This is a great follow-on book to [book:What My Mother and I Don't Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break the Silence|42201997]. Like any collection of essays, there's fantastic ones and some that are more ho-hum. But for me, these essays escalated in quality pretty steadily as the book went on, so the second half was just really strong.

The concept of both these books is to find really great writers and give them the freedom to express their feelings on their relationships with their parents. I think many people, especially children of divorce, will be able to relate to the complex emotions involved. I know I did.

Many of the essays focused on the yearning for fathers and how that desire often really goes unfulfilled, leaving a hole in both identity and the heart. I was moved for these now adults. The child within is never quite left behind.

Highly recommend both these books. I hope Filgate continues with the series by taking on the parent's perspective on their children.

The amazing follow-up to the ravishing essay collection, What My Mother and I Don’t Talk About. It’s THE book that we have all been waiting for. Of course by we, I mean me.

Contributions by Michele Filgate, Andrew Altschul, Alex Marzano-Lesnevich, Maurice Carlos Ruffin, Dylan Landis, Jaquira Díaz, Kelly McMasters, Isle McElroy, Susan Muaddi Darraj, Tomás Q. Morín, Robin Reif, Heather Sellers, Jiordan Castle, Nayomi Munaweera, Joanna Rakoff, and Julie Buntin.

Fathers are complicated beings, hard to pin down, and as I read through this collection, I found myself picking out moments from my past with my own father—a very stoic and strong-willed but silly, sarcastic man—that have shaped our relationship. You see, my father is a man who I never heard mumble the words “I love you” to me until I was out of the house but I never blamed him. He was a man who was never taught emotional expression and was likely shamed for any that he did show from his own father. But I have learned to recognize—and this book has taught me to appreciate—the ways in which my father chooses to express his love to me: his insistence on waiting for me to be home to build his garden this year, his text that included a picture of his visit to my favorite local cafe to buy my favorite kombucha, him pointing out a rosemary bush to me because I taught him how to recognize them, his willingness to try my fried tofu even though he is a meat and potatoes man through and through and adamantly resists trying anything new. As I read this book, I felt my heart growing ever-more tender towards the man that my father is and the path that made him, him.

Each essay cuts deep with fierce and brutal honesty, inviting readers in to a small piece of each authors family history with their father. So many of the essays within this collection felt achingly relatable, even if only for a sliver of time. What strikes me the most about this collection is its breadth, not only in the contributors themselves but the stories that they tell. Offering the good, the bad, and the ugly of fatherhood and being fathered, What My Father and I Don’t Talk About has the ability to be an intensely emotional and devastating read while also offering glimmers of joy and hope. Similar to the predecessor, I will be thinking about this book for a long time.

Thank you Simon & Schuster for the early copy in exchange for an honest review. Available May 6 2025

Perspective of Your Parent

These stories were a breath of fresh air. In this case surrounding the illusive father figure. It had me reflecting about how those in the position of being the child tend to place our fathers on a pedestal and become perplexed when the (sometimes hero) perception we create for them has been shattered by various adversities or introspective gained.

These stories are great examples to serve as reminders that our fathers are real, imperfect people with a journey that has shaped their own development and responses. I found it a really humbling reflective collection.

This would be a great book to pickup for yourself or someone else who is puzzled with the person their father is, behaviors or challenges to connect. The reflection and shift in perspective of the narrative of that individual father casts a whole new light on viewing him.

I received a copy of this book from Michele Filgate. I am voluntarily leaving a review. All opinions are my own.

Loved Michele Filgate's first anthology (What My Mother and I Don't Talk About) and this was a great companion to that book. Worth the wait for these fantastic essays by some incredible writers!!

Great variety of essays that speak to a wide range of experiences and personalities that make up fatherhood. The essay on undiagnosed ADHD struck a personal chord.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the ARC.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster and Net Galley for the Advanced Reader Copy of What My Father and I Don’t Talk About by Michele Filgate.

This was a good read, though, I don’t know that I was who this book was intended for. It was fascinating to read about the experiences different folks had in their relationship with their fathers. Some were good, some did their best, and some struggled. This was a raw look at the relationship between father and child.

While I couldn’t always relate with the different authors, I was able to take so much from their experiences to carry with me as I continue to learn how to be a father to my own children.

I enjoyed this book a lot, and had also enjoyed it's precursor, also edited by Filgate, about mothers. The essays are very poignant and also widely varied which I admired.

This was a great collection of stories from talented writers about their relationships with their fathers. Having just lost my dad, I was curious to see what the book would do to me. It made me think about all of the good and not-so-good memories that I remember. I also just liked getting a glimpse into the writers' lives with their own fathers to see what they have gone through. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.