this was an interesting exploration of the author's relationship to her nonnormative body. i didn't feel like there were any mind blowing revelations or particularly new thoughts. i enjoyed the discussion of bodily autonomy, specifically in relationship to her experiences with medical professionals, though those thoughts felt somewhat unfinished. additionally, i felt that though she made strong claims of not caring what others think, she also seemed to be begging for sympathy, understanding, and for the reader to like her, which put me off at points. ultimately, i think i wanted this book to be something it wasn't -- a deeper and more complex exploration of existing in a body under capitalism.

I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin by Carla Sosenko is a story of growing up different than everyone else. She was born with a rare vascular disease, Klippel-Trenunay syndrome, which cause a hump on her back and her legs to be 2 different sizes. She was often told she had a pretty face but had to lose weight.

This condition made dating difficult, because men did not want to dare someone who looked different than everyone else.

When she did find someone, he was emotionally abusive and the relationship ended after a year and a half.

She found her stride in writing and wrote for various magazines throughout her career.

As a woman who is currently single, I can emphatize with the plights of dating in your 30s and beyond.

She also talked about her weight being an issue throughout her life and having recently going on Ozempic.

If you are a woman who struggles with fitting in or have recently felt comfortable in your skin, Id recommend this book.

Real Rating: 2.5* of five

A key insight in one's path to healing is that the painful old way was in fact your own choice, and served a genuine need as you perceived it. Carla has that insight a lot, and tells us each time. I got tired of it when the subject was desiring men's attention, wanting their validation, instead of just being horny.

I'm glad I read it because I needed to be reminded how very easy it is to be casually cruel to Othered people. I'm glad I stopped when I realized we were going to fail the Bechdel test on her inner monologue.

The Dial Press asks $14.95 for an ebook.

This book is sharp funny and unexpectedly moving. It follows Hilton as she deals with grief by diving headfirst into life saying yes to everything from running a funeral home to outrageous new experiences. The voice is bold and unfiltered with moments that made me laugh out loud and others that hit surprisingly hard. If you like messy honest characters and stories about rebuilding after loss this one is worth picking up.

Received an eARC for this book from NetGalley for an honest review, and this just wasn't my cup of tea. Admire Sosenko's efforts to encourage body positivity and inspire confidence among those who often find themselves self-conscious about their unique physical traits. When I'm also reading books about the Palestinian liberation struggle or Ukrainian human rights abuse documentation, I just don't get that excited about self-proclaimed privileged white girls learning lessons from their shopping addictions, or waxing on about expensive tattoos as a way to establish control over their own body. Yes, people should stop being assholes to people who look "different". But, no, you don't need that thousand-dollar dress just because it makes you feel confident--you can do the same thing on a smaller budget.

I wish the book ended around the 75% mark. that was about when I lost all my patience.

I liked the title. I liked the idea. I liked learning about a medical condition I had never heard about. but I cannot stand pretentious platitudes about fashion and shopping addictions and recycled viewpoints on the diet culture and should I stay at summer camp or should I go home. it just did not resonate as strongly as the first part of the book.

thanks to the publisher and netgalley for the e-arc.

An intimate, irreverent memoir about one woman’s experience living with a deformity, and her quest to find freedom and joy in her body.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the Dial Press for this e-arc in exchange for my honest review.

Rating a memoir is something I really struggle with - how do I basically give my numerical rating to someone elses life? Their choices, their decisions, and their truth? I find it really hard so I am just going with a blanket 3 stars - it's great, it's not for everyone, but it is for some.

First things first - I absolutely love this title. I'm fairly certain I cackled when requesting it - I KNOW I cackled when opening it on my kindle! The dark sarcasm matches my personality and honestly? The title alone is what sold me on this book. Being someone that doesn't read blurbs, or well - anything, I really wasn't sure what I was walking into so I was vaguely surprised to see that it was a memoir about Carla's life with a disability. I loved it from that stance alone - however...

A few of the things that really threw me for a loop was the deep dive (seemingly out of nowhere) into fat phobia. The shame talk was brought up often, and it was just really looked at in detail about how our society (as a whole) looks at fat women - was accurate although the anger I felt a bit unprepared for. The dark humor quickly delved into the anger and although I see it from all points (especially as a disabled, fat woman) it really just didn't match the wit or humor I was expecting. But hey, that's justified - it's BAD out here! It's about time someone really tells it like it is. However, I wish it had been less anger and more - what has she faced directly as a result? I would have really enjoyed seeing more of that over just the whole anger towards how fat women are treated.

