A punchy feverdream of a novella. Compelling, but not quite pleasant. A queer, gothic edged romp through the eyes of a narrator both hilarious and horrifying. This reminded me both of Soft Core, a fairly recent publication, and Money, a much older one, perhaps because there is such a sameness in how Vampires at Sea presents the un-ameliorated, uncensored, starkly honest grossness and awfulness and wonderfulness of humans.

Short, Unique, Close. 4 stars.

wasn’t a fan, until i was.

though this is advertised as a smutty horror-comedy, the smut wasn’t as detailed as i expected, and i didn’t laugh once. i’m not saying the jokes fell flat, i could recognize that jokes were there, it just wasn’t enough to get even a chuckle. the promo falls short.

i didn’t see the horror aspect of the book, either. yes, it had sex, horror, and comedy, but it wasn’t as present as i was made to believe, or brushed over. only there as background noise. now granted i do think if it had been crammed with all that it wouldn’t have been as good. the story would’ve been lost.

something i liked? um. the pace. it was quick and easy. the question of who or what heaven was enough to keep me curious.

i liked it, but i didn’t love it. there’s a difference between those two things. it was good to where i finished it but not brilliant enough that i would recommend it. it’s an excellent palate cleanser, something to restart or ease your brain before jumping into another book.

rebekah had a tendency to close her eyes when the looks of certain things started to overwhelm her. she’d get anxious and angry about hugh and heaven, but as soon as he came back to her, all her worries got pushed aside and she would think it’d all be okay. it was strange and felt like a carousel, that mind game, i believe, was the most horror there was.

the end was a surprise to me, but not out of character. i actually believe the ending to be super fitting for rebekah’s character and the continuation of her story.

Unfortunately, this book didn’t work for me. I went into it with certain expectations, and it ended up being something completely different, in a way that left me feeling disconnected from the story.

I struggled to find any real meaning or direction in the plot. I kept wondering where it was all going. The characters didn’t help either, I found them hard to relate to. As a result, I wasn’t invested in what happened to them.

That said, one thing I did appreciate was the representation, and that’s something I always value in literature.

Overall, this wasn’t the book for me.

This book was a trip. Literally, a trip on a ship. And I had fun reading it! I thought Rebekah was an intriguing protagonist and her journey from secure in her partnership with Hugh to concerned to jealous to frighteningly possessive was a riot to read.

The social commentary abounded and truthfully I think the book is worth a second read for me to appreciate the nuances. The way that all of the supernatural creatures fed on different emotions and manipulated their fellow cruisers was fascinating to me. This was a truly enjoyable, odd, lusty read!

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an ARC of this story.
SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

This was an odd story and I don't think I particularly liked it. I didn't feel like rooting for any of the characters. They were all selfish and self-centered and annoying honestly. (Although I did like Misha when he first appeared. He was the most intriguing of the bunch.) The atmosphere of the whole novel was interesting but it can't endear someone to the characters. I've always enjoyed vampires but these guys didn't seem ot feed like normal vampires. Rebekka did at first but Hugh seemed to fee off of misery which was interesting.

Finished reading:
Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum
__________

⭐⭐⭐⭐,5/5
Pages: 168
Format: e-book
Genre: LGBTQIA+, Fantasy, Horror
Publication date: 7 October 2025
__________

First and foremost, thank you @netgalley and @pickyourpotions for granting me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Here goes nothing!

I truly enjoyed this book. The moment I knew this was gonna come out somewhere this year, and I read the blurb, I knew I was going to love this one.

We follow a married couple of vampires, that decided to make a journey on a cruise ship for queer people. These Vampires are not your usual vampires though. They don't drink your blood, but feed on your emotions, which I absolutely loved too!

