Sarah Hartshorne is a writer, comedian, and former model who was the 'plus-size' contestant on Cycle 9 of 'America's Next Top Model'(ANTM), which aired in 2007. ANTM is described as "an American reality television series and interactive competition in which a number of aspiring models compete for the title of 'America's Next Top Model' and a chance to begin their career in the modeling industry."

I've watched an array of reality contests, either entire seasons or a few episodes. Some competitions are low stakes, like 'The Great British Baking Show' - where the prize is a glass cake plate with the show's logo; some competitions are medium stakes, like 'Forged In Fire' - where the prize is $10,000; and some competitions are high stakes, like 'America's Next Top Model' - where the prize is a modeling contract, a cover and spread in 'Seventeen' magazine, and a $100,000 contract with Cover Girl.

I always suspected that the bigger the prize, the more scripted the show, but I never pictured the level of control exerted by the producers of ANTM. In this behind the scenes exposé, Sarah describes her experience on the program, which was exhilarating, exciting, humiliating, dispiriting, difficult, and exhausting (among other things).

*****

Sarah, who grew up in 'Middle-of-Nowhere, Massachusetts' was a student at Boston University when she tried out for ANTM. The audition process was grueling, with many thousands of hopefuls and a long intrusive questionnaire to fill out. The survey gave Tyra Banks (the host) things to talk about on-air. For example: "You have Asperger's syndrome. Can you tell us about that?"; "You lived in a a pop-up trailer without a bathroom. How was that?" You're a student at Yale. What's your major?"

It seems a good story could help you get on the show!

After a long torturous audition process, Sarah became one of the initial batch of contestants for Cycle 9 of ANTM. The girls had to sign a lengthy contract and NDA, and were REPEATEDLY warned that not cooperating, or speaking out of turn would result in garnishment of their earnings, their children's earnings, their grandchildren's earnings, etc.....until the millions of dollars owed was paid up.

Cycle 9 began in Puerto Rico, and Sarah recalls, "It all started when we, a group of about fifty overexcited women, landed in San Juan...I'd been clocking the differences between the other girls and myself, and I felt like a whale, thirty to fifty pound heavier than everyone....And now, as I looked around at all these achingly thin girls, it was starting to hit me that every challenge, every panel, every conversation going forward, was going to be about my weight."

The group was soon whittled down to 33 girls who would make it on to camera for the first episode. The 33 contestants got a tour of San Juan, after which they were blindfolded as they walked from their tour bus to - "SURPRISE" - a cruise ship, where the initial episode would be filmed over the next five days. On the vessel, which contained vacationing passengers, the girls were herded from one place to another for hair, make-up, and photo shoots, which were organized by Mr. Jay (Jay Manuel, the creative director), and Miss J (J. Alexander, the runway coach). The girls had no opportunity to enjoy the ship's amenities.

There were also interviews with Tyra Banks, Mr. Jay, and Miss J, who assessed the girls' photos, presence, modelness, and personalities. Sarah describes all this in detail, including the long hours of sitting around and waiting; the seasickness; the hostility of the paid passengers; and the frequent warnings from the crew about following the rules. Sarah recalls she felt like she was being suckered into a cult.

By the end of the cruise, the contestant pool had been whittled from 33 to 13, and the girls had a two-week-break before production continued in Los Angeles. There the girls resided in 'the ANTM house', which had a kitchen, pool, hot tub, beds, and almost no privacy. Long days of filming followed, with challenges, photo shoots, makeovers, judging, and elimination - and one girl was sent home every episode. Friendships blossomed among the girls, but there was also hostility and back-biting, because everyone wanted to win.

The contestants' makeovers, which usually resulted in a change of hairstyle/hair color for each girl, traumatized some contestants - especially when long hair was cropped to a pixie style. In Sarah's case, she loved the makeover, and writes, "I saw my hair get blonder and shorter until it was almost a pixie cut...It looked punk...I couldn't wait to become whoever THAT person was."

