'We’re on vacation!'

Vampires at Sea claims to be a book about a centuries old vampire coping with her husband falling in love with a new partner while they vacation on a queer cruise and is left to consider herself beyond her husband and the life she’s led thus far, a concept that sounds like quite the entertaining, light ride with some interpersonal drama and development. However, the novella ultimately stumbles through this premise with little grace and all the energy of a malfunctioning stairlift.

The style of writing is simple, and its use of first person narration helps centre us in the quick thoughts of the protagonist, Rebakah. Such simplicity makes the repetition of thoughts and feelings and the rather surface level exploration feel dull and draining to read through rather than light and fast paced. In addition, the narrative slogs along with seemingly little interest in delving into the main concerns of Rebakah’s inquiry into Heaven, her husband’s new lover, and her constant jump from hatred for intense lust.

Which is another topic, the sex. While I’m no prude when it comes to sexual content in books, I would argue it, like everything else within a narrative, deserves to be put forth with some level of interest or entertainment. In this case, the sex serves as almost a distraction from the plot, pulling Rebekah, who in the last half seems entirely uninterested in it and yet still partakes in it excessively as a coping mechanism (I assume), away from her own inner thoughts as if the author themselves is refusing her the space to begin the development which is promised in the synopsis.

The ultimate betrayal of this novella is that it is boring, plain and simple. And while I’m certain there are people who will find the vampiric protagonist entertaining and the pleasantly packed queerness within the plot fulfilment enough, I was left dragging my feet along until the very end.

Immortal beloveds Rebekah and Hugh are on vacation! Against a backdrop of ongoing war, this pair of chic emotional vampires from San Francisco sets off on a queer Black Sea Cruise, eager to relax, join an orgy, and feast upon their fellow passengers’ desires and sorrows. When Hugh becomes enchanted by an alluring and possibly magical non binary social media influencer named Heaven, Rebekah’s reality capsizes. As she comes to terms with a future she never imagined, Rebekah begins to question her past, much of it lost to time. Ultimately, her journey becomes one of self-discovery, and acceptance of her true nature. A smutty, super-queer horror-comedy featuring unbridled narcissism, Vampires at Sea is a hilarious and satisfying snack!

Vampires at Sea had a fun premise, emotional vampires on a queer cruise! The execution just didn’t fully land for me. The sense of humor is bold and the concept original, but the story leans so hard into camp and chaos that the plot sometimes gets lost. Rebekah’s journey of self-discovery has potential, but I found it hard to connect with the characters. It’s a unique, smutty horror-comedy for sure, just not quite for me.

Thanks to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for providing me with this ARC.

Literally everything about this book is firing on all cylinders—on paper. I find that more often than not I’m saying books can shave off a hundred or so pages but here’s a book that actually could have used an extra hundred to really flesh out all the chaos that could have been rewarding and fun with more care.

Thank you for the arc but I really couldn’t get into this book. I wasn’t particularly interested in the characters and as short as it the story was didn’t have any real bite.
I love the cover though that’s what initially drew me in.

ARC Review – Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum (Rounded from 2.5)

First off, a huge thank you to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review. As an avid book lover, it still feels surreal to receive these early copies—such a dream!

That said, Vampires at Sea was a mixed bag for me. I’m rating this 2.5–3 stars—not because I think it’s a bad book, but because it didn’t quite hit the mark for me personally. I always want to emphasize that reading is subjective—and that’s what makes it so magical. What didn’t work for me might absolutely work for someone else, especially if they’re into satirical gothic horror with heavy erotic elements.

The premise pulled me in right away: Rebekah and Hugh, long-time partners, take a discounted queer cruise, where they encounter other passengers including a non-binary influencer named Heaven. I liked the structure of the story—each day broke down events in a way that made the book easy to binge.

However, I struggled to connect with the characters and was often confused by the plot and vampire lore, and honestly a little bored. The book leans more into eroticism and satire than horror or fantasy, and while I appreciate bold storytelling, I found it more “telling” than “showing.” Just when the plot was going somewhere - Rebekah would be having sex and feeding off of someone (random or one of the main characters) which ultimately lead to feeling more distant from the story.

Ultimately, I don’t think I was the target audience for this book. I’ve only read a few books in horror/gothic genres before, so this may resonate more deeply with readers who enjoy campy erotic satire. I’m still glad I gave it a chance—it was a unique experience, and I appreciate what the author tried to do!

