The Run-Down: Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum has a fun supernatural premise and setting, but its attempt at satire unfortunately comes across as meanspirited and homophobic rather than clever.


Review:
The title of Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum is accurate; it follows two married immortal vampires who decide to embark on a queer art cruise. These vampires in this story do not drink blood; each vampire feeds off of a particular human emotion. Rebekah is a vampire who feasts on people’s desire for her, and she finds a cornucopia of carnal desire on the orgy-friendly queer cruise. Jealousy, however, threatens to ruin her vacation when her husband Hugo falls under the spell of a shapeshifting demon named Heaven.

Vampires at Sea is intended to be a satire of certain rich queer people and how they value rainbow capitalism, sexual gratification, and inane vanity over everything else. Our protagonist and her husband fit right into this crowd, as their supernatural status affords them the ability to get pretty much whatever they want, whenever they want and prey on other people’s emotions. It is interesting to see an immortal, seemingly untouchable being such as Rebekah wrongfooted as she navigates the all-too-human quagmire of amorous jealousy. Additionally, the queer cruise ship setting and the wild hedonism of the main characters are fairly entertaining in a surface-level way, but the Merbaum’s satirical commentary isn’t funny enough to be effective. Without the humor, the jabs at rich queer people simply feel meanspirited and bitter. Although the author is queer and the novella is pitched as a blend of queer camp/smut/horror, there is something about it that feels rather homophobic and transphobic. Perhaps it is because our vampiric protagonists Rebekah and Hugo appear to have little connection with queerness as an identity. They have a polyamorous relationship and participate in orgies with people of various genders, but this queerness a byproduct of their monstrous, immortal desires rather than their lingering connection to humanity. In other words, they’re not monstrous because they are queer (and therefore othered, mocked, shunned), but rather queer because they are monstrous (the implication being that they’re hot vampires—of course they’re going to use their powers to fuck a bunch of hot people).The human LGBTQ+ people on the cruise ship, meanwhile, are painted as objects of ridicule in Merbaum’s clumsy satire. The most uncomfortable element of all this is that the story’s antagonist is a nonbinary demon named Heaven who uses their shapeshifting powers to deceive and seduce others. Anyone familiar with the patterns of transphobia will recognize the potential problem with that character choice. Whereas the foibles of the human queer people are depicted with tolerant disdain, and the equally predatory tendencies of the vampires treated with some degree of levity and sympathy, Heaven is portrayed as genuinely predatory—their brand of queer narcissism is the only one treated by the narrative as a serious threat. On the whole, the story does not feel like a valuable critique of queer culture, but rather an expression of unresolved bitterness and discomfort with queerness itself.


Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was okay, I understand its meant to be a short book, but I feel like so there were so many plot holes that got rushed to be solved / uncovered towards the end and the pacing was super off. I thought the idea of what creature Heaven was unique and I did enjoy some of the smuttier scenes, but the book was just super rushed and at times the writing was eh for me.
Thank you to Netgalley and Creature Publishing for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I have never felt so conflicted while reading something. I thoroughly enjoyed it, it was beautifully written and had me hooked from the first page, but I also felt almost listless while reading. I think this is ultimately the effect of living in the back of our MC Rebekah's brain, as she swings between mania and catatonia over the degradation of the relationship between herself and her immortal companion Hugh. I struggle to explain what about this made me like it but the truth is it simply captivated me. The scathing critiques of modern queer culture, the lush descriptions of Rebekah's desires, the unexplained but ever present war. I won't forget about this novella for a long time.

I really really didn't like this.
I was going to DNF but then I thought it was so brief and maybe reaching the end might give me some answers but no. Just no.
It's a no for the vampire mythology and how they're portrayed; it's a no for the tone because it was supposed to be fun —according to the description— but there was nothing funny or playful; it's a no for the orgies... yes I'm saying it! I've read my fair share of smut in my days and it's not high literature nor is it always well written but it is usually entertaining. This? this was error 404 not found. It's continuously hinted they're doing stuff but we never get to experience the stuff, there is nothing erotic or romantic or playful. It's just "and she goes into the dancefloor and has sex with a dozen people." .... OKAY?!
And to worsen things I had the impression of an epic story in a couple of scenes which completely crashes with the playful vampire novella theme this is supposed to follow.

On the positive side: the idea was original and the character of Heaven was interesting and honestly trying to understand what they were was the only thing that got me to stay.

Good idea, bad execution (in my opinion)

❁ Thank you to Netgalley, Lindsay Merbaum and Creature Publishing for the opportunity to read the ARC of this in exchange of my honest opinion ❁

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the advanced copy!

