Thank you to Random House and Netgalley for the ARC! I think I'm landing at a 3.25-3.5 with this one. While I did learn a little bit and enjoyed the author's candor, I felt it was a bit too voice-y at times and found her insufferable more than I was anticipating (we get it! you have a gorgeous face despite having physical deformaties on your back and legs....). Nose gym is something I will never forget though!

3.5 stars. I wasn’t previously aware of Carla Sosenko before reading this book, but the title and book cover really caught my attention. Carla describes her childhood living with and navigating doctors and medical procedures to treat Klippel-Trénaunay syndrome. K-T as Carla calls it, is a rare, lifelong genetic condition that affects the development of blood vessels, soft tissues, bones, and sometimes the lymphatic system, and is characterized by a triad of symptoms: abnormal bone and soft tissue growth, venous malformations, and a port-wine stain birthmark. Carla starts off her book highlighting that while K-T can be life threatening or a disability to some, she is lucky in that regard. K-T has, however, provided her with a body that is visibly different.

Carla’s family treated the hypertrophy of tissue on her back and leg with liposuction procedures at a young age, and she’s had the varicose veins embolized as an adult. I’ve seen other reviewers mention the privilege Carla clearly has had in her experience with K-T, and while that is a valid point in her unique experience with K-T, I don’t think it takes away from the impacts all of these experiences have on shaping who Carla has become. While it may be difficult for others with K-T without that privilege to feel they can relate or achieve the same successful and normal life, I’m not sure that was the point of Carla sharing her life with us.

In Carla’s life, it seems she has been very lucky to be surrounded by supportive friends and family, had treatment options available to her, and never seemed to struggle for money or success. She shares dating woes that are comical and generally normal seeming, though her personal anxieties about her appearance certainly change the perspective. She’s experienced great success in her career, despite her anxiety and adhd.

I really enjoyed Carla’s dark humor and her snarkiness throughout the book. She is a good storyteller, and I appreciate her sharing her life with readers.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Reading Carla Sosenko’s memoir is an experience about as unusual as the woman herself. She is an everywoman who has a visible congenital condition. Because we understand better what we see with our eyes than what we are told, it puts her in a stronger place to teach us her lived experience about how the world sees people who look different than the majority. With invisible-to-the eye internal conditions, it requires too much of our imagination, sadly, to get it. In Carla’s case, she can point to specific things people say to her and how they gaze at or touch her and why these things aren’t helpful at best and wildly inappropriate at worst.

Carla will make clear, however, that her experiences are greater than one thing. It would be “easy to think I am everything I am (and am not) because of this rare disorder that I happen to be born with… But that logic is faulty,” she says, “because none of us can separate out any one part of ourselves and still be ourselves.”

In this book you will meet a public figure, a fearless and gregarious woman who is prone to FOMO, incessantly on the go, addicted to fashion, plagued with anxiety, who sees social drinking and serial dating as Olympian challenges, and who somehow managed the calendar well enough to become successful in her chosen field. Age and experience have tempered much of this along with how she responds to the world, but this book is more about her before, not her now. It is closer in the timeline of the now Carla when she is diagnosed with ADHD, which has been revelatory in understanding herself. While far from knowing much about this diagnosis, I can imagine the “H” presenting to others as high energy and exuberance that can be positively infectious. Reading this book, you will see that.

While you might think the everywoman description is a bit off kilter, you will learn that Carla is afflicted with the same challenges, terrors, heartbreaks, humiliations, addictions, and insecurities we all have to one degree or another. After all, we women and a lot of men are under the same cultural expectations as she. One example is the section on the Drinking Game, which she says measures how culturally widespread the conditioning is to accept that some bodies are good, and others are bad. It follows a deep dive into the culture of the ideal body size and Carla’s long experience with dieting. It’s an eyeopener.

