🌶️yes

When I say I want a fantasy with romance THIS IS WHAT I MEAN.

✨huzzah✨ a holy grail book to add to the trove.

First in a duet but could be read as a standalone.

Our main character finally returns to the city where she was brutally attacked four years ago to shed the cloak of victim and don the cloak of justice. Before she came as a healer, this time she’s returning to join this world’s version of their government as one of the very few people who can pull the truth from people so she can get vengeance on those who hurt her.

And lucky for her, the man she knows was complicit in her attack is one of the four judges who ruled the city and she might become his right hand (an excellent way to gather evidence)

This book is a murder mystery wrapped in government conspiracies, a test of friendship and loyalty, and incredibly interesting magic system tied together with the delicious bow of true feminine rage and actual enemies lovers. I don’t toss around enemies to lovers often, so ya know even tho they are working together she still knows he was there when she was tossed off a balcony even if he doesn’t know it’s her.

But as the web of lies begin to untangle, she is faced to reckon with the man who hurt her, also stands up for injustices, fights the law, and sees her as an equal.

- murder mystery
- Dark fantasy
- Judicial inspired world
- Verrryyy morally grey MMC
- Touch her and find your self accidentally and strategically killed some time later 😫🤌🏻💕
- Ex healer FMC
- Lie detector magic
- Scarred FMC


This book reminded me of the same feeling I got when I read when the moon hatched in the sense of the worldbuilding is left to the the reader… the author has given you a glossary and you’re meant to use it - sink or swim… It’s not their problem if you don’t pick it up. Which a lot of people do not like, however love it.

And let us all take a moment for the fact that there is a man with chest hair in a fantasy romance novel… see a lot of people complaining about the armpit hair but not squeak of outcry for the stern bush that is missing. That’s all.

Shalini has an impeccable writing style that shows her talent right from the start. I truly am interested in where her career will go because her writing is so eloquent and detailed. Similar to other popular fantasy talents out there, I feel This Monster of Mine fits solidly within the genre. While the magic system was a little harder to follow, I did enjoy the depth of it all. The world is vibrant and detailed too, and I feel there's a lot of success in Shalini's future.

While this book didn't quite hold my interest like I had hoped it would, I don't think that's due to anything from Shailini's writing. It just wasnt' the book for me. But I wouldn't shy away from recommending it to other authors who are interested in reading it; I feel this book is well written and filled with talent, it just didn't connect with me in the way I had hoped.

Flawless, perfection, no notes, gimme seventeen of 'em right now.

Truly loved every single thing about this book. The worldbuilding is fresh and captivating - everything from the blood-on-runes magic system to the wild lightning storms to the intricate political structure to the mind-reading abilities. I appreciate the stark looks at class structure and misogyny and what happens when well-intentioned people fall into blind loyalty with the wrong people. A story like this one could easily feel heavy-handed, but this one never does. Not even close.

The characters are so flawed and beautiful and realistic. Sarai's the kind of fighter who is so easy to root for and I loved how her inner monologue felt so level-headed and self-aware. The author extracts so much nuance from that morally grey territory that involves doing bad things to bad people for the greater good in a way that is so tactful and delicate compared to a lot of books that attempt the same examination. There's no way to tear down a broken, harmful system peacefully, ya know? It's just so damn compelling and makes Sarai and Kadra's stories that much easier to fall into headfirst. The romance here is especially successful. The folks complaining that a lot of things branded as enemies-to-lovers aren't ACTUALLY enemies-to-lovers will find plenty to love in this one. Their dynamic is absolutely chef's kiss.

I tore through this book as quickly as I possibly could. I want to live in these pages with these characters and cannot wait for the chance to inhale the sequel. Abeysekara is now an autobuy author for me that I'll absolutely be keeping an eye on moving forward.

Special thanks to Union Square & Co. for an ARC in exchange for review.

Absolutely LOVED this one. Shalini is a master. Stark, hard-hitting prose, stellar world building, a fierce MC and a MMC for fans of Kylo Ren. I couldn't put it down!

Magic, ancient-Rome, and forbidden love? Sign me straight up. This was a whirlwind of emotion and everything that makes fantasy amazing. I really loved the character of Sarai. Her story of vengeance was a roller coaster and her character development was amazing! And adding in the person she is falling for may be her assailant? Genius.

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Spice: 🌶

Media Type: Kindle 📖 🔌

I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, but it turned out to be such a unique and beautifully written fantasy. I was hooked by the storyline. After surviving being thrown from a tower and losing her memory, the main character returns to the city to uncover the truth. She trains to become a petitioner (kind of like a mix between a lawyer and a law enforcer), only to find out her mentor might be the one who tried to kill her. So good. I loved every twist of it.

This Monster of Mine follows Sarai, a young girl who was ready to live the life she had dreamed of before it was all crashed and burned. Vowing for revenge, Sarai vows to ruin the man who ruined her.

