Thank you #NetGalley and Independent Publishers Group / The Indigo Press. for loaning a copy of "MY FAVOURITE" by Sarah Jollien-Fardel (translated by Holly James) in exchange for a review. This Winner of the English PEN Translates award and the Swiss Prix Goncourt was nominated for many more awards in Europe and I was surprised to see it was her debut novel. It is brutal to real and feels incredibly authentic.

The punch of its message is how deeply and often irreversibly childhood abuse and trauma impacts a life. That beauty, intelligence, and professional assistance are sometimes just not enough to lift some individuals above the intrusiveness and horror of things they have experienced and witnessed. I will not get into specific details but an absolutely monstrous father commits various acts of abuse on the narrator, her sister, and their mother and though the narrator "escapes" him with the least amount of damage, we see that she ultimately does not escape at all. There are times when other adults are available to intervene (as witnesses and even professionals) but in this village in the Valais mountains of Switzerland people "mind their own affairs" - at least in the time period in which the worst of the abuse was set (the 70s/80s). It is absolutely maddening to read.

The author does a powerful job demonstrating how these acts of abuse (and the lack of assistance from those who can help) infect her life for its duration. These details continue throughout the novel in every relationship and situation she encounters. I really tore through this book and think that its message is a gut-punch to read. So appreciative for the opportunity to read and review and if books about psychological trauma and its aftermath is appealing to others, as it was for me, I highly recommend it.

Thanks, NetGalley, for an ARC of this book.

This book is not a good time, but it is an extremely organic representation of life as the daughter growing up in an abusive household. Jeanne's life in this short but powerful book is a perfect representation of being stifled by an abusive parent, being angry with the parent who stays in the relationship, and for the rest of her community for simply turning a blind eye instead of helping the three women. The descriptions are economical but evocative of the slow expansion of emotions and life as Jeanne slowly opens up to the world and her preferences after getting away from her home. A regular book would have this escape be the emotional zenith of the story, but this one is about whether, through distance or other people or just staying where you are, there is really an escape from this kind of abuse and its effects on your mind?

This one really broke my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

Jeanne’s past follows her everywhere. Her father’s haunting presence always lingers over her, and no matter how often she runs into someone’s loving arms, her heart never fully mends. She’s always running, but never fast enough to escape.

I kept underlining line after line. So much of this story resonated with me, and I just feel so much pain and so much love for Jeanne.

This is a story that will stay with me forever. So painfully raw and real. Beautiful and heartbreaking all at once.

Thank you, NetGalley and the publisher, for the e-arc!

The story is compelling and beautifully written, but I wasn’t fully satisfied with the conclusion. Still, it’s a powerful and unforgettable read.

"God forgives. But not me" (c)

While emotional and heartbreaking, this story is very relatable and painful. The book follows a family with a very abusive father and shows all the ugly (and real) things that happen when everyone around the family (relatives, neighbors, etc.) keeps acting like nothing is happening. Seeing the women of the family go through all of that was very gut-wrenching.

The main character, Jeanne, is a very powerful person with her own troubles. The book shows how the way she grew up affected her relationship with men, the sorrow she feels for not doing more for her sister and mother, the anger she has inside and can't let go of.

It's a very good book with very thought-provoking and emotional themes, but something was missing for me, unfortunately.

3.5 stars from me
Thank you NetGalley and Independent Publishers Group for this ARC.

Thank you NetGalley and Indigo Press for providing the arc! This was a really hard book, a woman is healing from her abusive home, specifically from her abusive father.

The main character is hard to connect with and yet you feel so so hard for her. And watching her unravel is…WOOF.

This book definitely is a character driven book, and HEAVILY deals with abuse. So if those things are not for you, I would steer clear of this. Otherwise I think it was an engaging book that was outside of my comfort zone.

An emotional reading. I was keen on reading this novel as I was interested in discovering how Jeanne would develop psychologically. I was a bit disappointed in most of the characters. They followed a rather cliché pattern making the storyline not that really convincing. What I will remember about this book is the concept of forgiveness: what does that actually mean? Can one forgive or rather accept what happened and try to survive? What about saying sorry? Isn't it a bit too easy, do you do it for yourself or for the victim? However, I really enjoyed the last encounter between Jeanne and her father, but not everyone might agree...
What disturbed me a bit was the idea of homosexuality as a consequence to her disastrous childhood. This is definitely not necessarily true.
An interesting storyline which could have been a bit more subtle.
I received a digital copy of this novel from NetGalley and I have voluntarily written an honest review.

WOW what a read. I had a hard time getting through this, not because it wasn't well-written, but because it WAS so well-written in such a powerful and tragic way. I can't even imagine what Jeanne and her family went through; every character was so well-developed and the prose written beautifully - you could feel the tension and fear come right off the page. Some parts did kind of drag a bit, but overall this was a beautiful and moving read that I'm sure will be a hit upon its release. Thanks so much for the ARC!

The story follows Jeanne, a woman scarred by a traumatic childhood. She endured abuse, witnessed her father’s cruelty toward her mother and sister and watched as it irreparably shattered her family. In their small town, where appearances are prioritized above all else, everyone was aware of the abuse but chose to turn a blind eye. This neglect left Jeanne feeling abandoned, in pain, and filled with rage as she grew up.