Because this book expands decades and is dense in the telling, there might seem to be some contradictions in it, which makes it difficult to describe a “take away.” These factors also make it more challenging to keep up with the nuances between one statement and a seemingly contradictory other at another place in the book. For example, she reflects on how at times she wouldn’t leave a restaurant table without covering her back or how she crept in and out of pools to avoid too many eyes falling on her or how she dressed in knee-high boots and skirts that showed only an inch of her unmatched legs. Then, we read a section like this in roughly the same time period, which is about her shopping compulsion and so perfectly describes the woman who jumps through the pages that I couldn’t agree with myself as to where to cut off these quotes—

“I am too conceited, too afraid of missing out, too garrulous, too Libyan. I can’t not express myself through fashion. It truly never felt like an option. Compulsion or not, I am happy about it… My weird body ultimately, unwittingly elevated my style, or at least made it more interesting than my peers’. All my clothes said “look at me” in one way or another. I think that’s a really good thing for someone who is born with a disorder that makes her body prone to standing out already. Grandiosity-wise nothing feels off limits. I am not a person who has ever looks at something opulent or over-the-top or eye-grabbing or major or costuming or severe and thought I couldn’t pull that off. What I’m saying is that, for me, decorating myself like I am a fucking present and forcing the world to look at me is and always will be the biggest rush ever...”

I hope Carla accomplishes her goal of giving others who share her experiences a shortcut in their own paths. She says she is still learning and doesn’t have all the answers, but she hopes her story is reassuring.

Many thanks to Random House Publishing Group—Random House and NetGalley for providing this e-galley.
#IllLookSoHotinaCoffin #NetGalley

This is the best book title I've seen in a while. Born with a very rare health condition, Sosenko was a pretty face attached to what she considered to be a grotesque body. I was horrified at the insensitive things people did (touching her back without asking if it was okay) and the ugly comments they felt it was all right to make, especially men. I am glad that the author realized that she is just find exactly how she is and absolutely entitled to live her life how she wants. Sensitive readers should be aware of subjects that may be triggers including mental illness, wanting to die. physical disability, abusive relationships, and stupid insensitive people (who are unfortunately ubiquitous). Will appeal to readers who enjoyed Jennette McCurdy's memoir I'm Glad My Mom is Dead.

I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin is a title that instantly drew me in. Although the book ended up being something different to what I originally thought, I still greatly enjoyed reading it. I loved the formatting and writing of this book, it felt more like a close friend was telling me stories. Witty, blunt, vulnerable, and very relatable. I would love to read more from Carla Sosenko again.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group - Random House | The Dial Press for an ARC copy!

I'LL LOOK SO HOT IN A COFFIN by Carla Sosenko covers so much territory, it's a little tough to describe it as strictly a memoir or self-help type of story. Born with a syndrome that distinguishes her from everyone else, Sosenko has suffered, endured, and prevailed so much of our culture's strange and disjointed beliefs about beauty, body image, and what it means to be successful in this world. I applaud her courage in sharing her story and stirring the pot of our fears, assumptions, and what happens when we let go of all of that and live. I received a copy of this book and these thoughts are my own, unbiased opinions.

I think the humour in this is akin to Jennette McCurdy's memoir but I feel like sometimes it doesn't dive deep enough into the why's of everything. I liked it but I don't think it was especially memorable unfortunately.

I did not realize this was a memoir going in. I found it relatable and funny at times. I would read from this author again.

Reviewing a memoir is always difficult. This story is not about a character, it's a real person and their real life. But I struggled to get what I was expecting from the book's description. While I could easily connect to the stories of being in bad relationships because it felt like your only opportunity or struggling through anxiety around a commitment because you didn't want to disappoint someone. I enjoyed the antidotes and the stories, the sarcasm and dark humor are right up my alley. However the description of the book lead me to believe we would be taking a deep dive into how the physical deformities impacted her life but it felt like the overall focus of the book was fatphobia and weight loss, which is something most women struggle with.

