Thanks to Net Galley for an early copy of this book. Unfortunately, it already feels tired, cliched, and is written, with huge soap-opera-like shallow dialog and actions. Not going to go into plot, it’s just too ridiculous, there are far better novels with these themes around. Maybe it’s just me, but this was a waste of my time.

Read If You Like:
🪞 Identity and Self-discovery Themes
⏳ Coming of Age
💋 Complex Romantic Relationships
🏳️‍⚧️ Trans FMC
🏳️‍🌈 Queer Experience
🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 Complicated Family Relationships
2️⃣ Dual POV

Max, a 30-year-old trans woman, feels uneasy with how life turned out—her and is in a place of feeling like life should be different than it is. She has experienced a recent failed relationship, and that gnawing belief that the best years of her life aren’t and should be better than they are.

After an embarrassing tumble at a New Year’s Eve party, she resolves to shake things up, landing in a serious relationship with Vincent—a cis, traditionally-minded Asian corporate guy.

Their connection is tender yet tense, shadowed Max’s insecurities and by Vincent’s own hidden past experiences that collide with issues of race, cultural and familial expectations, as well as his first romantic experience with a transgender woman ten years prior that shapes his relationship with Max whether he wants to let that into their relationship or not.

Max and Vincent are forced to ask difficult questions:
♥️ Can love survive old wounds that they each carry?
❤️‍🩹 Do we have to forgive our worst selves to find peace?

I truly loved the way this book was written and the infrequent chapters from Vincent in the past truly made the story that much more nuanced and intriguing to see how the past was impacting present day. I also loved the way the story balances wit and warmth, with moments that sting—especially when dealing with gender roles, familial expectations, and societal assumptions. Finally, I loved that the book felt so real and raw and that forgiveness wasn’t sugarcoated—it’s messy, earned, and emotional. The way the story is shaped and ends truly makes you sit with the human experience and complecities of living and the emotional impact we have on ourselves and others with our choices each day, and forces you to sit with that complexity, not ignore it.

If you’re looking for a layered, character driven and emotionally resonant contemporary novel that forces you to look at identity, privilege, and forgiveness head on, this should be on your must‑read list for the summer!

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC. Disappoint Me is a beautifully layered, character-driven novel that really leans into the messiness of being human. Nicola Dinan has a gift for building characters who feel both real and deeply flawed, and I genuinely enjoyed getting to know each of them in all their complicated glory. As someone who reads a lot of romance, I’ll admit I’ve gotten used to neat happy endings, and this book doesn’t tie everything up with a bow. The more open, ambiguous ending left me wanting a bit more closure, but in retrospect, it felt authentic to the story being told. Overall, this was a thoughtful, moving read with standout character work. I’ll definitely be looking out for more from Dinan in the future.

I have received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

"A simple line captures how much hope a glimmer of someone can instill in a person. It's lovely and painful. There's so much room for disappointment."


Disappoint Me started off slowly for me. I think by the second day things just started to click, and I couldn't slow down from devouring the book. It's also possible that I'm a sucker for all kinds of drama and that's when the drama started to happen. Eh, either way I'm here, and I'm happy that I finished this book.

In this, you will meet Max. She is in her 30s and still trying to figure out life. For example, what her possible romance could look like and whether or not she wants kids. It doesn't help that it feels like everyone around her is jumping into those types of scenarios either.

Then there's Vincent, the possible boyfriend. Now his point of view had me intrigued from the very first time we saw it. I had so many questions because it was always in the past, whereas Max was in the present. So, it was interesting to compare him throughout the book.

I'm not going to lie; this book was a lot. And by that, well, you'd have to dive in for yourself. I can't spoil any little thing about it. Just know that things get heavy and real. It was heartbreaking but also kind of healing in a way. Do we get all the answers before the very last page? No, not really.

I'm not a huge fan of open endings, and I'm pretty sure that's what we got here. It's fine, I'll learn to get over it eventually.

Real rating: 3.5

One chapter in, I knew "Disappoint Me" was not going to disappoint me, even though it was not at all what I was expecting. Nicola Dinan's voice is hypnotic. This novel follows Max, a trans woman who at the beginning of the novel is just getting over a break up and falls down the stairs at a New Years party. She later meets Vincent, who is very unlike herself and her circle, and who also has never dated a trans woman, but he has secrets. This new relationship propels Max into a world of heteronormativity.