Thank you again to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for the opportunity to read this!

"It finally dawns on me that something is wrong aboard this ship, something beyond my own personal hell. It turns out, it's actually hell for everyone. We're on vacation!" - Vampires at Sea, Lindsay Merbaum

Thank you to Amanda Manns for providing this free advanced reader copy through NetGalley. The opinions expressed are my own.

Spoiler Alert.

The Vampires Rebekah und Hugh decided to book a queer cruise, because, yay, they are on vacation! The immortals look forward to join orgies as they need to feed on the passengers feelings. Here comes Heaven, a non binary influencer, who wraps Hugh around their finger. Rebekah is flabbergasted and tries to get him back, somehow.

I wish I could be more positive and like this book just a tad bit more. It just didn't provide the fun and horror I hoped for. As we read through the eyes of Rebekah, we don't discover much of her personality. She has a superiority complex and is very egotistical. I understand that is how she is supposed to be (she is a immortal vampire, duh) but the sudden change to an anxious vampire, put me off.

I didn't like any characters in this book. Everybody was too much but also nothing. The side characters were forgettable and Hugh had no personality at all. Everyone fell flat for me. I think if we could've spent more time on going deeper with Rebekah's and Hugh's relationship I could've cared more for them. Heaven was just confusing. I know that this was probably the goal but I still didn't understand their intentions. And the dynamic between Heaven and Rebekah was just awkward to read.

The books promised to be a super queer horror-comedy with smut. I get the comedy but I didn't enjoy the smut - and I usually like my books hot & spicy. The smut in Vampires at Sea felt too forced and too in the face on how great Rebekah performs. And yes, she performs sex (acrobatics!), it didn't feel natural. And then there was a ongoing war? It seemed too random and sudden. I also would've liked more info on that. Either I forgot that it was mentioned or there was never an explanation?

I fear, I only ranted on this book so far. Vampires at Sea was not the worst I've ever read - it was still entertaining enough, I just would've liked more depth. I just was expecting more?

I still rate it 2/5.

This is exactly how I expect my Vampires to act!
There is nothing better than a new arch nemesis to entertain you away from your boring Husband
Even better if they are an evil non-binary shapeshifter.

This was everything I love about queer literature and queer culture.
May we all be weird, beautiful, Evil, grotesque and Celestial until the end of time!

Did I truly gain anything by reading this? No. Did I still enjoy it? Absolutely lol this was full of queerness and sex and vampires and fun! A short read with lots going on, and just when you think they have had all the sex they could in a novella, they have more 🤣

Thank you NetGalley and Creature Publishing for this ARC!

I think my main problem with this was that it just wasn’t what I expected. They’re emotional vampires, not like actual vampires but they’re still like really old? The queer aspects of this also felt really cheap, stereotypical, and tacky. I found myself thanking god that this was so short because I did not want to know these characters any longer. Also, I thought this was going to have like sexy, slutty, fun but everything is so glossed over??

Overall, this bummed me out the entire time I was reading it.

This wasnt really what I was expecting when I read the description.

It was a fun short read but I feel like it lacked any depth. The characters seemed a bit two dimensional so I didn't really feel connected to them.

The story also felt rushed at times, it felt like the whole story could have taken place in a few hours rather than over days.

Thanks to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for providing me with this arc

Um, well the author does say they write "strange tales," and I think this fits the bill. I did not finish this novella because it was just a little too odd for me. It is well written, but it was all just a bit too much for me.


Thank you to Creature Publishing and NetGalley for the arc. All thoughts and opinions are my own

dnf

no. just...no.

i can't even say this simply wasn't for me, its just bad. this premise sounded promising but god, was the execution just not it. an actual excerpt from the book:

"...the graceful way he crosses his legs so you can't help but wonder about his cock. (Length: moderate. Thick around the middle. Circumcised, surprisingly. Somewhat shy, but steadfast. In other words, perfect.)..."

i get the author was trying to go for raunchy but it just didn't land. i couldn't even stick around long enough to get into the story because the setting of the scene was just so terrible. i was expecting something in league with Katee Robert's 'Court of the Vampire Queen' and truly, it's my fault for having such high expectations.

Vampires at Sea by Lindsay Merbaum follows Rebekah and her husband Hugo as they join a queer cruise around the Black Sea.

