i read this book like my life depended on it. i spent my weekend completely immersed in This Monster of Mine and i’ve been desperate to talk about it!🖤

book blurb:
four years ago, someone tried to kill Sarai, leaving her forever scarred and haunted by the memories that only come to her in fragments. due to the rise of deaths of petitors (prosecutor that can magically detect lies), a position opens up. what was once a childhood dream is now her only hope at getting the justice she craves and the answers her mind has locked away. she is assigned to work with a judge believed to be the most monstrous and vicious. yet despite her reservations and hatred, she can’t shake the feeling that she knows his voice. the only voice she remembers from the night she almost met her demise.

this book was SO good. i really enjoyed the combination of a murder mystery and romantasy. i don’t see those two genres together often and it made for such a intriguing and compelling story.

i also loved how This Monster of Mine explored the imbalance of power. this story explores the line between what is lawful and what is moral and all the gray in between. as the characters dive deeper into the monstrous underbelly of this society, they soon realize that nothing is as it seems.

our fmc, Sarai, is one of my favorite characters i’ve read about in a while. she deserves the entire world and then some. she’s strong, resilient, stubborn, and loyal to a fault —YET she has such a vulnerability and empathy that becomes more and more apparent throughout the story. she cares about others so deeply and is a fierce protector.

then there’s Kadra who’s is also *chefs kiss* and not just in a “hot, powerful, intelligent” way (although he’s definitely also that). he was villainous in all the best ways. we see him from one narrative at first, as Sarai tries to see him as everyone else does, a monster. yet the longer she works with him, the more we truly learn about him and the complexities of his character.

also, the slow burn was exquisite. the way their relationship grew felt so organic. it had the classic enemies-to-lovers vibe but it felt so much more nuanced. there was tension and spice of course but the intimacy between them was my favorite. to be held, seen, and understood without any expectations of one another. absolutely LOVED. 100000/10.

i also liked how well-developed the side characters were with lives and motivations of their own. some characters i loved so deeply while others…let’s just say if we were alone on the side an tower, one of us wouldn’t be walking away unscathed… and it wouldn’t be me.🙂‍↔️

overall, i adored this read! it was gripping from start to finish and these characters were captivating.

thank you netgalley and union square & co. for this e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you NetGalley and Union Square & Co. Publishing for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

Shalini Abeysekara, the genius that you are! I could kiss you on the mouth. This book single-handedly revived my faith in the romantasy genre. I have been extremely burnt out on romantasy, between the lazy storytelling and the shoving of as many tropes as possible down your throat, it has felt incredibly unoriginal. Enter Sarai, our heroine who survived a horrific assault 4 years before our story begins. She has minimal recollection of the event and sets out to extract her vengeance on the perpetrators by becoming the “petitor” to the most bloodthirsty and savage Tetrarch in the region, Drenevan bu Kadra. Whom she also suspects is the same man who threw her from that tower 4 years prior.

These characters contain so much depth and the most beautiful thing about them, (the mmc’s that is) was their capacity for growth. Even though Sarai is 18, she felt much more mature than that number suggests. I kept waiting for the cringe reckless moments that usually accompany characters of this age, but thankfully, the author did not write that into their story arcs. And Kadra, oooooo boy, the man that he is. Morally grey, but the silently lethal type…yes please. The Ancient Roman setting was impeccable and made for such a unique story that I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing before. And you could tell that Abeysekara did her research, which really imbued authenticity into the story.

The plot was perfectly paced and was a flawless combination of fantasy, mystery, and the most fu*king exquisite slow burn. They talk about bringing back yearning, Abeysekara understood the mf assignment. No insta-love here. I was truly foaming at the mouth and squealing when our mc’s shared the page. It was this sweat-inducing romance, in combination with the political intrigue, murder mystery vibe, and even mythological element that made this book so hard to put down when real life called. If I didn’t have to work a stretch of shifts when I started this, I know I 100% would have finished this in one to two sittings. It was this unputdownable quality and Abeysekara’s delectable prose that easily puts ‘This Monster of Mine’ in my top reads of the year thus far. The only tragedy is that I didn’t read this sooner.

2.5 ✨

I really struggled with this book. 🙁 First of all I found the first 10% quite confusing, there were too many names and new words from the fantasy world that made me feel like I needed to double read some parts, which immediately is a turn-off for me. Tbh I started to grasp the world almost at 22%. The writing also wasn't for me, at times I felt like I was reading a historical book.

The plot was interesting but still I didn't find myself intrigued, must be the fact that I also didn't understand the romance subplot. The connection just wasn't there and the MMC was like non-existent(?) if that makes sense. I felt him like a ghost who occasionally talked and made appereances, in other words, it was like he was a secondary character. Lastly, there was nowhere the passion or the relationship building that I'm searching in these books, it just happened in a rush and I wasn't convinced at all.
On the other hand, I really loved the FMC. I felt her rage and her strength and I strongly sympathised with her!

