Though I am a huge fan of Febos's work, I was initially skeptical about this one; just like many of the criticisms pointed out by the author herself, I found myself thinking, "Oh, poor thing! No sex for a WHOLE year!" and dismissing the endeavor as an experiment that only a very lucky and attractive person would be able to attempt.

The deeper I read into The Dry Season, though, the more I realized that my initial dismissal was a result of my own fear and deep awkwardness around the subjects of pleasure and intimacy. Febos is a masterful author of the body, and her work here is no less thorough and evocative than in previous titles like Body Work and Girlhood.

I know that it feels like all white women of a certain age are talking about Miranda July's All Fours--and I am a white woman of a certain age--but I think the shockwave that the book has sent through a specific chunk of the reading public is due, in part, to its extreme honesty regarding desire at an age when women are societally expected to have none. Regardless of its merit as literature, All Fours has opened a seam in which many women are finding themselves communicating with one another about subjects so thoroughly obscured as to be imperceptible.

The Dry Season continues that conversation, as the author looks back on past relationships, sexual entanglements, and persistent, random attractions, trying to pinpoint the locus of her own sexual desires within the common mishaps of having-sex-while-female. Is she attracted to someone because they are attracted to her, or despite it? Does being partnered interfere with personal autonomy? Is the desire for sex and intimacy just another high to which one can become hopelessly addicted?

Throughout this, Febos bolsters the narrative with insightful research into various concepts of celibacy--both religious and secular--which I found fascinating. In particular, she rigorously investigates the "soft power" so frequently attributed to those considered desirable. I found myself regularly highlighting passages and noting sections that I would like to contemplate further. Overall a lovely read.

Thank you NetGalley and Knopf for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Melissa's writing remains invigorating to me, even though I so often take my time with her books. I've seen a few mentions or even critiques that Febos does not delve into the political so much, but frankly I disagree. In my opinion, much of her memoirs live well within these political structures and societal values, but are much less interested in the theories that explain them so much as they are deeply invested in how to live within them. Or in this book's case how to divest from them, and what that means for yourself and your life in the long run. It is not a perspective I am completely used to, so it is one I am greatly interested in. While I don't think I've read enough Butler to be qualified to say this, this is an aspect that reminds me of her writing as well. Both utilize the political as a catalyst for the personal and erotic, though with obviously differing intentions.

Now having completed the book, I can see the way it builds continuously upon her previous work. If you're just starting out with Febos's work, I would never argue against starting wherever you wanted in her bibliography, but I think your understanding and connection with this book is heightened if you've read her other work (especially abandon me, and perhaps girlhood, in shades). I can understand why this book's subject, finding sensuality in celibacy may seem to some as trite, cliched, or even anti-sex, but I don't think it is at all. Celibacy is her route of discovery in this book, but it is the discovery that resonates throughout. Part I is perhaps the most scattered in terms of ideas and topics. There is no sugar coating, but frequent self denial and human ignorance. You make sense of the book as the book begins to make sense of itself, with the payoffs in Parts II and III being well worth the journey.

Febos moves through the story of ancient female mystics, erotic obsessed authors, feminist activists and more as she tries to make sense of the her underlying instincts, and the patterns of her life. This is a hard book to sum up in my own words, so I'll use hers: "I am doing the same thing here: building a linear narrative, grafting other stories onto it, folding time to see the patterns. If I suggest a single meaning it will be a lie."

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

This book is a triumph in a way that builds upon the legacy of Febos’ other works. It is so thoughtful, well researched, and meandering in a way that felt beautiful. She took a concept that she admits herself isn’t super universal and then wrote a book that felt truly universal in its descriptions of the search for meaning and love that sit at the heart of most all of humanity.

It was truly a gift to read. It is academic and spiritual and accessible and funny. It is the type of book you will want to annotate. The type of book you will want to savor. The type of book that reminds you that maybe figuring out who you are and what you want in in fact worth your time and energy.

I’m not even sure I have the talent or ability to review writing as good as this! My therapist asked what I liked about the book and I was like “…..” I mean she described ____ as _____ (I’m not allowed to quote per Net Galley) but who would think to write like this?! It’s stunning. It takes your breath away. It makes you want to go audit an MFA.

