I did not realize this was a memoir going in. I found it relatable and funny at times. I would read from this author again.

Reviewing a memoir is always difficult. This story is not about a character, it's a real person and their real life. But I struggled to get what I was expecting from the book's description. While I could easily connect to the stories of being in bad relationships because it felt like your only opportunity or struggling through anxiety around a commitment because you didn't want to disappoint someone. I enjoyed the antidotes and the stories, the sarcasm and dark humor are right up my alley. However the description of the book lead me to believe we would be taking a deep dive into how the physical deformities impacted her life but it felt like the overall focus of the book was fatphobia and weight loss, which is something most women struggle with.

This is a memoir about her life with KT syndrome and how this has influenced her body image, sense of worth, and relationships. It is candid, vulnerable, and shows a lot of personal growth.

TW: this does involve a good chunk of time on her eating disorder.

It was an interesting read as someone with a history of pretty significant BDD, finding myself relating so strongly to the desire to not be deformed, to have a "normal" appearance. It was actually a lot harder for me to connect with the author in her moments of confidence- when she is choosing to wear showy outfits, wanting to be in the spotlight, and being body positive. This is a point of reflection for me. I always love seeing the process of hard work in mental health paying off, and this book definitely has that!

I really wished I loved this.... I was into the cover and title, but the description seemed off over what the actual book was about.

Honestly this book was not at all what I expected, It was very interesting. Especially about body image. I thought it had good sense of humor in some parts.

3/5 stars
I’ll Look So Hot in a Coffin was definitely an interesting read—I found a lot I could relate to, especially in the reflections on identity, aging, and self-image. That said, the structure didn’t quite work for me. It felt like it was trying to be both a memoir and a self-help book, and the balance between the two made it feel a little unfocused. I think I would have connected more deeply if it had leaned harder into one direction or the other. Still, there were some powerful moments and lines that made me pause and reflect.

It is so challenging to live out loud when you are what society defines as different, in any way. This memoir from Carla Sosenko, presented as a series of essays, offers a glimpse into this journey for one woman. Ms. Sosenko was born with a rare vascular disorder called Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome, and faces judgment and pressure to “fit in” from peers, from strangers, and from her own parents, until she decides to go her own way and live authentically.

We may feel we would have made different choices in certain areas, and as the author acknowledges, her material privilege provides her with many opportunities not available to others in her position. However, the beauty of memoir is that we are given the opportunity to hear a storyteller’s perspective on their journey. It’s a reaffirming read for anyone, and especially poignant for those of us who have struggled with chronic illness and/or disability. 3.5 stars.

Thanks to RandomHouse Publishing Group – Random House | The Dial Press, the author, and NetGalley for providing this copy of I’ll Look So Hot In A Coffin for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

Thank you Random House and NetGalley for the ARC!

This was a title I was invited to read. I was initially captured by the title, because it was so clever. The book itself was pretty dark, and I had a hard time reading it, especially knowing it is a true story. I applaud the author for their candid and tough recounting of their life, but it was a tough read for me. I definitely recommend checking trigger warnings for anyone interested in reading this book.

Thank you again for the ARC!

To many good quotes to pass:
“There was a short stretch of time in my single thirties, pre-Jason, when I wasn't dating much. Every Saturday I would wake up and feel nothing but promise: of a day spent meandering the city alone, or with friends in bars and stores and restaurants, of all the things a Saturday brings after a long week. But on Sunday, just as surely, I would wake in a state of terror with the feeling that I would be doing this-waking up alone, in this apartment, in this bed —for the rest of my life. I never stopped to wonder if that was such a bad thing; I focused only on the gut reaction. It was like that for a very long time. Exhilaration followed by doom. It meant, I didn't know yet, that I would end up with the first person willing to slide comfortably into my life, regardless of whether he was the right person, the wrong person, or the worst person.”

