and throughout Canada. I felt the narration wad done well however I don't think the story was as clear as the author intended. This would likely be best adapted as it sounds like a great one to see this play out on screen.

3.5/5☆

What a solid book. I like spies and I like sapphic romances so this was right up my alley. I enjoyed the intrigue, the setups, the saves. I thought the book was a great mix of action, adventure, tension, and romance. I thought both the romance plot points and the spy plot points worked really well together - I didn't think one outshone the other. I'm so glad I picked this one up!

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press/St. Martin's Griffin for the ARC!

This was such a fun, fast-paced, sapphic spy thriller romance. Two spies in a relationship and neither knows that the other is a spy? You've got my attention. I personally love those set ups. Then add in that they're also in the middle of breaking up and are thrown together to track down a rogue spy threatening to release a digital virus that could take down a major city. It was so good! The action, the romance, and even the side characters were all great!

Thank you to St. Martin's and NetGalley for the ARC!

Mae Marvel’s If I Told You I’d Have to Kiss You is a good read. For the most part, the spy shenanigans and the romance are well balanced, and the characters are fun. It’s a second chance romance and a spy hunt for a MacGuffin. In the last 20%, when KC and Yardley have officially decided to get back together, the tension slackens when it should ramp up. The MacGuffin hunt for the bad guy is less compelling when separated from the yearning for lost love and fragile hope. But, while imperfect, I enjoyed it. It did contribute to a crisis I’m having, which I’ll get into later.

KC Nolan and Yardley Whitmer are in that uncomfortable part of a breakup where they still share living space, but they are no longer a couple. Yardley is moving out of the house she had shared with KC, but her work trips are slowing things down. KC doesn’t know it, but Yardley is a spy, working for the CIA. Yardley doesn’t know it, but KC is the tech genius that who makes things happen on her mission. The Agency knows they are both spies, but has opted not to tell them. Until KC bursts into Yardley’s mission and oops! They breakup again because now they know the truth. As they work together to acquire the asset, find the MacGuffin, and defang the bad guy, they wrestle with what was real in their relationship. It turns out that the secrecy required by their jobs was a smokescreen for the real problems in their relationship – their fears and insecurities. The process of them falling in love again with their true selves was a true delight. There’s grief, yearning, and a joy in discovery.

I’m afraid that there are a lot of books I’m going to struggle with, or just not read, over the next few years, or maybe from here on. Books that involve the US government being the good guys is going to be a tough read. I ran into this with Scalzi’s most recent book, When the Moon Hits Your Eye. It was very hard to read about a US President listening to and respecting scientists while the current administration was firing scientists, listening to quacks, and gutting funding for science and public health programs. I had to put If I Told You I’d Have to Kiss You firmly into alternate universe fantasy in order to enjoy it. The authors helped (Mae Marvel is Ruthie Knox and Annie Mare) by making homophobia a non-issue and the US President a smart, caring woman). But it’s tough, even in an alternate universe, to accept the US spy agency as mostly good. I would also warn that the inciting incident for the MacGuffin hunt is a terrorist attack on Toronto that was inadvertantly-ish committed by US agents. In light of the current tensions, that was also hard to read. Unfortunately, I am committed to reading at least one more contemporary spy romance this summer.

I did enjoy this and I would read another romance by this writing duo. Maybe not another spy romance while the current administration is wreaking havoc at home and abroad. If that aspect doesn’t bother you, I highly recommend this one.

I received this as an advance reader copy from St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley. My opinions are my own, freely and honestly given.

This is way better than Mr. and Mrs. Smith because they aren’t rivals and there is a depth to their storyline that the movie didn’t have. (Though I do crush on Angelina, but who doesn’t?)
Two spies, Unicorn and Tabasco, keeping secrets from the world and from themselves suddenly find themselves laid bare when on a mission they find out that they are really Yardley and KC - a couple who just broke up due to the secrets they were keeping from each other. This discovery happens in the middle of a critical world ending mission where they need to move forward to save the world when all they really want to do is save their relationship. Can they do both before they end up dead?

