Please read trigger warnings about this book before reading the book or this review.

This is the memoir of Allison Holker, a dancer who competed on So You Think You Can Dance and who later married Stephen "tWitch" Boss. I was a fan of both on the show & followed tWitch's fame from a far over the years. Holker's memoir does describe her younger years, but the main focus was on her marriage to tWitch & his sudden death in 2022.

This is a difficult read to provide an opinion on because of it both being a memoir, the sensitive topics, and the controversy that has surrounded the release of the memoir, which includes information that tWitch had kept hidden from even his closest relationships. I believe that Holker was trying to connect with an audience who may have experienced a sudden loss and wanted to stress that seeking mental health help is important for everyone. She wrote about her complex emotions & part of her story is wrapped up in tWitch's story. There was a lot in the book that was written with a lot of respect and love. There were also some passages dealing with the complex feelings that come from grief, especially for those impacted by mental health of a family member.

One aspect that didn't track for me was that she decided not to give details about a traumatic event in her life, but then gave details about a traumatic event tWitch wrote about in his journal which was previously undisclosed except to one trusted friend.

Overall, I felt that Holker had the best of intentions but also had a few blind spots when writing this raw memoir so shortly after tWitch's death. This was a quick read with the simple, conversational writing style of Holker & I do agree with her advocacy that mental health should be prioritized more in our culture & the harmful impact of toxic positivity. With the content & trigger warnings, this may not be a read for everyone but it was worthwhile.

I found this book raw and emotional. You can see the intense love the couple had and how sometimes even that deep love doesn’t make one partner open up to all the things that happen in our head. Allison was very honest sounding and sincere in her writing and I just wanted to hug her and those precious children.

I wanted to like this but I feel like it was less about her journey and more like I’m a victim. With all the controversy coming out recently, I would have liked to see Allison portraying herself as a strong resilient mother but I just didn’t see that.

A well-written, interesting memoir about the life Allison Holker of So You Think You Can Dance fame thought she knew with her husband, Stephen (tWitch) Boss, and the aftermath of his suicide. I think memoirs are important because they give the author a chance to share their side of the story, and reflect on the path that led them to where they are in life. This is hard to read as a fan of both of theirs, yet it unveils the reality that everyone is struggling with something. It also shows the remarkable resilience of family and healing. I think it's easy to read this with an eye toward judging what she did or didn't do, but if we look at this as her journey, it is a very emotional read that will stick with the reader.

Thank you to Harper Select and Allison Holker for this heartbreaking yet resilient book. I had to really take my time and absorb her words and how Stephen's death has affected who she is and who her children are. This was a tragedy yet as Allison points out a clear choice. Suicide is just a word it is not the aftermath of what everyone who is left experiences as their loved one is gone yet still and will always have that piece of time of their lives. This is a forever choice, there is no going back. We all saw that smiling, dancing, handsome man, we did not know who he was or what he was facing. Read this book, listen to her pain, and remember there is always a choice.

Thanks to Netgalley and Harper Select for eARC.

Rough book. But that's to be expected when talking about suicide. I think it was handled exceptionally well; the love and hurt are quite clear, to me. Nothing heinous or malicious, just raw honesty and heartbreak. It just....really effing sucks. What happened.

As for the writing style, I prefer memoirs that feel personal, like they're telling the story in person or you're reading their journal, but this had that biography feel to it; like, here's all the facts of this person's life from birth to present! It's not that Allison writes poorly, just that the tone is less my jam versus someone like Augusten Burroughs. Allison covers her early life up into the present in mostly linear fashion and doesn't hold back on any topic, which I appreciate. I highlighted numerous passages; I think this could be helpful to others, be it reevaluating potential signs or seeing in print you're not alone, garnering ideas on how to heal and deal, prompting difficult conversations.

People looking for gore and gossip should look elsewhere.

This was an interesting biography and it was good to learn more about Holker and her life, as well as her relationship with her husband and dance etc... It is definitely one for the fans, and those interested in reading more about how Holker dealt with her husbands tragic death and the aftermath.