“Do I envision marriage for myself? Probably not, because I don't see the point and the idea of tethering myself to someone legally and financially stresses me out. What about a committed relationship? Sure, I guess. If it were the right person. If it's a person who improves the quality of my life. If it's a person I trust and who makes me feel cared for and safe and calm and happier than I am when I'm alone. If that person exists for me. There was a time when admitting that on paper would have terrified me— what is the point of life if you do not have someone to love who loves you back?—but now it really doesn't, because I have a lot of people I love who love me back.”

“An issue for me is that I am good at many things (#con-ceited)—not always great, but at least good. I was a good student. I was a good athlete. I was good at so many things because I was a people pleaser who had trouble tolerating the feeling of others thinking I was not good. I had the proof of my goodness in the feedback, including from my supervisor at Lord & Taylor, who told me what a good salesgirl I was when I called her one final day while hyperventilating to say that I absolutely could not come back into the store. Hearing that you are good at something that feels like it's killing you isn't encouraging. When people tell you you're good at something, they mean they think you're effortlessly good at it, but what they can't see is that you're putting in all of the effort all of the time while telling yourself that you're not putting in enough effort, which other people around you seem to agree with, because they keep suggesting that if you just put in even more effort, you could prevail over these things, but you have no more effort to give and already feel terrible about what a disappointment you are.”

Thank you to NetGalley and the Dial Press (Random House) for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I did not know Carla Sosenko before picking up this book. I’m pleased that I’ve read it though as it’s an autobiography that is heartfelt and real but funny and quirky and brings with it lessons and words of wisdom we all need. It verges on self help at points but in nice balance to the poignant stories it contains. Overall really glad I got the chance to read this one.

"If someone were staring at you on the street, really staring, what would you do? You would confront them, maybe…At the very least you would roll your eyes or cross the street or in some other way absent yourself from the situation, because being stared at is weird. And yet we spend so much of our lives making ourselves palatable to the gaze of others. Why?"

I loved how vulnerable and open Sosenko was! It was so refreshing to read about her experiences-the good and the bad, facing her mistakes and privileges, celebrating how far she’s come even if it’s not perfect (because we’re human no one is perfect!). The author shares stories of her life from surgeries, diet culture, dating, fashion, shopping addiction, and her ADHD diagnosis.

I marked a lot of passages that were inspiring or relatable! There were a lot of relatable things for me, especially about body image and ADHD.

The only reason this wasn’t a 5 star read was because the chapters can be a bit long for my taste, so it was harder to fully focus and read multiple in one sitting/day (hello adhd!)

Overall Sosenko’s memoir is funny, tender, empowering, and thought provoking! She provides an important reminder that every body is different, and while marginalized people/bodies are square pegs in this round world that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to take up space 💗

Rating: 4.5 stars

The title grabbed me and made me interested to start reading. However, I didn't know much about Carla Sosenko or Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome. Sosenko's chapters were engaging and I enjoyed her self reflection and sharing of her experience with Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome.

3.5 stars but rounding up.

Thank you Netgalley & Random House Publishing Group - Random House | The Dial Press for the advanced reader copy.

This book was very different than I was expecting but very interesting none the less. This book is a memoir so it is a true account by our author. While I am used to memoirs having a lot of family issues to it this one was a little different in the fact that it mainly focused on our main character Carla as she lives with a bunch of physical deformities. The book goes on to show how she not only lives with them but how she manages to thrive and live despite her challenges and how she manages to love herself in a world that is constantly trying to tear her down. It was heartbreaking to hear her recount all of the negative reactions she has had not just from dates and strangers but people who should know better like doctors and other professionals. Those are the kinds of people who should have no judgement and to see her still being assessed was sad. I loved how the author describes her bod in this book. It's almost written like a coffee shop poem, hard hitting pros that pack major punches but with simplistic word choices. I love that about this book because it made it so much easier for the reader to become drawn in to what our author was trying to portray instead of being lost in what could have been a bunch of super boring and complex medical jargon. What could have understandably been written as a very heart breaking tale was instead written with a sense of power and accomplishment as well as humor and sarcasm and that made this book go way up in my opinion. This book shows all of the trouble her condition has caused her over the years and all of the medical opinions and surgeries that she had to go through as a child to try to cure her all be it without success. I also like how the story was broken up into different lift events and situations instead of a steady plot point. It made the book much easier to read and to follow. Great job I really liked this book and considering I was almost expecting a much heavier darker and almost clinical read it was a very nice change then what I had in mind. Check out this book if you are in the mood to laugh cry or just get a better insight at what someone else has to go through in this world, because it isn't the same place for everyone and this book proves that.