Honestly, I found the pacing of the novel to be one that was gripping which I typically struggle with. I enjoy how the author didn’t waste any time with making the journey go along. I understand in some cases it’s reasonable but in this instance, there was no need for it which I appreciated.

I found myself liking Sarai and Kudra, though I think Kudra was like any typical male main character. He was brooding( mysterious, and actually does harm in the name of good which I’ve read countless times. Nonetheless, I did find it enjoyable. I think Sarai should have been older, but I feel that way with any freshly aged 18 year old who goes on a journey.

I think a lot of the plot was predictable which isn’t always a bad thing. I thought the turmoil that Sarai was going through was true to characters as she was struck between a feeling of hate and love.

The romance was a given. I liked it. I don’t find myself saying this at all but I do wish there was more romance when it came to it. A short story, perhaps!

This took me about a day to complete because it was an interesting tale meant to capture the audience and it did that for me. Thank you to Shalini Abeysekara, Union Square, and NetGalley for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

5/5 ⭐️

I can‘t remember the last time I‘ve read a book with such an unpredictable plot. The ending had me on EDGE!

It‘s a beautiful, heartbreaking and absolutely mind-blowing story, and I loved it.

I‘m so happy to hear that there will be a second book!

DNF at 55%

I am so sorry because I would have LOVED to LOVE this book since it has exactly what I look for a in story: mystery, revenge plot and a hinted lover story with some power play? Count me in. I don’t know if it is the writing style or the slowness of the story (I am still waiting for it to “click”) but I just could not connect with the character nor rooting for them, and the curiosity alone could not put me through other 200 pages. I would have loved to loved it. Really. I am keeping an eye on the author since I really enjoyed the overall idea and concept (this is why I gave 3 stars) but I don’t think it’s for me.

"She knows the taste of death. He'll stoke her hunger for it." This line is what made me read this book. Also the dedication kept tugging at my heart. Fantasy does allow authors to challenge and create new world and the author tells us how justice is not blind in this world.
Sarai is smart & badass. Her pain is too real and the burden on her shoulders of being judged at every step is very heavy while Kadra is ruthless, cruel & powerful who is people's favourite. He protects Sarai without controlling her.
That slow burn between these two is my favourite and I loved how enemies to lovers trope worked here.
It is a beautifully written book with a perfect blend of angst, love, revenge.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC of this novel. 4.25ish 4.5ish/5 stars (but still giving a 5 star rating lol)

Despite this actually taking me forever to read (boo, reading slump), I know this would have been a book that I would have devoured in one sitting. It's rich in Roman culture vibes with the morally gray (er, which might be a stretch) "enemies to lovers" slooooooowwwwww burrrrrrn. The tension is tensioning, and also the plot? Top notch. I didn't see any of the things coming (minus toward the ending where I was yelling that the FMC was so stupid).

It appears there will be more books in the series, so I hope it goes into the magic more and also more of the gods....especially with Sarai's errrrrrr decision at the end.

Super unique and deliciously dark.
The heroinevwas amazing and the romance toe curling! I adored this. Great debut.

I thought this was very good and I will have to add this to the shop shelves. Thank you for the chance for us to review.

When you're traumatized and vengeful, but also there's a hot man (who may have had a hand in your demise) behind you mama.

An absolutely phenomenal debut from Shalini Abeysekara! This story hit all the revenge, dark, and romance beats for me. I was trapped into Sarai's pain and her mental fortitude immediately. The world building is really interesting - I love the idea of exploring law in a fantastical roman setting. It takes a little to get into the language and the lore but becomes very engaging with time. I loved the chemistry between Sarai and her potential enemy and lover Kadra. Her mistrust and hatred for him slowly turning to a fluttering chemistry is so believable.

The villains and the morally questionable people in this book had me so mad. I was raging and that's how I knew this was going to be an incredible read for me. If you can evoke that level of feeling right away that's a near 5 out of 5 stars.

The climax of this story is worth the build up. I was gobsmacked while reading the last 50 pages of this book. I was on the edge with how the stakes kept getting higher and higher. I love how this story comes together and I'm very excited to see how Shalini will explore this world further in the second book.

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara is everything I wanted it to be and I highly encourage you to pick this up if you enjoy Fantasy. This has magic, politics, tension, enemies to lovers romance...I loved it.

Sarai is the fmc and four years ago someone tried to kill her but she doesn't know why. What she does know is that her case was closed without justice and she wants vengeance so she goes back as a Petitor - a presecutor who can magically detect lies. What she didn't expect is that she is assigned to work with Tetrarch Kadra, the most vicious of the four judges who rule that land...and the prime suspect in a string of deaths identical to Sarai's attempted murder.

As Sarai starts to solve cases with Kadra, she starts to question what she thinks she knows. Kadra is charming and he fights against the city's corruption. The evidence Sarai continues to find points to others and her continued knowledge of who he is and her attraction to him makes her think she may be wrong but it is his voice that matches the only memory she has of her attack so now she needs to figure out what truly happened.

