<i>Thank you to Netgalley and Union Square & co. for the E-arc</i>
I almost didn't finish this book. To start off so people are warned the first few chapters of the book are 20+ pages. I pushed forward because I was excited about the premise of the book. Than I fell in love with Sarai, and than Kandra, and than I was enthralled in the book and needed to know what was going to happen next! I wasn't always 100% on what was happening but the story had me hook line and sinker. I needed to know what Kandra was going to do next and how Sarai was going to navigate through what ever he put them through next. The romance was a little quick though it did make sense and I loved it. Honestly one of the better fantasy books I've read this year and I'm so excited to see what the author does next!

This Monster of Mine is an engrossing debut that combines dark fantasy, political intrigue, and a simmering romance. Sarai seeks vengeance against those who tortured her and is forced to serve Kadra, a powerful judge she suspects might be the one responsible for her pain. As a Petitor, she can detect lies, but she’s bound to Kadra, leading to a tense and complicated dynamic.

Shalini Abeysekara’s writing stands out with its rich world-building and unique magical elements, though the romance felt rushed. The shift from enemies to lovers didn’t have enough buildup for me, and some plot twists were predictable. Still, the characters are well-developed, and Sarai’s personal growth was deeply satisfying, especially as a neurodivergent character navigating social expectations.

Kadra’s morally gray nature adds intrigue, keeping the reader guessing. If you enjoy dark, character-driven fantasy with political twists and slow-burn romance, this book is a must-read. Abeysekara’s debut shows immense promise, and I look forward to what she writes next.

Thank you NetGalley and Publisher for the ARC!

This Monster of Mine is a new romantasy debt novel filled with plenty of lust, angst, revenge, and forbidden love. Perfect for fans who want a break from dragons and fairies and need a little more shall I dare say "oomph" in the theme.
I'm only rating it 3 stars because it was hard for me to follow and a little bit out of my league for what I wanted but I know plenty who will love this!

4.5 Stars, this was an ancient Rome inspired story about a broken system, and a girl who was failed. Messy friendships, and trying to right wrongs. It had all the good qualities of a fantasy, dark romance, and a murder mystery. The political intrigue was extremely well done. This book puts the SLOW, in slow burn and there is only one particular scene that reealllllly pays off. I wish their romance was a little more flushed out, however i loved every second of the book.

Thank you Netgalley & Union Square & Co. - A subsidiary of Sterling Publishing | Union Square & Co. for a earc of this book.

This Monster of Mine is a story about revenge and change. It asks us this question that keeps getting repeated throughout literature which is how do we make change happen? Is it made with a bang, a quiet coup, slow legislature? When the system is corrupt, when it's rotting from the ground up, how do we make it better? This Monster of Mine commits to deeply exploring the rate of change and how these individuals fight against this avalanche of corruption and injustice. What would happen if people used the power and did it justly instead of what too often happens?

This novel would be suitable for any high school library fantasy shelf. The main character is extremely likeable as she navigates a corrupt world to uncover the reasons why her body was left for dead.

The ‘male lead’, grumpy and viciously trying to right this unjust system balances out the main character. It was an enjoyable read and I know teenagers will also enjoy it. Sometimes I did have to pause to work out who was who with certain names.

Thank you to Shalini, her publishers and netgalley for a chance to read this book!

First of all, let me start off by saying I am not a romantasy girly - I actively avoid such books. But This Monster of Mine definitely deserves all the hype those other books keep getting. It's been a very long time since I've been excited about a FMC and her LI. Tetrarch Kadra, I'll have you, monstrous heart and all. I loved the "I won't fix him. I'll make him worse" thing Sarai and Kadra had going on.

Now, I will say, magic systems that rely on runes and ?bracelets to channel the magic always confuse me, but I think the book did a good job at just laying out the magic system and focusing on the rest of the story - it meant less time to really think about it, which I genuinely liked.

Ms Abeysekara is also a GIFTED writer, like ma'am, only you can make legal jargon sound sexy. I love that her legal background/knowledge was woven into the story so well.

Anyway, enough with this review - RUN to grab yourself a copy. Your Tetrarch is waiting.