This is a memoir about her life with KT syndrome and how this has influenced her body image, sense of worth, and relationships. It is candid, vulnerable, and shows a lot of personal growth.

TW: this does involve a good chunk of time on her eating disorder.

It was an interesting read as someone with a history of pretty significant BDD, finding myself relating so strongly to the desire to not be deformed, to have a "normal" appearance. It was actually a lot harder for me to connect with the author in her moments of confidence- when she is choosing to wear showy outfits, wanting to be in the spotlight, and being body positive. This is a point of reflection for me. I always love seeing the process of hard work in mental health paying off, and this book definitely has that!

I really wished I loved this.... I was into the cover and title, but the description seemed off over what the actual book was about.

Honestly this book was not at all what I expected, It was very interesting. Especially about body image. I thought it had good sense of humor in some parts.

3/5 stars
I’ll Look So Hot in a Coffin was definitely an interesting read—I found a lot I could relate to, especially in the reflections on identity, aging, and self-image. That said, the structure didn’t quite work for me. It felt like it was trying to be both a memoir and a self-help book, and the balance between the two made it feel a little unfocused. I think I would have connected more deeply if it had leaned harder into one direction or the other. Still, there were some powerful moments and lines that made me pause and reflect.

It is so challenging to live out loud when you are what society defines as different, in any way. This memoir from Carla Sosenko, presented as a series of essays, offers a glimpse into this journey for one woman. Ms. Sosenko was born with a rare vascular disorder called Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome, and faces judgment and pressure to “fit in” from peers, from strangers, and from her own parents, until she decides to go her own way and live authentically.

We may feel we would have made different choices in certain areas, and as the author acknowledges, her material privilege provides her with many opportunities not available to others in her position. However, the beauty of memoir is that we are given the opportunity to hear a storyteller’s perspective on their journey. It’s a reaffirming read for anyone, and especially poignant for those of us who have struggled with chronic illness and/or disability. 3.5 stars.

Thanks to RandomHouse Publishing Group – Random House | The Dial Press, the author, and NetGalley for providing this copy of I’ll Look So Hot In A Coffin for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

Thank you Random House and NetGalley for the ARC!

This was a title I was invited to read. I was initially captured by the title, because it was so clever. The book itself was pretty dark, and I had a hard time reading it, especially knowing it is a true story. I applaud the author for their candid and tough recounting of their life, but it was a tough read for me. I definitely recommend checking trigger warnings for anyone interested in reading this book.

Thank you again for the ARC!

To many good quotes to pass:
“There was a short stretch of time in my single thirties, pre-Jason, when I wasn't dating much. Every Saturday I would wake up and feel nothing but promise: of a day spent meandering the city alone, or with friends in bars and stores and restaurants, of all the things a Saturday brings after a long week. But on Sunday, just as surely, I would wake in a state of terror with the feeling that I would be doing this-waking up alone, in this apartment, in this bed —for the rest of my life. I never stopped to wonder if that was such a bad thing; I focused only on the gut reaction. It was like that for a very long time. Exhilaration followed by doom. It meant, I didn't know yet, that I would end up with the first person willing to slide comfortably into my life, regardless of whether he was the right person, the wrong person, or the worst person.”

“Do I envision marriage for myself? Probably not, because I don't see the point and the idea of tethering myself to someone legally and financially stresses me out. What about a committed relationship? Sure, I guess. If it were the right person. If it's a person who improves the quality of my life. If it's a person I trust and who makes me feel cared for and safe and calm and happier than I am when I'm alone. If that person exists for me. There was a time when admitting that on paper would have terrified me— what is the point of life if you do not have someone to love who loves you back?—but now it really doesn't, because I have a lot of people I love who love me back.”

