I had to sit with this for a day because I honestly wasn't sure what to think. Very bingeable and perfect for a single sitting read.

In some ways, exactly what it said it was. Vampires. On a cruise. This was sexual but not smutty. Queer. Dark one moment and humorous the next. It felt like being inside a narcissists head as their relationship fell apart. In some ways it felt a little disjointed.

I liked the unique take on vampires, it's something I haven't seen before, but over all I think this style of writing was not for me.

Thank you NetGalley and Creature Publishing for the ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I took ages to write this review because I honestly don’t know what to think about this book!! I loved it in so many ways but I also absolutely despised it in many others and idek

I think it just needed to OWN itself not being super serious even more because unfortunately the humour and ott characterisations get lost in the serious background and isn’t anywhere as effective because it just takes itself too seriously and I really wish it didn’t?? Idk if that makes sense but lol it’s been over a month since I read this so oh well

Thank you to NetGalley for my ARC!

A book has never been more Leo coded.

And it was exactly that. Vampires! They're on vacation!

The best way to describe the vibes of this novel is if a Chuck Tingle horror and an Anne RIce vampire story had a baby, and they went on a gay cruise... this is what would happen.

Also if you were looking for something that was very serious, this isn't going to be it. It has serious moments, but it's more a self-absorbed de-evolution of a relationship. It was excellent, and if you like a little mess, and go in knowing that you're probably not going to totally like her pov, but you will be eventually be charmed by her.

It was so good, and I really want more people to love it. And I think the issues most people had was that the vampires weren't the "exact" version of vampires they were expecting, and they had issues with the main character. Which makes me sad, because she's kind of a masterpiece.

Thank you so much to Creature Publishing and Netgalley for an early copy.

This was the most deliciously fun feminist horror vampire read with the best quips scattered throughout.

I really resonated with the FMC and her intolerance for the seemingly superficial nature of the younger generations and how they appear as “shapeshifters” to get what they want (my interpretation) and just how disposable relationships appear to them for their own self gratification.

The humour and wit was fantastic as the fact it was based around the supernatural on a cruise ship.
Hilarious and absolutely 5star writing

1.5 stars.

I really wanted to like this book. Vampires on a queer cruise sounded chaotic and fun but the execution fell flat. Rebekah and Heaven are interesting, messy characters, but I never felt invested in them or their drama.

The sex scenes were confusing and not at all sexy, leaving me wondering what they were even for. Hugh is flat, the horror is nonexistent, and the supposed hedonism never lands. Some lines were so clunky I questioned if an AI wrote them.

The concept is intriguing and the humor hits at times, but overall this was unsatisfying, confusing, and hard to get through. Gorgeous cover but the story itself missed the mark.

Thank you to Netgalley for the eARC of Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum.

I was hoping for more horror from how this book was advertised, but it was not really what I would call horror.

This book didn't end up appealing to me as I read, but I can see why others may really enjoy it!

Check your triggers before starting this one.

This books is a crazy wild ride full of off the wall comments and at times some uncomfortable laughs. It doesn’t take itself too seriously but also hits on some tough topics with a dark sense of humor. It’s a quick read full of sex, blood, desire and lots of gay fun. If you are a fan of vampires and specially What We Do in the Shadows. I highly suggest picking this one up when it comes out! But just know this humor is not for everyone.

The concept instantly drew me in, vampires on the open sea, mixing horror with atmosphere and a touch of the gothic. Lindsay Merbaum has a bold, unapologetic style, and the story definitely doesn’t shy away from sharp edges.

For me, though, the execution was a mixed bag. While I enjoyed the originality and the flashes of dark, eerie imagery, some of the writing felt a little too crude for my taste. The rawness will definitely appeal to readers who like their horror visceral and unfiltered, but personally I found myself wishing for more subtlety and atmosphere instead of shock.

That said, the premise is strong and the pacing kept me curious enough to see it through. It just didn’t fully land in the way I hoped.

🌑 Verdict: 3 stars. A daring and imaginative take on vampire lore that will work for fans of gritty, visceral horror—but if you prefer something more polished or atmospheric, it might not be the right fit.

