"This Is Me Trying" is a profound novel that delves into themes of self-discovery and mental health with raw honesty. The dual perspectives of Brooke and Matt provide a deep insight into their complex relationship, making it a captivating read. The book beautifully traces Brooke's journey from a naïve teenager to a self-aware adult, highlighting her growth and resilience. The narrative is intense and engaging, with a seamless writing style.

This was not for me. Let me preface that this is not a romance!! Throughout reading, I didn’t feel at all connected to either of the characters and struggled with the writing style. In saying that, I appreciated how this book spread awareness on some very important topics of conversation and themes while challenging the readers understanding of victimhood, agency, and consent.

This Is Me Trying is a deeply emotional coming-of-age YA novel that explores trauma, mental health, and healing with raw honesty. The story follows Brooke, whose relationship with an older boy, Matt, begins innocently but soon uncovers issues of consent, codependency, and the lasting impact of difficult choices. Told across several years, the book sensitively portrays Brooke’s struggle with anxiety, recovery, and self-acceptance, alongside Matt’s journey with guilt and redemption. Its realistic characters and poignant therapy scenes give the story a powerful emotional depth, though some readers may find parts intense or challenging. This novel stands out as a moving, important exploration of forgiveness and resilience for readers ready for a thoughtful, unfiltered narrative.

Thank you to NetGalley, Unbound | Neem Tree Press, and Jenna Adams for the arc copy of this book. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.

Heavy topics included: statutory rape, drug abuse, depression, suicide attempt, toxic relationships, toxic behaviors

Brooke and Matt meet when they are cast as love interests Romeo / Juliet in the play. After Matt turns 18 and Brooke is 14, they have a secret and very toxic relationship the summer before Matt leaves for university. After hooking up one night, the pair break up for good and Brooke's mental health spirals to the point she tries to commit suicide. Luckily, Matt finds her and calls her help, saving her life. They have no contact after this.

Years later when Brooke is a senior, Matt shows up at her prom and they ditch to go on a date. Unbeknownst to Matt, Brooke has a one way plane ticket out of the country the following day, something she does not tell him as they spend the night together. Matt wakes up alone, and spends the following years blaming himself for Brooke's disappearance and desperately trying to find her. Brooke spends those years being dependent on a handful of different men as she works and tries to heal from past trauma.

I'm going to be honest, I wanted to like this book but instead wanted to DNF it for at least 60% of it. I understand the characters are young when it starts and this is supposed to be "YA", but they are so immature and unlikable it was painful to read. Once they are both older, the book isn't as bad. Charlie and Marie are the best characters, and how Brooke leaves them in the end just pisses me off. Matt has no repercussions for the statutory rape, and even lies about it to multiple people throughout the book, including the cops. Matt has zero character growth and Brooke has a small amount in the end, I prefer to see much more from characters. Overall, how this book is written just isn't for me.

Also, the formatting of the arc itself was all over the place and not always easy to follow along, which I've seen is a common complaint in other reviews.

This Is Me Trying was raw, emotional, and beautifully vulnerable. 💔 Jenna Adams captures the messy, imperfect journey of healing and self-discovery in a way that feels deeply personal yet universally relatable. It’s one of those books that makes you pause, reflect, and feel understood. Honest, heartfelt, and quietly powerful.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this book and how to review it. Literature is supposed to be divisive, it's supposed to open lines of communication... but frankly, I hated it. I found every part of this a very uncomfortable, queasy, ick-filled roller coaster. While it is a fabulous example of how relationships during formative years can be damaging for years after. My biggest problem was that Matt knew it was wrong yet he never stopped until it was too late. The power dynamics of the relationship between Matt and Brooke were never going to be equal and it just felt gross.

Confronting the issues of mental health and suicide was unbearable. I had to put the book down because it was too much for me, even with the trigger warnings. Maybe it's just me, but I never had much sympathy for Matt, because he was always the adult in the situation. A three year age difference may not be much when they're 24 and 27, but 14... poor Brooke. She deserved so much better.

DNF

This book was simply not for me. It YA however it deals with quite heavy topics. Honestly this is not my favorite genre and I found it hard to get into. Not to mention that the writing seemed pretty repetitive and lackluster.

That being said I cannot fully review this book as I did not finish it. Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in return for an honest review.

this was a lot of emotion in one book. please do not read this if you are not in a good headspace because wow. it made me uncomfortable and feel a little bit of everything while reading, but has important messages throughout.

This was a solid 3 stars for me. This is VERY YA and deals with some heavy topics so be aware. Personally the writing style was not for me. There are not a lot of consequences to things that happen in this book so it fell flat for me. I think this may be meant for a different audience because I was not a huge fan but some people loved it!