This was a DNF for me


I had high hopes for this book, as I really liked the concept and the author’s writing style, but unfortunately, I couldn’t get past a couple of pages before I had to put it down—multiple times. The main issue for me was the overwhelming political system and the complex terminology that came with it. It made the book hard to follow and harder still to fully immerse myself in the story.

While I appreciated the foundations of the plot, the sheer amount of political details and unfamiliar terms created a barrier that was difficult to overcome. It was a bit too much to absorb all at once, and I found myself struggling to keep track of everything. The world-building, though detailed, felt more like a challenge than an enjoyable discovery.

That said, I do think the writing itself was solid, and I can see how others might appreciate the depth and complexity of the political dynamics. It just wasn’t for me, at least not right now. I do feel like the book deserves another shot at some point, so perhaps I’ll revisit it when I’m in a different reading mood or have a bit more patience for its intricate world.

Overall, I’m rating this book 2 stars for now, but I might give it another try in the future. It just didn’t quite capture my interest this time around.

a perfect blend of dark academia with romantasy!!!

The plot is delicious, the characters are delicious, the world-building is amazing, and the character arcs are phenomenal.

I was on the edge of my seat. Starts of slow, but once you develop an understanding with the terminology, its awesome.

Thank you, Union Square & Co for the digital arc.

I really enjoyed this book!

I do not read a lot of fantasy, this however I felt was so unique in the premise and world that was built.

I think it was the perfect blend of haunting and chilling and mysterious while in a fantasy novel. Right out of the gate we start with action and pain and it had me hooked as a reader!! I was desperate to follow the story to the end.

I think the uniqueness in this was great, it wasnt like every other fantasy story out there and thats what had me gripping my kindle till the very end!!!

Well done!!!

This book was great! I loved the world and the characters, too. I never felt confused or left wondering, the author did such a good job blending the politics and lore of her world together with the plot and the romance. I also really enjoyed the bits of Ancient Rome that we got--I love getting to see the items used and daily practices of ancient cultures. This was really interesting and a fantastic story from Abeysekara. I'm definitely looking forward to more from this author!

With an amazing world building, inetresting magic system and complex character's this book explores the cruelty, ambitious and lethal consequences of obusers of the system. However, as all great stories, the reassurance that  there's good in the world still. 

A parallel vision of today's global situation from a fictional POV that while entertaining, highlights the current reality.

Well I had a great time reading this!

It was like a murder mystery with a hint of Romeo and Juliet type romance sprinkled in.

I loved Sarai so much. I absolutely adored the fact that she wasn’t the most beautiful person in the room. I am so tired of reading about dainty beautiful FMCs who have people falling over their feet for them. Sarai is definitely none of the above. Her cunning and rage made her headstrong and brash but her empathy and morals made her relatable. I adore her.

Kadra was a great enigmatic MMC. I do love me a tall dark and brooding man with a side of unhinged bloodlust for the sake of justice. I loved that he was willing to sacrifice everything for Sarai and that his character was consistent the entire time.

I found Cisure to be incredibly grating, she was written so unlikable in such a great way. I’ve never wanted to shake someone more in my life.

The plot was good. It was pretty obvious by the prelude who was the big bad guy. I think if that was staged more in bits and pieces through blurred memory then it would’ve made it harder to figure out - there’s some obvious dialogue there that points directly to who it is but the way it develops and the why is great.

Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for allowing me to read an ARC of this book. This is my honest opinion.

This was so fun and interesting our main character Sarai survives a murder attempt and is determined to figure out who pushed her only to end up in the house and employment/tutelage of her main suspect Tetrarch Kadra a beloved and vicious leader in her new city. But as Sarai and Kadra are forced to live and work together Sarai is forced to acknowledge that while Kadra’s many secrets may deal with her, he is not the evil killer she thought him to be and eventually agrees to work with him to expose the city evil core and corruption of the city’s fellow leaders. I loved Sarai she has reasons to be skeptical but she came around very quickly and stuck to her morals i also really liked her and Kadra’s relationship and and how it grew. I also loved that Sarai finally but her oldest friend in her place, her friend remains unredeemed but that doesn’t really mater since she has new friends and of course Kadra. Overall i liked it and would recommend Shalini Abeysekakra has made it onto my automatic buy list..

Ok, I've officially got a new favourite read of this year.

Once I started reading, I just couldn't stop. I had to know what happened next!

This book has everything you could want. Political shenanigans, brutal deaths, mysteries to solve, an intriguing plot, and a slow burn (almost enemies to lovers) romance. Its based on ancient Rome, but I would say its relevant to us even now with the current state of the world and corrupt leaders.
The book definitely makes a statement.