We have Rebekah, who feeds on the lust and desire and arousal people feel for her. She always puts on a show, and feeds off the people that watch her. She is the one that usually engages in any sexual activities, while Hugh watches.
And then, we have Hugo (Rebekah calls him Hugh), who feeds on people's pain, misery, sadness and all those kinds of feelings. Hugh is an artist, who paints and takes photographs, and 1 of his art pieces has made him famous (Lilitu). The picture shows such a depressing and painful image, that the people who see it, immediately feel overwhelmed with their own pain and sadness, which Hugh uses to his advantage.

They got onto the cruise, because Rebekah wanted to and they thought it was going to be a good time for both of them, but the 14 days on the cruise would not go as planned...

This book is fast-paced, riddled with dark humour, a lot of sexy scenes and intriguing characters and here and there some horror elements mixed into it all.

The only reason I did not give it 5 stars was because I still had some lingering unsolved questions on my mind, but that did not keep me from enjoying the book and the ending 🥰

This was such a fun take on modern vampires, and the relationships are key, as they should be. THank you for sharing with us.

Sadly, this wasn't for me. "Vampires at Sea" reeled me in with the premise of a queer cruise gone awry, but it failed to meet my expectations. I usually love reading through the eye's of hard-to-like characters but Rebecca made me bored. Her character felt so one dimensional, only fueled by sex and jealousy, and delivered no chemistry between her and her supposed lover for centuries. Upon first glance, I didn't expect the plot to revolve so fully around sex, but obviously didn't go in blind assuming there would be none. Rather, I found that almost the entire plot was just sexual moments and the main character's thoughts, but that these were bland and felt staged. Reading this felt like reading the concept of smut through the eyes of someone who has never engaged with anyone sexually, nor read any smut to try to understand the intricacies of human (or rather, inhuman in this case) connection. I'm sad to have been let down by such an interesting premise, title, and beautiful cover.

Thank you NetGalley for this arc! I was drawn to the synopsis and the cover of the book. I’d rate this closer to 2.75 stars. I believe it had potential, but just wasn’t for me. I do love the vampire aspect, but it was hard to follow at some spots. Very short read though!

This was a delightfully sexy story. Felt like reading a deadly cat and mouse only with both characters acting as predator. Rebekah is gloriously famished and there's a delicious angst there to her never being able to fully satisfy her appetite.

¿Qué podría pasar si una pareja de vampiros se embarcan en un crucero queer?
Probablemente te estás imaginando un gran festín, chorros de sangre y momentos de mucha pasión. Bueno, pues dejame decirte que solo una de las 3 cosas se cumple.
Los vampiros que vemos en esta historia llevan una dieta diferente, lo que permite tener una historia adaptada a nuestra época en donde probablemente un vampiro como Drácula se sentiría fuera de lugar y se replantearía el volver a acercarse a los humanos.

Vampires at sea es la clase de libro que buscas para un maratón de lectura pues tiene una trama entretenida y es bastante corto.

Me hubiera gustado tener algunas páginas más para conocer a la encatadora Rebeka y cómo es que termino emparejada a alguien tan plano como Hugh.

Gracias a la editorial y NetGalley por la oportunidad de leer el ARC.

Immortal beloveds Rebekah and Hugh are on vacation! Against a backdrop of ongoing war, this pair of chic emotional vampires from San Francisco sets off on a queer Black Sea Cruise, eager to relax, join an orgy, and feast upon their fellow passengers’ desires and sorrows. When Hugh becomes enchanted by an alluring–and possibly magical–nonbinary social media influencer named Heaven, Rebekah’s reality capsizes, and her true nature is unleashed.

A smutty horror-comedy featuring unbridled narcissism, Vampires at Sea is a hilarious snack!

Lindsay Merbaum’s Vampires at Sea is a novella that gleefully subverts expectations—a queer, horror-comedy mashup set on a Black Sea cruise, starring an emotionally fraught vampire couple from San Francisco. Rebekah and Hugh board the cruise hoping for relaxation, indulgence, and maybe an orgy or two, but what unfolds is a campy, self-aware exploration of narcissism, toxic love, and the messiness of queer relationships—all against the surreal backdrop of ongoing war and supernatural hijinks. Vampires at Sea is quick, weird, and definitely not your typical vampire story—think more orgy than opera cape, more emotional mess than gothic brooding. If you’re looking for something different in queer horror, this one’s worth a look.

