This has one of the strongest starts for any nonfiction book I've read. I was hooked from the very first line. The author is amazing at narrating, she makes the story feel like talking with a friend. It was very easy to follow and feel like I was actually grasping the concepts.

I audibly said 'oh my god' multiple times while reading. This book is perfect for you if you have ever enjoyed gossiping with your friends, if you are morally against gossip, or even if you are simply interested in social analysis.

4.75/5

I was so excited when Kelsey McKinney announced she had wrote a book about gossip while hosting Normal Gossip, a podcast about gossip! If there was anyone I trusted to tell me more about gossip it was definitely Kelsey. This is not a book of gossip but a book *about* gossip, essays that kinda sound like a thesis (not in a bad way), clearly lovingly researched, with quotes from other authors sprinkled throughout. It's the science of gossip, why it's liked, how it's perceived, and how it factors into so many aspects of society, from religion, AI, and celebrity.

I was a little worried at first when I learned this would be a nonfiction essay kind of book. Sometimes those can be boring and hard to muddle through. But this wasn't boring at all! Even when things got more technical or deep, I could follow along and wanted to hear more. I listened to the audiobook, which is read by Kelsey, and I've already listened to her for many, many, MANY hours so maybe I was just used to hanging on her every word. But I also listened at work and it was still a very easy and entertaining listen. There are lots of quotes from other authors, which almost feels like a trick to validate gossip not being as bad as it's normally seen. But those same quotes mean that people have always talked about gossip and it is just a form of communication and storytelling so calm down and let us do it without judgement! Kelsey's background in journalism is on full display here and I can imagine this book being used for a few papers and maybe even a thesis or two. The writing flows very well from one part to the next. The only thing I would want more of is about gossiping in families, using it to connect through generations and cultures.

For those looking for some bits of gossip, there's some tiny morsels throughout and at the end. And at the very end, Kelsey explains how to make a gossip story better to tell, which was like a peak behind the curtain of the podcast.

Overall this was a very enjoyable book, educational, and made me want to do a little research and open up communication about why we gossip. I would recommend this to anyone who loves gossip and to anyone that hates it.

Having been accused of gossiping too much my whole life, I knew I needed to read this book.

Kelsey perfectly shares the shame associated with gossip and how it isn't always bad to gossip. She explains how gossip has always existed and will continue to exist. I love how she told stories about urban legends because trust the first dog licking peanut butter story has stayed with me. Also the poop in a ziploc bag story. =]

Kelsey narrates the book perfectly and it really does feel like talking to an old friend. I think fans of pop culture will enjoy this book because she discusses so many stories we've all heard. Ex. Princess Diana, Britney Spears, Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp

I definitely recommend checking out this book if you want a unique look on how gossip shapes our society. Thank you to NetGalley, Kelsey McKinney, and Hachette Audio | Grand Central Publishing for the opportunity to read it. I have written this review voluntarily and honestly!

3.5/5
You Didn’t Hear This From Me is a personal exploration into the American world of gossip—what it is, why we engage in it, and how it shapes culture. The book focuses on the ethical questions surrounding gossip, its social and psychological functions, and its evolution in the digital age. McKinney examines gossip’s role in personal relationships to celebrity culture, influencer communities, and fandoms. With a focus on how information spreads and the power dynamics behind it, the book unpacks the impact of gossip on public perception, reputation, and society at large. Overall, the book was thoughtfully written and enjoyable. The Audiobook feels like a long podcast and McKinney’s narration is engaging and easy to listen to.

I recommend this book for contemporary nonfiction readers that enjoy accessible audiobooks.

This book was very very repetitive! But I still did enjoy a lot about it.

I liked the narration and writing style combination. It felt very much like a podcast (which makes sense given it is based on the author's podcast) or like having a little yap session with a friend.

I liked that the examples were explained with personal anecdotes, so you got to see how the author experienced that same sort of thing and how she felt about it.