Every episode of the show featured a challenge (e.g. demonstrate the effects of smoking) and a photo shoot (e.g. high fashion on a climbing wall), followed by judging and elimination. The judges during Cycle 9 were Tyra Banks, photographer Nigel Barker, Miss J, and former supermodel Twiggy. The contestants were called up one at a time, and the judges evaluated their performance in the challenge and the best picture from their photo shoot. The judges also provided suggestions and advice for improvement. The comments were sometimes harsh, and Sarah recalls Twiggy telling her, "When you stand in front of me, you don't look particularly high fashion, you look quite plain.....but that looks like quite a good fashion photograph." After the assessments, the judges deliberated, and one girl was sent home. During Cycle 9, it was all too much for one contestant, and she sent herself home.

The ANTM competition was challenging. The girls had to be mic'd from the moment they woke up, and weren't allowed to talk to each unless cameras were present. Handlers (aka 'cast wranglers) showed up early every morning to cart the girls around and make sure they followed the rules. Sarah writes, "The producers were trying to make good television. At any cost....They took our phones and watches, and they prohibited newspapers, televisions, clocks...They kept us on edge by withholding food, sleep, and access to bathrooms." All this was to insure the cameras caught EVERY word and action, to be edited for television.

Sequences that lasted 10 minutes on television, like judging and elimination, took almost an entire day to film, and the girls had to stand up the entire time. This sometimes resulted in fainting, though the girls were advised "Do not lock your knees. You're going to be standing for a long time, and it cuts off the blood flow. And be sure to eat when we break for lunch and drink plenty of water. If you feel faint, raise your hand and someone will come help you." Nevertheless, a girl collapsed almost every week.

The contestants were also interviewed by producers every day, and asked provocative questions to entertain television viewers. Sarah, who kept a journal of the experience, recalls one of her interviews:

Producer: Can you describe your outfit for us?
Sarah: It's a mesh dress over lingerie.
Producer: Are you uncomfortable wearing so little?
Sarah: I mean, I am wearing very little, but I feel okay.
Producer: Is it hard being the only plus-size girl at this shoot with so many other real models?

Sarah notes, "They kept pressuring me to say that I hated my outfit, that I hated my body, that I was uncomfortable. And I just wouldn't." However, when the episode aired, the program showed Sarah saying things taken completely out of context - "That makes me super uncomfortable and I don't like it" - and made it seem like she was talking about her outfit.

The judges would also speak to Sarah about her weight, suggesting she was dieting and getting thinner as filming progressed. Sarah, who weighed herself every morning, denied she was losing weight, but the producers and judges remained skeptical. This was an issue because Sarah was Cycle 9's 'plus-size' contestant.

Sarah lasted until episode eight, when she was eliminated, in part because the judges said she'd lost weight and was no longer 'plus-size.' Sarah cried uncontrollably when she was told to "pack her bag and go home", but in reality things didn't happen like that. Sarah and other eliminated contestants were sequestered in a hotel until the time was right for them to leave.

Sarah was broke after ANTM, because the girls weren't paid and received only $37 per day for food. Sarah also needed therapy to recover from the ordeal, but she doesn't regret the experience. During filming, Sarah made friends, learned a lot about herself, and subsequently pursued a modeling career. Afterwards, Sarah took jobs writing, producing videos, and doing stand-up comedy. Sarah is now married, has a daughter, and is content with her life.

The book is an eye-opening behind-the-scenes look at America's Next Top Model, and a fascinating story. Highly recommended, especially to fans of the show. (I wish other reality competition contestants would write books. 😊)

Thanks to Netgalley, Sarah Hartshorne, and Crown Publishing for a copy of the book.

As many young people did in the early 2000s, I was obsessed with America's Next Top Model (ANTM). I so desperately wanted "to be on top." And after reading Sarah Hartshorne's memoir, I thank God I was too young to even audition.

"You Wanna Be on Top?" explores Sarah Hartshorne's time on the show during Cycle 9, and unsurprisingly to anyone, it was simply awful. No wages, no sleep, hardly any food, obscenely long hours standing and waiting, it is not surprising many of the contestants would faint while on the show. Producers also cut contestants off from the outside world - limited time on the phone with approved family/friends, no phones, no TV (except the one in the bathroom ;)) and not even being allowed to freely speak to others on the show.