Mae Marvel dumps us right into the action in If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You and I was all there for it. I love the action sequences and the drama connected to them. It wasn’t so outlandish that you didn’t believe what was happening on the page, yet it took you out of your head and made you feel like you were driving a tank and having a good time while doing it. The mystery part I have to admit that I figured out right away, but it didn’t take away from the fun of the adventure.

I think my only quibble would be in the formatting of the chapters. I think the locations should stand out more instead of blending into the starting paragraph.

I find Yardley and KC’s dynamic to be fascinating. Where Yardley clearly dominates in the work world of spies. At home, or should I say in the bedroom, KC is definitely the dominant one and Yardley loves it. KC comes off as a geeky nerd, but is actually a two-hundred pound deadlift type of gal. Yes, you can be both 😆 and that’s why this could of so fascinating. They both shift within their personalities and I’m the same. It’s not often that you see characters who embrace both gender social constructs on the page and it’s refreshing. Strong women who dress in any fashion from short dresses to suits and own the look. I just love these two.

There is a diverse cast and this is another thing to love about this book. No big deal or great detail is made of the casting, they just are - just like we are in real life. Freaking love it.

The chemistry between Yardley and KC is hot. When the toy came in…yeah, I sighed a bit. You’ll be bookmarking some sections 😉.

If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You is an action-packed second chance rom-com. I loved it. I want more of it. 😆 It has a little bit of everything. Pack this one in your beach bag!!!

I loved the concept of this book! A sapphic take on Mr and Mrs Smith / James bond but make it queer. I had high hopes going into it and felt pretty let down leaving it!

While i loved the aspect of them being undercover spies and the spy aspect, i feel like at times it felt like there was a clash of too much spy stuff and not enough emotions / chemistry between the characters and then other times it felt like all chemistry and no spy. I think i just wanted it to weave together a bit more seamlessly.

The middle of the book dragged quite a lot for me too and I found myself loosing interest in the book and characters as a whole because I was bored.

I did enjoy the audiobook, and I do think it helped the story overall. I think i probably would have DNFed in the middle if i was just reading the print.

I would still recommend it if you’re wanting a more action packed, fast paced sapphic romance but I do think i’ll probably forget this book in the long run. It was bad but wasn’t good for me either.

This is the cool-fun-action-sequences kind of spy fiction, not the devastating-human-cost-of-intelligence-work kind of spy fiction. I’m ruined for the former, but I still recognize a good example! So if you have not spent the past 8 months masochistically filling your brain with grim nonfiction about the many horrors the United States of America has covertly visited upon the world, or if you’re very good at compartmentalizing and could potentially enjoy a lovely lesbian romance where the characters happen to work for an organization called the Central Intelligence Agency, then this book might be for you! There are many cute moments, plus they go to a lot of fancy galas and kiss to avert suspicion, which I would love if only they worked for a made-up organization (or maybe even a fully made-up country, sob). I think Mae Marvel, the wife-and-wife author duo of Annie Mare and Ruthie Knox, is very talented and look forward to reading some of their other works.

I love me a spy romance, and this one was so fun!

I thought the characters were well-developed, and the plot was intriguing. I kept wanting to pick this one back up and continue the story. There was great plot, fantastic sapphic love, and a little humor.

I've never read a book like this!! I've never read a spy novel or really much of an action or adventure that wasn't fantasy and this was super fun. The relationship was fun and built well it made sense that these two needed to be together. I give a lot of grace to sapphic romances and I always root for the girls to be together but this really didn't need to convince me at all! Definitely recommend

As much as I was excited about this ARC, unfortunately, I decided to draft this book. I got about 20% in and decided it wasn't for me, I loved the idea and maybe I'll revisit it in the future but it's not for me at the moment. I wasn't hooked in the beginning, I think if I revisit it in a few months when out of my slump I will enjoy it more. Though from what I did read I think it would be interesting that despite being together neither of them put together that they were both like super spies for the CIA

Mr. & Mrs Smith but make it Ms. and Ms????? YES PLEASE.

I honestly thought this was a hit. I thought it was funny, fit right in line with the promise of spy-thriller and comedy, all wrapped up in one! Rivals? Yes. In love? Yes. Sapphic? Also yes!! It kind of reminded me also of the Gallagher Girls spy series that I read so many times when I was younger!! All the feels, all the humor and the tension that kept me flipping pages, but not too scared or panicked to not sleep at night haha.