DNF @ 6% which might be a new record

why did i DNF? i’ll quote the narrator (who is a bisexual woman BTW): “two d*kes behind [the counter] who look like they could build a fire and fix your laptop at the same time. Their eyes light up at the sight of me because I'm hot as fuck.”

the D word should not be said by anyone other than lesbians, and that’s directly from the mouths of lesbians. this was absolutely used in a derogatory way and that’s enough for me.

I enjoyed this in the same way I’d enjoy candy floss: it’s fun, it’s light, but it’s not particularly filling.

From the off, this felt like a Nadja and Laszlo fan fiction, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing by any means (love me a fanfic) but it did feel like it was written as an AU to them being separated at the end of season 3 (spoilers for wwdits I guess!)

I liked how shamelessly sex positive this was, and it was definitely a fun read, and a great one for spooky season, but I would’ve loved to delve deeper into the characters outside of their “locked room” setting,

I found this book to be an enjoyable read. The story kept me engaged from start to finish and had some moments that really stood out. Overall, it offered an entertaining reading experience.

Actual rating 2.0-3.0 stars.

Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum is a spicy queer novella about vampires on a cruise during a global war, who encounter a nonbinary influencer named Heaven. Initially planning to incorporate Heaven as a third partner, immortal couple Rebekah and Hugh instead become embroiled in a greater mystery than they'd bargained for.

I will admit, part of my lackluster experience with this book may be my fault--I was hoping for something more along the lines of Vampirates by Justin Somper but queer; this is not that. This is rich people being shallow and awful to each other and cruise ship staff, with more of an influencer focus than a vampire one. While the "feeding on emotions" vampire rendering was interesting (if not original--it's been done before, though more PG and described in less detail), the spice, though prevalent...was boring. This felt like an Only Lovers Left Alive premise but without fun music and instead using queerness as a backdrop like businesses "celebrating" Pride Month for profit (ironic, since the author is queer as well). The polyamorous relationship felt more like a badly executed love triangle trope, and if it was meant to be satire, it didn't really land. I'm glad this was a short book... I would have struggled to finish it if it was a longer novel. In short, this was not the book for me, but perhaps it is for others.

Readers who like this novella may also enjoy: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, I'm Not Done With You Yet and You Will Never Be Me by Jesse Q. Sutanto, and other elite vampire tales.

Vampires at Sea was an unexpected and interesting read! It was both humorous and thoughtful, I appreciated the unexpected turns that took and the empowering storyline of the main character.

I don’t really know how to feel about this book. However, I couldn’t put it down. I would say my rating is 3.5 starts more than 4 but NetGalley doesn’t let you do half star ratings.

We following two vampires (what type of vampires I can’t figure out- is it emotional? Sexual? What is going on) Rebecca and Hugh/Hugo while they travel the Black Sea on some kind weird creature sex cruise. There they meet their Unicorn Heaven. However, there is a lot of jealousy from Rebecca’s pov. While she tries to discover what Heaven is and what they want with Hugh/Hugo.

I thought the writing was funny at times, but a bit long winded at other times. And I’m gonna be completely honest, a good bit of this book, I had no idea what the point was. Like what was the book trying to say?

Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum is a captivating read, rich with gothic atmosphere that truly draws you into its world. The story’s unique setting on the high seas adds an adventurous and refreshing twist to traditional vampire lore, making it feel both new and intriguing. Merbaum’s writing style is vivid and engaging, skillfully painting an eerie world filled with complex, well-developed characters. While I thoroughly enjoyed the imaginative plot and the immersive mood, there were a few moments where the pacing slowed down, which briefly pulled me out of the story.