3.75 stars! This was a really promising debut! I really enjoyed the writing style and I think the concept was well thought out. I liked how the author brought her experience in law to the page—it clearly shone through and set this book apart from other fantasy romances I've read. This Monster of Mine follows Sarai, who is seeking vengeance upon the people who brutalized her and left her for dead years ago. As a Petitor, she can tell if someone is telling a lie, and is assigned serve the brutal Kadra, who is one of four judges that plays by his own unforgiving rules.

She quickly suspects that Kadra is the man responsible for breaking her all those years ago, yet is forced to serve him. When I first started this book, I was ready to give it five stars immediately. That prologue started with a bang, and I liked how the author leaned into the dark fantasy genre. However, the story lost me a bit in the middle and I'm torn.

I think a slower burn between the love interest would've fit the tone of this story more. The turnaround from enemies to lovers was way too quick for the set up of hate that was the foundation of their relationship. The plot twists also weren't entirely revolutionary or surprising to me. The concept and writing style were great, it was just the romance and plot twists didn't strike the right chords with me. This dark fantasy romance has all the trappings of a hit book. I am just more partial to a slower burn. Shalini Abeysekara is a gifted writer and I look forward to reading what she comes out with next!

I had been looking forward to this book since I received a taster booklet at YALC & it did not disappoint. I devoured it within 24 hours.

It is easy to see the author has done her research & her worldbuilding was excellent. I fell in love with both of the main characters and I really hope there is a second book.

In a time of recycling the same tropes and plots in romanatsy (don’t worry, I love those tropes and plots, and I will always eat them up) this felt so FRESH.

This story follows Sarai, a woman who has experienced an incredibly traumatic event, trying to reclaim the pieces of herself that were stolen from her. She had a future, and that was destroyed, until she finds a way to piece it back together.

Sarai possesses the power to identify whether or not someone is lying. Which certainly comes in handy in the courts of Ur Dinyé, where our story takes place.

She is forced to work for a monster, a judge who along with three others (each of whom employs someone similar to Sarai and her magic), carry out judgments. Warned against growing close to the man she has only known as evil, Sarai works to unravel mysteries of murder and corruption.

This was AMAZING. The author left her previous line of work as a lawyer to write this book clearly used her knowledge and passion for justice to create this incredible story.

Themes of justice continued throughout the book, and it was so interesting to ponder just what justice is to any one person.

There are two central mysteries at the root of this book, and the author does a good job at steering you through them in an excellent fashion. I never felt like I wasn’t getting enough info on either mystery.

The romance is a SLOW burn, so be warned. I adore a slow burn, so this worked perfectly for me!

I so greatly appreciate the content warnings at the beginning of this book, as it is quite heavy at times. Readers should take care and read these warnings.

I simply loved this story, and would absolutely read something by Abeysekara in the future.

This is going to be a very strange review to write, mostly because it was a very strange book to read. I’m honestly having a hard time thinking of a book that was more of a roller coaster ride than this one. One minute I’m loving it, whipping through action scenes, swooning over the love interest. The next, I’m irate, considering DNFing, franticly scanning other reviews to see if I’m way off base or totally missing something.

Beyond the whiplash that this experience created, I was also off balance due to the fact that my usual points of interest/concern were reversed. I’m a character reader first and foremost, and more often than not, if I get through a book I’m otherwise struggling with, it comes down to the strength of the characters or the narrative voice. Here, however, the characters (more, the main character) was the problem, but the writing itself was so good that it carried me through the real deep troughs I experienced otherwise. The author simply has an excellent style and voice! The world-building was perfectly crafted, the dialogue all felt believable, hitting all of the write notes in its humorous, series, or romantic moments. And the exploration of its themes regarding law and justice were *chefs kiss.*

And, again, when I wasn’t getting bogged down in the main character, I really enjoyed the romance! The story is a true slow burn, and while the romance is important to the story, it doesn’t overshadow the other serious aspects of the story, such as the aforementioned themes regarding justice or the mystery behind what happened to Sarai. And, for his part, Kadra was an excellent romantic interest in his own right! Strong, but compassionate. Filled with purpose, but also focused on Sarai as she works through her trauma. And, honestly, a hell of a lot more patient with her more ridiculous moments that I ever would have been.

