Recently, I had read an essay from Amanda Hess in NYT about her pregnancy with her first-born son, and his rare genetic birth condition. I enjoyed "Second Life" because the author comes across as human, even though she spends a fair amount of time with AI/web groups, searching for answers and to feel connected.. I love how Hess's downstairs neighbors bring her cookies as a means to introduce themselves after they move in, hoping the cookies will soften their endless complaints about the noises they endure from her family. I hadn't heard about free birthing until a couple of years ago, and I had also read that same article Hess discovered in her search about free birthing. Hess had delivered both her children by c-section, yet, she was interested in this alternative approach, curious perhaps mostly as a journalist, but also a mother, so curious she bravely attends an out of state retreat with this group of free birth women, their daughters, and sons younger than six, leaving her toddler and infant, whom she is still nursing at home with her husband, and enduring a painful clogged duct. When the beast massage woman couldn't free the duct, she suggested that she nurse someone else's child at the retreat, and Hess retreats to her tent with her sore breast. I don't want to give away spoilers, but this is an engaging memoir not only about becoming a mother, but living in this world where everyone thinks they have all the answers to our endless questions.

This couldn't have come along at a more perfect time for me as a reader, since I have a 9 month old baby and these topics have been very top of mind. So keep that in mind, that although I do believe this book is excellent in terms of writing and research, I was also extremely primed to be receptive to it at this stage of my life. Many of the author's experiences in terms of how tech shaped and informed her pregnancy were related to mine as well, and I found myself nodding at the pleasure of being seen and recognized. Hess is quite a funny and sharp writer, which means that the book doesn't feel like a lecture or that the author is hectoring you. I will be giving this to friends who are pregnant for sure, and I know I'll revisit it myself in the future. Excellent read!

Amanda Hess the wonderful New York Times critic shares with us her pregnancy and her journey into motherhood.She shares so much of her personal story and how during her pregnancy she spends so much time researching things on the internet.falls into the black hole of the digital age..Sweet funny serious warm I really enjoyed.#netgalley #doubleday

I think it is only fair that before I start critiquing a book on pregnancy and birth that I come clean. I know and admit full well that I would be terrible at having a baby. I would whine, complain, and you'd need to drug me up so much to get through the whole thing. In summary, if you need me to admit that the author, Amanda Hess, is tougher than me then no problem! She is. As the father of a daughter, I have other, less impressive skills like reaching the top shelf, hanging things, and sarcasm. I am okay with my lot in life.

Hess has written Second Life which is a chronicle of the birth of her first son and all the technology and social media around this momentous life change. I find with memoirs I need the author to establish early on that they know writing a memoir is an exercise in navel gazing. I connect best with authors who admit their own failings and don't take themselves too seriously. Life is not easy and pretty all the time and an idealized main character is an absolute bore. Luckily, Hess knows this and never misses a chance to let the reader know how she can be anxious, hyper critical, and hypocritical. My favorite example was her willingness to look back on an article she had read years ago about not having children and detailing just how badly it has aged. It doesn't make her look bad because who doesn't have something in their past they really wish they could forget?

The strongest sections are when Hess focuses on specific things which touch on her own experiences. The first chapter revolves around a health app called Flo (if you can't guess what it focuses on then head back to health class). Hess breaks down how this app burrowed into her psyche and at times made the process of getting pregnant and being pregnant feel like just another online activity. She also dives into other parenting trends like "freebirthing" with similar incisiveness.

My sole criticism is with sections where Hess tries to comment on wider issues related to scenarios outside her specific experience. For example, she introduces studies about the higher rate of c-sections among Black women in the U.S. Examples like this need much deeper analysis than what she gives and it wouldn't fit in the book stylistically if she did explore deeper. These sections are not numerous so don't let this critique deter you from reading it.

I might as well be blunt (something new for me!). I do not think this book will be very entertaining for people who don't want or have kids. That's not a failure on Hess's part, but merely my observation on the subject matter. Hess's point of view is obviously from her perspective as a mother, but I still found a lot to like as a dad reading it. However, anyone uninterested in parenting will not find enough to keep them interested in my opinion.

(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and Doubleday Books.)

This was a really interesting narrative of one woman's pregnancy and birth experiences and all the ways that those experiences were shaped by online culture. Hess deals with pregnancy tracking apps, maternity fashions, and pregnancy influencers. When she finds out her first pregnancy shows signs of being high risk, the internet becomes a tool for feeling more informed and more anxious. The writing is really smart and pretty funny, historically informed, and feminist. A good read, one that makes me relieved that I don't have to navigate the terrain of being pregnant and online today. But I think this will be interesting to people going through it now, just to have someone smart and sympathetic giving you the background to all the ridiculousness of being a present day mom or a mama-to-be.

I found this book by Hess extremely interesting. The way technology shapes our lives and the intimate parts of our lives was researched so well. The information reads like a story and I was immersed in Hess's world. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.