Sarah recounts her time on ANTM with a bold and raw honesty that can sometimes make you feel uncomfortable. As someone that was a massive fan of the show, it made me contemplate just how much I let the standards presented on the show affect my perception of others and self (I was convinced I needed a breast augmentation and nose job when I was 10 - yikes!). Sarah explores her feelings of guilt, doubt, and loneliness, while attempting to win a competition that was actively working against her.

Most of the memoir centers around Sarah's time on the show, while her time after, up until now, is summarized. I wish more time had been dedicated to exploring how Sarah dealt with the emotional turmoil and fallout from being on ANTM. We instead read about how she struggled to continue modeling and having to hide from everyone just how awful her time on the show was.

This book isn't a shuttering expose on the secrets of the show. It simply tells the story of a young women that experience being on the show and how that decision affected the rest of her life. I do believe even non-fans of the show would enjoy reading about what really happens behind the scenes of popular reality TV shows and how it psychologically affects the contestants.

Much gratitude towards the author/publisher/NetGalley for the complimentary copy. All opinions expressed are my own.

Incredibly funny but also so well written. This book is more than just an expose. However it does a great job of highlighting a show that I once loved as a youth and showcasing exactly how weird and problematic it was.

I am a sucker for reality tv and any behind the scenes info I can get. Sarah’s memoir took me right back to the moments of watching America’s Next Top Model and made me wish that I could watch it all again for the first time.

If you like reality tv, especially ANTM, I highly recommend that you read this book.

Stars: 5.0

Really interesting to hear what happens behind the scenes of America's Next Top Model but it was a struggle to keep going because it felt like a similar thing over again in different ways.

I'm glad to see there was actual camaraderie, that she realized there was more to the faces than what our assumptions are of people upon meeting them, that the network really really really means business on confidentiality.

Overall, wasn't my favorite but still an interesting look into what happens at reality shows (or at least this one)!

Cycle 9 of ANTM is a season I'm sure I saw growing up but did not get around to rewatching in the last 10 years, so I don't have a good memory of it, which I wish I had a bit going into this, as I think I would've gotten a bit more out of it knowing the girls a bit better. Regardless, this is a juicy look behind the scenes of the ANTM dynasty, exposing the grueling conditions, manipulation, and excessive-tear downs/body-shaming from the judges and crew. I love the picture this painted of the contestants all in this difficult journey together, and I think this is a great read for anyone who watched ANTM growing up.

Horridly Dull Non-Answering Account of Competing in “Reality” TV
Sarah Hartshorne, You Wanna Be on Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America’s Next Top Model (New York: Crown, July 8, 2025). Hardcover: $30: 272pp. ISBN: 978-0-593-73524-4.
**
“America’s Next Top Model contestant pulls back the curtain on the iconic but deeply flawed reality competition show, exposing the manipulation and chaos behind the scenes… Over its fifteen-year run, the show captured the glitz of the early aughts as well as its most toxic attitudes—from the glamorous but often questionable photo shoots to the cutting feedback from its highly respected if out-of-touch judges… Sarah Hartshorne would have never guessed that her first foray into modeling would start with being blindfolded alongside three dozen other girls on a charter bus winding through Puerto Rico. In You Wanna Be On Top?, Cycle 9’s only plus-size contestant takes us into the heart of the unforgiving auditions; the labyrinthian cruise ship the girls weren’t allowed to enjoy…” Not being “allowed” to do stuff is mentioned a few times in this narrative. Chapter “3: Shipping In” states they “weren’t ever allowed to speak to one another” while they were being flown into Puerto Rico. During breakfast there, they are still not allowed to talk with fellow girls. Then, she has trouble finding her bed, and is afraid to ask because she thinks she might not be allowed. After they spotted cameras, they were finally allowed to start talking. Apparently then they were only allowed to talk during means, and also to “look out the windows.” When they were allowed to talk, they were “contractually obligated to look like we were having the time of our lives.” But this same note that they were not allowed to talk echoes throughout amidst extensive dialogue when the girls keep talking, and talking, but mostly empty phrases. A ghostwriter might have said as much without knowing what was said, or even if these girls and those filming them really said absolutely nothing off-camera. “…And, of course, the L.A. ‘model house’ teeming with hidden cameras and elaborately constructed tensions. As the season unfolds and the producers’ interview questions about her weight and her opinions of the other girls become increasingly pointed, Hartshorne uncovers the destabilizing methods employed to film ‘reality.’ Drawing on her experience as well as interviews with other contestants and production crew, Hartshorne answers the questions you always wanted to ask: Why didn’t the house have a microwave or a dishwasher?” I searched through every mention about the lack of microwaves, and there is absolutely no explanation offered about why microwaves were taken out of this mansion: this is a failure to deliver on a promise in this blurb. “Why did girls regularly faint during eliminations? Which judge was the meanest off camera? Why is it that the girls had their most meaningful conversations in closets? (Answer: It was the one place camera crews couldn’t fit.)”
It is important for people to document the “reality” of such shows, but this is a horridly written book that cannot be practically useful, or readable for most. Some who are interested in being on a reality-show might find the energy to read this book cover-to-cover to figure out the science of how these shows work. But otherwise, it’s just a horrid piece of writing.
--Pennsylvania Literary Journal: https://anaphoraliterary.com/journals/plj/plj-excerpts/book-reviews-summer-2025/

Thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for the Arc in exchange of an honest review.

I was a huge pop culture and reality show junkie growing up and I always watched ANTM. I remember specifically Sarah's season because they claimed here as plus size and to me I remember even in Highschool the way the treated her was very impressionable and made me sad for her. Now getting to read Sarahs story and hearing retellings of her, I found it very empowering and fascinating to hear what all we did not see. There is a lot of content in this that might be triggering: Body shaming, eating disorder, fatphobia, sa, and abuse (check reviews for trigger warnings before reading)

I loved You Wanna Be on Top? I read it along with the audio and highly recommend the audio. I loved Sarah's insight and behind the scenes, raw look at ANTM. It was funny and shocking. well done

Thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for the digital copy of this book; I am leaving this review voluntarily. Content Warnings from Storygraph Users: Graphic: Body shaming, Eating disorder, Fatphobia Moderate: Sexual assault, Confinement, Emotional abuse, child abuse Minor: Vomit, Sexual harassment

I’m not a big fan of reality TV. There have been a few shows that I watched, like the first season of Survivor, simply because I worked at a CBS-owned TV station at the time. But I did keep my ear to the ground by watching Entertainment Tonight or reading People or US Weekly. America’s Next Top Model was on my radar because I knew Tyra Banks, but I’ve never seen the show.

You Wanna Be on Top is a memoir of a plus-sized model who competed on the show during Cycle 9. Sarah Hartshorne had to deal with all those content warnings mentioned: fatphobia, body shaming, and dealing with other models with eating disorders. Reality-TV fashion is brutal with lots of manufactured drama. We’re talking Tudor court intrigue!

Hartshorne gives a candid and often funny recounting her time on the reality show. She does a great job of interrogating culture while also keeping her memoir reflective. She unpacks body politics and media manipulation that speaks volumes.

This humorous expose of beauty-industry power structures is enlightening, but as mentioned above, has some pretty serious content warnings, so it might not be right for everyone.

4 stars. Who wasn't obsessed with ANTM growing up? I absolutely loved the peak behind the curtain here. thanks netgalley & the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This was fun. I didn't watch season 9 of ANTM, so I was not aware of the contestants on this show, I just wanted to read a memoir by a contestant. This is mostly a play-by-play of season 9 from the perspective of one contestant, and it honestly doesn't go too deep into it. There's a few behind the scenes things, but not too much. An entertaining read, but not anything ground breaking.

Thank you to Crown Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Sarah Hartstone was a contestant on Americas Next Top Model who fell between a standard model and plus size. In her book she discusses how she ended up on the show and her experience on the show and the aftermath. It was interesting to get a peak into the behind the scenes of reality tv. Sarah is a fantastic writer who tells her story in an engaging and honest way and still manages to display the humor and absurdity of the situations she finds herself in.

