Incredible book, I really enjoyed reading the authors personal stories and anecdotes from the L word

An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word—including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the scenes of the show and their personal lives.

So Gay For You is a combination of Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig's individual life stories and their combined experience of filming The L Word. I loved learning more about these two women and about the show. Their stories are so interesting and they describe everything so well. Reading this felt like sitting down to have a chat with two friends.
As a fan of The L Word, it was neat to learn the behind the scenes stuff. Casting, storylines, how they promoted the show, etc. It was also a reminder of where the world was at in 2004 when the show started. Gay marriage didn't exist, Don't Ask Don't Tell was still in effect and technology was completely different. We didn't carry the world in our pockets. The show, which ended in 2009, is kind of like a time capsule in that way. I also enjoyed hearing about what Leisha and Kate did outside of the show.
I recommend this to fans of Leisha, Kate, the show, biographies, LGBTQ+ stories and good books. I was provided a free copy of this book by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinons are my own.

As a huge fan of both Leisha and Kate I was super excited to get my hands on this book and it did not disappoint!! I love the way the way they co-wrote the book. Each chapter flows seamlessly between both of their recounts of the same time period. The way they weaved what was happening in their personal lives set against the backdrop of filming the L Word really helped connect you to their stories. It was a great read and I purchased a few copies for my chosen family.

An honest, funny and reflective look into these two actors life journey so far and the joys of decades of friendship. I enjoyed all their reflection on L Word time and lore. I loved how frank Kate especially was during the downfalls of the reboot, especially as far as the heteronormative nature of the storylines.

There was so many passages and lore I had no idea about, this book was a great distinguisher to differentiate the characters vs the actors. They shared a lot of information I'd never have know about them, their characters, their real lives, their friendship and how different their own journeys were from those they played.

I love that they address the problematic nature of the original series, as well as the sanitization of the reboot, I wish they expanded a bit on that and maybe other work they've done to further LGBTQ+ rights/representation (if any) other than being on the L Word and living out and proud.

Structure-wise, I wish the name of the person's perspective was displayed at the top of the page. Multiple times, I had to flip back to figure out who was speaking, especially early on when I can't really distinguish their voice as clearly. A bit nitpicky, but editing-wise/publishing, some of the super short page-long chapters could've definitely been added together.

Overall, very interesting and a must-read for fans of the show.

If you're a fan of 'The L Word', I definitely recommend this book! I enjoyed the behind the scenes stories about their lives before the show, during the show, and after the show. I liked the context that was provided to the creation of the show.

If you grew up watching The L Word, this book is for you. I felt like I was Kate and Leisha's shadow walking along side them as they take you through the trajectory of birth of this monumental show. Highly, highly recommend to all LGBTQIA+ individuals.

• stars of the iconic queer tv show from the aughts, leisha hailey & kate moennig, with their trademark combination of wit, humour, & unflinching honesty, share stories about how they were cast on ‘the l word,’ filming, living in vancouver, coming out, and what they’ve been able to do because of the show. from their first day on set, kate & leisha were inseparable, and that sentiment remains true today.
• as a fan of the show (in the way that so many queer millennials are), it was so much fun to get insight from two of my favourite characters on what the casting process was like, and details into filming a show for 6 years.
• kate’s discussion of her discovery of her queer identity, and how that was a huge topic of discussion in the public space (basically forcing her out at a young age), was my favourite part of the book!

I truly enjoyed reading/listening to this book, I read the hardcover I received while listening to the audiobook at the same time and I recommend it to truly feel immersed in the story.

I love reading celebrity biography/memoirs, and this one did not disappoint. I admit, I’ve never actually seen The L-Word, and wasn’t familiar with any of the characters/actors before reading this. However, listening to Kate and Leisha describe their lives before during and after the show, I definitely want to find where to stream it and catch up! These two have a great way of telling their stories, are incredibly funny, and have faced so much adversity I couldn’t even imagine.

One of my favorite parts of the way this book is written is that each of them tells their stories, and intertwines their perspectives of things. Words fail me, but basically you get Kate’s POV and Leisha’s POV of things happening in the same timeline. While each of them describes similar events, their viewpoints and way of telling the story are radically different. Each of their personalities really shines through and neither one overpowers the other.

