Sadly, this wasn't for me. "Vampires at Sea" reeled me in with the premise of a queer cruise gone awry, but it failed to meet my expectations. I usually love reading through the eye's of hard-to-like characters but Rebecca made me bored. Her character felt so one dimensional, only fueled by sex and jealousy, and delivered no chemistry between her and her supposed lover for centuries. Upon first glance, I didn't expect the plot to revolve so fully around sex, but obviously didn't go in blind assuming there would be none. Rather, I found that almost the entire plot was just sexual moments and the main character's thoughts, but that these were bland and felt staged. Reading this felt like reading the concept of smut through the eyes of someone who has never engaged with anyone sexually, nor read any smut to try to understand the intricacies of human (or rather, inhuman in this case) connection. I'm sad to have been let down by such an interesting premise, title, and beautiful cover.

Thank you NetGalley for this arc! I was drawn to the synopsis and the cover of the book. I’d rate this closer to 2.75 stars. I believe it had potential, but just wasn’t for me. I do love the vampire aspect, but it was hard to follow at some spots. Very short read though!

This was a delightfully sexy story. Felt like reading a deadly cat and mouse only with both characters acting as predator. Rebekah is gloriously famished and there's a delicious angst there to her never being able to fully satisfy her appetite.

¿Qué podría pasar si una pareja de vampiros se embarcan en un crucero queer?
Probablemente te estás imaginando un gran festín, chorros de sangre y momentos de mucha pasión. Bueno, pues dejame decirte que solo una de las 3 cosas se cumple.
Los vampiros que vemos en esta historia llevan una dieta diferente, lo que permite tener una historia adaptada a nuestra época en donde probablemente un vampiro como Drácula se sentiría fuera de lugar y se replantearía el volver a acercarse a los humanos.

Vampires at sea es la clase de libro que buscas para un maratón de lectura pues tiene una trama entretenida y es bastante corto.

Me hubiera gustado tener algunas páginas más para conocer a la encatadora Rebeka y cómo es que termino emparejada a alguien tan plano como Hugh.

Gracias a la editorial y NetGalley por la oportunidad de leer el ARC.

Immortal beloveds Rebekah and Hugh are on vacation! Against a backdrop of ongoing war, this pair of chic emotional vampires from San Francisco sets off on a queer Black Sea Cruise, eager to relax, join an orgy, and feast upon their fellow passengers’ desires and sorrows. When Hugh becomes enchanted by an alluring–and possibly magical–nonbinary social media influencer named Heaven, Rebekah’s reality capsizes, and her true nature is unleashed.

A smutty horror-comedy featuring unbridled narcissism, Vampires at Sea is a hilarious snack!

Lindsay Merbaum’s Vampires at Sea is a novella that gleefully subverts expectations—a queer, horror-comedy mashup set on a Black Sea cruise, starring an emotionally fraught vampire couple from San Francisco. Rebekah and Hugh board the cruise hoping for relaxation, indulgence, and maybe an orgy or two, but what unfolds is a campy, self-aware exploration of narcissism, toxic love, and the messiness of queer relationships—all against the surreal backdrop of ongoing war and supernatural hijinks. Vampires at Sea is quick, weird, and definitely not your typical vampire story—think more orgy than opera cape, more emotional mess than gothic brooding. If you’re looking for something different in queer horror, this one’s worth a look.

DNF @ 6% which might be a new record

why did i DNF? i’ll quote the narrator (who is a bisexual woman BTW): “two d*kes behind [the counter] who look like they could build a fire and fix your laptop at the same time. Their eyes light up at the sight of me because I'm hot as fuck.”

the D word should not be said by anyone other than lesbians, and that’s directly from the mouths of lesbians. this was absolutely used in a derogatory way and that’s enough for me.

I enjoyed this in the same way I’d enjoy candy floss: it’s fun, it’s light, but it’s not particularly filling.

From the off, this felt like a Nadja and Laszlo fan fiction, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing by any means (love me a fanfic) but it did feel like it was written as an AU to them being separated at the end of season 3 (spoilers for wwdits I guess!)

I liked how shamelessly sex positive this was, and it was definitely a fun read, and a great one for spooky season, but I would’ve loved to delve deeper into the characters outside of their “locked room” setting,

I found this book to be an enjoyable read. The story kept me engaged from start to finish and had some moments that really stood out. Overall, it offered an entertaining reading experience.

Actual rating 2.0-3.0 stars.

Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum is a spicy queer novella about vampires on a cruise during a global war, who encounter a nonbinary influencer named Heaven. Initially planning to incorporate Heaven as a third partner, immortal couple Rebekah and Hugh instead become embroiled in a greater mystery than they'd bargained for.

I will admit, part of my lackluster experience with this book may be my fault--I was hoping for something more along the lines of Vampirates by Justin Somper but queer; this is not that. This is rich people being shallow and awful to each other and cruise ship staff, with more of an influencer focus than a vampire one. While the "feeding on emotions" vampire rendering was interesting (if not original--it's been done before, though more PG and described in less detail), the spice, though prevalent...was boring. This felt like an Only Lovers Left Alive premise but without fun music and instead using queerness as a backdrop like businesses "celebrating" Pride Month for profit (ironic, since the author is queer as well). The polyamorous relationship felt more like a badly executed love triangle trope, and if it was meant to be satire, it didn't really land. I'm glad this was a short book... I would have struggled to finish it if it was a longer novel. In short, this was not the book for me, but perhaps it is for others.