I think this novella is mis-categorized. I think if you read this while actively asking yourself, "Wouldn't it just be so so funny if there were emotional vampires on a cruise ship and they acted like extremely horny, even more narcissistic Real Housewives all the time?" it could be a comedy. But more often, I found this to be very weird and a little sad. And there is a huge amount of sex in this book. It’s amazing, actually, how much sex happens in <200 pages, and yet somehow, it's not *that* spicy? I can't quite explain it.

But what really kept me off kilter was the constant feeling like I was reading one perspective from a book with multiple POVs. I can honestly say I've never read anything like this, and that's not a criticism. This whole idea is refreshing and completely new. I mean, try it if you’re on the fence! It's very much a novella. And I mean that as a compliment.

Thanks to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for a sneak peek.

"For all the hot queer sluts. You know who you are." Upon reading this dedication, I already knew I would love this book. Dry and morbid humor mixed in with an existential rampage of self reflection and acceptance!
Rebekah and Hugh board an artsy cruise ship thru the Black Sea. Emotional vampires, the couple feed and fuck on despair and desire. After meeting Heaven and being drawn to their presence, Rebekah has to confront her own reflection and Hugh's monsters view of her, leading her to liberation and adventure! This had me laughing and left me disturbed. I love a horror that truly speaks to the depth of human (and inhuman) emotion.

A pair of codependent emotional vampires- Rebekah feeds on sex, Hugh feeds on sadness- pursue a nonbinary influencer as a third on a gay cruise and everything goes to shit. (Or- Oops! All Narcissists!)

I read this novella on the train in one day and had a good time. It’s a bit of a mess but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. Every character kind of sucks but it’s short enough and silly enough that this didn’t make me disengage like I sometimes do when there’s not anyone to root for.

I wish we’d gotten a bit more of Heaven, Hugh, and Rebekah’s pasts- Merbaum leans on characters not remembering their origins to keep all the details and world building a bit fuzzy- but again the length and tone made the fuzziness of the world alright for the duration.

I had a good time. I feel like I’ve seen the Hugh/Rebekah couple at artsy queer gatherings and Merbaum’s sense of humor is so biting and fun, but I think the squishiness of the world outside of the central story stops it from being anything more. An enjoyable way to spend a train ride.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

This book was unlike anything I’ve ever read before—super weird, completely indulgent, and I loved every minute of it.

Meet Rebekah and Hugh/Hugo: a pair of immortal emotional vampires, her with a hunger for lust and praise, him for despair and sorrow. Together for centuries, since before Rebekah can remember, they’ve stood by each other through everything. Hugo is a world-famous artist (which only adds to his allure), and when the two receive invitations to a queer Black Sea Cruise, they leap at the chance. As Rebekah reminds us constantly, “We’re on vacation!” What follows is unrestrained hedonism, every want and need pursued,until a glamorous nonbinary influencer named Heaven (possibly magical, definitely fabulous) enters the picture. Rebekah hates them on sight. Hugh, however, is enthralled.

What’s wild about this novella is that it shouldn’t work, but it does. The narration is locked into Rebekah’s self-centered POV, and she truly does not care about anything outside herself. There’s a war in the background, though we never find out who’s fighting. She doesn’t care. People vanish or get thrown overboard... whatever. She’s here to live her best undead life. This laser-focused narcissism is so unique and oddly refreshing for a vampire story.

The tone isn’t the constant, rollicking comedy the blurb might suggest. It’s sly, biting, and absurd, with a vein of smutty horror running through it. Honestly, it feels like a What We Do in the Shadows spinoff… but with even more sex. (And yet somehow unsexy sex.)

And I freaking loved the ending. Totally unexpected. The self-centered character decides to focus on herself for a while, and it still feels empowering in a "you go girl" kind of way.

This novella is bold, bizarre, and unapologetically itself. I applaud the author for pulling it off.

While I love the idea of the book it sadly wasnt my taste of writing style so I didnt got mysef to finish it!

This book is insane, in a fun way. Great character building, fun plot lines. I'm interested in seeing what else this author has out there.

