• stars of the iconic queer tv show from the aughts, leisha hailey & kate moennig, with their trademark combination of wit, humour, & unflinching honesty, share stories about how they were cast on ‘the l word,’ filming, living in vancouver, coming out, and what they’ve been able to do because of the show. from their first day on set, kate & leisha were inseparable, and that sentiment remains true today.
• as a fan of the show (in the way that so many queer millennials are), it was so much fun to get insight from two of my favourite characters on what the casting process was like, and details into filming a show for 6 years.
• kate’s discussion of her discovery of her queer identity, and how that was a huge topic of discussion in the public space (basically forcing her out at a young age), was my favourite part of the book!

I truly enjoyed reading/listening to this book, I read the hardcover I received while listening to the audiobook at the same time and I recommend it to truly feel immersed in the story.

I love reading celebrity biography/memoirs, and this one did not disappoint. I admit, I’ve never actually seen The L-Word, and wasn’t familiar with any of the characters/actors before reading this. However, listening to Kate and Leisha describe their lives before during and after the show, I definitely want to find where to stream it and catch up! These two have a great way of telling their stories, are incredibly funny, and have faced so much adversity I couldn’t even imagine.

One of my favorite parts of the way this book is written is that each of them tells their stories, and intertwines their perspectives of things. Words fail me, but basically you get Kate’s POV and Leisha’s POV of things happening in the same timeline. While each of them describes similar events, their viewpoints and way of telling the story are radically different. Each of their personalities really shines through and neither one overpowers the other.

My only negative is that the chapters were so long. It would have been easy to stop mid-chapter because of the way the chapters are broken into sections by author, but I also feel like each chapter could have been each of their POV once, and then next chapter.

It reads easily on screen/paper, but not as easily for someone listening.

I really enjoyed this memoir from two best friends who I have enjoyed watching on The L Word. It’s neat to hear about the behind the scenes of how the show was made and how they became friends through the experience.

After watching the LWord and following the cast as they move on, it was nice to get some insight I about these two. It was also great to read a biography where there is only positive comments about fellow cast members rather than infighting.
Goodreads

Picture it - it's the early 2000s, I'm watching the L Word with my boyfriend. I am very closeted, but very open about my love and absolute admiration of women. But still living the straight life. And here comes Jenny. GAH she wrecked my life - all the women on the L Word wrecked my life. I spent YEARS wondering how I could live that life.
Now it's 2025 - I'm out loud, still very open about my love and adoration of women. Walking the line between femme and butch on the daily.
And now I have these women - this audiobook is gonna be on repeat for a long time to come.
Hearing these women were just as close in RL made the show that much better. Hearing their truth, their lives - AND that Yoplait commercial - So Gay for YOU! Gah!

As a fan of Kate and Leisha - from The L Word, to Leisha's music, to their podcast Pants, I almost had no choice but to enjoy this! As someone familiar with them and their stories and storytelling, this book delivered nearly exactly what I hoped it would. Despite there being a wealth of blogging, recaps, articles, and podcasts episodes about the creation, development and production of The L Word, I was really glad to see that these stories felt fresh and furthermore like it felt like Kate and Leisha went out of their way to include never before heard stories. I also really appreciate hearing their perspectives looking back on the show all these years on, with all the experiences they've had since and plenty of time having passed to allowed their memories of it to evolve and grow. It still feels so important and significant, the role this show played in the lives of so many LGBTQ people. And there's definitely still a hole left that has yet to be filled by its loss. It was nice to spend hours with these equally significant people hearing about not only what it meant to them, but their personal backgrounds and intimate lives. I'm very very glad they did the book!

Additionally, in the audiobook version I enjoyed listening to them perform their impressions of one another, casemates, crew, and friends and family members across each of their lives. I also really enjoyed the back and forth delivery of their sections, with each of them reflecting on typically the same time period from their overlapping perspectives.

Edited to add: The sections where Kate rails on the production decisions made during the L Word reboot Gen Q are soooooo satisfying. We actually really needed this peak behind the curtain, for the culture. It genuinely needed to be put down on the record to explain what exactly happened there for so much to go so weirdly with the show. It's sad to hear that their suggestions weren't heeded and that they were left out of the major decisions for the show when for the fans, they really were the heart of it. All to say, I'm truly glad they shared and explained what happened. It seemed like it was satisfying for them too!

Book 113 of 350 ~ 2025

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This and Queer as Folk were such eye openers. How these two actresses write is how I expected them to be irl if it makes sense?

Finding out how they first met, found each other, and more importantly, what this pair of pants go through... they generously let us into their world.

I read the ebook, and then after I got their voices in my head after the first two chapters, I synced my reading with the audiobook.

It fits like a glove.

Will make you laugh, will make you sigh, on a whole will make you feel.

Love this.