Readers who like this novella may also enjoy: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, I'm Not Done With You Yet and You Will Never Be Me by Jesse Q. Sutanto, and other elite vampire tales.

Vampires at Sea was an unexpected and interesting read! It was both humorous and thoughtful, I appreciated the unexpected turns that took and the empowering storyline of the main character.

I don’t really know how to feel about this book. However, I couldn’t put it down. I would say my rating is 3.5 starts more than 4 but NetGalley doesn’t let you do half star ratings.

We following two vampires (what type of vampires I can’t figure out- is it emotional? Sexual? What is going on) Rebecca and Hugh/Hugo while they travel the Black Sea on some kind weird creature sex cruise. There they meet their Unicorn Heaven. However, there is a lot of jealousy from Rebecca’s pov. While she tries to discover what Heaven is and what they want with Hugh/Hugo.

I thought the writing was funny at times, but a bit long winded at other times. And I’m gonna be completely honest, a good bit of this book, I had no idea what the point was. Like what was the book trying to say?

Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum is a captivating read, rich with gothic atmosphere that truly draws you into its world. The story’s unique setting on the high seas adds an adventurous and refreshing twist to traditional vampire lore, making it feel both new and intriguing. Merbaum’s writing style is vivid and engaging, skillfully painting an eerie world filled with complex, well-developed characters. While I thoroughly enjoyed the imaginative plot and the immersive mood, there were a few moments where the pacing slowed down, which briefly pulled me out of the story.

Definetly not what I expected to say the least. I did like the writing style tho, but the story had me confused the entire time. There was just a lot of sex and then more sex and nothing else. I just don’t get the point

I was a bit lost with this story. I wasn't a big fan of the characters, and wasn't fully sold on the plot. I loved the premise of them needing a vacation and deciding to take a cruise. I. think it could have done a better job at setting the scene and diving deeper into the plot. Thank you for the ARC

This book has a very specific audience that will love it but unfortunately, I’m not a part of that audience. I got about 25% through the book before I had to stop reading. The characters were frustrating at times, and I found it hard to follow sometimes.

The writing was captivating, and I’d definitely consider trying this author again.

I was so excited to read this book, and it saddens me to dnf-ing it and giving a one-star rating. As you can see, the book itself is not long, but it took me a whole three weeks to get to the quarter point and I just can't do it any more.
The book has a very flowery language, but it doesn't flow the way one might expect it to, making reading even more excruciating than it already is, with bits of information hidden so masterfully I can not really say what the book is about even after reading a quarter of it. The author emphasises physical desires and sexual tension, and it feels like trying to conceal the shallowness of it all. Definitely not my cup of tea

Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for providing me with the ARC

Brief overview of the Premise
Rebekah and Hugh go on a much needed vacation. They are desperate to find some fresh blood to sink their teeth into. They head out on a queer cruise and the party is raging. While there they find Heaven, a delectable morsel of an influencer. Unfortunately, Heaven ends up getting more than their claws dug deep into Hugh, (this is not a pun). Rebekah in attempts to fend off her jealousy, she thrusts herself into Heaven but she had bit off more than she can chew. (That is a pun). 😊

Rating overall
⭐⭐.25

Themes
Toxic Love, LGBTQ sexuality, Rekindled Flame, Vampires.

I am making this one short because this was just okay for me. I did not vibe with this book. The characters were all thoroughly unlikeable so I didn’t care about any of them. The sexy bits were good. I did not find it funny at all. I thought that the location was fun and exciting given the plot. I was more interested in the war that was sparsely mentioned than any thing else was happening.
Who would I recommend to: 🦗 🦗 🦗 🦗 (those are crickets). If you want smutty vampire sex at sea then you may like this book.

I would like to thank NetGalley, the author and publisher for allowing me ARC access to this novel. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This book should have been a smutty, super-queer horror-comedy featuring unbridled narcissism. It had some elements of these characteristics but nothing extraordinary. I was expecting something else.
This book was not for me but it can be your perfect read!

'We’re on vacation!'

Vampires at Sea claims to be a book about a centuries old vampire coping with her husband falling in love with a new partner while they vacation on a queer cruise and is left to consider herself beyond her husband and the life she’s led thus far, a concept that sounds like quite the entertaining, light ride with some interpersonal drama and development. However, the novella ultimately stumbles through this premise with little grace and all the energy of a malfunctioning stairlift.

The style of writing is simple, and its use of first person narration helps centre us in the quick thoughts of the protagonist, Rebakah. Such simplicity makes the repetition of thoughts and feelings and the rather surface level exploration feel dull and draining to read through rather than light and fast paced. In addition, the narrative slogs along with seemingly little interest in delving into the main concerns of Rebakah’s inquiry into Heaven, her husband’s new lover, and her constant jump from hatred for intense lust.

Which is another topic, the sex. While I’m no prude when it comes to sexual content in books, I would argue it, like everything else within a narrative, deserves to be put forth with some level of interest or entertainment. In this case, the sex serves as almost a distraction from the plot, pulling Rebekah, who in the last half seems entirely uninterested in it and yet still partakes in it excessively as a coping mechanism (I assume), away from her own inner thoughts as if the author themselves is refusing her the space to begin the development which is promised in the synopsis.

The ultimate betrayal of this novella is that it is boring, plain and simple. And while I’m certain there are people who will find the vampiric protagonist entertaining and the pleasantly packed queerness within the plot fulfilment enough, I was left dragging my feet along until the very end.