"Punishment-Free Parenting" is a transformative and practical guide for parents seeking a compassionate, research-based approach to raising children. The book shifts away from punitive and authoritarian methods, instead focusing on connection, emotional intelligence, and collaborative communication.

Example: "The four most central parenting pillars we all need to be successful. Those pillars are Curiosity, Modeling, Consequences, and Boundaries."

He reminds parents not to get furious. Instead, get curious. Why is your child "acting up"?

- Insightful and Accessible: I appreciate the author’s non-condescending, supportive tone and the practical, real-life examples tailored to different stages of childhood.
- WHOLE Parenting Method: The book introduces a 5-step framework (Wiring, Honor, Outline, Lead, Empower) to help parents guide children through emotional challenges without punishment.
- Focus on Emotional Intelligence: There’s a strong emphasis on parents modeling emotional awareness and repairing relationships after conflicts, which reviewers found particularly valuable.
- Research-Based: The book draws on neuroscience and references leading experts, making complex concepts accessible to readers without a psychology background.
- Not Religious: Although the author is a pastor, the book is secular and inclusive, making it suitable for all parents, regardless of their faith.
- Actionable and Encouraging: The advice is easy to implement, empowering, and confidence-boosting for parents.

CONCLUSION
I recommend "Punishment-Free Parenting" as a must-read for parents and professionals. It’s a game-changer that offers a compassionate, science-backed alternative to traditional discipline, enabling parents to foster stronger, healthier relationships with their children.

As a parent of many kids and a preschool teacher I am always on the lookout for great resources to share with parents or use in my home that take into account child development and appropriate practices.

I loved having these extra strategies in my toolbox for helping children and parents through difficult situations without resulting to punishment.

I will definitely be recommending this one to others!

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book, all opinions are my own.

I am always on the lookout for new parenting books and I loved the author's background and perspective on the topic. I found his approach to be very insightful and the tone was not condescending. I found myself referring back to this book a lot while navigating challenges with my children. Highly recommend!

Thank you NetGalley for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I wanted to read this book to improve how I parent and connect with my child. This book had excellent, practical examples that were related to children in different stages of life. It provides a collaborative, thoughtful approach to communicating with your child. Great read.

This is an amazing guide to instruct parents on how to guide and support their children with love and compassion rather than punitive measures. I wish that this was required reading for all new parents!

An absolute game changer for parents and new age parents such as myself. This has given me a whole sense of confidence on how to become a better parent and the sort of things to avoid and not do which we typically think is the right thing to do.

Highly recommend absolutely loved it

"Punishment-Free Parenting" provides an outline for the WHOLE parenting method for punishment-free parenting, while also providing education on the shortfalls of punishment and authoritarian parenting combined with the author's personal stories. As a child/adolescent therapist, I really appreciated several aspects of this book, especially the inclusion of the background information of the drawbacks to punishment/authoritarian-led parenting styles, which are described in easy-to-understand language for those who may not have a background in psychology or mental health - this a book I could recommend to parents of my clients. Another one of my favorite aspects, coming from my therapist brain, is the focus of "Embracing Feelings", about mid-way through the book before Jon begins describe the WHOLE model for parenting. Again, as a child/adolescent therapist, there is such clear evidence of the value in children learning emotional intelligence, and this begins with their parents modeling this emotional intelligence; a parent cannot do this if they themselves have not embraced their own feelings! Once again, this is a common treatment goal that I see in my office, and I really appreciated its inclusion in Jon's guide. Similarly, I loved that Jon includes a focus on ensuring that the parent/caregiver remembers to repair their relationship with the child after a difficult moment where feelings may be hurt. Finally, the 5-step parenting method, based on the acronym "WHOLE": Wiring, Honor (the experience), Outline (the boundary), Lead (them out), and Empower (for the future). Of course, Jon then goes into detail for each of these 5 steps to explain how and why it is important to focus on each of these 5 steps when you are guiding a child through emotional dysregulation. Jon's system is a tool for fostering emotional intelligence and emotion regulation.

Thank you NetGalley and Convergent Books for giving me early access to this book! All opinions are my own.

This book is absolutely mind blowing. It should be a must read for every parent! So much so, that as soon as I finished this ARC I immediately preordered a physical copy for me to have on hand. The ideas are easily accessible, and feel easy to incorporate into day to day life. I cannot wait to use these techniques with my own children! 5⭐️

Adding this to my regular rotation of parenting references! I absolutely loved this book. The author certainly accomplished his task of not making parents feel worse after reading a parenting book.

I began this book with apprehension that I would come across a faux attachment parenting book that ultimately encourages permissive parenting. The author even acknowledges that he is a pastor, but is not writing from a theological perspective. Thankfully that is not the case! This is a well-researched book that carries on from such authors as Dr. Daniel Siegel (The Whole Brained Child) and Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, making the case for consequences over punishment and the importance of apologies. Whereas most of the parenting books I read are divided into toddlers and preschool-aged children or exclusively teens, this is a great crossover of how punishment-free parenting can evolve from toddlerhood through the teen years.

The references that he uses to shore up his research are some of the top parenting experts. I really enjoyed reading how Fogel's parenting mindset fits in with current research. I highly recommend this book for all parents and for all libraries to include in their collection.

Punishment Free Parenting is a fantastic introduction to the world of conscious parenting. It’s a fairly quick read and Jon Fogel is skilled at taking and distilling the neuroscience of brain development into understandable discussions for the modern parent who is interested in doing things differently.

The book is structured into three parts. The first part is devoted to a high level discussion on why we should care, as parents, to consider parenting more consciously— ie why should I discontinue using tools like shame, blame, and other punitive tactics to control my child’s behavior as they grow. This section dives into a high level overview of brain development and how relationship currency is based on connection. It’s based on science, but it’s anything but boring and it doesn’t feel like textbook reading. The second section is about and directed to the parent. In order to parent consciously, we have to be aware of our triggers (and why is it that our kids know instinctively how to step on the lot of them?!). This section is compassionate and kind as it helps the reader to consider how implicit and explicit memories from childhood are subconsciously directing the big reactions we have when we are suddenly triggered by our children. After helping to identify how we can find the root of our reactions, it provides us with tools to practice to help separate from the past and parent in the here and now. The final section is the framework for parenting without punishment. It is the shortest section of them all but it’s an actionable step forward with tools and a scaffold for how to parent (without telling the reader how to parent). You will not find scripts for every parenting moment of hard you will ever face, but you will find in this section the key concepts that can be successfully applied to hard parenting moments throughout your child’s life.

One section that I’d have liked to see is an extended discussion on how parenting changes through each stage of development. There is a playground analogy that describes how a successful boundary may in fact need to be adjusted for age and stage (a safe, fun playground for a 3 year old does not look like a safe fun playground for a 9 year old). It’s not necessary to this book for me to recommend it with gusto, but I’d have loved to see the authors take on how each stage of development has differing needs as they grow— namely a 3yr old needs and attachment to a parent figure looks wildly different than what a 15yr old needs in attachment to a parent. His skill at distilling developmental brain science into laypersons English is admirable and I’d have loved to see this discussion more fleshed out.

While this book is not inherently religious, Jon Fogel is acknowledges he is a pastor, and I love the way he is open about that fact. It’s not a book that someone who is not Christian would feel turned off by the religious overtones throughout — indeed, I do believe it was intended to be a secular book. But, just the admission that he is a pastor will also catch the Christian readers attention and invite deep thought and consideration to a parenting framework that is easily dismissed in some circles of Christianity.

This book is a solid resource for parents and I commend it to you.

I would like to thank Convergent Books and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.