The title itself is worth considering, as if Max herself was daring Vincent to disappoint her, since we see her grappling with her body and what that says about her worth--is she worth loving, does she deserve someone like Vincent. Vincent tests my patience, but for much that I felt about his past, without it, the complexity of his character would've been lost. Max grows a lot, but she does go back and forth, from feeling jealous and mean towards her friends and family, but it doesn't permeate; Max questions herself, challenges her stubbornness, and this growth made me feel closure with her character by the end.

"Disappoint Me" is a book that is hard to digest; there is violence against trans women, talk of women's bodies in general and personhood, and forgiveness, topics that stir up a lot of uneasy conversations. By the end of the novel, I was arguing with myself about the ending, which I love! I love when books make me think and do not necessarily have one "correct" answer in its interpretation.

Disappoint Me is a very interesting book told from the perspective of a transgender person dating someone with a difficult past with transgender people. This isn't a book I would typically pick up but I really enjoyed it. I loved reading from a perspective that's different than mine. This book is about modern dating and relationships. How can you date someone if there isn't full and complete honesty?

the story begins with max who is recovering from a sudden fall down a flight of stairs. she leaves the hospital prematurely and skips on getting a ct scan. she goes on with her life and meets a man named vincent on a dating app. they quickly fall in love but max uncovers a truth from vincent's past that changes everything.
i really loved that the story was told in dual povs, one in max's and the other in vincent's during his gap year spent in thailand. this gives the reader a better understanding of both max and vincent's mindset and, builds up to max finding out about vince's dark past. i'm not usually a romance novel type of gal but this novel did a great job with balancing the lightness of a romance and the sadness of a literary fiction novel. overall, the book touches on forgiveness, millennial angst, trans panic and love. i enjoyed this book and found it a breeze to get through; i really couldn't put it down and i actually wish it had been longer. for anyone looking for a romance novel that is both light and makes your heart ache, pick this one up!

Really enjoyed "Disappoint Me" by Nicola Dinan. Max is a lovable main character who helps readers understand what it is like to date as a trans woman, navigating partner's family, dysphoria and other issues. Dinan does a great job of character development. Recommended.

I adored every second I was with Max. I'll think about this book for a long time. Such wonderful writing that made Max feel like my best friend and I wanted to mind her.

I also liked the flashback to Vincent's youth that gave us an insight to his current psyche and his "helicoptering" of Max.

Thank you NetGalley & the publishers for sending me an ARC of this amazing book. 💕

This is the year I really learned that LGBT lit. / lesbian pulp lit. is a thing, & omfg am I here for it. I loved this. Ate it up. I got this as an ARC on some blessed chance, & now this author will be an insta-buy for me. I loved the way I was constantly asking myself the same as Max, do I love or hate Vincent… or Simone… complex characters who went through a lot and had me gripped from start to finish. Can’t wait to get my hands on a physical copy.

Nicola Dinan I will be watching you, and I will be getting my hands on Bellies ASAP.

I haven’t felt this connected to a main character in a long time. I found Max to be reflective, funny, and incredibly dynamic. I enjoyed watching her grow throughout the story and appreciated her reasoning through difficult, complicated situations. I wish I could spend time with her in real life.

Super disappointed with how I feel about this one. I was expecting to love it - the premise drew me right in! Lit fic, early-30's trans mc, life and relationships and strife and yearning. These are things I like. I generally don't have a problem with a meandering plot, I'll gladly go on the journey of inner monologues or pointless conversations, you can tell me what color the drapes are and I'll be happily there - if I'm interested. Frankly, I wasn't interested in this at all :( I don't know what didn't click for me. maybe it was the voice, maybe it was the characters, I'm not really sure. I had really high hopes and I'm quite let down. BUT, I see a ton of glowing reviews here and I will happily be in the minority.

hah this hurt my feelings (positive). I related to Max a lot, perhaps too much at times, and I could not put this down. What a ride!!