My only qualm with this book is that the title felt a little misleading for what it was primarily about. Febos tells a story of healing, growth, connection to elders and research on celibacy, and finding herself. There were glimmers of pleasure in that, but I hadn’t expected so much of it to be about past relationships. I always feel a little icky providing something I didn’t like about a memoir, because the story is true because it was her experience. That’s the whole point. It was still a gorgeous read and made me self-reflect more than I usually sign up for in a book, so brava on getting a reader to get vulnerable! This was a book about the relationship between self worth and lovability and BOY did I need someone else’s story to ground myself in that. Plus the ending was sweet as ever.

Can’t wait for this book to come out and thank you Net Galley and Knopf Publishing for the ARC!

This book was interesting but lacked gumption, Also this book didn’t need to be as long and detailed as it did. The author is a talented writer but sometimes the tone felt off and clumsy. Parts of it felt braggy and self-indulgent. The topic made for an intriguing premise but near the conclusion I just felt frustrated.

Can you hear that? It’s the “New Melissa Febos!!!” alarm! It’s ringing so loud! You’re running to your local library to get a copy of The Dry Season so you can read about Febos’ year of celibacy and all the things that year taught her about herself! Hurry! You don’t want to miss this delicious memoir of sensuality and desire! It’s juicy and thoughtful and lovely! The alarm is sounding!

This should come as a surprise to absolutely no one who's read Melissa Febos previous works, but she has knocked it out of the park once again with The Dry Season. This book was incredibly reflective, well-researched, humorous, and brings a needed perspective on celibacy, dating, and spirituality.

The book follows Febos on her initial three-month (soon extended to a year-long) vow of celibacy after a particularly destructive relationship. Throughout the novel, Febos guides us through her past "inventory" of failed relationships while including research and literary analysis of women throughout history, from religious figures to her literary icons. The Dry Season includes many poignant reflections on relationships both good and bad, and finding your "divine purpose" in life.

The amount of self-reflection Febos is able to infuse throughout the novel is truly inspiring, and I highly recommend this book to anyone who, like me, is trying to decenter romantic relationships in their lives. This is the type of novel that I'm certain I'll find myself coming back to in moments of uncertainty or when I need to gain perspective.

The author and I have opposite life experiences. I’ve never been in a relationship, never been in love, rarely have crushes, and momentarily I’m not dating because I’m focusing on my career. I am also demisexual and demiromantic. I’ve never struggled with the topics the author described, so the book was a little hard for me to get through because its relatability was missing. However, just because the book was not written for me, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have an audience. I’m sure plenty of people will enjoy this story and find it insightful.

Melissa Febos is an expert essayist. I was thoroughly impressed with her collection Girlhood and was so excited to read her upcoming release The Dry Season. It does not disappoint.

Febos chronicles facing her sex addiction by taking a year off of sex. She looks inward and investigates her relationship with romance, sex and power. She writes about dating and queer love. She connects her story to the work and experiences of women in feminist and lesbian history. I realized reading this that there isn’t a lot of writing on celibacy, but it is very interesting to read and think about.

The essays are stellar. Read this! Read everything Febos has written! She really is one of the best essayists writing today.

The Dry Season is Febos as sharp as ever before. She writes with honesty, curiosity, and intention while exploring celibacy, intimacy, internal narratives, relationships, fulfillment, and so much more. Beyond grateful that she wrote this and beyond grateful for Knopf for the early copy. I will be placing this in the hands of everyone I know when it comes out.

Melissa Febos is a master of her craft, and I was so pleased to find in The Dry Season the same inviting prose, reflective themes, and sudden wit that made me fall in love with her previous book, Body Work. This is required reading for anyone thinking about their relationship to relationships and the ways in which they want to connect with others in the world. Indeed, anyone who is looking to make a conscious change in their life might find wisdom in The Dry Season. My copy is full of underlined and annotated passages and I will be recommending this to anyone who will listen. I finished it feeling inspired, sated, and full of love for the world.

Febos brings her sharp observations and stunning vulnerability to this deeply researched memoir about celibacy.

It was more literature review than personal narrative for my taste, but still a fascinating exploration of sex, sexuality and celibacy.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

Engaging and accessible. A recommended purchase for collections where memoirs and sexual health titles are popular.