I also found myself cringing at the talks of privilege - it's one thing to acknowledge that you have it. I think that is wholly the responsible and correct thing to do. However... it felt as though she was apologizing for it and also just continually thinking she didn't have a right to express pain due to her privilege. I saw it from a place of her using it as a way to make herself smaller in order to be more likeable. I really struggle with reading from that perspective - we shouldn't have to apologize or belittle ourselves in order to be liked. It hurts that commonly that is how women respond. You don't have to be liked by everyone, in fact - let's go ahead and find a way to accept.that not a single one of us will be. You don't have to be skinny to have worth. You don't have to be and appear "fine" to have worth. It's hard to swallow when you have this memoir of a persons actual life story and yet you see how much she was trying to make herself be liked by readers - that really bothered me and became tedious the more it was repeated.

However - for what I loved? It sounds odd - but there were lists in this book and the bullet points just made me giddy. She's a writer! But she's like me! She makes LISTS! Granted for some of them I would have rather enjoyed to see the thoughts more drawn out but overall the bullet points were amazing to see included.

I did also really love the lack of autonomy that comes with being disabled. I'd have liked to see more about her journey as an adult with a disability but really did find myself enjoying it with her looking into it as a child.

Overall, there were a lot of really great points made in this memoir, but I am left with a feeling of wanting more! That's not a bad thing by any means.

I can’t get past the narrative voice. I wanted to get a perspective on a disability I knew nothing of, but the comedic tone juxtaposed with the discussion didn’t work for me.

Thank you to Net Galley, the publisher and Carla Sosenko for this ARC of I’ll Look So Hot in a Coffin. This book is sharply funny and honest, with self-deprecating humor that I can relate to. Sosenko’s take on addiction, identity, and self-worth is engaging and raw. I knew nothing about Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome before reading this book so I appreciate the learning experience on this rare disorder.

My only gripe is while I appreciated the acknowledgment of her privilege, I don't think she realizes how much she has. It made her a bit unrelatable when she was able to tap into her inheritance to bail herself out of nearly $100k in shopping debt acquired in 6 months. Still, it’s a bold, unique memoir with a strong voice.

I cannot say this enough, I loved this read!! I will definitely have a copy in my classroom library and recommend it to my students. This book was a transformative discovery of how women are overlooked in healthcare department. Having graduated with a sociology degree, this book truly inspired me to do more research as to why we get treated the way we do. Even with Carla and her various symptoms presented, health care providers could not empathize and help her. I look forward to reading more about Carla and trying to help those out like her that are misdiagnosed.

I always appreciate memoirs, and this one is no different. Snarky and insightful, Carla Sosenko brought vulnerability and honesty to her memoir.

Of course, this is only her lived experience and is hard to review, but I appreciated what she shared.

Thank you to NetGalley and Dial Press.

ARC for an honest review.
This book was a little hard to get through but it was worth the read to me. I don’t think rating memoirs is necessarily fair because ratings are so subjective anyway but people are putting their thoughts and themselves on paper and you really can’t say it’s wrong because it’s them, you can’t change their life or their story.
My favorite parts about the book was the humor and I loved the last chapter when the author is giving helpful thoughts that worked for her to us as readers. There were things I related to such as being neurodivergent and struggling with my body image although in some different ways. I had never heard of Klippel-Trenaunay (KT) syndrome so learning about that was informative. I don’t really think about how people with disorders or disabilities or various other things even accidents can affect someone and others may treat them differently. It was helpful hearing what not to do when you meet someone or know someone. Our bodies aren’t really who we are and it’s good for that to be voiced more often. Growing up in a low income family I found myself a bit amazing at some of the things shared. But just how someone may not know what it’s like to be poor, I don’t know what it’s like to have KT. Now I know a little more though. I appreciate how the author called out diet culture and weight loss groups for the harm they cause. As someone who’s in recovery from an eating disorder I felt somewhat judged in earlier chapters but also understood more so by the author in later chapters. I appreciate the author sharing her story on how growing up with KT and experiences as an adult, her not ideal ways of coping with stress and her journey of finding who she is.