Many times when I read a memoir, I feel like a voyeur on the author's psychotherapy session. I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin is no exception in that way. I appreciated Carla's snarky dark humor and ability to reflect and laugh at her younger self. As someone who has been called out on her own self-deprecating humor, I also see it as a defense mechanism of sorts... if I am loud and proud about something I am insecure about, it deflects others from being able to laugh at me and makes me feel like they are laughing with me. It is a way of taking the power to hurt back. But it is also exhausting. At times, I sensed her exhaustion at always trying to minimize or avoid her insecurities.

Despite having no connection to the author, I chose this book because I was interested in hearing her perspective on growing up with Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome. As a pediatric clinical pharmacist, I always seek out opportunities to learn from patient and parent perspectives so that I can hopefully do my best for them in a way that is medically appropriate but also respectful of patient autonomy and preferences. I enjoyed the beginning of the book where she spoke of her childhood experiences, both medical and social through her peer interactions. However, the book quickly devolved into a soapbox on fat phobia from a person who wasn't particularly limited much physically or in ability based on being somewhat overweight. I am not discrediting her experiences being larger or of a different shape that what is considered "average", but I think there are larger women authors out there who have a more specific experience with obesity, bullying, and discrimination. I just wished she would have stuck to her KT perspective. and given me more in that vein as it turned out to be rather lean in that content.

My other beef with the book is that it is written through the lens of what I would consider a more extreme economic and social privilege. The author does briefly acknowledge her privilege, but I do not feel that she really GETS just how much privilege she has had throughout her life. In one particular chapter, she discussed her shopping addiction. She shared that she got into financial trouble over a few short months racking up credit card debt to a degree that she had to have her family tap into her (trust fund?) investments to get caught. up. She mentioned she was lucky that she had that privilege but didn't come off as understanding that many of her readers would support a family of 5 on that much money over the course of 2-3 years, perhaps even more. I don't begrudge anyone for having been born into wealth and opportunity, but I would like them to understand just how much they have that most others do not and be a little more grateful in the process. Gratefulness was lacking throughout, and while I appreciated seeing her come to terms with the physical lot she was dealt in life, a lot came off as an angry rant about what other people owe her rather than what she owes to herself and overall humanity. While she opines on her KT syndrome and weight challenges, she incessantly brags about her extensive dating experience, sexual relationships, travel, education, employment, fashion, and writing and athletic prowess. It came off as someone who is all that (or at least thinks they are) but somehow isn't particularly appreciative of those things. I think she would have had a very different experience with her KT had she been born into a working-class household and was limited to shopping at Wal-Mart and working summers at McDonald's. It didn't seem like she was all that held back by her lot... but more so haunted by the head conversations she had with herself.

Overall, I thought the essays felt authentic to who the author is, and her thoughts were clearly laid bare. But being so vulnerable in her writing also opens things up for judgment. It is her memoir and her therapy session, but I just sat there shaking my head through a lot of it. Even as a woman who has spent a lifetime in a height, size, and shape much larger than deemed feminine or attractive, I found myself not really able to relate much to her story and experiences. But I learned to dump image as a validation of self-worth very early on in childhood. It was a losing battle to the bullies, and so I focused on academics instead... something I could compete at and win. I guess we all do what we have to do to get on with life, we just choose different ways in doing so. One thing we would both agree on is to dump or quiet quit (I love her use of this term in the context of relationships) the people in life who are dragging you down. Our inner voices do enough of that without inviting more in.