Thank you to Unbound | Neem Tree Press, the author and NetGalley for providing a DRC in return for an honest review

This Is Not Trying Hard Enough: A Story That Romanticises Grooming Under the Guise of Emotional Depth

⚠ Spoilers and Trigger warnings ⚠

🚩#Consent #StatutoryRape #Grooming #Suicide #SelfHarm #Depression #SexualAbuse #SafeguardingIssues #Gaslighting #PsychologicalCoercion🚩

I have tried, but there is absolutely no way I can give an honest review of this book without discussing major plot points.

Well, this book has definitely proven divisive, with some readers praising its emotional depth and others condemning its ethical ambiguity. Personally, since I finished reading, 10 days ago, I have been struggling as to how I would approach this review. Before I start, I have to say that this book has had a great impact on me, but not in a positive way. I don't think I can stress just how much I vehemently dislike the storyline and character progression (Is there any?) in this book.

There are a couple of big problems to start with, on the marketing side. Both NetGalley and Goodreads have chosen to tag this book in the Romance category. I am absolutely gobsmacked by this, as I am by the opening line of the blurb:

'In this contemporary coming-of-age YA novel, a teenage girl navigates a romance with an older boy when they're cast as the leading roles in their drama group's production of Romeo and Juliet.'
This in no way, shape or form describes 'This is me trying'. Coming-of-age? Romance? Older boy? What on earth? This is a book about an adult man who commits statutory rape, not a romance with an older boy!

Also the formatting was very poor and resulted in every chapter starting with the first letter being removed and appearing randomly on a line all on its own, before the next line appears.

This Is Me Trying explores a complex and deeply uncomfortable relationship between Brooke, a 14-year-old girl and Matt, an 18-year-old young man she meets during a youth theatre production of Romeo and Juliet. While the book appears to attempt an exploration of identity, longing and the enduring emotional aftermath of early formative experiences, it ultimately fails to responsibly handle the gravity of its central subject matter.

The novel walks a perilous line by portraying Matt’s intense feelings for Brooke as 'love', despite the fact that their relationship (both legally and ethically) constitutes statutory rape. At the time of the sexual encounter, Brooke consents, but given she is 14, she is a child in the eyes of the law. The narrative allows Matt’s obsession to masquerade as devotion and what is, in reality, Grooming, is never explicitly acknowledged as such. This framing is not only misleading, it’s dangerous. There’s no real reckoning, no consequences for Matt, and no strong narrative condemnation of what took place.

Even more disturbing is the role of some of the adults. The Stagefright drama workshop, run by Meg and Stephen, casts a 14-year-old female and an 18-year-old male opposite one another as romantic leads in Romeo and Juliet. This should have raised many a red flag 🚩 well before the play got to the stage! Several parents express discomfort watching the pair kiss on stage and yet no one intervenes. Worse, when Meg later finds out about the illicit relationship, she doesn’t report it, choosing silence over safeguarding. Her inaction is deeply troubling and, in a real-world context, could have legal consequences. The book completely glosses over this.

A particularly frustrating aspect is Matt’s eventual career as a schoolteacher, a position of power and trust. This could have been a chance for a powerful moment of reflection or accountability and yet, unbelievably, it is never challenged. There is no fallout, no reckoning, no justice. The chance to responsibly explore long-term implications and societal failures is entirely wasted.

Because the novel uses dual perspectives, from both Brooke and Matt, it offers him emotional weight without moral interrogation. His desires are given narrative legitimacy, which makes it feel as though the story is romanticising a predatory dynamic. This is especially harmful given how impressionable some young readers can be. I have even read reviews recommending this book for school libraries — something that, in light of its handling of these themes, is genuinely concerning, speaking from the perspective of someone who worked/volunteered in schools for many years.

As someone who has seen the long-term impact of real-world grooming — through knowing survivors and having previously trusted teachers later convicted of abuse — reading this book was emotionally jarring. It brought back memories of betrayal and made me reflect on how easy it is to miss signs of grooming, especially when the perpetrator is charismatic or trusted. The book’s failure to depict the severity of what happened, or to offer justice to Brooke, feels like a slap in the face to real survivors of abuse.

While the book touches on some important emotional themes (confusion, trauma, shame) it ultimately fails to deliver them with the ethical clarity such subject matter demands. The result is a story that may intend to be nuanced, but ends up normalising and excusing abuse. Given the stakes, that failure is both artistic and moral.