I have to come back to this one in time. I tried reading it, but it feels too soon to cash in money for Twitch's pain. It has nothing to do with headlines. Reading the first 1/2 felt inappropriate. I will leave it at that because I have to come back.

I never really liked rating someone else’s story. I feel like the media is portraying Allison Holker to be the villain of the story, but she shouldn’t be. I understand her having everyone sign NDAs to avoid pictures being on the internet and getting to her children’s eyes. It seems like she was going through angry grief while writing, and that’s perfectly normal. At the end of the day, it’s her story and her business. She’s not ruining his legacy; she’s just trying to protect her family during a difficult time.

I want to give a big massive hug to Allison after reading this book. For a couple reasons. First before I read it, I read some reviews. It’s obvious that exactly what she shares in the book about hate is continuing. This book is raw and super honest. What many seem to forget is when you marry someone, you become one. Your life is their life and vice versa. I don’t believe Stephen would have allowed those journals to be read if he didn’t want anyone knowing, he could have easily done away with them. God has a plan and maybe that plan is to share his story with hopes some will recognized signs and get the help they need. The events told in this book and the facts shared are so intimate but also how incredibly healing this must have been. I have not lost anyone in this way but during a long blood cancer journey at 34 I had to navigate grief of the old me and though our stories are different, I could relate to so much. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to read this.

This is a very raw and emotional read. I almost feel like I can't really rate this book as it is the author's experience living her life and her life experiences. That being said, it tugs at the heart strings without a doubt.

I have followed Allison and Stephen's careers on and off since they were first on SYTYCD. When I heard that she had written a memoir (especially given what had happened in her life in the past few years), I was very interested in reading this. Thank you for the ARC. I think the book would have been helped by having a more linear focus - the timeline jumped around a lot, and it was sometimes hard to figure out what year we were in. I think it was mostly well written, but there were some words or phrases that she used occasionally that did not sound like her at all, and made me do a double take. She also mentioned things like trauma she experienced, but she didn't give any details. Why mention it if you're not going to say anything about it and be super vague? It felt a little dishonest. However, it was a very eye-opening look into her life and grief, and how little we can sometimes truly know people, even those who are closest to us. I think the book might have been better with a few more years' of space after Stephen's suicide, because it felt very raw. I hope that in time she finds the healing that she so desperately seems to still need.

I found this to be a deeply personal and moving account of grief, resilience, and healing. I commend her for the bravery she has taken in sharing this. Thank you for the advanced copy.

Allison Holker's memoir takes readers on a journey through her childhood, her life with her late husband, tWitch, and the heartbreaking aftermath of his death. The book offers an intimate glimpse into her emotions, revealing the raw anger and pain she felt being left alone after his passing. While it is undoubtedly her side of the story, it also delves into tWitch’s life through her lens, attempting to make sense of the man he was and the circumstances surrounding his death.

Initially, I was hesitant to read this book, and in hindsight, I almost wish I hadn’t. Although the story sheds light on how she interpreted everything tWitch left behind, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t fully healed when she wrote it. While the emotional weight of her grief is undeniable and the tragedy is heart-wrenching, there’s a sense that she is still processing, perhaps too much so, to share such a personal story with the world. Her reflections are poignant, but there’s a lingering question of whether she can truly know the full truth of what happened, and at times, it feels as though she is speculating rather than offering definitive answers.

In the end, while it’s clear this book comes from a place of deep pain, I’m left wondering if it might have been more beneficial for her, and for the readers, if she had waited until she found more clarity before sharing her journey.*

I did enjoy the vulnerabilities she portrayed but I struggled with the bouncing timelines. I also kept thinking how the kids would read this one day and I feel it could have been articulated differently. But, it’s her story to tell!

I took my time reading 'This Far' by Allison Holker, wanting to offer an accurate review, especially after reading others' opinions.

First, I must commend Allison for her bravery in sharing her story, despite the immense pain she and her family have endured. Her resilience shines through every word. It was inspiring to read about her accomplishments and her upbringing. It's clear she achieved a great deal before meeting Stephen, and they accomplished even more together. She's doing her best to rebuild her life after losing her husband in such a tragic way. Her love for Stephen and her three children is palpable.