I used to love America’s Next Top Model when I was in my early twenties. It is truly bizarre how it didn’t even faze me the way the production and the judges treated the young contestants. The poor ladies were exposed to so much ugliness and emotional abuse during the entire run of the show. Sarah Hartshorne appeared on Cycle 9 of the hit show. She was the “plus-size model” who was eliminated in the middle of the season. Even though I liked the author’s candid commentary on the traumas and tribulations she endured during her time in the house/competition, I can’t really say I liked this book as a whole. The writing style was not very good, I know the author is not a professional writer, but I just didn’t think her thought process flowed well. I just couldn’t dive fully into her background with the controversial show. It’s a fun book but not very memorable.

Sarah Hartshorne’s memoir is a poignant blend of nostalgia and heartbreak, shedding light on the uncomfortable truths behind a show many of us grew up watching. Revisiting America’s Next Top Model Cycle 9 while reading her account was a jarring experience—I found myself so outraged by her treatment that I couldn’t bring myself to watch beyond her elimination.

Hartshorne holds back zero punches in exposing the deep-seated misogyny and fatphobia within both the modeling industry and the show itself, despite Tyra Banks and her team’s public image as advocates for diversity. Her sharp wit and engaging narrative style bring levity to otherwise unsettling material, making the memoir both thought-provoking and unexpectedly humorous.

For those familiar with the show, I highly recommend re-watching Cycle 9 alongside the book. Many chapters align closely with specific episodes, adding depth and context to what unfolds on screen.

I was an avid ANTM watcher during my post-secondary years - I’m not surprised by basically any of the backstory here! Still this is a well written dive into a cultural phenomenon, as well as into reality TV and its impact in general, and how popular culture shapes beauty standards. If you aren’t an ANTM model fan it might not be your forte but I enjoyed it.

“Thank you, Pay me.”
I used to devour trash tv and reality tv like was job. I was obsessed with ANTM. I watched every cycle so when I saw this book, I immediately had to jump on it and check it out.

When watching the show, I was so naive to everything. I couldn’t even fathom how terrible of an environment it was there. But as I got older and more news came out it wasn’t shocking how these women were treated.

It also still blows my mind that Sarah was considered a plus size model back then. This of course is why women have body issues.

I enjoyed this book and a peek into Sarah’s life on the show. I can’t imagine what these girls went through and how they were treated. It certainly was as life changing and I’m sure for most not for the best. While some good has come to contestants on the show, it was such a toxic environment. I’m sure Tyra’s intention was not to be all bad at first, but shame on her for putting these girls through what they did, not compensating them, and for some much other controversy.

If you were a fan of the show this a must read. Now I can’t get theme song out of my head.

As a fan of the show when I was younger, this was a fun read. The writing was not my favorite but definitely had some insightful moments.

Thank you to Crown Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC of this book.

This book honestly had me screaming pretty much the whole way through it. And that’s not because it was a bad book. It’s because the way these people were treated just makes me lose it.

I remember watching the first cycle of America’s next top model live when I was in college. From there, I watched them all. Then, a couple years back, I did a full rewatch of every single cycle. I’m not naive to the falsities of reality television, but good God.

This is certainly a must read for anyone who watched the show. The only reason I gave it a four out of five was because things tended to get repetitive. But the cool thing about reading this after watching the show is you can picture everything. The house, the photo shoots, everything. I loved that.

But again, the way the girls were treated really pissed me off. Our author is plus sized, so the producers were CONSTANTLY egging here on in interviews to make her feel bad about it. Anyone who has watched the show knows they do this to everyone. Totally playing on insecurities. It’s like if anyone has a bad work environment. You know the feeling.

I grew up watching full cycles of ANTM reruns in one sitting and had no idea how badly I needed a this book until I stumbled upon it. The behind-the-scenes details of the show would be interesting enough for anyone who enjoyed ANTM or reality TV in general, but it's even more compelling, and usually horrifying, to hear about the experiences of a "plus-size" (and queer!) contestant.

This memoir wasn't life-changing but it was a fast read with an engaging voice and delivered exactly what I wanted based on the premise and description - so 4.5 stars rounded up.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!