I can't help but compare this book to Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita — another story of an adult’s obsession with a young girl. But there’s a crucial difference. In Lolita, the reader is meant to feel deeply uncomfortable. Nabokov uses Humbert’s poetic, manipulative narration to expose the horror of grooming and cultural complicity, never allowing his predatory behaviour to be mistaken for romance. This Is Me Trying, on the other hand, offers Matt’s point of view without critique. His actions are given emotional weight rather than moral consequence. The novel does not frame him as a predator, nor does it challenge the romantic lens through which the relationship is presented. This lack of narrative distance or interrogation makes it feel like the book is inadvertently glamourising abuse, rather than revealing its insidiousness — a crucial failure when dealing with such vulnerable subject matter.

Last but not least, I also find the title itself problematic. In 2020 Taylor Swift released a song called This is me trying. When Jenna Adams self-published book was first released in 2022 it was called 'Can I stray?'. Swift's song gained even more traction when she performed it during The Eras Tour which ended in December 2024 and we all know how successful that was! Then in July 2025 Jenna Adams' book was reissued as This is me trying. While both works claim to explore themes of emotional damage, regret and recovery, Taylor Swift’s song handles these themes with sensitivity, moral awareness, and emotional precision.

I am awarding ⭐ due to the inclusion of Discussion Questions and Support & Resources info included at the end of the book.

#ThisIsMeTrying #NetGalley

Trigger warnings for This is Me Trying include; toxic relationships, underage sex, statutory rape, self harm, suicide attempts, depression, anxiety and mental health.
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The first thing I want to note is that I think people really need to be aware of the triggers going into this book. It covers some pretty heavy topics, and I personally think people should go into it aware of that. Other people are entitled to their own opinions on the matter though.
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The whole premise of the book, for me, felt a bit icky to begin with. I know how Romeo and Juliet goes, and with there being a male and a female main character, I guessed to some degree where it was going to go as a result.
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As I mentioned, this book looks at some heavy topics like inappropriate relationships. In this case, the relationship was between a 14 year old and a 17 year old, who turns 18. A three year age difference isn't a big deal. But it is when it's between an adult and a minor, even if it doesn't start out that way. I think another point to be made here is that several adults either knew or suspected something was going on, and didn't step in, which also feels uncomfortable for me.
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I think the character progression was interesting. Brooke, did grow and adapt over time. By the end of the novel she still had a way to go, yes, but she did learn and grow from where she was at the beginning of the story. Matt however, really doesn't appear to have changed very much. He's still in the same town, moving between the same few places, never having seemed to move on from school and sixth form, despite having been to university.
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Thank you to NetGalley for sending me an ARC copy of this book.

I think this book handled the topics really well and conceded the subject of consent in a way that was powerful without being too much or over the top. It was interesting seeing Brooke's reaction in sex-ed class and her realisation around what had happened given the ages of the characters.

This is me trying ... to finish this book.

It took me longer to get through this book than normal. It has a few trigger warning themes - self harm, suicide attempt, mental health - and a lot about consent - or lack of when it comes to a 14 year old girl and an 18 year old guy.

I get the point, but I did not feel any emotion throughout this when I should have been crying bucketloads. Maybe the writing is trying to show the young girl's normal grrowth was stunted at the age of 14, but then the point of view from the guy doesnt show a lot of maturity either, IMO.

The pacing is very slow, which doesn't help.

Just not my jam.

Unfortunately, this one wasn’t for me. I found that I didn’t really care about the characters or the plot. It had some really good moments and then the pacing would change and it would completely snap me out of the story

This Is Me Trying is an emotional rollercoaster of a read charting the co dependency of Brooke and Matt, who meet in their teens at drama club. What starts as a friendship develops with the alarming gulf of their ages being the central focus - Brooke is 14 and Matt 17 when they first meet, but crucially, when their relationship moves on, he is 18 years old and she remains a child.. Eight years later, their actions from the past still affect the present and they must face each other and the facts once and for all. A gripping read with some difficult themes. Perfect for book group discussions and important topics ro discuss with teens. #thisismetrying #jennaadams #neemtreepress #TheWriteReads #netgalley

Unfortunately, I had some issues with this book. I thought the premise sounded like something I would love, but the writing wasn't as good as I was hoping. The ARC also had some formatting problems and typos, so I really struggled to get into the story or connect with the characters, which is such a shame!

One of my main concerns was the age gap and how young the characters were. The relationship felt really toxic, and ultimately I just wasn’t rooting for them to end up together. That said, the book handled heavy topics like depression and self-harm well. It wasn’t for me, but I can see it working for others.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Jenna Adams for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Thank youth NetGalley, Unbound Publishing and Jenna Adams for the ARC in exchange for for an honest review,

Unfortunately I could not carry on with this book and it was a DNF for me at 10%.

I had a few issues with this book first and foremost being the writing. I understand the book is written from a perspective of a 14 and 17 year old but the prose was basic and did not flow. Names of characters are just thrown in without introduction.