That being said, I initially questioned her motivation for writing this book. I tried to empathize with her situation to be as objective as possible. By the end, I understood. I believe she felt compelled to defend herself and share her own narrative. At first, I wondered if there was a need for a defense, but I'm not a celebrity, and I don't have people making assumptions about my life. So, I can't judge her for that.

What she experienced was profoundly tragic, and navigating it alone, while supporting her three children, is beyond comprehension. Her words, 'I would do it all again, you know. I loved Stephen so much that I would do it all over again, even knowing how it would end,' were both heartbreaking and heartwarming. I wish Allison all the best as she continues to heal and move forward.

I believe this book will resonate with anyone who has experienced similar trauma and is seeking a way to understand and navigate their own healing journey.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Select for the complimentary copy.

Allison Holker’s This Far is a deeply personal and moving account of grief, resilience, and healing. In the wake of her husband Stephen “tWitch” Boss’s tragic suicide, Holker shares her journey through unimaginable loss and how she worked to reclaim her life for herself and her children.

This book is not a tell-all of Stephen’s struggles like the tabloids have claimed, nor does it seek to dissect his reasons for leaving. It focuses on Holker’s perspective - her shock, heartbreak, and yes, her anger and confusion surrounding Stephen’s choice. Many have taken issue with Holker writing this book and speaking on her experience, but why shouldn’t she? She doesn’t vilify Stephen, nor does she sugarcoat the reality of being left behind. Instead, she offers an intimate look at the process of rebuilding a life after a devastating loss.

A heartbreaking yet ultimately hopeful memoir, this is Allison’s story and she deserves to tell it.

This was a tough memoir to read and even tougher to review and rate. I’m left not feeling good about this book but it’s tough to explain exactly why.
I never watched SYTYCD or any other dance competitions so going in to this book I didn’t know who Allison was, but I was familiar with tWitch from Ellen.
I am not sure if it is from grief or for other reasons, but the author spends large amounts of the book talking about her anger at Stephen. While I completely understand that it is a completely normal and healthy part of grieving, I am just not sure you would want the children you shared to read all that in years to come.
She also shares intimate details about his life and death, that he is not here to verify or deny. Again, It just sometimes felt in poor taste for me.
It just left me feeling sad. I don’t think I can recommend this one. May you rest in peace Stephen tWitch Boss.

I do want to thank the author, Harper Select, and NetGalley for the eARC. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.

This Far by Allison Holker has definitely received such scrutiny before and since its release. If you take the time to read the book holistically and try to remove all the media negativity, I wonder if you might see a different side. First of all, it is important to note that it has been stated multiple times that the proceeds of this book will go to Move With Kindness - a mental health focused foundation started in the honor and memory of Stephen Boss. That being said, there are so many complexities and questions left behind in tWitch's death that the general reader should never be asked to "take sides".

That's the mentality I went into reading This Far. I knew I could learn something from Holker's words and experience, although I might not agree with all that was said or shared, I can still find empathy in what she went through. I feel she wrote with transparency and the shock she experienced.

I found it sad actually that the families could not come together to share in the talents and wonder of Stephen's life. The drama involve likely has to do with perceptions and connection tied around a family name. That being said, it's not for me to speculate but rather take the time to read the words and look at the situation as objectively as possible. Easier said than done, coming from a fan versus a close family member.

Ultimately, I thank Holker for writing her words and starting the Move With Kindness foundation in tWitch's name. Her loss was heavy and hard and shouldn't be diminished over his family, and kids left behind. Prayers to them all.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Perennial/Harper Select for the opportunity to read and review This Far.

I was always a big fan of the authors late husband "tWitch", and was very familiar with and followed their relationship online. Knowing them both from So You Think You Can Dance, the Ellen show, and their personal accounts online I was always a huge fan, not only of dancing as I've danced all my life, but also as a couple and as people individually that shined with such joy and glowed with just genuine love of life. Hearing the tragic news of his death was horrible, but I am so glad and so proud of Allison for taking the meditative route of making a memoir, not only about her husband and how she and her kids would have to continue on without him, but also as a way to get to know her life better even before her marriage and partnership with "tWitch". I absolutely loved this and cried my eyes out! Five Stars!