I just found this so repetitive, which can happen when you have such a specific niche. We know that gossip is only villainized when it's women doing the gossiping, we know that it was developed as a survive technique (sharing information), we know that religion plays a role in gossip being villainized in only women.

If you're looking for a fun and low stakes non-fiction book, I would still recommend this (especially the audiobook).

Thanks to NetGalley for the audiobook ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review! My Goodreads review is up and my TikTok (Zoe_Lipman) review will be up at the end of the month with my monthly reading wrap-up).

This book was not a good match for me and it is entirely my fault. I love the Normal Gossip podcast so when I saw the host had a book coming out with a gossipy title - I made up for myself that it would be like the podcast but in print. I got in bed with the book ready to read some great gossip stories and moments of “what would you do?” and laugh myself to sleep. However that’s not what the book is about and not what the book claims to be about - it is just what I made up. This book is a study of gossip and what purpose it serves and how it’s more nuanced than just fun or bad. Lots of interesting information there but a big disconnect from what I expected so it wasn’t working for me. Thank you to the publisher for the free ebook and audiobook to review.

I love Normal Gossip so I was so excited about getting this. I absolutely loved this book. All of the concepts were so on point and fascinating. I would highly recommend this (and the Normal Gossip podcast) if you like gossip, celebrity drama, and reality tv.

Kelsey McKinney’s You Didn’t Hear This From Me is a fascinating exploration of gossip, blending humor, research, and cultural analysis. As the host of the Normal Gossip podcast, McKinney brings her signature wit and storytelling flair to the page. The book is deeply researched, offering insightful takes on gossip’s role in society, from its evolutionary roots to its modern-day manifestations in pop culture and media. While some chapters feel overly academic or padded, McKinney’s final thoughts tie the narrative together beautifully. Fans of her podcast will appreciate the familiar tone, though the book occasionally lacks the playful, conversational energy that makes Normal Gossip so addictive. Overall, it’s a thought-provoking read that reframes gossip as more than just idle chatter.

I absolutely love listening to this! It's such a treat. In alot of ways I feel validated, informed and entertained. I love how Kelsey makes everything so digestable yet enganging. I couldn't recommend this enough!

This was honestly so good I listened to it in one day. I was hooked pretty early on when she started with an examination of how the moralization of gossip has been used by men in power to hide their bad actions, and I was continuously interested as she examined parasocial relationships, Mean Girls, and gossip as a form of women protecting each other. This book at first glance did not seem like it would be very deep, but she cited people like Foucault and Goffman. That being said, the theory she pulls from is written in a way that is very understandable and accessible. Highly recommend.

Thank you to Hachette Audio and NetGalley for an audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Gosh, this was so interesting. I am so thankful to Hachette Audio, Grand Central Publishing, Netgalley, and Kelsey McKinney for granting me advanced audio access to this piece before it hits shelves on February 11, 2025. I am a known gossiper, and so it was a marvel to hear about the psychological and sociological input from how we spread the flow of information in a hushed, scandalous manner. McKinney narrates the chronological happenstance of "gossiping" through various pop culture events, including celebrity scandals, reality television breakthroughs, and major political nightmares.

I could listen to Kelsey McKinney talk for hours, and I guess that just gives me an excuse to go listen to her podcast and further divulge myself into the world that contains secretive storytelling and other gossipy lingo.

As a long time Normal Gossip listener, I loved hearing Kelsey shift from her usual into information and more personal anecdotes. The audio format made for a smooth transition as a podcast listener. Really enjoyed the musings on gossip as a societal construct, and it gave me a lot to think about concerning how information is passed!

This book feels like a fun & satisfying extension of Normal Gossip. Kelsey McKinney expands on her thoughts around gossip alongside anecdotes from her life and media consumption. Nothing here feels like a revelation or pushing the envelope, the story careens between very interesting, insightful moments of memoir and research that feels...forced in to the degree that it falls flat. All said, would recommend this and definitely anticipate further writing by the author.