And then, there’s Sarai. Now, if she had simply been an unlikable heroine through and through, we probably wouldn’t be here, good writing bedamned. No, instead, she has a lot of strengths as a narrator! I enjoyed most of her inner voice, and her motivations and magical abilities were all very interesting. The problem, however, came down to her approach to discovering the truth behind the attempt on her life. To get into my feelings with this, I’m going to have to go into some spoilers of actions in the first half of the book. For those who want spoiler free, I’ll just say she makes wild leaps of logic throughout that make zero sense. The rest of this review, however, will be a bit more in-depth with my problems here.

SPOILERS BELOW!

So, a little backstory: years ago, someone attempted to kill Sarai. The nature of the crime left her body and mind broken, with all but the barest fragments of memory of the event wiped from her mind. All she does remember is a specific voice, one that instructs another person to patch her up and get her out of the city, granted in a rough and tough tone of voice. In the years since, there has been a suicide spree, with many individuals with magical abilities like Sarai seeming to kill themselves in odd ways. Years later, she returns to try to discover what happened and who tried to kill her. Almost immediately, she recognizes the voice from her memories as Kadra.

Now, as readers, we know that Kadra can’t have been the attempted murderer, simply because we know we’re reading a romantic fantasy novel and he’s the romantic interest. Sarai couldn’t (and shouldn’t!) think this way, too. However, from the memories she does have, even she admits early in the book that whomever the voice belonged to was responsible for patching her up and could have very well been there for other reasons than being the person behind the attempt on her life. I read a paragraph from her saying just this and I thought, “Great, phew! We got the obvious bit out of the way right from the start and reinforced the idea that the true mystery here is why Kadra was there, why he helped her, and why he banished her out of the city.”

Unfortunately, no. In the very next chapter, Sarai is full-on convinced that Kadra must have been the one to try to kill her (somehow immediately forgetting/disregarding the fact that he then, inexplicably, saved her?? Why he wouldn’t have just finished her off for good is simply…never mentioned or thought of). What’s worse, Sarai begins to suspect that Kadra must also be behind the deaths of the others like her, those who have been supposedly committing suicide.

Early in their time working together, Kadra and Sarai go to the morgue to look over the body of the most recent “suicide victim.” While there, Sarai witnesses Kadra fighting with the coroner over the manner of death, insisting that it couldn’t be a suicide (something that Sarai agrees with, after viewing the body). The coroner, on the other hand, is sure it’s a suicide and has ruled it as such. What’s more, she’s sick of Kadra coming by FIVE OR SIX TIMES before this over the last few months to argue this very point! Sarai, internally, goes on to think this: “Aha! Kadra must be behind this! He’s perfectly positioned himself to cover up his crimes by being the investigator behind them!!”

Girl, what?? No one thought this guy was murdered EXCEPT Kadra! If it wasn’t for him, this guy would have been buried and listed as a suicide months ago! And yet somehow, Sarai, dumb dumb that she is, has decided that it’s totally reasonable and smart that a murderer would stage an elaborate scene to make a crime look like a suicide, and then, after completely getting away with it, spend the next few months arguing with a coroner, insisting that it was, in fact, a murder! It honestly boggled my mind.

Next, a few days later, Kadra decides that he and Sarai should go inform the family that this guy didn’t commit suicide but was killed and that they’re looking into it. Sarai, SUPREME DUMB DUMB that she is, thinks to herself this: “Great! Maybe while I’m there I can uncover proof that Kadra was behind it!!”

Girl, WHAT?!?! You think that Kadra murdered this guy, set up an elaborate staged suicide, called that very same staging into question, and is now going to take some a woman with incredible magical abilities back to the home of the victim where he just so happened to leave around evidence that explicitly condemns him?? What is he getting out of this?? How is this helping him and not, as any normal person would think, clearly revealing him to be the only person most likely to have NOT killed these people. And again, throughout this, Sarai never deals with the fact that her theory of Kadra as the man behind her own murder attempt is completely blown out of the water by the simple fact that he WAS THE ONE TO SAVE HER!

The face-palming throughout all of this was frankly appalling. I won’t go into more details, but these flaws in thinking and ridiculous theorizing continued on well over the halfway mark in the book. Later, there are even more “revelations” that Sarai takes as confirmation of Kadra’s guilt, all of which are equally as stupid as the two examples I listed above. Even writing about it now, I’m getting mad about it all again.