Aside from that, both main leads are likeable, well fleshed out characters with personality and great banter between them. I'm sure you'll come to love them just as I did.

Lastly, a big thank you to Netgalley for allowing me access to the ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. 💜

What a surprise this book was! 3.5 stars rounded up.

In an Ancient Rome inspired setting, Sarai seeks for answers and justice after being nearly murdered 4 years prior. Sarai is accepted as Petitor to the most feared Tetrarch in the city and uses her position to gain the answers she has long awaited for. One of the only details she remembers from the night of her brutal almost murder, is the voice of the very man she now works for.

The layers of mystery surrounding Sarai’s attack kept me on my toes and turning those pages. I just had to know how it played out (my suspicions ended up being correct)! The romance was quite good as well. Kadra was an excellent partner for our Sarai and I loved their interactions. The justice system and the parallels to our own world was executed very well. The magic system was unique and not overly complex or hard to follow. The world building I felt could have been developed more but it didn’t hinder the story for me at all.

Overall, I really enjoyed this story! I believe this is going to be in the April Fairyloot box and I’ll be happy to have this book on my shelf!

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for approving me to read this, it was a highly anticipated read for me and I’m rating it 4.5-4.75 stars.

From the prologue to the ending this book is dark, it delves into the cruel and slightly corrupt balance between politics and religion. This is a dark fantasy and I do recommend considering trigger warnings as it’s descriptive.

The story had me hooked, there’s nothing I like more than an FMC who fights for justice and has a sassy blunt attitude while doing it. This story also follows the mystery of the sidran tower girl and what really happened, I highly enjoyed unearthing the clues surrounding this and what was happening within the city. You can never be sure who to trust in this book, there’s betrayals and secrets throughout.

4.5 ⭐️ Lawyers set in Ancient Rome with magical powers? Sign me up. I really enjoyed this book. I found it hard to put down at times. The FMC is empowering and relatable, she's wracked with rage and pain over what happened to her years previous to this story - it was easy to root for her revenge. The slow burn romance was amazing and was the secondary focus to the plot. Will definitely be on one of my top reads of the year.

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara is a dark, intimate, and beautifully written exploration of grief, identity, and inner demons. It’s lyrical and raw in all the right ways. This story is quietly powerful and emotionally resonant. A haunting debut that will certainly linger with you. I had a great time with this. I cannot wait to see what Abeyesekara does in the future. The only thing I'd change is the POV, I think it would have been better in first person but that is more of a personal preference.

Un fantasy crudo che urla vendetta ambientato nell’antica Roma.
Promosso a pieni voti: stile di scrittura scorrevole, trama interessante, colpi di scena e protagonista meravigliosa!

Spoiler free review:

DAMN. I LOVED THIS BOOK. A Roman Empire-inspired setting? SIGN ME UP. This book was entertaining, intriguing, suspenseful, satisfying, magical, and absolutely mesmerizing—and the rage, oh, the rage!! I don’t usually enjoy politics in books, but this? This was different. With everything happening in the world, we’re all filled with anger at powerful people in higher positions doing whatever they want while we’re left to deal with the consequences. This book captured that fury perfectly.

Our FMC, Sarai, was nearly killed 4 years ago, and her case was buried, forgotten—no justice. Now, she’s back for vengeance as a petitor (prosecutor), armed with magic that detects lies (YES, there’s magic!). She’s assigned to one of the four tetrarchs, Kadra—who is charming, cold, sadistic, and the prime suspect in her attempted murder. She’s living with him, solving cases, and planning to uncover the truth.(Do you see the potential chaos here?!)

⚠️ TW: This book deals with heavy themes, so check them before diving in. Some scenes were tough to get through, but the rage and tension were so damn satisfying. I suspected everyone. Every. Single. Character. The suspense was unreal. And then there’s Kadra—morally grey, infuriatingly hot, and a suspect. He says things that make you want to rip open his half-done robe and see his chest—just like Sarai does. The slow-burn romance? EXCRUCIATINGLY GOOD. I was biting my fist, screaming at my iPad, holding my breath—the tension was UNREAL. (SOO MANY TENSION FILLED MOMENTS).

And Sarai? Hands down my favorite FMC ever. I love her so much guys. Shalini, thank you for writing this woman. She’s funny, fierce, filled with anger and fire for justice. She doesn’t hesitate to defend what’s right. But what even is right? That’s the question she grapples with throughout the book, as her incomplete memories leave her constantly second-guessing.

The side characters? They aren’t just background noise. They have depth, personality, stories of their own. I was so invested in all of them. I was on the edge of my seat, making theories, failing, and absolutely loving it. Again it is done so well, you just sit and marvel on what’s happening and are so hooked that you feel the need to keep reading until you finish the book. Some characters? I hated them so much I wanted to reach inside the book and punch.