The story deeply explores how these experiences shape and affect Jeanne as she struggles to free herself from the weight of her past. I thoroughly enjoyed the translation, the writing was clear, fluid, and engaging. Though the book is short, it doesn’t need to be any longer. The narrative is sharp and to the point, capturing how profoundly our environment molds us.

Jeanne’s complexity is beautifully crafted. At times, her actions may frustrate you, but that only highlights how realistically flawed she is, making her journey all the more poignant. Tho she moves away, physically escapes her painful past, she's still haunted by her demons and it only comes to show, that some things are just impossible to forget or work through. Even with time and help.

The portrayal of the main character, Jeanne, and her relationship with Charlotte was especially painfully realistic. It reminded me of this quote: "If you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. You will find him even when he's not there."
Jeanne's fear of turning into her father is so authenthic and raw, it made me feel for her. This is all she knows and grew up with - the anger, the rage - she knows nothing else.

Then there's Marianne, this saint-like figure. We see their relationship through Jeanne's eyes and in a way, Jeanne uses Marianne's kindness to ease her own pain. It mirrors how her father used his wife to channel his rage. Jeanne too uses Marianne, but in a different way. I would have loved to see Jeanne come to this realization, but instead, the introduction of a third love interest detracted from that potential insight. To me, this subplot felt somewhat out of place.
As someone who is straight, I can't personally relate to Jeanne's struggles with her sexuality. However, I did find it somewhat odd that she questioned her attraction to women, associating it with the abuse she suffered from men throughout her life. It didn’t seem like an accurate reflection of how sexuality works. Genuinely speaking, that part felt a little problematic, though I acknowledge that everyone’s journey is unique, so I can’t judge.

Aside from that, I thought the story beautifully depicted the struggle of finding peace after growing up in a constant state of fight or flight. I really enjoyed the book, as it portrayed Jeanne’s emotional journey with painful beauty.

"I was a child. I understood things without knowing." (loc. 50*)

Growing up in a Swiss village, much of what Jeanne knows is violence. She learns early to gauge her father's moods and the likelihood that violence will follow; she learns early that the other adults in her life will be complicit by their silence and inaction. And it is the shadow of her father's violence that follows her through the years that follow, as she weighs—consciously and unconsciously—her love for her mother and sister against the deep-rooted lessons of her childhood that she can't quite seem to shake.

"My body is a fortress: it doesn't know peace." (loc. 420)

This reminds me a little of Sara Gallardo's "January", though even as I say that I don't think the comparison is quite right. I think it's in the sense of time and place—era is not so explicitly defined in "My Favourite", but there is still a sense of a time in the past when much more was left unsaid, and a further sense of rural isolation. The story largely takes a 'looking back' kind of tone, which works for me because this is relatively short; I think in a longer work I might have preferred something a bit more dynamic.

In many ways I think this is something of a character study of Jeanne in the wave of her trauma. Where she is fleshed out, the other characters are not; they're left as sketches. I found that this didn't really bother me, because the point of those other characters seemed more about how Jeanne did and didn't and could and couldn't act with and react to them. Her sister, who is fundamentally good but a bit scatty, and whose trauma takes a different shape; her father, who has brief moments of grief but otherwise only rage; her first partner, who has no hope of doing anything other than following in parental footsteps; her partner later in the book, who is nothing but unfailingly thoughtful. As themselves, they're not terribly interesting; if you read them more for how Jeanne acts around them, they're more interesting. (Jeanne's last scene with her father, and her insights into what her reactions mean for the way Marine will see her going forward—that's what I'm here for.) I'm not so interested in the affair Jeanne has, but again, what I think is most valuable about that is that it can only ever give her some of what she is looking for.

I'm curious about the choice to translate the French title, "Sa préférée", as "My Favourite"—my French is rather rusty, so what do I know, but I think a more expected translation would be "His Favourite". The question of a 'favourite' does come up a couple of times, in a couple of different contexts, and I suppose I wonder how much those contexts played into the choice of translation for the title.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.

My Favourite by Sarah Jollien-Fardel

This literary debut is a beautifully written yet harrowing exploration of trauma, resilience and the long shadow of childhood abuse. The prose is striking, at times almost poetic, capturing both the stark beauty of the Swiss Alps and the raw pain of the protagonist’s journey.

While the novel is undeniably powerful, the emotional weight can feel overwhelming, and the narrative’s detachment at times makes it difficult to fully connect with the main character. The pacing also lags in places, making it a slow read despite its relatively short length.

Overall, My Favourite is a thought-provoking but emotionally heavy novel that will resonate with readers who appreciate literary fiction that doesn’t shy away from darkness.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

📖 Have you read this one? Let me know your thoughts!

#MyFavourite #SarahJollienFardel #LiteraryFiction #TranslatedFiction #BookReview #Bookstagram #Booktok #ReadingCommunity #FictionLover #BooksOfInstagram

Wow this was so raw, emotional, heartbreaking, it captured the trauma of abuse on a visceral level. I picked it up and immediately was taken with the story staying up to finish it in one sitting, absolutely immaculate prose. A triggering read but one I’ll never forget.

This book was incredible, but also heartbreaking. I fluctuated between rage and sadness, and there was just so much tragedy. I read the whole thing in one evening, and it flowed so easily. Many thanks for letting me read it!