I received a complimentary copy of this ebook and audiobook. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

#book113of350 #amreading #netgalley #tbrpile #instareads #readstagram #reading #bookreview #bookreviewer #booklover #booksAreLife #booksForTheWin #thisbookfairyisreading #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookstagramfeature #bookshelf #booksofinstagram #bookish #bookworm #goodreads #booklovers #theSGbookfairyReads #theSGtrekkiereads #bookaholic #bookaddict #bookchallenge2025 #reviews #lovebooks #booknerds

This is just such a fun, nostalgic read. I enjoyed having the dual perspective, made it more broad coverage of the show and what the group was like.

I watched the original series but not the reboot or Kate & Leisha’s podcast. That said, I loved this joint memoir. Thank you both for sharing your stories! It makes me want to watch The L Word again.

So Gay For You follows Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey as they look back on the early days of The L Word—a show they thought would be a small, unknown project that ended up becoming a groundbreaking piece of queer TV history. From their first meeting at auditions to becoming real-life best friends, the book dives into their journey through fame, identity, and chosen family, all while highlighting just how much the show meant to the LGBTQ+ community. It’s full of behind-the-scenes stories, laughs, and heartfelt moments that show just how deep their bond runs. As a huge fan of The L Word, I knew I had to read this, and it did not disappoint! It’s funny, emotional, and full of love—you can really feel their friendship. I loved reminiscing with them and soaking in all the nostalgia!

Thank you to Netgalley, St. Martin's Press and the authors for a gifted copy of the book, an ARC and ALC!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC! As a big fan of The L Word and of Leisha and Kate, this memoir was everything I could’ve hoped for. It’s equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, and nostalgic. The chemistry that made their on-screen friendship iconic absolutely shines through on the page, raw, witty, and deeply personal. I loved getting a deeper look into their lives, before, during, and after the show, and appreciated how honest and funny they were about their journeys as queer women in Hollywood. More than just a memoir, So Gay for You is a love letter to queer friendship and chosen family. If you loved The L Word, or just love them, So Gay for You is a must-read.

This was a nice read that I liked a lot. I never watched the show but was a fan of Kate from another show. This book made me curious about the show and all the hype that surrounded it. Also nice to see things from their perspectives and how it changed their trajectory. It was fun and a nice look at their friendship.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for providing me with a digital ARC of this book!

I had fun watching The L Word for the first time several years ago, right around when Generation Q was announced. I never got around to watching the reboot, but I did listen to Kate and Leisha's podcast for a few months (before eventually falling behind and forgetting to pick up with it again). So, I wouldn't say I'm the most devoted fan of the show, but I liked it enough that I was intrigued when I saw this memoir was coming out about Kate and Leisha's lives before, during, and after The L Word. It's exactly what I expected it to be when I initially requested it on NetGalley - it reads in a similar tone to what I remember their podcast sounding like. So Gay for You is a comedic, heartwarming book about friendship, found family, and the authors' experiences as queer actresses in the 2000s and 2010s.

This book deals with a few heavy topics, but it is largely lighthearted and entertaining. It's full of anecdotes about the TV show, so I definitely recommend it to fans of The L Word. If you're simply looking to read a funny memoir about LGBTQ+ actors and haven't watched the show, I'm sure you would still find it to be interesting, but you probably wouldn't get as much out of the middle third, which is basically all about The L Word's production and the cast's relationships. I learned so many interesting little tidbits that provide fascinating context to the show. It also felt like both authors were being genuinely open throughout the book, and I appreciated reading their thoughts about how groundbreaking the show was, while also acknowledging some of its issues.

The book is written chronologically through back-and-forth narration by both authors. I wasn't sure how much I would like this format in a nonfiction book, but I actually found it to work surprisingly well. Both Kate and Leisha had pretty different upbringings, so it was interesting to read about how they ended up together on the same show (and initially both read for the character of Shane!). The transitions felt smooth, especially because both authors kept a quick pace. They used different enough writing tones that I didn't have too much difficulty telling their sections apart, but I imagine listening to the audiobook would be an even better reading experience, since both authors narrate it.

I only have a couple of small critiques. First, I sometimes had trouble keeping the timelines of everything straight in my head. This may be fixed in the final version, but at least in the advanced edition, the editing could have been a bit tighter to make the timeline easier to follow. Additionally, I would have liked the book to go a little deeper in some chapters. The fast pacing made it easy to read, but it felt like the authors covered so much ground without stopping to explore some moments that might have been more impactful if given more page time. I was fully drawn into these women's lives while reading, but I frequently found myself surprised when the perspective would shift and a specific story would end without much of a conclusion.

Critiques aside, this book is so bright, nostalgic, and fun! I've been having trouble getting through books this year, but I really looked forward to picking this up every night. I even limited myself to a couple of chapters per day, in order to make the reading experience last longer, since it was such a warm and comforting read. If you're a fan of The L Word or Kate and Leisha's Pants podcast, you'll almost certainly enjoy this. If you haven't checked out either of those, then I would probably recommend watching at least a few episodes of the show or listening to their podcast before picking this up. Now I'm fully considering doing a rewatch of The L Word!

3.75 stars, rounded up to 4 stars.

I've never watched The L Word. I know, I know, it's like a lesbian right of passage, but it was before my time. I honestly didn't know who Leisha or Kate was when I was gifted this book, and I did procrastinate it a bit knowing I didn't know anything about the show. But I ended up really enjoying hearing about how their roles came to be and how the years following progressed. I think I will definitely be watching now.