That was not what I expected after reading the synopsis of this book, which is such a shame because I was so excited for it. Unfortunately, it wasn't horror and it wasn't funny.

At first it was quirky, but it got very boring very fast. I know it's a novella, but it felt unfinished and under explored. The story itself is confusing at times and many scenes felt like they were not finished before we moved on to another part of it, making it hard to follow those characters.

In the end, it was rather underwhelming as a whole, with my expectations too high, and my assumptions on what the story was supposed to be... off.

This book was quite entertaining for sure, but at the same time there were some things I didn't like.

What I enjoyed:
- how it's written, with a narration full of irony and funny stuff;
- the queer representation;
- the idea of an ancient married vampire couple going on a modern cruise for vacation;
- how vampires' power are represented, feeding on emotions and enchanting people around them;
- the vulgar / smutty vibes;
- Heaven, that was such a good Nemesis to Rebekah and such an interesting creature;
- the book being short (all the story is shrinked in 14 days);
- the cover's graphic and colour.

What I didn't particularly like:
- Hugh, who had a lot of potential but didn't really bloom for me;
- some things that were never totally cleared nor explained (the war? The people disappearing? Bekha's flashbacks?)
- Misha, who I thought will be an important character but in the end he only was an extra in the story;
- Rebekha constantly changing her attitude and thoughts about Hugh and Heaven, being jealous towards her husband and wanting him back but then not wanting him anymore.

I think this book could be a lot better with a little bit of adjustment here and there, but even so it is particular and good to read.

Vampires at Sea

Firstly I’m going to start off by saying this little book is exquisitely written. Its full of witty one liners that left me chuckling.

Vampires at Sea is just that. Vampire couple, Rebekah and Husband Hugh, head off on a cruise. They are not your normal vampires, we are not sucking people dry here, well not from blood anyways but from emotions. It’s an interesting concept which left me thinking about ‘what we do in the shadows’, Colin Robinson. Which in itself made me chuckle. I can’t help it, if you know the show... you will understand. Much like What we do in the shadows, I found this book hilarious.
Rebekah, who is wholly the one telling us this story is very promiscuous, i love that about her. Especially the way she tells us about the orgies and sexual advances she accepts. Her personality shines, and honestly i could see us being best friends.
Husband Hugh, is an artist. He’s shy, totally introverted into himself, and honestly, i don’t know how he would survive without Rebekah. They are very much like chalk and cheese, Rebekah is the one that shines brightly, while Hugh would gladly let her do so.

Well, that is until they meet a non-binary shape-shifter. Heaven, who instantly wants everything Rebekah has to offer, including her beloved Hugh.

I loved the mystery, I loved the summer vibes. I just wish it was a tad longer, I wanted more than anything to spend more time with these characters.

Thank you to Net galley, and creature publishing for this splendid little read. I thoroughly enjoyed the adventure

thank you to netgalley and creature publishing for the arc

this is a good bite sized novella !! i lovedd the strong narrative voice and how irritable rebekah was (genuinely i would react similarly i think,, but that’s why i couldn’t be in an open relationship i think). a lot of people were saying the ending felt rushed; I completely disagree i think it matched the pacing of the rest of the book.

there's one part that gets a bit too meta for me: "Not enough time has passed, too few scenes have gone by, we are not yet far along enough in the story for this" (pg. 50 in arc). Felt really different in the voice/tone than the rest of the book and it took me out of the story for a second.

anyways, i had fun! and i really enjoyed when the MC called Jesus an “effeminate anorexic”

I was entertained for the duration of this novella, it was campy and smutty and interesting and bold. I really enjoyed the writing style and I found Rebekah to be a compelling and unique main character. It reminded me of What We Do In The Shadows which I LOVE and overall I think it is worth a read for sure if you enjoy that show!

Where this book fell short for me was the world building and lore. A novella should leave you wanting more as in “I want more because it was so good” not wanting more as in “I want more because I don’t understand the setting of the book nor the context of the characters”. There was this unexplained and seemingly random war, bursts of memories from the past that had no tie in to the future, and missing components to the ship itself.

What I was expecting but it was not this!
There is no introduction it just jumps in to characters at first I thought they were already on the cruise ship but they weren’t the amount of swearing and sex talk is completely unnecessary it’s taking away from the book not adding to it. 20 pages in and I still don’t know what’s going on. This one I will not be finishing

devastated by how much i disliked this. i love vampires in pretty much any iteration but this was actually just bad erotica disguised as a horror/fantasy about vampires
and it was also boring so complete L to me

This was a fun little romp. The author acknowledges their inspiration from What We Do In the Shadows and it shows - not in a bad way, its fun and I appreciate they are honest.