Absolutely loved this book. Unexpectedly and sharply funny at times (some of the one-liners from Max, our first-person narrator, caused me to straight-out cackle), and at others, incredibly touching and sensitive. Thoughtful meditation about identity, who and what we're supposed to be at various stages of our lives, forgiveness, and compassion.

Maxy is a trans lawyer and poet living in London, and she's recently gotten over a breakup. Disillusioned with her current life and community (many of whom have distanced themselves from her since her breakup), she ends up dating a straight corporate man, and they have what she considers a relatively heteronormative and "normal" relationship. Along the way, Maxy experiences angst about turning 30 and not being where she necessarily expects to be, especially as she sees other people in her orbit buy houses and get married and have babies.

This book reminded me of Ghosts by Dolly Alderton, which to me is a seminal text on being in your late 20s and early 30s. Maxy has many existential crises about what she wants and the life she wants to lead, and Dinan masterfully depicts how Maxy's transness both complicates and contextualizes her questions about what she wants her life and world to look like. I was immediately immersed in Maxy's world and interested in what was going on with her, and the side characters really shine. This book had so many profound insights about gender and relationships and trauma, but it never felt preachy or condescending: it felt so natural to be in Maxy's head that all her revelations and thoughts were natural and extremely interesting. I loved this one!

Tw: there are some parts of this book that involve transphobic violence and transphobic slurs.

Thank you to NetGalley and Disappoint Me from Random House Publishing Group - Random House for an advanced reader's copy in exchange for an honest review!

disappoint me by nicola dinan is a deeply human, character driven novel that had me feeling hopeful, hopeless, anxious, angry, and joyful. it explores identity, shame, and expectations - especially how these expectations can be the cause of deep disappointment.

this novel mostly follows max, a trans woman who feels she has hit rock bottom, as she enters a new relationship with vincent, a seemingly perfect boyfriend. but we get a second POV of vincent from his past. i sometimes find that dual povs can be tricky because one is always stronger than the other, but i was equally interested in both storylines here.

we also explore other relationships: current friendships, old/long term friendships, siblings, and parents. all characters are both flawed and lovely, and in all relationships, we explore these manifestations of love and, yes, disappointments.

max's identity as a trans woman is central to the story and the novel offers a deep look at her inner life. we also explore her feelings of "cheating on queerness", regarding the tension she feels between the heteronormative expectations of womanhood (as she watches people having babies and getting married) and her identity as a queer person. max is a fully fleshed out character who sucks you into her story.

it is a deeply human novel ultimately about forgiveness: who we choose to forgive, why, and who gets to be the arbitor of this forgiveness. how we disappoint eachother, how it makes us human.

i very much enjoyed this and would absolutely recommend

Thank you Random House and NetGalley for the ARC!

Disappoint Me was a perfect Pride month read. Reading the experience of a trans person and the constant questioning they face was eye-opening for me. I've always been a supporter of trans people, but this book added another layer of empathy and understanding to the challenges they may face when dating, meeting new people, and also just living their daily lives. I am appreciative for the perspective.

Thank you again for the ARC!

Thank you to Net Galley and Random House for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. First, I was drawn to this book by the cover. I loved the image and the colors that were chosen for the font. I found it so eye-catching. I also wanted to hear from a different voice and appreciated that the author is transgender, multiracial and grew up in Asia and now lives in London. The main character, Max, is transgender, 30 years old and trying to figure out her life. Max falls for Vincent who has traditional Chinese parents and is in the corporate world...northing could be more "normal". Maybe all of this is just setting Max up for disappointment. Yet, this has everything in it from relationships, looking for love, navigating a world that may or may not accept trans-ness, being a millenial and finding one's way and dealing with the hurdles that are all a part of life. 3.5 stars.

I adored this book, it was deeply moving and the prose was engaging, this should be required reading!

Perfect for Pride Month! This is the story of Max, a trans woman searching for companionship while navigating the emotional complexities of her life. It’s a compelling journey of self-evolution, learning to understand, forgive, and truly love yourself, even through shame and guilt.
The novel is thought-provoking, exploring different facets of trans experiences, anti-androgens, identity, truth, lies and the gray areas in between, all through the lens of Max and a cis man who's on his own path of self-discovery.
The way the past and present intertwine creates a space where real growth happens, for both of them. A moving, insightful read that speaks to the human experience, no matter who you are.