I have to admit that when I first started watching The L Word I never thought about anyone’s ages. I just thought, “How come my queer crowd looks NOTHING like that?!”😆 I was usually the only AFAB among a wide range of gay men. We danced and hung out at my place (I was the oldest). There was drama, but of course nothing like the tv show. (Thank goodness.)

It wasn’t until I was reading So Gay for You that it occurred to me that Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey are my age. We have kind of the same memories growing up of being different and bullied. We have the same cultural references and crushes. I loved Helen Slater in The Legend of Billie Jean. I even took a copy of the song by Pat Benatar to boot camp with me.

There is nothing in this book that really jumps out and “shocks” you. There are easter egg name drops of other famous people throughout the book, but basically it’s about growing up adrift and then finding community and family because of a tv show.

I love the friendship between Kate and Leisha. The book reads like you are having a conversation with them and they are taking turns telling their story (though my brain automatically puts in Leisha’s laugh (she has the greatest laugh)).

I admit to being a bit prejudiced in this review because I was a HUGE fan of The L Word (2004-2009). Funnily enough Bette and Tina weren’t my favorite characters on the show. Dana and Alice come in second. Shane and Carmen were my first. I never got over their breakup. They were so hot on screen. I have followed Leisha and Kate as well as Sarah Shahi ever since.

So Gay for You is about friendship. Finding a place where you are safe to be who you are without any pressure from anyone - just love and support from like minded people. It will make you yearn if you don’t have it and hope that maybe one day you might have it too.

I hadn’t watched The L Word since it was airing and I was in college, but when I saw these two had a book coming out, I HAD to read it. Navigating coming out while living in a sorority house surrounded by frat boys and judgy midwesterners, watching this show with the queer community I found in my college town was a ray of sunshine every week (well except the Dana plot line… seriously still devastated).
It was interesting to hear Kate & Leisha’s “coming out” stories and about their bringing long before the show. Dang, Alice may have already been my favorite character but Leisha is a super badass lady and while I was listening I realized I have a Lilith Fair poster with her OG band Murmurs on it! Really everything about their time before/during/and after the show was interesting to visit. I basically find any like story interesting and when it’s someone I’m a fan of, that’s an added treat.
It was reassuring to hear some of their takes on The L Word decisions and nice to get some behind the scenes moments from a group I haven’t revisited in ages.
This memoir is quick and easy. I alternated between the audio, narrated by the authors, and the kindle and enjoyed both- though hearing their voices is obviously a step above.
Five stars! Would recommend to any fan!

I don’t read many memoirs, it’s not my typical genre™️ But sometimes I can be convinced when I’m interested enough. Enter, So Gay For You, written by Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig. This was such a refreshing book to me. As someone who watched The L Word several years after it finished airing, I had qualms. I still have qualms.

But… the cast does too. Even the discussion about Generation Q didn’t lack a critique of what they wish was done better. This book captured so much of the joy of the show and the friendships behind the scenes that kept me watching even when storylines got especially rough or particularly ridiculous. Even shows that may not be the finest caliber still manage to have such good chemistry and be so wholly unique that the experience of watching them can’t be replaced. That is The L Word for me— it’s so deeply uncomfortable a lot of the time, but it’s also a little magic. So the experience of getting to read this definitely brought that feeling of magic back.

Thank you so much to @stmartinspress and @netgalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review. So Gay For You is out June 3rd!

I loved watching The L Word and absolutely absorbed every episode so I was very happy to read this and see where it began and the life's of Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey.

As a massive L Word fangirl, I knew I had to pick this up... and boy was I not disappointed! I love these two and their dynamic so much.

So Gay for You is a candid, captivating, and often hilarious exploration of friendship, fame, and the serendipity of life-changing roles. Authored—and narrated in the audiobook version—by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, the memoir will be a must-read for fans of The L Word and devoted listeners of the PANTS podcast, but its appeal reaches well beyond its built-in audience.

Told in a warm and engaging tone, the book traces the personal and professional journeys of both Moennig and Hailey, from their early lives through their iconic roles on The L Word, and into the present day. Along the way, readers are treated to behind-the-scenes anecdotes and insights that deepen the appreciation for their chemistry on-screen and off. These revelations are less about scandal and more about connection—authentic moments that reveal the people behind the personas.

What stands out most is the genuine affection and playful banter between the two co-authors. Their dynamic is infectious: witty, unfiltered, and deeply rooted in mutual respect. The memoir doesn’t just chart the trajectory of their careers—it offers a portrait of a rare and enduring friendship, one that might never have existed had they not each said yes to the roles that brought them together.

Whether you’re revisiting the nostalgia of The L Word or discovering the authors anew, So Gay for You is an entertaining, heartfelt celebration of identity, collaboration, and chosen family. The audiobook, enriched by Kate and Leisha’s own voices, adds an extra layer of intimacy and humor, making it a highly recommended format for experiencing this vibrant memoir.