Thanks to NetGalley & Quirk Books for the early copy in exchange for an honest review. Sadly, I DNF'ed at 20% of the way through.

Yeah, the writing was not very strong. It's got a lot of talking and not showing, it feels like my hand is being held through this book and I was getting sick of it.

It's a shame too because I think it's got a really solid idea--protagonist unlearning cult behavior through their discovery of love--but the execution was NOT there.

Rating- 4.5🌟

This story follows Valerie, a teenager who finds love and begins to discover her queer identity while growing up in a deeply oppressive environment.

Her parents have become devoted members of a religious cult rooted in harmful, patriarchal beliefs and practices.

One of the things I really love is Valerie’s inquisitiveness and curiosity
Watching her begin to question everything she's been taught and navigate her journey toward freedom is remarkable.
Also seeing her struggle with her relationship and understanding of God really struck me in the gut.

She and her girlfriend, Riley fall in love in the sweetest way and they really complement each other and grow together. I truly enjoyed their bond.
The ways they find to communicate despite the risks is seriously so creative and clever.

This book was so moving, meaningful and healing. I think will resonate even more deeply any queer person who has felt alone, oppressed, isolated by society and the people who are supposed to love them for who they are.

I highly recommend.

Thank you to Quirk books for providing a copy of this book via NetGalley.

Realistic fiction isn't my usual genre; like Valerie, the main character in this novel, I prefer fantasy. But once I started reading Gay the Pray Away, I couldn't put it down.

Valerie is 17 years old. She's been homeschooled by her mother since she finished third grade, a decision her parents made to keep her from "evil influences" - that is, children not being raised in a patriarchal religious cult. Since that time, her only contact with anyone not a member of the church her family belongs to is spent trying to bring "sinners" into the church, where they can be taught to live according to the church's precepts. Her one escape is novels, and she learned early how to choose books her parents would only glance at, rather than preread and screen for her, and one day, she finds a book that opens up her restricted world in a way she had never dreamed of - a novel about LGBTQ+ teens who are happy, in complete contrast to the furtive life she's always been taught such people live. Throughout this novel, Valerie learns about herself, and starts taking small steps toward becoming the person she wants to be, instead of the person her parents want her to be - a person who will not only not marry the boy they've picked out for her, but one who wants to spend her life with her girlfriend.

This is a coming-of-age novel, with an extra kick of discovering one's gender identity to go along with separating from one's parents. It drew me in from the first page, and it was hard to put down. Due to mature themes, including child abuse, this novel is recommended for older teens and adults; if younger teens want to read it, they should read it with a trusted adult with whom they can discuss it.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book provided by Netgalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

One of those books that you're glad exists for younger kids and that you wish had been around when you were a kid. We get a bit of a whirlwind romance (but hey, lesbians gonna lesbian) between a girl already doubting the fundamentalist church she's been raised in and the new girl who's been bought into their group as they both realize the bullshit they've been inundated in most of their life and try to get out before one or both of them are married off as child brides. A good example of a book you hope you can pass to a kid in your life to let them know that there's hope on the other side and that maybe being excommunicated or running away from your parents isn't such a bad thing after all. (It's still a best case scenario all things considered because mom helps them get out.) If you're also looking for a book that lays out the stages of these sorts of realizations in a clear way for the youth, also a good example.

I adore coming of age stories that show the time in a persons life when they go from doing what their told to questioning everything and finding themselves through that. A lovely read.

Thank you, Netgalley, the author, Quirk Books for the gifted e-book! ❤️ #gifted. My review is comprised of my honest thoughts.

Read this book if you like: coming of age stories, LGBTQ representation, religious trauma

Wow, just wow. I really enjoyed this. I was afraid at first that I wouldn't like it because it was so religious. That is the point, but the progression of the book is so good. Val discovering more about herself and seeing the harm her family/lifestyle causes is tear inducing. I highly recommend this!

This was such a beautiful book—inside and out. The main character is a queer young girl living in a cult-like Christian society. Since she doesn't know any outsiders to talk to about her situation, she's oblivious to how much better her life could be if she could muster the courage to leave. Enter the beautiful, rebellious new member of the society. When she befriends this newcomer, she realizes that she loves her and begins to yearn for a better life—one not shackled by the preposterous rules imposed on her.

I did feel that the story moved a bit too quickly, especially regarding how fast the main character came to question and dismantle the deeply rooted beliefs she grew up with. In real life, I imagine it wouldn’t be so easy to rework the very foundation of one’s identity and worldview.