I didn’t realize that the vampires could be too horny, but apparently, there is a line.
I had high hopes for this book. “A smutty horror-comedy” combined with a very interesting cover grabbed my attention. Unfortunately, nothing else about the book did. Smut, yes. A little too much. Horror? Barely. The vampires feed on emotions, not blood. The MC feeds off horniness and her husband feeds off sadness. There is a running background plot of people disappearing and being thrown off the cruise ship but the narrator does not care about anyone but herself so this is never investigated. Comedy? No. The writing is crass and most attempts at comedy were of the “I’m better than these human gay people with their rainbows and their enthusiasm for life”. It felt like punching down (at one point the MC refers to other characters as d*kes and it was clearly meant as an insult). The blurb did warn of unbridled narcissism and damn, it was in fact unbridled narcissism. I don’t know if I’ve ever hated a main character more and I genuinely couldn’t tell what Rebekah’s motivations were. She talks about her husband as if she’s tired of him and he’s barely good enough for her, but gods forbid he gets interested in something else. The ending was confusing and technically wrapped up the plot points, but quite terribly.
Thank you to Netgalley and Creature Publishing for the review copy, all opinions are my own.
As this review is not very postive I will only be sharing it on goodreads and storygraph, not my other social medias.

Special thanks to Creature Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC of this book.

I have to admit the cover and title pulled me in to an unenjoyable read for me. It's definitely not a horror and it takes place on a cruise ship for 2 weeks. Rebekah was a selfish unlikable character, as a matter of fact all the characters were pretty unlikable. And I'm not big on sexual books, but the sex parts were not at all sexy. The characters were toxic and I really wanted to like it, but I just could not get with this one at all. 2.8 rounded to a 3.

this was unfortunately not for me at all. the cover and concept pulled me in but the execution just fell completely flat.

all of the characters were not only unlikable but incredibly bland. Rebekah likes to think she's so hot and interesting but her inner monologue just had me roll my eyes constantly. also for a book with so much sex, it's the unsexiest thing i've ever read. dry and uninteresting, crass non descriptions of sex which could *almost* be interesting if Rebekah had any real arc at all.

the underlying homophobia in this supposedly queer book was also jarring at times? i'm not sure what to make of some of the things Rebekah says about the other people on the boat.

i expected sexy scary vampires but the horror elements were barely present at all. the ending felt rushed and unsatisfying to me.

— thank you NetGalley for providing a free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A disturbing story of queer creatures, vampires if you will, that feed off human emotions - while on a vacation cruise in the Black Sea they meet another creature and are seduced into its thrall

Other reviews ask how is this horror, I ask how is this not - slightly gory but full of creeping dread whilst still a social commentary of who or what the truly bad guys are and the society we have created that feeds them

A strange and at times unsettling book. It's not quite clear what's happening in the outside world beyond the cruise ship - it seems the world is in a warped state of war encroaching at every moment and day to day mundanity continuing. Which of course is quite accurate to how societies do respond. The characters are all toxic as hell, pursuing their worst impulses carelessly and selfishly. Something of a character study of terrible people and how they indulge or break their own patterns

3.5 (rounded to 4)

The first thing you need to know about this book is that it's silly-goofy. You'll see other reviews criticising it's horniness and wanton disregard for anyone other than the MCs - but that's the *point*.

Rebekah, the FMC and first person viewpoint narrator, is entirely vain and self-obsessed, but that’s because she feeds off of the adoration and lust of others. The only person she cares about other than herself is her husband Hugh (although she does often do things she knows he wouldn’t enjoy); they have been together since before she can remember (the trouble with being an ancient vampire is of course that memories fade, or change) and she cannot picture life without him. She’s bored and takes them on a queer cruise, fucking just about everyone she comes across. Until Heaven. Heaven is a fabulous non-binary supernatural creature of some sort, and Rebekah hates them on sight. Hugh, however, is enthralled, so she has no choice but to let it play out.

None of the characters are likeable - but again, that’s the *point*. Rebekah is so self-absorbed that she notices people going missing or being murdered and simply moves on with her day. Hugh is incredibly boring. Heaven is a vapid influencer who speaks like they're addressing an audience. It’s told with such a light and silly tone that it’s an incredibly enjoyable read, as long as you go into it knowing that there are no morals to learn here, there is no deep message the author is trying to convey. It’s just a fun time.

The ending does leave a little to be desired, as I felt like it all moved a little too fast for me, and I would have liked to see a few more consequences play out. I’d happily read a sequel to this little novella, from a different POV or simply Rebekah roaming another continent and leaving mess in her wake. I support women’s wrongs.