2.5 stars

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group - Random House | The Dial Press and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this ARC.

In the introduction to her raw, but humorous, memoir, Sosenko explains how the congenital vascular disorder that she was born with, Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome, has left her with a body that is visibly different from most. “There is hypertrophy of tissue on my back, rendering it giant, blobby, lopsided, and not very back-like. My torso, right leg, and bottom are marked by soft, uneven malformations and a port wine stain so big it looks like a spilled bottle of sun-faded cabernet.” Remarkably, Sosenko states that she no longer cares what people experience when they look at her; rather, she only cares what she experiences, and what she experiences is gratitude.

Although her attitude about her “unique” body is uplifting, Sosenko recites a number of cringey episodes, some downright cruel (like the birthday/Halloween party where an acquaintance loudly demanded to touch her back), and some simply naive or misguided (like the physician who declared it was fortunate that her condition did not impact her face). She talks about the liposuction and other surgeries that she underwent as a child to, as her mother sought to reassure her, improve her looks, not because there was a secret health hazard. At twelve or thirteen, Sosenko decided that she would not undertake further elective surgeries, reasoning: “What was the point of having a slightly less deformed butt than the one you started with?” The idea of plastic surgery continues to exhaust her.

Sosenko has lovely things to say about her parents, declaring that “[t]hey are who I would choose all over again,” although she acknowledges that therapy accidentally activated the hurt and pain and mistakes from long ago. But she concludes that her parents gave their child with a rare disorder a “completely normal, regular-in-a-good-way life. . . “. Sosenko’s memoir often made me angry -- but women all experience tone deaf comments about their bodies -- it is ultimately life affirming. Her enthusiasm and zest for life is infectious. Thank you Corina Diez of Random House Publishing Group and Net Galley for an advance copy of this tender memoir.

Packed with humor as a coping mechanism (many of us have been there) for the feelings about her body, the author recounts the ways in which she thought she could fit in or how life would change if she were to look like other people. The author navigates the struggles of her disease, and throughout the book shows the reflexions she had during different moments of her life that made her see things differently.

Wow. Such a powerful book. Iread it in one sitting because it is so well written. The author is so smart and witty, and has an outstanding sense of humor. Carla Sosenko was born with Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome. In her memoir she recounts the numerous difficulties she had to face as a person with a body that is out of the culturally accepted standards, the many times she was humilliated because of that and how this affected her own acceptance. She undesses herself in front of the reader, showing her faults and insecurities, unapologetically and I love her irreverent approach.
I would highly recommend this book. You are rooting for her happiness all the way and she gets her happy ending!

Title of the year I think! Reviewing memoirs is always interesting - how do we critique someone's lived experience? What I will say is I found Sosenko's voice captivating, full of sharp wit and often self-deprecating humour, navigating tough subjects in a captivating way. As someone with my own body dysmorphia issues that have reared their head in the age of Ozempic and the quest for rail-thin as synonymous with beauty, I found a lot that resonated with (and triggered) me while reading. Not an easy read, but one I'd recommend for those in the right headspace to receive it.

I related so much to this book, it really showed how body image issues can affect someone’s entire lives, and how they can turn to things they feel they can control, even if those things are not exactly healthy. This was a witty, bright, and to-the-point memoir and I absolutely loved it!

Carla Sosenko's memoir about what it's like to live with a rare genetic vascular disorder is informative, at times funny, sad, and always meaningful. I already knew that people can be cruel to anyone who looks different or unexpected, but Carla's first-hand experience really sheds light on the specific ways people can be awful. Men who ask to touch her back because they knew there's a bump on it. There's a chapter where Carla lists to appalling things people have said to her. But it's not all the worst of humanity: there are plenty of instances where Carla is living a full and fulfilled life. Loves and is loved. Has a successful career as a writer. I hope everyone reads this book and learns not just about the resilience of people who deal with disability, but also their deep humanity.

Thank you NetGalley for the free digital ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.