When I saw 'vampire' in the title, I immediately imagined the story would be sexy, dark, a bit gore-y - because, y'know, vampires. Imagine my immense disappointment when I realised they're actually 'emotional vampires' and feed off feelings, not blood. There is smut and graphic descriptions, however, so 1 out of 3 I guess.

I also could have sworn the blurb implied this was more of a pirate sea story, not about a cruise - and I can see a few reviews that also thought the same, so I didn't imagine it.

Ended up DNF-ing as it was not for me.

[This review is based on NetGalley ARC provided in exchange for an honest, unbiased opinion]

This book was nothing like I expected in such an incredible way. The journey our main character makes toward finding herself, learning not to dull herself down for anyone, even someone she truly loves, is done so beautifully. I already want to read Vampires At Sea again.

Okay, so... this book started out really strong for me. I freaking LOVED Rebekah’s narrative and her dark and pessimistic vibe. But after a few chapters, it started to get old. In terms of plot... this book was a fever dream, and I enjoyed what was going on for the most part, but everything felt bogged down by Rebekah’s (at times) dull and chaotic thoughts.

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC.

As for the book, the reason it a 2 star is because I DNF @ 32%. It simply just wasn't for me. I do believe that this book would be enjoyable for some. It just wasn't for me.

Hot, polyamorous vampires on a cruise! Vampires at Sea had an interesting take on vampire lore with some unique flair, but the execution just didn’t stick the landing for me. I found the humor to lean heavily on the dry side, with one or two scenes actually making me giggle.
Most of the book revolves around sex, which is no problem as long as it’s compelling or adds to the story. Unfortunately, these scenes blurred together for me (which did add a bit of humor at points), but had little emotional payoff. The romance was more frustrating than steamy. Hugh was essentially a vampiric Ken doll: easily distracted by the next hot person.
Rebekah spends most of the book obsessing over what the new person, Heaven, has that she doesn’t. This book is filled with jealousy, insecurity, and drama, which is interesting for a story focusing on an immortal polyamorous couple.
It’s a short read, so I stuck it out to the end, hoping for some resolution or plot twist of some kind. The ending essentially felt like a shrug, leaving plot points from the book open-ended (for example, the murderer on the cruise, her relationship with Hugh).
All in all, I loved the style of writing and the prose, and it flowed very well. I highly enjoyed the diverse characters and world views expressed; however, it just didn’t resonate with me as much as I had hoped.

A huge thank you to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for the ARC!

Thank you to NetGalley and Creature Publishing for this ARC!

“Vampires at Sea” tells the story of Rebekah and her husband Hugo over the course of a fortnight spent on a queer cruise. These two are so-called “emotional vampires”, think Colin Robinson from What We Do in the Shadows, except Rebekah thrives on people’s horny energy while Hugo lives off of misery. While on this cruise Hugo falls for someone else, the influencer Heaven, who is possibly a supernatural being themself, forcing Rebekah to reassess her life, both present and past.

Unfortunately I did not enjoy this book. From the very beginning we are told just how sexy this book will be, and how sexy Rebekah and Hugo are, but every single sex scene in this book is profoundly unsexy. I actually didn’t think it was possible to make vampires that are not sexy, but this book somehow managed it.

The plot is also absolutely nonsensical. We are told that there is this war going on, but are not given any further information. What war? Who is fighting? What are they fighting about? Who knows! Not this book. And even if you ignore that plotline, the love triangle of Rebekah - Hugo - Heaven makes little to no sense. What being is Heaven supposed to be? Why is Rebekah just accepting that this being is taking her husband with little to no interference?

The characters are also generally absolute one-dimensional caricatures. Rebekah had some potential to be a more interesting character, but unfortunately all the elements that could've made her more interesting are not given the attention they should have gotten, and so she remains this 2D, “just a sexy woman” type of character.

If you just want a silly, quick read with mostly non-descriptive sex scenes, and are able to 100% turn your brain off, I think you could still have a fun time with this, even though I didn’t.

I may have gone reading this novella with a different set of expectations but I wasn't disappointed. I read it in one sitting on a train traveling to the Black Sea, so that was a fun coincidence. Some of the jokes didn't land but the overall absurdity and destructiveness of the narrator was interesting to follow. The ending and the final battle were a bit disappointing to me in terms of execution. But I very much enjoyed the concept of vampires feeding on different emotions, not on blood. I'd def read more with that type of concept, it was a great take on "energy vampires".

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!