What’s worse, as I said, so much about this book was clicking so well for me! The writing was so strong, the story-telling was good, Kadra was excellent! All the right pieces were there. But somehow, it feels like the author went astray with Sarai herself, as if she knew she wanted to create this suspicion between Sarai and Kadra, but couldn’t quite manage to make it actually work. So, instead, Sarai is just an idiot who thinks completely illogical things, just to maintain the mystery element behind Kadra and his involvement.

All of this said, I’ll definitely check out another book by this author. I think she’s got great potential, and with a few tweaks, I could have loved this book! Unfortunately, I couldn’t get past Sarai herself; I can’t remember the last time I read a book where a main character was this flawed in their reasoning for so long. However, other readers may be less bothered with it, particularly if characters are less important for you. The vibes of the story and the romance itself were very good!

Rating 7: I’d give this a 6 just for Sarai herself. But the actual writing and world-building deserves enough praise to bump it up to a 7.

Review will go live on The Library Ladies on April 2

The blurb seemed very interesting but it wasn't what I expected. The prologue was creepy but intriguing, even though I am not a fan of prologues. After that, I found it very confusing —too many characters were thrown at once. I was not following the story or purpose of the story. I didn't feel for Sarai. I couldn't connect with the writing style. I tried but it just didn't work for me.

4,5 ⭐

I loved this book from start to finish, it was original and well written.

My favorite part was definitely Sarai's background story, complex and so powerful at the same time. Kadra was interesting and I enjoyed reading of them together!

I have to say I loved how the whole plot turned out, I was so anxious to see what the author was going to be doing and I wasn't disappointed.

I loved the second characters (loved and hated of course) because I found them to have their own space and time, which is usually difficult to write.

Definitely look out for this book!!

This Monster of Mine was a dark fantasy that featured all my favourite things: political intrigue, a twist filled mystery, complicated characters and a slow burn to the max romance.

The story follows Sarai. After being attacked and left for dead four years ago she craves justice, vengeance against the people that hurt her. So when the chance to become a Petitor, a prosecutor who can magically detect lies, appears she jumps at the chance, wary of being back in the place of her attack, but also knowing it is the only chance she will have to find out what happened four years ago. Sarai is one of those characters you just instantly bond with, someone a little broken but still with plenty of fight left in her. She knows hard work, but even she isn't prepared for the toll being a Petitor will put on her. She's a character filled with anger and grief, joy and hope, and even when she came across as a little naive you couldn't help but hope for the best outcome for her. How Abeysekara writes her story, with her grasping for memories of that night, all the while believing that the one person she cares for might be to blame was... torturous in parts, but it really allowed us to almost jump into her character.

Though the story is told solely from Sarai's POV Abeysekara still graces us with a tight knit band of side characters. I did feel like I wanted more depth to some of these, but they played their parts well enough, even if we struggled with their motives sometimes. But the two characters we spend the most time with are Cisure, Sarai's friend, and I use that word loosely because boy was she the absolute worst. And Kadra, the Tetrarch that Sarai get's assigned to as Petitor.

What I would have given to have Kadra's POV smattered throughout this book. His character was developed well enough, he gets plenty of page time and it's easy enough to fall under his spell, I just so desperately wanted a deeper look into his motives, into why exactly he felt that he needed Sarai specifically. That being said, the tension between these two was palpable from their first meeting. It did give off 'will they kill each other, or will they fuck' vibes for a lot of the book, and Abeysekara certainly makes us wait to find out. But what a wait it was, filled with tension, longing looks and touches, every scene between them just brought another dimension to the story, and I guess my only gripe was how Kadra looked like he wanted to murder anyone who hurt Sarai, when he was the main person putting her in danger... I guess he's just a man of contradictions.

The world and magic system were incredibly well developed and I loved learning about the history of it all. Abeysekara's writing style is slow and delectable and really drags you into the story, and what a story it is. Filled with mystery, murder, romance and so many plot twists. I did find the main antagonist fairly predictable, but I guess I just don't really trust anyone who wants to make themselves a saint. Abeysekara really delves into classism, racism, corruption, nepotism... I could go on and on talking about the social injustices that are featured in this book, but she never makes them too on the nose. It's more real, Sarai mentioning that she talks about being poor and the hardships that came with that simply because she was, she knew no other life, so how could she talk about anything else.