The second problem I had is that the arc copy was formatted poorly with every first letter of a chapter missing and jumped to the second line? I also spotted a few typos in the 10% I read of this.

I am sorry this didn't work out for me but others may enjoy the coming of age story that tackles some deep issues.

"Our early relationships can be really formative."

I have to admit, what initially caught my attention about this book was the title, This is Me Trying. It’s clearly a reference to one of my favorite songs by Taylor Swift. I honestly didn’t expect the lyrics to relate so closely to the story. I thought it would just be another example of the books being published lately that use something about Taylor to draw attention without any real importance. However, in this case, I think it fits perfectly with the characters' feelings. Even though there’s no mention of it in the book, it was a clever move to release a new edition with the updated title. The previous title, Can I Stray, which refers to Shakespeare, was also good and relevant to the story, but I believe Taylor's title will likely resonate with more readers, especially the younger audience who might need to get to know these characters.

This book explores key themes such as consent, taking responsibility for one's actions, the importance of communication, self-esteem, independence, mental health, and the dynamics of relationships. Additionally, it includes triggers related to statistical rape, suicide attempts, substance abuse, emotional mistreatment, and abandonment.

While the writing is clear and centers on teenage life, the situations they face are quite complicated. At first, the characters, who fall in love at ages 14 and 17, don't understand why a relationship between them could be seen as wrong. In terms of numbers, the age difference doesn't seem significant to them, and, as far as they know, they are acting entirely on their own volition. However, as their relationship deepens and time goes on, issues begin to surface. They notice things they had never seen before and wonder how they could have been so naive and irresponsible. Brooke, in particular, being younger, feels that Matt could have guided her better about the risks they were taking. He feels guilty, and he knows he shouldn't have fallen for her, but believes his intentions were good.

Because of their love for each other, they keep this secret for a long time, even in the face of adversity. With no one to confide in about their emotions, they become more entangled in negative situations, which worsens their mental health, leads to more mistakes, and leaves them feeling more alone and lost.

We follow their journey for several more years, until Brooke is 23 and Matt is 26.

I really enjoyed the read. It's a book that makes us reflect a lot on our teenage years, on the friends and crushes we had at 14, and how we thought we knew everything about life back then. When people say that first love lasts forever, that's why. It's because of the impressions it leaves on you about yourself. I recommend this book for teenagers, but also for older readers, as it's beneficial to think about your own experiences. Even if you haven't gone through anything similar to these characters, you've certainly had other experiences that shaped your personality, how you see yourself, and how you relate to others today, even if you don't realize it.

Thanks to Neem Tree Press for the DRC!

This Is Me Trying by Jenna Adams is like reading someone’s open journal—messy, vulnerable, and achingly human. Adams doesn’t hold back, and that’s what makes this book hit. It’s a brutally honest look at mental health, self-worth, and clawing your way through the chaos of identity and healing.

There’s a gritty beauty in the way she tells her story. It doesn’t feel polished—and that’s the point. You can tell it was written during the storm, not after the sun came out. That immediacy makes the emotion raw and sometimes even overwhelming. At its best, the book is a mirror for anyone who’s ever tried (and failed) to be okay, and then tried again anyway.

That said, the narrative could’ve used a little more structure. Some parts meander or feel repetitive, and it loses a bit of its impact in the middle. The emotional weight is powerful, but without firmer footing, it can feel like you’re wading through fog at times.

Still, Adams’ voice is strong, unfiltered, and needed. This isn’t a self-help book—it’s a survival story. And for that alone, it deserves attention. Not perfect, but perfectly honest. I give it a solid 3.5 Stars.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous about this book. This Is Me Trying explores sexual consent, mental health and the effects some relationships can have on us, long after they’re gone. With having both Brooke and Matt’s POVs, I was scared that the book was going to veer into the territory of romanticizing their relationship, but it never did that. The age and maturity difference, especially as teenagers, is written so clear that you feel that ick that you’re supposed to feel. I did very much appreciate the nuances of consent being talked about and I think that part could be a very good resource for teens. I also loved the look and mental health and therapy for Brooke although I think Matt could have certainly benefited from it too. I did think it was a smidge too long and unrealistic at time further into the story, but I still was very invested in the characters and their journeys. I LOVED the ending so much. It certainly deals with some very uncomfortable topics and while I thought they were done with care, definitely check the trigger warnings below. Overall, I’m happy I read it and I think we need more books that dive into the topic of consent like this one does.
CW: adult/minor relationship, self harm, suicidal thoughts, mental illness, drug use,

Thank you to Neem Tree Press for the digital reader’s copy!