Not only does Abeysekara pull you into this story by making you try to figure out what happened to Sarai right alongside her but there is also the current state of things. Because of Sarai's current position with Kadra and the fact that the other Tetrarch's (or some) want to get rid of him, they are looking to use her to get any information they can to use against him. Add in the other Petitors and the challenges that Sarai has with a few of them, and she is fighting continuous battles. Her friendship with Cisure was one of my least favorite parts - I wished she would have seen through that much sooner.

All that to say, I truly enjoyed this book and definitely recommend this book to Fantasy readers. I am happy to see that this is going to be a series as I'll definitely pick up more from this author in the future and will be adding this book to my library.

A stunning dark fantasy with brilliant political intrigue. Absolutely engrossing read. The slow burn romance hooked me and I highly recommend!

The story follows Sarai, a Petitor with lie-detecting magic, who's seeking vengeance for her past attempted murder, believing the prime suspect is her newly assigned and mysterious Tetrarch, the cruel judge Kadra.

With his voice matching her attacker's, and all evidence pointing toward his involvement in a deadly political conspiracy, Sarai is forced to navigate the complexities of politics, power, and a poignant (albeit begrudging) attraction that might just be the answer to all she seeks, or her downfall.

This Monster of Mine is an ancient Rome-inspired romantasy DEBUT (we all know I'm a sucker for a debut) with a really compelling mystery, a super cool and unique society, and an uncommon magic system – lighting!!!

While there were some slower parts (give it a solid 100 pages to get rolling), this book was a really great and unique story – I truly have never read anything quite like it.

For those who are intrigued by the justice system, and the interplay of religion, power, and politics, I think you'll really enjoy this book!

In a world rife with corruption, This Monster of Mine dares to ask the question: what's the cost of doing what is right? With sizzling romantic tension, intricate world-building, and an irresistible mystery at its core, this book is an absolute feast for the senses. A dazzling and deliciously dark debut!

Four years ago, Sarai's whole life was shattered. Trying to challenge the entrance exams at the empire's magic academy, she instead walked into something she shouldn't have and ended up thrown off a tower. The fall should have killed her, but instead it just maimed her beyond recognition, forever unable to practice the healing magic she once was so good at. And worst of all? They closed her case in just three days, no justice. But this shifted her focus. Her new goal is to become a Petitor, basically a lawyer who can magically tell who's telling the truth, among other skills. The position is basically considered cursed, though, with like 7 Petitors dying mysteriously in the last few years, so the position is easier to get than it would have been. Naturally she is assigned Kadra, the worst of the Tetrachs, the most vicious and bloodthirsty...and the man with a voice that she recognizes from the night she fell. The two must work together, reluctantly at first and then with vigor, to solve a whole web of mess and corruption.
I loved this book. This was the sort of book that had me reading until midnight, flipping pages to solve the mystery and make sure the characters made it. The pacing was supreme. The clues were well-laid, but also just sparse enough that putting it together was a challenge. Abeysekara balanced so very many moving parts so well, and just when it seemed like we were finally on the right and full track, a new wrench was added. I also loved the righteous wrath, the satisfaction of getting to watch these characters burn the world to the ground to root out corruption and evil. The righteous anger felt so good right now, in this world, watching politicians cause harm without recourse, and getting to see the good(ish) guys prevail, to watch the underdog make it. Also, Sarai and Kadra were both really hot. Definitely I appreciated the romance aspect. The suspense and tension in the romance was just as good as the primary plot. And the side characters were also good. Most of them were so deliciously hateable. Absolutely loathsome. And then the good ones? Gaius and Anek and Cassandane? Excellent. In short, this book was fantastic.

This just wasn’t my cup of tea and honestly…. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up on my own if it hadn’t been speculated as a pick for one of my book subscriptions. That said, I really wanted to love it..

It had so many of my favourite tropes like a slow burn, tension, and a VERY angry, complex MFC (my weakness). But then... enter the overused shadow daddy. You know the one. He’s everywhere in romantasy these days, and unfortunately, this book took that as a trope without adding anything unique to the character for me.

Now, to be fair…I did enjoy several parts of the story. The political intrigue was juicy, the plot had solid momentum, and the characters were compelling.. The mystery elements and plot twists were definite highlights for me.

However, I struggled a bit with the writing style and overall pacing. It’s hard to explain, but something about it didn’t click with me. And the magic system? It left me feeling a bit lost as some parts weren’t really explained.

Also, let’s talk about the romance. Going in, I expected romantasy, but it read more like a dark fantasy murder mystery with a sprinkle of romantasy towards the end not a bad thing in itself, just not what I was expecting since the tags showed that.

One thing I did appreciate was the way the book talked about real-life themes, especially its commentary on the justice system and how it often favors the rich and powerful.

Thank you to Union Square & Co. for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!