My one little gripe was how often Sarai went back and forth over her feelings for Kadra. He's not a good guy, we learn that pretty early on, even if he had nothing to do with her attack he takes pleasure in killing those who have wronged him, and isn't afraid of using his power to further his needs. She just fell for him a little too quickly for me, and while Abeysekara makes us wait for anything really physically romantic to happen between the two of them, it felt it a little too far fetched that Sarai would have feelings for the person she believes tortured her and threw her off a rooftop.

All in all I felt this was a really strong fantasy story. I enjoyed everything: the world building, magic system, characters and romance. It all felt unique in it's own way and I would absolutely love to return to it.

Anytime a book involves solving mysteries and magic that revolves around being able to tell if someone is lying or telling the truth, I know I'm going to be in for a good time.

Four years ago, our FMC Sarai was left for dead after she was pushed off a tower. She's been saving money and working hard in a desolate town in order to save enough to attend a prestigious academy and become a full fledged Petitor, aka a human lie detector. Luckily, new circumstances give her the opportunity to have her life change and perhaps finally learn what happened to her years ago.

This book was so close to being a five star read for me, but some things held it back. First and foremost, despite this being labeled as adult fantasy and having some truly grim moments, most of the characters acted so immaturely. I found everything to be black and white and nothing caught me by surprise or shocked me. The villains were obvious and the ending was okay I guess? Finally, despite some angst throughout the book, the actual pairing of two characters and how quickly it involved "love" turned me off a bit. I didn't feel like there was a gradual build up, it went from "I hate this person" to "I love you" in 0 to 100.

Despite those nitpicks, I did enjoy my time with this book overall.

Thank you Netgalley and Union Square & Co for an ARC. All reviews are my own.

This was a fantastic, political, dark fantasy romance—I can hardly believe it's a debut!

I debated between 4 and 5 stars until the end but ultimately decided to round it up because I really have nothing to complain about and this was too good of a debut.
I can't put my finger on what was missing for me that made me debate the rating. The more I think about it the more it seems like it had to do with the romance—which was great and slow burn (nothing happened until like ~80% in) but the scenes between the MCs in the first half of the book were few and when they were together nothing was happening between them, so I think that if their moments were more intense/emotional that would've tipped the scales right away.

Not that the story wasn't emotional enough — This Monster of Mine was such a dark, angry, violent book—I loved every minute of it.
TMOM was very political, exploring themes such as corruption and justice in a world that values money more than anything else. If you're not into political fantasy this book won't be for you—don't get fooled by it being promoted as a "romantasy", this is first a fantasy and then a romance.

I loved how dark the world was and the way it didn't shy away from murder and torture and and the grim reality of a corrupt system focused solely on profit.
I found the world building and the magic system fascinating and I think they were both well fleshed out.
I loved both MCs but especially Kadra. He's exactly the type of love interest I love to read about — morally grey anti-hero with questionable morals who does a lot of wrong things for the right reasons. He was also smart and kind and excellent at reading people. Our FMC Sarai was his balance—she made Kadra better, while he made her worse lmaoo it's a bit of a corruption arc people and I was so here for it.

Cisuré can burn in hell and that's all I'm gonna say here.

I don't wanna give away too much of the plot because the big mystery about Sarai's fall in the beginning is connected to another mystery at the core of the story so read and find out.

I want to point out that this is a duology but despite that it doesn't end on a cliffhanger. More or less what happens in TMOM is wrapped up by the end and you may think it's a standalone but it isn't. If you pay attention to the details in the last 2 chapters you'll catch the foreshadowing for the sequel. I'm super excited to see where Shalini takes the story in book 2 especially after everything that went down at the Aequitas toward the end.

Oh!! And I still haven't forgotten about that myth Cassandane told Sarai about so I'm going to impatiently await for book 2 and see if we learn more about the gods and what how that myth relates to the story.

eternal gratitude to netgalley and the publisher for the arc

5 stars what an absolute delight this book was.
It and everything among, brutal politics, twisted characters, enemies to lovers arc and more. These characters and this worldbuilding was fantastic Sarai and Kadra were wonderful, their chemistry was sky high and the ending was great. Potential hints for a sequel leaves me bewildered for how Shalini is going to surpass this level of epicness.