We have queer poly emotional vampires on vacation. Having another partner is one thing, another bit of fun, but when that fun starts to turn into feelings, into something that isn't right, our MFC is forced to try and save her beloved, as well as come to terms with a lot of things she had been trying to ignore, about herself, about her relationship and about boxes she has been crafting in her mind.

I get that this is a novella, a short story, but the hints at the wider world boarder on frustrating. There is war and plague - just war, any war, except the reaction to those wars make you wonder what exactly is going on out there. I also found the writing a little much at times, there was description dripping from every line and sometimes a spade can just be a spade. But it was still fun.

An enjoyable, fast paced romp that doesn't outstay its welcome and an author to watch out for!

Married vampires Rebekah and Hugh find themselves on vacation on a cruiseship on the black sea. On this cruise they meet Heaven and Hugh is immediately sold on this mysterious new stranger. Rebekah, our narrator, however isn't and she wants to find out what Heaven's endgoal is.

Oh boy. I thought, based on the description, that this would be something I could like, but sadly the opposite was true. It took 7 pages for the narrator to reveal anything about herself. Because the book starts out with her talking about her husband, Hugh of Hugo.
The concept of vampires in this book was quite confusing as well. So they don’t live on blood and more on energy? The whole description gave me more of succubus/incubus vibes than actual vampires.
When they start to talk about a painting Hugh made, the author expects you to fill in all the blanks yourself. I didn't vibe with that either. The narrator can't or won't remember any names, be it people on the boat or a past lover, she apparently doesn't give a shit. At first it was quirky, but it got very boring very fast.
The smut is on the surface and nothing to write home about. So no redeeming quality on that part either.
The ending left me unsatisfied and more confused than before I started the story and that says a lot in my opinion.

All in all I was surprised at the shortness of the story in the beginning, but at the end I'm glad it wasn't any longer.

And to end I want to say that I got this book as an eARC to give my honest review about. I want to thank Netgalley, Creature Publishing and the author for this opportunity. I hope this book can find its intended audience, because it clearly wasn't for me.

this one could have benefitted from more time in the drafts. i know it's a novella and is meant to be short, but it felt unfinished and under explored. queer cruises sound cool as heck though

Not for me, unfortunately. 2.5 stars.

For the most part, a quick and easy read, but the writing and characters are kinda shallow and underdeveloped. It felt like there was an interesting premise somewhere in there, but the straggling plotlines and relationships buried it.

The style of prose was too casual, too online, for my liking, but I'm sure it would work for some people.

3.5*

We‘re on vacation!

This was a fun little novella filled with weirdness, lust and beautiful writing.

The characters were mostly well fleshed out, i just feel like it could’ve been more. Heaven and Rebekah are well written. You could really feel inside Rebekahs mind and feelings. However, Hughs character should’ve been more thought out. The plot could’ve also been a bit more. There were some parts left unexplored that could’ve still been written without erasing the mysterious feel that i think we were supposed to be left with.

This is my first read and review for NetGalley, I had no idea what to expect when I started reading this, but I absolutely devoured this book. It was queer, vampires and smut? I found it be something very unique. Although, I predicted a couple of things, the details and the way it all turned out did surprise me! I will definitely be recommending this book to people when it gets published!

This book was too fast paced for me to really enjoy, and the smutty parts were almost too fade to black. Could definitely use more fleshing out as a story.

Rating 1.5 rounded up.

When I first read the premise I was excited about this read. I do enjoy a good vampire story. But right out of the gate I realized that this was just not for me. The story is well written its just not what I thought it would be. If you are more into contemporary versions of vampire stories then you may enjoy this. I never really feel any attachment to our married couple Rebekah and Hugh. There is nothing about them that I can become emotionally attached to so I found myself loosing interest. Overall the story just gave me a party club kind of vibe and that is not what I am looking for in a vampire story.

1.5🌟

An utter disappointment, which is such a shame because I was so excited for it. It wasnt horror and it wasn't funny. All the characters were thoroughly dislikeable and where was the lore behind any of the creatures? By the time anything of interest actually happened, I didn't care. The only positive thing was the queer representation. Disliking a vampire novel hurts me to my core.

Please just call this what it was: smut with a tiny bit of plot.