The only part that always gets me in these scenarios is that if spies know everything and have access to literally everything (being in the CIA and all) how do they not know who the other is???? Mind-boggling. But didn't affect my enjoyment of the book one bit. Do yourself a favor, and pick this up!!

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's for this e-arc in exchange for my honest review.

Oh the Mr. & Mrs. Smith style in this book just made this book an absolute classic to read - I've never read anything with that type of an angle and I had a blast reading it. These two characters are absolutely on fire when they are together - the chemistry is electric and the way this book twists and turns keeps you truly riveted through the end! The only thing that was a bit "off' was the pacing - the first half of the book flew by, and then the middle felt repetitive and like it was "too much" followed by a rushed and thrilling ending! That's truly my only complaint but it wouldn't stop me from picking this one up again!!

I was so excited to read this because the premise is so good, but it unfortunately misses a lot in its execution. I tend to really hate comparisons in the summary and this one is one of the most egregious - there's nothing of either The Pairing or Mr. and Mrs. Smith in this, aside from that they're spies and it's kind-of-sort-of-I-guess a second chance romance? The pull of Mr. and Mrs. Smith is them being on opposite sides, which they're not, and the pull of the Pairing is the food, travel, and bet/second-chance romance. KC and Yardley are barely even broken up when they learn each other's identities (a situation that is truly convoluted, along with how they managed to be working for the CIA on similar missions without knowing each other was also working for the CIA), so it's much less a second-chance than keeping the relationship going with the new information.

The whole spy thing also manages to be really uncomfortable, with a really thick layer of patriotism over everything and everyone's reasons for working for the CIA or wanting to be a spy, along with the situations being the most cliche of the Hollywood cliches while trying to convince you they're being grounded and realistic. There was just so much "it's fine, it was all a sacrifice for the country she loved" and it made my skin crawl every time.

The writing is another place where this really suffers, mostly in convoluted similes and dialogue that is working off of a base assumption that everyone's on the same page in terms of humor but instead comes off like tumblr "and then everyone clapped" posts. It just meant I never got to just enjoy the story or the characters and kept getting thrown out of it.

If you inhale espionage, read this book. It's a classic tale of betrayal, world traveling, dire stakes, and getting there just in the nick of time. If you wish your tales of espionage focused on a queer cohort, this will be EXACTLY what you want. No one's queer identity is the focus of this story. Everyone involved is out, partnered, living their life. I think seeing queer humans living their lives is a hugely important thing in story telling right now.

Yardley and KC have buried their relationship underneath their own secrets. Each of them work for the CIA, Yardley as an operative and KC in tech. For "some reason" they were never given permission to reveal their status to the other, even though they live together. Not to go off topic, but a large part of the larger plot in this story is that the systems in place are easy to exploit, and having a diverse group of humans looking as the system is the way to build a better one.

The spy stuff felt compelling, but standard. There's a villain. There's a threat to the world as we know it. The search takes these two all over the world. There are disguises, chases, fights, and failures. All on the path to the end. I don't read a ton of spy stuff, so I can't really judge it. I did enjoy it. While there were many moving pieces, I was able to follow along.

These two women....There was a lot of....angst. Yardley mentions needing a moor with which to properly express her devastation over the demise of her relationship. The angst overshadowed their professionalism. Many a time. It actually made me feel like they weren't as good at their jobs the more I read. Specifically Yardley. She's supposed to be "the Unicorn." She has a stellar reputation, but the minute KC gets involved, she makes rash decisions. She loses her cool. Loses her perspective. (And she and KC banter about how KC is stronger and more fit than Yardley.) It diminishes the skill and accomplishments she has as an operative to me.

It's also a slow burn. I get that. Slow burn makes sense for a relationship that needs to be rebuilt from the ground up, but when they finally give in to each other it's in the middle of a mission. In a public place. It felt so...inappropriate and unprofessional. What the heck! These are two elite operatives. They know better than to f*ck when there are people actively looking for them. Why on earth is that the logical next step?

Overall, this isn't a bad book. It's not poorly written, though the chapters are really long. It felt boring at times, and I continued not to agree with the decisions these two made throughout this mission.