Interesting read and not my normal fare. Thought about not finishing by glad I read it.

Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and author for this ebook to read. All opinions are my own.

The cover and title of this book are misleading--I thought this was a book about the science and complexity of becoming a mother. It is indeed about the complexity (when, how, who with, under what circumstances) as Ruthie Ackerman tries to navigate her way to motherhood, but while the science of conceiving is part of the story, this is really more a book about thinking your way through the process and deconstructing the baggage that comes with every choice. It's a narrative of doubt and questioning and worries and ticking clocks, and I think if you are at the point in your life, you would find this book a comfort. It is a very internal book, though--even when Ackerman reports on specific scenes, she's more interested in what she was thinking than in sharing the scene with readers.

Thanks to the author, the publisher, and Netgalley for my free earc in exchange for an honest review.

THE MOTHER CODE deciphers author Ruthie Ackerman’s experiences and research about assisted pregnancy and the social rituals that surround it. Honestly, this was not the book I thought I would read, but it made a huge impact upon me. Separate from her experiences around love and attachment, Ackerman is mostly consumed for much of the book with how to get pregnant without losing all of her money, health and/or sanity. She provides riveting information about the numbers game in IVF.

I had not heard/read these grim statistics and was shocked. And here’s the really shocking thing, I was part of that whole ‘medical adventure’ thirty years ago and was completely unaware of the low likelihood of success. This book prompted me to look up the statistics from that earlier time period; how had I never known any of this? As the author makes clear, the poor outcomes are suppressed for those seeking assisted reproduction, because desperation becomes a key feature of the adventure. Is this book for everyone? I think it is for those who have or will have some contact with freezing their eggs, IVF or donor eggs. But perhaps my denial is still operating. What I can say is that this book changed my thinking and that is an accomplishment. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley.

It’s difficult to rate a memoir honestly since it is so personal to the author. There were times when the author tried to make a point or connection to social issues, but otherwise it was a lot of woe-is-me about her journey to motherhood and bemoaning choices she made earlier in her life.

Ruthie Ackerman investigates the patriarchal and feminist concepts of what motherhood should be. If you are a mother, are you allowed to be anything else? Is it selfish if you are? Stereotypes and societal “preachings” are examined by the author who is diving into her desire to have a child even though she doesn’t have a partner who wants one. Close examination of her own development, of trying to make herself into someone the other person wants, rather than being herself. She explores fear of family genetics and the nature/nurture question.Interweaves memoir of this stage of her life with essays about what society seems to be telling her and shares relevant research about genetics and IVF statistics.

Thanks to NetGalley for a pre-publication copy!

well-written and fun memoir with some interesting discussions of motherhood. would possibly recommend. 4 stars. tysm for the arc.

An engaging memoir that will appeal to every woman who has become a mother, thought about becoming one, or is on a journey to become one. The author spends her young adulthood immersed in her career, travel, adventure and a variety of relationships. She had a challenging childhood, and marries a man who does not want children. That's OK, until it isn't -- with time of the essence, she takes us on her journey to motherhood with all its twists and turns. Along the way, she shares fascinating historical, cultural, and scientific knowledge about motherhood, fertility, and child rearing. I look forward to recommending this title.

A few things about this book intrigued me from just the cover and title: mother and the implication of genetics. Science is uncovering so much of how mother-child development impacts someone, such as how intergenerational trauma works, how the fetal stage affects us throughout our lives. This book was an excellent memoir that blends that scientific aspect with a personal story of the ways in which it has played out.

I only have two small critiques. Coming from someone familiar with genetics, I was slightly disappointed there wasn’t more science, but I am probably in the minority on that. At times, it felt like the past and present of her story were flipping back and forth too much to keep up with, but it still all tied together well in the end.

Finally, I commend Ackerman for writing such about such an emotional and intimate topic in such a raw fashion, not just about the pregnancy and birth, but the decisions, the regrets, and the uncertainties throughout her life that led her to her daughter.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book.

I enjoyed this vulnerable look into Ackerman’s journey to motherhood. I think women who are exploring different avenues to having children or those who have friends going through a hard time conceiving may find this book helpful.

Fairly predictable but an enjoyable read.. Well written, great characters and well told. hanks for the opportunity to read this and much luck on publication.

Interesting book.
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.

I enjoyed this book, but I would not use it for teaching as it goes over familiar territory in terms of mothering, family building, and the biomdedical industrail complex.

A really powerful memoir on motherhood and the “code” to both becoming and being a mother. I think this is a great read for anyone who is considering having children in the future, regardless of if they’ve previously given birth. The author talks about many different paths to conception, as well as the logistical, financial, social, mental, and emotional implications of each. While this is a memoir, many other memoirs and books are quoted which both adds validation to the author’s experience and defends the universality of the journey to define oneself as a mother.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.