And the magic system? MESMERIZING. I was obsessed. Different types of magic, a whole language (there’s a guide at the end, so don’t worry), and lightning powers?? YES. Admittedly, the worldbuilding was dense at first, but PUSH THROUGH. Trust me—it’s worth it.

And Shalini—I didn’t know how much I needed this book until I read it. Thank you for writing this book! I’m a fan. You’re an auto-buy author now. I cannot wait for Book 2 and the prequel!!

🔥 YOU GUYS BETTER PRE-ORDER. TRUST ME, YOU WILL HAVE FOMO otherwise. JOIN THE COOL CLUB. 🔥

railroaded most of this in a single day (thank god for air travel) and am just blown away.

I had heard NOTHING about this prior to it being rumored as a Fairy Loot pick and when I was approved for an arc, I jumped at the chance. Little did I know I’d stumble into an almost 5 star read (settling on 4.5!)!!

This book had everything: a vengeful FMC, a series of mysterious deaths,truth telling magic, a broody MMC with lightning powers, politics, and a LOT of very topical political conversations about the rich vs the poor. Plus the FMC is sassy in a very relatable to me way and the MMC finds it endearing which I ALWAYS love.

I’m always on the hunt for a strong fantasy standalone and this one HIT.

Thank you to the publisher for the advanced copy! Pub day is April 1!

First I want to say that for some reason it appears this book is being marked as a romantasy, but while there is a romantic subplot I really don't think that is the right direction to go here. If you go into this book expecting a romance heavy book you are going to be set up for failure. Now don't get me wrong, I love a good romantasy, this just isn't that. Not that there's anything wrong with romantasy, but this is so much more. It's a wonderfully unique fantasy based on ancient Rome that plays with themes of vengeance, justice, morality, crime, and punishment. It's bloody and full of fantastic morally grey characters, and to strip all of that away and stick the romantasy label on it seems like it does a great disservice. Honestly I would put this book up there with Blood Over Bright Haven (which was my favorite read of the last...several years at least), and I'm so thrilled that I took the chance on this because it's spectacular. I think my only real complaint here is that at times this book was a little dense. I will say it took a good 100-ish or so pages to really get into the swing of it, and it's obvious that some people will just not click with it, but for the people who do I think it's poised to be something special. I've already gone ahead and ordered extra copies for my store and have written a shelf talker for it. I can't wait for said copies to come in so I can start hand selling it. I also feel like this COULD be expanded into a series, because there's a seed planted in the epilogue that leaves the door open for some interesting things. So, fingers crossed it does well enough that more books get picked up, but either way it's an outstanding debut that I can't wait to talk to people about. I'll also certainly be curious to see what Abeysekara comes up with next, because she seems like an author to watch.

2.5 stars

This Monster of Mine has an intriguing premise, but many of these interesting concepts and characters were underdeveloped and relied on tired cliches in the romantasy genre. The mystery surrounding Sarai’s attack had me just interested enough to want to see how everything played out. Unfortunately, I can't say that I enjoyed the reading experience.

The world-building in this book involves a lot of interesting ideas that are poorly delivered. A lot of world-specific terminology is delivered at once, creating a disorienting reading experience. Specific, small details are overexplained while the broad picture of the empire—its history, politics, religion, etc.— is left largely undeveloped. Yes, these small details mostly become plot-relevant. However, without a strong basis for the world, a lot of the events in the story feel hollow.

The magic is underutilized and underexplained. We barely see that characters use any of the many runes that are hinted at throughout the story. The magic we do see felt disconnected and inconsistent. Some of the rules to the magic Sarai uses daily contradict themselves. I think the story would have benefited from having a more limited magic system.

The characters were another area of the story that felt frustratingly underdeveloped. I enjoyed Sarai’s arc of feminine rage and vengeance. However, her motivation and attitude towards other characters felt contradictory at times. Kadra’s character doesn't go beyond a cliche dark, bad boy, overpowered fantasy love interest. I would have loved to see more from his character, but Sarai was too busy going in circles trying to hate him despite all evidence pointing to him being a good guy. Cisuré’s character was comically over the top. I understand the idea behind her character but her behavior was so on the nose that it made her friendship with Sarai completely unbelievable.

The reveal around the suspicious Petitor deaths was, honestly, kind of boring. The guilty party could not have been more obvious and I found their motivation disappointingly unoriginal. Especially because there is so much potential with the magic and the politics in this world. Sarai spends more time jumping to the wrong conclusions about Kadra than she does paying attention to the very obviously shady stuff happening around her.

Despite this being a romantasy book, I have very little to say about the actual romance. Somehow there managed to be both too much and not enough romance in this story. The lack of tension and build-up between the two characters made the romantic scenes abrupt.

Nothing about This Monster of Mine feels fully developed resulting in a mediocre, unsatisfying reading experience.