Febos writes with an intimacy so unflinching it feels almost invasive. Her writing is brave and bold, navigating the maelstrom of her inventory while including feelings on her body, history and celibacy. She also includes thoughts on several of her artistic influences, like Agnes Martin and Virginia Woolf, each one refracting an essential truth. Her meditation on Octavia Butler was particularly inspiring.

There were moments when I could not keep up with the amount of stories in the book, almost like I was being pulled away from a thought or lover too quickly. But by the middle, something shifted. The book began to reveal itself as a mirror, reflecting universally on loneliness and love. I related heavily to her encounter with her spiritual mentor, recognizing a truth that I’ve never wanted to admit to myself.

I am a fast reader, but this is not a book to be hurried. Every page deserves your full attention and I admittedly re-read numerous passages, several times over.

Like Body Work, I hope to return to Dry Season in the future.

*Thank you NetGalley and Knopf for the ARC

Febos recounts her experience as a serial dater and the decision to remain celibate for a year (9 months?). She writes about flirting, dating, lovers, good relationships, bad relationships, friendship, sex work, queer love, mystics, celibate/spiritual women, and other topics relating to feminism, religion, and mental health.

This was a timely read for me. Last year, in December 2024, I decided to take a year-long vow of celibacy after over a decade of serial dating that left me feeling dizzy, bored, confused, alarmed, angry, annoyed, and frustrated. Reading this book has been a real treat and a revelation. Also, both Febos and I have a significant relationship to the word 'maelstrom', which I thought was oddly coincidental and I just had mention it lol.

This is my first Febos and I'm so glad to have finally read her. She introduced me to many writers that I cannot wait to read, and she taught me so much about old favorites, particularly Woolf.

Thank you so much for the ARC!

There is no writer out there who does self reflection like Melissa Febos. Her writing style is absolutely incredible as is her attention to detail. I love how she brings in other pieces of literature and spirituality in her writing to support her own experiences. This work is by far one of her best and makes you really self reflect while experiencing her story.

Wow, I loved this book. As someone with addiction issues, avoidant attachment, and generally confused about life I really connected with this book. I think anyone who is going through change to be a better person in relationships and be a better person to yourself, this one is for you.

Finishing this book left me with a mix of emotions. I ended up reading it in just three days—an outcome of my own impatience, but it was impossible to stop once I started. I was captivated by how Melissa thoughtfully examines her inner world and life journey.

It’s bittersweet that the experience of reading this gorgeous, thoughtful book is over. My own fault for tearing through it in just three days, but I couldn’t help myself — I love the way Melissa explores the contours of her own psyche and life experience.

And I’m not surprised. I’ve loved each of Melissa’s books before, and was so enormously excited to receive an ARC for this one; one I’m excited to read all over again when it’s released in June.

In <i>The Dry Season</i>, as in her previous books, Melissa is so honest, often funny, so curious and considered in her approach to the wisdom that’s come from women before and the wisdom she has gleaned from her own life.

Like Melissa at the start of this book, I’ve been consistently romantically partnered since high school, and often wondered — even as I’m now in a partnership I love — if I would benefit from time alone.

“I was reassured by the fact that I never felt afraid to be alone,” Melissa writes. “I did not consider how one might not ever feel the thing she had successfully outrun.”

Oof.

That was one of many lines I loved that I copied down in my notebook — lines that turned into paragraphs that turned into page after page of Melissa’s words I wanted to remember.

<i>The Dry Season</i> is a book about Melissa’s year of celibacy, yes, but it’s also about the internal narratives we carry into relationships and the relationships we forge (or don’t) with ourselves and our own connection to spirituality; about how having a deeper connection to these inner relationships can allow us to be in relationship with another without needing to be validated or "made whole" by their existence. I can’t think of a single person who wouldn’t benefit from, at the very least, witnessing Melissa’s exploration into the depths of those narratives and relationships from her past.

Much like when I read Leslie Jamison’s <i>Splinters</i> last year (or <i>The Recovering</i> back in 2018), when I read this book, I was struck not just by how much I related to Melissa’s personal experience, but also by how much I desired to interrogate and excavate my own experience like her as a writer.

What a gift to get to read from her again.

I requested this because of my interest in female mystics and Hildegard in particular and that was most certainly the most interesting and best part of this memoir. I've never read anything by this author before and while there are quotes and sections that resonated, overall I found it a bit verbose.