My only negative is that the chapters were so long. It would have been easy to stop mid-chapter because of the way the chapters are broken into sections by author, but I also feel like each chapter could have been each of their POV once, and then next chapter.

It reads easily on screen/paper, but not as easily for someone listening.

I really enjoyed this memoir from two best friends who I have enjoyed watching on The L Word. It’s neat to hear about the behind the scenes of how the show was made and how they became friends through the experience.

After watching the LWord and following the cast as they move on, it was nice to get some insight I about these two. It was also great to read a biography where there is only positive comments about fellow cast members rather than infighting.
Goodreads

Picture it - it's the early 2000s, I'm watching the L Word with my boyfriend. I am very closeted, but very open about my love and absolute admiration of women. But still living the straight life. And here comes Jenny. GAH she wrecked my life - all the women on the L Word wrecked my life. I spent YEARS wondering how I could live that life.
Now it's 2025 - I'm out loud, still very open about my love and adoration of women. Walking the line between femme and butch on the daily.
And now I have these women - this audiobook is gonna be on repeat for a long time to come.
Hearing these women were just as close in RL made the show that much better. Hearing their truth, their lives - AND that Yoplait commercial - So Gay for YOU! Gah!

As a fan of Kate and Leisha - from The L Word, to Leisha's music, to their podcast Pants, I almost had no choice but to enjoy this! As someone familiar with them and their stories and storytelling, this book delivered nearly exactly what I hoped it would. Despite there being a wealth of blogging, recaps, articles, and podcasts episodes about the creation, development and production of The L Word, I was really glad to see that these stories felt fresh and furthermore like it felt like Kate and Leisha went out of their way to include never before heard stories. I also really appreciate hearing their perspectives looking back on the show all these years on, with all the experiences they've had since and plenty of time having passed to allowed their memories of it to evolve and grow. It still feels so important and significant, the role this show played in the lives of so many LGBTQ people. And there's definitely still a hole left that has yet to be filled by its loss. It was nice to spend hours with these equally significant people hearing about not only what it meant to them, but their personal backgrounds and intimate lives. I'm very very glad they did the book!

Additionally, in the audiobook version I enjoyed listening to them perform their impressions of one another, casemates, crew, and friends and family members across each of their lives. I also really enjoyed the back and forth delivery of their sections, with each of them reflecting on typically the same time period from their overlapping perspectives.

Edited to add: The sections where Kate rails on the production decisions made during the L Word reboot Gen Q are soooooo satisfying. We actually really needed this peak behind the curtain, for the culture. It genuinely needed to be put down on the record to explain what exactly happened there for so much to go so weirdly with the show. It's sad to hear that their suggestions weren't heeded and that they were left out of the major decisions for the show when for the fans, they really were the heart of it. All to say, I'm truly glad they shared and explained what happened. It seemed like it was satisfying for them too!

Book 113 of 350 ~ 2025

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This and Queer as Folk were such eye openers. How these two actresses write is how I expected them to be irl if it makes sense?

Finding out how they first met, found each other, and more importantly, what this pair of pants go through... they generously let us into their world.

I read the ebook, and then after I got their voices in my head after the first two chapters, I synced my reading with the audiobook.

It fits like a glove.

Will make you laugh, will make you sigh, on a whole will make you feel.

Love this.

I received a complimentary copy of this ebook and audiobook. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

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This is just such a fun, nostalgic read. I enjoyed having the dual perspective, made it more broad coverage of the show and what the group was like.

I watched the original series but not the reboot or Kate & Leisha’s podcast. That said, I loved this joint memoir. Thank you both for sharing your stories! It makes me want to watch The L Word again.

So Gay For You follows Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey as they look back on the early days of The L Word—a show they thought would be a small, unknown project that ended up becoming a groundbreaking piece of queer TV history. From their first meeting at auditions to becoming real-life best friends, the book dives into their journey through fame, identity, and chosen family, all while highlighting just how much the show meant to the LGBTQ+ community. It’s full of behind-the-scenes stories, laughs, and heartfelt moments that show just how deep their bond runs. As a huge fan of The L Word, I knew I had to read this, and it did not disappoint! It’s funny, emotional, and full of love—you can really feel their friendship. I loved reminiscing with them and soaking in all the nostalgia!