One of those novels that takes a little bit to truly captivate you, This Monster of Mine is an intense and captivating journey once it does. Admittedly, I wasn't instantly engrossed in the plot, but as I settled into its cadence, I found it impossible to put down.

The idea is intriguing: Sarai, an 18-year-old who harbors resentment for the man who attempted to murder her, is transformed into a Petitor, a magical prosecutor with the ability to spot lies. She is matched with a ruthless, cruel judge named Kadra, whom she holds accountable for her near-death experience and several other killings. Sarai and Kadra have a strong relationship from the beginning, with Sarai balancing her need for vengeance with her attraction to Kadra's strength and charisma.

The way the conflict between Sarai's mission and her love for Kadra was developed was what I found most admirable about this book. One of those morally ambiguous characters that you can't help but find fascinating is Kadra. Despite his brutality, I found the way he handles the corruption in the city to be fascinating, and that intricacy kept me alert the entire time.

The tale is made more suspenseful and dangerous by the political intrigue, and the world-building, which draws inspiration from Ancient Rome, is rich and captivating. The romance is all the more interesting because it is forbidden and full of strife. I was completely engrossed in Sarai's voyage and the lethal game she was playing by the time the plot settled into its rhythm.

I couldn't stop flipping the pages once the tale gained up speed, even if it took some time to get to the main points. This Monster of Mine is a dark and thrilling book if you like political intrigue, morally complex people, and forbidden passion.

Ancient Roman politics meets a rich, gritty fantasy setting in this stunning debut.

"Is that what I'm supposed to do?" she asked bitterly. "Hide behind powerful men?"
"Use me." His voice was hypnotic. "I'll shield you."

If I could give this book six stars I would. The way Shalini weaves a complex, endlessly intriguing political landscape with unique magical elements, and a torturous, complicated slow-burn is artful. Each twist and turn, each carefully placed red-herring had me sneaking pages here and there just to find out more, and the dynamic between the FMC and MMC was so masterfully done that I found myself utterly enraptured. This Monster of Mine is fast paced, gripping, dark romantic fantasy with endless yearning and twists-and-turns that leave you never quite sure who's being truthful.

As a neurodivergent woman, FMC Sarai's relentless performance of social acceptability both physical and behavioural spoke deeply to me, and her development throughout the course of the book was incredibly satisfying. The characters are well fleshed out, with pasts and motives that we peel back as the story unfolds. My only apprehension about this title was the FMC's age. Sarai is eighteen, however, her behaviour, outlook, and choices easily read as a character in their mid-twenties. The trouble I often have with younger MCs is frustration borne from their decisions and reactions, so it really wasn't an issue for me.

If you like your MMCs powerful, infuriatingly guarded, and very firmly in the morally grey camp, you're in for a treat. Kadra plays his cards extremely close to his chest and along with Sarai I was constantly questioning his motives, unsure of his true nature.

With it's stunning prose, political intrigue, and delicious slow-burn, this is a perfect title for fans of When the Moon Hatched and Daughter of No Worlds. With one book, Shalini has become an auto-buy author for me, and I can't wait to read her future releases.

**Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC**

Did I binge this in one day? Absolutely yes. This is a book I want to come back to and reread because it was excellent. I loved Sarai… she was such a strong lead and her story was beautiful and heartbreaking. I loved her strength, I loved her determination and fight, I loved her sense of justice and fairness, and her loyalty. I also loved her interactions with Kadra and the slow burn attraction between them.

I feel like we know the villains right from the beginning but, just because we are aware of who is potentially guilty we still need to uncover the evidence and this book is very much about law and justice and the corruption of it as well. I found myself absorbed in this story and the characters. I thought the magic system was intriguing and I love the way it interacted with the judicial aspects of the book as well as with the religious aspects. The romance was also *chefs kiss* slow burn and done to perfection.

This is a book I’d highly recommend and it is now firmly a top read of this year for me! Thank you so much for the chance to read early!!! This one will definitely be going on my shelf!