“An issue for me is that I am good at many things (#con-ceited)—not always great, but at least good. I was a good student. I was a good athlete. I was good at so many things because I was a people pleaser who had trouble tolerating the feeling of others thinking I was not good. I had the proof of my goodness in the feedback, including from my supervisor at Lord & Taylor, who told me what a good salesgirl I was when I called her one final day while hyperventilating to say that I absolutely could not come back into the store. Hearing that you are good at something that feels like it's killing you isn't encouraging. When people tell you you're good at something, they mean they think you're effortlessly good at it, but what they can't see is that you're putting in all of the effort all of the time while telling yourself that you're not putting in enough effort, which other people around you seem to agree with, because they keep suggesting that if you just put in even more effort, you could prevail over these things, but you have no more effort to give and already feel terrible about what a disappointment you are.”

Thank you to NetGalley and the Dial Press (Random House) for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I did not know Carla Sosenko before picking up this book. I’m pleased that I’ve read it though as it’s an autobiography that is heartfelt and real but funny and quirky and brings with it lessons and words of wisdom we all need. It verges on self help at points but in nice balance to the poignant stories it contains. Overall really glad I got the chance to read this one.

"If someone were staring at you on the street, really staring, what would you do? You would confront them, maybe…At the very least you would roll your eyes or cross the street or in some other way absent yourself from the situation, because being stared at is weird. And yet we spend so much of our lives making ourselves palatable to the gaze of others. Why?"

I loved how vulnerable and open Sosenko was! It was so refreshing to read about her experiences-the good and the bad, facing her mistakes and privileges, celebrating how far she’s come even if it’s not perfect (because we’re human no one is perfect!). The author shares stories of her life from surgeries, diet culture, dating, fashion, shopping addiction, and her ADHD diagnosis.

I marked a lot of passages that were inspiring or relatable! There were a lot of relatable things for me, especially about body image and ADHD.

The only reason this wasn’t a 5 star read was because the chapters can be a bit long for my taste, so it was harder to fully focus and read multiple in one sitting/day (hello adhd!)

Overall Sosenko’s memoir is funny, tender, empowering, and thought provoking! She provides an important reminder that every body is different, and while marginalized people/bodies are square pegs in this round world that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to take up space 💗

Rating: 4.5 stars

The title grabbed me and made me interested to start reading. However, I didn't know much about Carla Sosenko or Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome. Sosenko's chapters were engaging and I enjoyed her self reflection and sharing of her experience with Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome.

3.5 stars but rounding up.

Thank you Netgalley & Random House Publishing Group - Random House | The Dial Press for the advanced reader copy.

This book was very different than I was expecting but very interesting none the less. This book is a memoir so it is a true account by our author. While I am used to memoirs having a lot of family issues to it this one was a little different in the fact that it mainly focused on our main character Carla as she lives with a bunch of physical deformities. The book goes on to show how she not only lives with them but how she manages to thrive and live despite her challenges and how she manages to love herself in a world that is constantly trying to tear her down. It was heartbreaking to hear her recount all of the negative reactions she has had not just from dates and strangers but people who should know better like doctors and other professionals. Those are the kinds of people who should have no judgement and to see her still being assessed was sad. I loved how the author describes her bod in this book. It's almost written like a coffee shop poem, hard hitting pros that pack major punches but with simplistic word choices. I love that about this book because it made it so much easier for the reader to become drawn in to what our author was trying to portray instead of being lost in what could have been a bunch of super boring and complex medical jargon. What could have understandably been written as a very heart breaking tale was instead written with a sense of power and accomplishment as well as humor and sarcasm and that made this book go way up in my opinion. This book shows all of the trouble her condition has caused her over the years and all of the medical opinions and surgeries that she had to go through as a child to try to cure her all be it without success. I also like how the story was broken up into different lift events and situations instead of a steady plot point. It made the book much easier to read and to follow. Great job I really liked this book and considering I was almost expecting a much heavier darker and almost clinical read it was a very nice change then what I had in mind. Check out this book if you are in the mood to laugh cry or just get a better insight at what someone else has to go through in this world, because it isn't the same place for everyone and this book proves that.