Thank you to Netgalley, St. Martin's Press and the authors for a gifted copy of the book, an ARC and ALC!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC! As a big fan of The L Word and of Leisha and Kate, this memoir was everything I could’ve hoped for. It’s equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, and nostalgic. The chemistry that made their on-screen friendship iconic absolutely shines through on the page, raw, witty, and deeply personal. I loved getting a deeper look into their lives, before, during, and after the show, and appreciated how honest and funny they were about their journeys as queer women in Hollywood. More than just a memoir, So Gay for You is a love letter to queer friendship and chosen family. If you loved The L Word, or just love them, So Gay for You is a must-read.

This was a nice read that I liked a lot. I never watched the show but was a fan of Kate from another show. This book made me curious about the show and all the hype that surrounded it. Also nice to see things from their perspectives and how it changed their trajectory. It was fun and a nice look at their friendship.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for providing me with a digital ARC of this book!

I had fun watching The L Word for the first time several years ago, right around when Generation Q was announced. I never got around to watching the reboot, but I did listen to Kate and Leisha's podcast for a few months (before eventually falling behind and forgetting to pick up with it again). So, I wouldn't say I'm the most devoted fan of the show, but I liked it enough that I was intrigued when I saw this memoir was coming out about Kate and Leisha's lives before, during, and after The L Word. It's exactly what I expected it to be when I initially requested it on NetGalley - it reads in a similar tone to what I remember their podcast sounding like. So Gay for You is a comedic, heartwarming book about friendship, found family, and the authors' experiences as queer actresses in the 2000s and 2010s.

This book deals with a few heavy topics, but it is largely lighthearted and entertaining. It's full of anecdotes about the TV show, so I definitely recommend it to fans of The L Word. If you're simply looking to read a funny memoir about LGBTQ+ actors and haven't watched the show, I'm sure you would still find it to be interesting, but you probably wouldn't get as much out of the middle third, which is basically all about The L Word's production and the cast's relationships. I learned so many interesting little tidbits that provide fascinating context to the show. It also felt like both authors were being genuinely open throughout the book, and I appreciated reading their thoughts about how groundbreaking the show was, while also acknowledging some of its issues.

The book is written chronologically through back-and-forth narration by both authors. I wasn't sure how much I would like this format in a nonfiction book, but I actually found it to work surprisingly well. Both Kate and Leisha had pretty different upbringings, so it was interesting to read about how they ended up together on the same show (and initially both read for the character of Shane!). The transitions felt smooth, especially because both authors kept a quick pace. They used different enough writing tones that I didn't have too much difficulty telling their sections apart, but I imagine listening to the audiobook would be an even better reading experience, since both authors narrate it.

I only have a couple of small critiques. First, I sometimes had trouble keeping the timelines of everything straight in my head. This may be fixed in the final version, but at least in the advanced edition, the editing could have been a bit tighter to make the timeline easier to follow. Additionally, I would have liked the book to go a little deeper in some chapters. The fast pacing made it easy to read, but it felt like the authors covered so much ground without stopping to explore some moments that might have been more impactful if given more page time. I was fully drawn into these women's lives while reading, but I frequently found myself surprised when the perspective would shift and a specific story would end without much of a conclusion.

Critiques aside, this book is so bright, nostalgic, and fun! I've been having trouble getting through books this year, but I really looked forward to picking this up every night. I even limited myself to a couple of chapters per day, in order to make the reading experience last longer, since it was such a warm and comforting read. If you're a fan of The L Word or Kate and Leisha's Pants podcast, you'll almost certainly enjoy this. If you haven't checked out either of those, then I would probably recommend watching at least a few episodes of the show or listening to their podcast before picking this up. Now I'm fully considering doing a rewatch of The L Word!

3.75 stars, rounded up to 4 stars.