That said, I loved reading about these two girls and how they explored the idea that their lives could be more beautiful—and how they could be more honest with themselves.

When I saw that this was written by Natalie Naudus, one of my FAVE audiobook narrators, I knew I had to read it. So thank you to NetGalley and Quirk Books for the ARC! Light spoilers ahead…

I also, will read anything recommended by Casey McQuiston, because I’m obsessed with everything she writes. So naturally if she has high praise for a title, it’s a knockout and this was no exception. I smiled, I cried, I had flashbacks of my religious Christian upbringing.

While not nearly as drastic as Val’s cult experiences, I grew up in a conservative, southern congregation and could relate to several of the concepts in the book. As a librarian, I CHEERED when that sweet sweater-vest man helped Val sneak that book out of the library. This is a book that I will be proud to share with my high school kiddos!

The whole time I was reading that I was thinking that it lacked...nuance, I guess? Suddenly Valerie realized she was in a cult and didn't struggle with that fact at all. Suddenly she realized she was gay and was fine with that. Suddenly she was with Riley and they were in love! It was all just...too straightforward.

Natalie Naudus ripped out my heart and put it back together again in this story that shows that love wins and that it is possible to unlearn what you have been taught.

At seventeen, most of us don't know who we are just yet. Valerie Danners knows who she is because the Institute tells her that her purpose is to finish homeschooling, get married, have as many babies as possible, and praise the Jesus. After stealing a book from a library (don't worry the librarian helped her get away with it), Valeria starts questioning the Institute and her won sexuality. That questioning turns into knowing once Riley enters the picture. Wearing pants and having short hair *GASP* Riley helps Valerie realize she might be in a cult. But under the scrutiny of her parents and the Institute Valeria has to choose if she wants to stay in the only world she's ever known.

Gay the Pray Away not only has queer teenagers trying to learn about themselves and the world, but we also get to see inside a (mostly white) religious cult. Valerie's friend Hannah says that everyone has same sex attraction and thoughts while planning wedding, showing that everyone has been brainwashed, not just Valerie. While this book was an extremely easy read, I really just wanted to hold Valerie until she felt like she was loved and accepted for who she is.

Gay the Pray Away by Natalie Naudus is an YA book about a 17 year old girl named Valerie who has grown up in a high-control conservative Christian religion. Even though she tries to follow all of her family’s and church’s strict rules, she faces constant criticism. She’s been quietly questioning her religious upbringing, but after developing a connection with another teen girl named Riley, she realizes that she wants to take steps to leave. Over the course of the book, Valerie and Riley try to keep their relationship a secret and make plans to leave the insular community behind once they turn 18.

I really enjoyed this book and, despite the incredibly frustrating challenges Valerie faces, found it incredibly hopeful. As a Youth Librarian and as someone who spent a lot of time at my local library growing up, I loved that the library was a safe space for the main character. Given current the political landscape, I hope that my library can be a place where queer teens feel comfortable being themselves.

3.5 stars.

While this was a best-case scenario type of story (I wanted something with a lot more conflict, both internal and external), I still enjoyed reading it.

The romance was really cute, and I was rooting for Val and Riley the entire time. I really liked that their relationship was shown positively, and that they were both accepting and understanding of each other's situations. Riley was such a great foil to Val, and I loved how she brought Val out of her shell.

I loved that this story sent a very hopeful message, and I hope that it brings comfort to younger readers in similar situations.

I won't lie though, I was expecting a more emotional deep dive, with a lot more of the nitty gritty and the ugly side of things when it comes to growing up in a close-minded community. This felt like it was for the younger YA set, since it only hinted at the darker issues within religious cults. Any time the book mentioned something extreme, like child abuse or sexual misconduct, it felt really blunted.

And I really hate to say this, but a lot of it read like it was written from an outsider's perspective. I honestly wasn't sure why or how Val was so easily accepting of her queer identity. I was expecting more guilt and shame, and not to mention, a lot more self-introspection on her feelings, thoughts, and actions.

And while it was cool that Val did a lot of research at the library on topics like queerness and the patriarchy, it didn't feel realistic that she just accepted what she read without questioning it.

I'm not sure if this makes sense, but Val as a character felt really detached from her surroundings most of the time. Like she was living in a religious cult, but her personal values were already so different that I wasn't even sure how she was faking it, or how she didn't really do a deep dive into her old values vs. her new values. I wanted a character I could relate to, since I also had a similar journey when I was young. But this wasn't really it.

Despite my complaints, this was still a cute romance novel, and I enjoyed its hopeful theme.