This is a candidly funny memoir by a woman born with a disorder causing a physical deformity. I appreciate her honesty in sharing her story of living in a looks-obsessed society. She shares of her experiences with self-consciousness, anxiety, depression and journey to self acceptance. I feel like she didn't hold anything back and it will resonate with other differently-abled people.

i really enjoyed the reflection and realization in this book it made me look inward to reflect on my own life and how i see myself based on how other people see me

Not what I expected but fully enjoyed Carla's storytelling. Memoirs always get 5 stars, it's so brave to tell your story.
I was surprised how seen I felt during her ADHD diagnosis. Definitely recommend the audiobook, the author reading their own words always hits harder.

This was such an engrossing page-turner! The author is honest and lays it all out there. This is funny and heart-wrenching. It’s deep and it’s authentic. Carla Sosenko pours herself into the pages of this book and it shows.

I thought her experience of living as a person with a disability was eye-opening. I identified with her experience as living as a heteronormative white woman. She admits to her privilege and her luck. She shows that life is often full of shades of gray and that we shouldn’t paint everyone in black and white.

I thought this book was full of wisdom and I really enjoyed reading it. I hope to take some of that wisdom and apply it to my life.

Carla Sosenko's memoir, I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin, is an incredible take on disability, aging, and trying to exist as a woman. I was not at all familiar with her prior to reading this, but was intrigued by the title that I had to pick it up. Her struggles with diet culture, being a people pleaser, and anxiety are incredibly relatable and told in such a way that I couldn't stop reading. I appreciated her unflinching honesty as she delved into her experience with therapy and dating and even her shopping addiction.

I absolutely recommend her memoir - thank you so much to NetGalley and to Random House for the advanced copy.

Memoirs are so subjective so it's tough to give a "rating". I will say though that this is dark humor done right. Sosenko balances cynicism with surprising vulnerability in this collection that feels like an unhinged group chat you didn’t know you needed. Some essays hit harder than others, but overall, I found it cathartic and weirdly empowering. A chaotic good kind of read.

I’ll Look So Hot in a Coffin by Carla Sosenko works better as an intriguing look into another person’s life more than a work of self-reflective advocacy.

This memoir seems to exist because Sosenko wanted to write about her life. That’s not a bad reason to write a memoir, but it doesn’t quite fit with the book’s marketing as a woman’s quest to “find freedom and joy” in an unconventional body. Sosenko’s relationship to her body does play a sizable role in the book, but a lot of the memoir is about other aspects of her life. The book jumps around to different times and topics with little organization. Buzzfeed-like lists make a frequent appearance. I would normally be more annoyed by these stylistic and organizational choices, but they make sense given that Sosenko is a lifestyle journalist with ADHD. I think it’s important that people go into this book with the correct expectations, however, and realize that it may not be the linear memoir of disability and body image that it’s advertised to be.

Sosenko’s writing is accessible and engaging, although at times it’s not quite clear what the reader is supposed to get out of her reflections. She makes a lot of good (if unoriginal) points about disability and diet culture and fatphobia in a manner that is sharp but also shallow. Other reviewers have described her observations as performative, an assessment that I somewhat agree with. She’s clearly been through a lot and done a lot of work in therapy to get to a better place with herself and her mental health, and her accomplishments are impressive. She’s witty and charming and her book will probably resonate with a lot of readers. However, I think this work unintentionally reveals the large amount of work she has left to do. Her acknowledgements of her privileges—especially in regard to her unchecked shopping addiction—appear perfunctory. She claims to grasp the problems with her behavior and thinking but her defensive tone suggests that she doesn’t quite believe it. Furthermore, despite her insistence on compassion and solidarity, she occasionally lets slip a casually cruel assessment of other people, particularly other women, that belie her message of acceptance and solidarity.

I don’t expect memoir writers to be saints or be figureheads for their respective causes, but they should possess enough measured self-reflection to understand how their message will come across to the world. I think this could be a decent first exposure to some basic ideas of disability advocacy and body acceptance for upper-class white women who can relate to Sosenko’s insecurities and life experiences. But I’ll Look So Good in a Coffin is too messy, shallow, and self-indulgent for me to recommend it as a work of advocacy for feminism/disability activism/body acceptance. That said, Sosenko is so willing to share details of her life and writes with such an engaging accessibility that it can still be a diverting reading experience.


Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.