4.5 for now.
i had a blast reading this book. i think this is an early contender for a top ten reads this year for me, only because it's so entertaining and also super informative/well-researched. obviously, as a podcast host, the narration here is also excellent. no notes. i was sad that the book was over, which hasn't happened to me in a long time.

I was really curious about this one. I was not familiar with the author and hadn't heard her podcast before, but the idea of a historical and cultural look at gossip seemed intriguing. Unfortunately, this one did not work for me at all. I don't know if it's the age difference - I'm about 20 years older than she is - or what, but I found her style (both writing and narration) to not suit me. I expected a more engaging and, well, gossipy tone. Instead I found myself struggling to connect to a number of her examples and storylines. I was definitely not the right audience for this one - especially given the other reviews I've seen.

While there were some interesting tidbits, this one felt a little too much like homework to enjoy. It may just be my state of mind and the fact that I’m generally not a reader of collections of essays, but I felt this would be better done as a spin-off podcast of the writer’s current podcast.

Thanks to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the advanced audio book.

Kelsey McKinney's book about gossip got into the weeds at times, but overall is a great read for anyone who wants to better understand the role gossip plays in our lives. What was most interesting, and something I'll continue to ponder, was the question around what actually constitutes gossip: when is it information sharing? When is it positive gossip ? and When is it salacious or slander? Since the idea and practice of gossiping isn't going anywhere, these are good questions to be asking.

You Didn't Hear This From Me comes out February 11, 2025

What a delight. Or so I hear.

I've never thought of gossip as deeply as McKinney has. This is a wild and a peripatetic ride. We even hear about Picasso! McKinney makes the case for gossip as more than superficial and sometimes damaging hearsay. Women and other marginalized people have used this medium to communicate and make alliances and take back power for centuries. Gossip is juicy because it always involves some truth, however much wrapped up in a novel package that we can all recognize and key into.

Most of the gossip in my own life that comes to mind is more complicated than this. I remember being a preteen and the queen bee at school calling everyone in class, gathering phone numbers, because she heard that her boyfriend "talked to" another girl outside of the clique. I still remember my throat going dry and my nerves rattling. Like the ones before me, I simply gave her another phone number to try and claimed innocence. I was innocent and I think we all were. I suspect that it was someone in her inner circle stirring the pot.

McKinney spins a little bit too much of a positive narrative about gossip. Gossip for me has always been about somebody getting hurt. You might feel the thrill of privileged access to information you shouldn't have. You might feel delight in someone, perhaps a certain someone, sharing that bit of yarn with you. You might feel compelled to act on it: not just spread it but blow it up to cut the drama and get it out in the open, usually at cost to yourself, especially when it turns out to be a half-truth, at best.

I felt that McKinney could've gone more into the connection between gossip and misinformation and bullying online. There's almost nothing there. She tries to characterize gossip as different from disinformation (total lies) and and malinformation (true but harmful to disclose) and somehow more innocent than I've ever thought it could be. Maybe the term "gossip" doesn't apply but I do believe people think of it this way, so this should've been acknowledged and clarified.

Still, this was an insightful read ... or I should say "listen," which was impeccably done by the author herself.

This was delightfully unexpected. I feel vindicated, as a lifelong chismosa, in my truth that gossip is how we keep us safe and is not just a vain hobby! I loved that this was a thoughtful deep dive into how gossip through the ages has been used to build communities, to warn others of potential danger, and more. I was expecting to hear more about the podcast, but I actually loved how much this book was focused on dissecting gossip as a whole social phenomenon.

4.5 Stars

You Didn't Hear This From Me is a really insightful non-fiction that addresses gossip in all it's forms.

In the book, McKinney addresses how gossip is often framed as a purely negative force, and then discusses why we (as human beings) are so drawn to it. The book acknowledges the harmful effects of gossip as a practice, but also shows how it can be used for good. McKinney argues that, at it's core, gossip is a form of information gathering that helps us make sense of the world around us.

This was a fascinating, well-written and well-researched book on a topic I had no idea I would be so interested in. The arguments presented by the author really gave me a lot to think about, and I would be interested to read more from her in the future.