Thank you to Quirk Books and NetGalley for this arc.

This story felt very realistic without making it too depressing. Of course the subject matter is inherently sad, but the author does a very good job of keeping it hopeful while being truthful to the story. The lovestory also felt very natural and I could really feel with protagonist while she gets to know herself.

Valerie doesn't know it yet, but she's in a cult. The catalyst is a queer book at the public that she knows her mom will never let her check out. So, she steals it instead and devours it. One day, Riley shows up at her church. Valerie has to figure out if she just thinks Riley is cool or if there is something more.

This is a really important story for a lot of teens. It was a quick read but packed in a lot of story in its pages. People that are familiar with evangelical christianity and its leaders will see some familiar (and slightly changed) names.

This book was a delight! Valerie’s family is very conservative and religious, and we watch as she becomes disillusioned with the church and begins to find her own sense of self-worth and independence. Natalie Naudus depicts the church’s harmful rhetoric in a way that is suitable for teen readers and emphasizes the power of books and finding joy- especially queer joy- despite other people’s beliefs.

This was really beautiful and sweet. I liked the characters and their romance, but i think what really sticks out to me the most are the way the author handles the heavy topics. I'm not a christian, but i thought it was really beautiful how the author managed to condemn fundamentalism but also highlight the good parts of Christianity. It felt like a very loving book, a book that I would love to get into the hands of Christian teenagers, to show them that there is so much love they could give and receive if they avoid the cult that is fundamentalism.
I think as far as YA contemporary goes, this is what it's all about- a book that can be enjoyed by both teens and adults but has a special loving message for younger readers.
Truly this just felt like a lovely story about finding your place in the world and making yourself at home.

I received an ARC of this title from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own and were not affected by the free copy.

Valerie is in a cult, she just doesn't know it yet. But when she finds a queer book in the library, and meets "rebel" Riley, she starts to see the cracks in the way she's been forced to think.

This book broke me a little bit. It's one thing to hear about these cults, or even listen to survivors stories, but reading Valerie's though physically hurt me. Watching her break through the walls forced upon her made me tear up. I enjoyed seeing how quickly Valerie threw herself into researching things outside of her family's beliefs, though I do question how accurate that is to the people living it.

There are a few things in this book that I didn't love. I wish there had been more depth in the relationship between Valerie and Riley, it felt very "their eyes locked across a crowded room and they knew that they were the one." However, I also admit that I don't know what it's like being raised like this, so a fast emotional connection might be the only way to survive. At times, the writing also felt very stilted, but it also felt intentional, adding to the very rigid way of thinking Valerie has been forced into. It was not a deal-breaker for me, I finished this entire book in just a few hours.

Overall, I really did like this book, and think it was incredibly important view into a world too many people are stuck in. I will be keeping an eye on this author and reading her future books (and probably searching out some of the books she has narrated!)

“To everyone who was served hatred and told it was love—we deserve better.” 💔
This book broke and healed me. It’s honest, tender, and incredibly necessary. I’ve struggled with people using religion to harm others, and this story shows the beauty of queer love, faith, and personal truth.
The God I believe in—the one I love—has no room for hate. Only love. 💛
Favorite quote:
🕊️ “If God is more loving than I’ve been taught, then I think God would be okay with me needing some time to untangle this… I think God would want me to feel a shred of happiness.”
🙏 Forever grateful for librarians and libraries, their quiet bravery matters. And shoutout to the amazing resources at the back of the book. I wish I had copies to stock my Little Free Library. This book is a gift to LGBTQ+ youth, to anyone deconstructing, and to those who believe love should never come with conditions.

This is such an important book.

Valerie is part of a cult. Christian fundamentalism is, without any doubt, a cult. Growing up in this cult, she is forced to have her father and brother view all of her clothes to ensure they do not have "lustful" thoughts about her clothing. When she meets Riley, Valerie is forced to examine her same sex attraction. As the two teens grow closer, Valerie cannot help but wish to escape the clutches of the cult.

This is a great example of why having a variety of books available to ALL kids is important. Reading promotes empathy and gives the reader a window into other lives, which ended up being vital for Valerie.

This is too old for my students, but I recommend it for high school and public libraries. In many ways, I wish it had a different cover, not because I don't like this one but because I want the type of kids who need it to be able to access it.

Thank you to Quirk Books and Net Galley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

This book really surprised me. Natalie did a really good job of tackling the heavy topics this book deals with (religious cults, homophobia, self discovery, etc.) I do think now more than ever that books like this are really needed. Such a great read!