Due to a NetGalley error wasn’t able to complete this book - a book was missing from my library I was approved for so tried to uninstall and reinstall the app to fix the issue, and then books that had technically archived but I still had a few days to read went missing from my NetGalley bookshelf as a result.

However what I did get a chance to read I enjoyed and am intrigued by the rest of the story. Will definitely do my best to pull out of the library so I can complete it and update the review.

It is hard to be queer in 2025, more so if you are trans. I'm cis, but I have many trans friends and acquaintances and am doing my best to assist where I can. Bigots are passing laws regarding hormone treatments, some that are lifesaving, and the transphobic citizens do not understand the harm they cause. They smile at you and say being trans is a "matter of opinion".  

 Reading memoirs related to the trans experience, as well as parenting trans kids, is one thing I can do. These recounted experiences can change minds and save lives. About Bliss seeks to do so, using a mother's memoir of their trans child wholly trusting in her during a coming out story and medical journey.  

  About Bliss by Cristina Olivetti   

 In About Bliss, a mother writes letters and essays to their trans child Jake, who came out a few years ago. Cristina Olivetti accepts Jake wholeheartedly, but even acceptance comes with its hiccups. Olivetti recounts a comment when a pretransitional Jake said he wanted a six-pack like a nearby jogger, and gave a lecture about eating disorders since achieving that body requires intense starvation and hydration rather than realizing it was a statement about wanting a different body.  

 We also have interviews with doctors, experts, activists and advocates in some chapters. They talk about their experiences ranging from ideal to disappointing. Not every queer person gets a happy ending after coming out, and for some the battle doesn't end in their lifetime. But you have to keep fighting, so that someone else can live happily with the progress that you brought forward.  

 There's still a lot of work to be done; you may accept your child, but the world may not. Olivetti makes no bare bones about how Trump administrations ruin thing for trans people, and so do people that refuse to care. And she's only writing about the first one!  

 For a long time, gender nonconformity was considered a mental illness and listed it in the DSM until more reasonable minds transformed into gender dysphoria, talking about the emotional distress and dissatisfaction of your body not being right. Though the definition has changed, people haven't. And some are cruel. There are stories about parents that ghosted Olivetti and her son, with a few feeling entitled to state their transphobia outright while others complained behind closed doors. To fight prejudice in growing kids, schools need to take a proactive approach. You can't just passively survive and hope for a social contract that protects you.  

 Each chapter ends with discussion questions. The questions invite parents to ponder incidents related to gender dysphoria, moments of "real joy", and finding happiness in this journey. What does it mean to advocate, and how do you fight for your child's rights? How do you process moments of casual cruelty? You can tell the author and publishers thought really hard about the positive impact they wanted to have in telling their tale.  

 Some of the anecdotes brought me to tears, how Olivetti accepts Jake and keeps doing her best as a parent. Parents as it is can fail to accept their cis children; having one validate and support a trans child shows what an ideal childhood should involve. When Jake is hesitant about wearing boys' sneakers, Olivetti says that "shoes are shoes". There's no judgment.  

 Other essays do show an awareness of blind spots. Olivetti talks about the joy of being pregnant and laments how Jake won't have that option while taking puberty blockers, not even being aware that not even cis women necessarily want to have children. (Vaginas can permanently tear after labor, y'all, and you will never be able to go to the bathroom or sit right ever again.) But she admits this blindspot and admires doctors that offer to provide options. And maybe in the future, that tradeoff won't happen, especially as Jake admits that he does want to have kids and his doctors work on advances in fertility options when medical treatments seemingly send patients down another path.  

 It's 2025, and it feels like we have regressed. Trump is president again, and Republicans are scapegoating trans people. I apologize to Jake, who ends the book with his words. Your mom's book will ideally change some minds and turn the tide again. We'll put bigots in their place and make safer schools for you and your friends that don't conform to a rigid binary.  

 The rest of you, read  About Bliss  . Especially read  About Bliss  if you need a resource for combatting transphobia on your kids' behalf. The transphobes? Close the door on your way out.  

 Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

It seems so devastatingly fitting that this book was released the day after the dangerously brutal Skrmetti decision, in which the U.S. Supreme Court decided that states can ban gender-affirming care for minors. The book focuses on Cristina’s son, Jake, his gender journey, her own struggles as a parent, and many of the major and minor decisions along the way. In particular, Jake must decide how or if he wants to undergo egg preservation for future fertility, and Cristina must grapple with her own thoughts on the matter. In addition to her beautiful prose and storyline as individual letters to Jake, the author includes several interviews with leading voices #TransRights. These experts include:

🩵 Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, developmental and clinical psychologist and author of several books on gender creative youth, who also wrote the foreword
🤍 Chase Strangio, co-director of the ACLU’s LGBT & HIV Project and lawyer in the Skrmetti case
🩷 Dr. Shawn Giammattei, clinical psychologist and founder of Quest Family Therapy
🤍 Alex DiFrancesco, author
🩵 Kelley Blair, licensed professional counselor and founder of Diversity Center OK
🤍 Shannon Minter, civil rights attorney and the legal director of National Center for LGBTQ Rights
🩷 Andrew Hedges, then a manager at the Women’s Research Center and LGBTQ+ Student Center at the University of Central Oklahoma and member of the Army National Guard who transitioned during the 45 administration
🤍 Dr. Nick Teich, founder of Harbor Camps, one of the first overnight camps in the U.S. to serve gender-diverse youth

I loved everything about this book. These letters are genuine: the author wrote them to her transmasc son to document the journey but also to document her own uncertainties, particularly around her son’s future fertility. With expert interviews mixed into the narrative essays, this book is an absolute must-read for all parents of trans kids and all clinicians that care for them.

🏳️‍⚧️Jake sums it best when he recommends people read it “because there are a lot of negative opinions out there. I want people to realize being trans is just people being true to themselves.”

🏳️‍⚧️A brief message of hope as the legal battles continue:
“And even as states try to restrict our access, the truth and momentum of our existence, and the continued experiencing and realizing of who we can be as individuals, is growing.” -Chase Strangio

Reviewed as part of #ARC, many thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and BookSparks for the opportunity to read and review.

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This review will be posted to Instagram @AutobiographiCole on 6/20/25.

CW: Transphobia, Fertility, Medical Procedures (Mild)

Olivetti’s book was a difficult read, made all the more painful by the fact that the transphobia and anti-trans rhetoric and attacks continue now more than ever. However, it is also an important book. It records not only her preserved memories as a mother and advocate for her son, but also the insight of appropriate, trans authorities – again, including her son. I will say that as a CIS, aro-ace with PCOS, the discussions of fertility and infertility were triggering for me – but I realized that it was because it was an inverse mirror of my own experiences. I have always wanted nothing more than to be sterilized and infertile, which was denied to me the same way preserving fertility can be, however unintentionally, be denied to trans or other non-binary people who seek the gender-affirming care they need. Reproductive rights should go both ways.

Give trans and gender-nonconforming youth and their families the support they need. This book is a welcome resource and the letter format provides an accessible and easy-to-read memoir that is vital, especially given today's political tensions. A brave book from a brave author, not to mention an incredibly brave child. Very grateful this is coming out this summer and HIGHLY recommend.

I was really disappointed in the writing style. It just dragged on and on and often, it felt as though the author went off on tangents that were not adding any details or quality to subject.