This is a well-written and illuminating memoir recording Ismail’s personal experience of building a life as American Muslim. In many ways, this is a typical “child of immigrants” story — finding a balance between the traditional values and expectations in which he was raised and the not-so-traditional American culture in which he lives — but the story is somewhat atypical because being a Muslim in America is not always an easy thing to be. The memoir focuses primarily on the topics in the subtitle — how to live a good and meaningful life, be a good Muslim, be a good husband and father with the definition of “good” being something that evolves over time with a great deal of thought and discussion.

I read this book to better understand the Muslim religion and those who practice it — especially in light of the pretty scary practices of the more extreme Muslim groups which (unfortunately) seem to have control over the places most Muslims live. I did get a much better understanding of what I would called “American Islam” vs extremist Islam from Ismail’s 15 short “Who’s Afraid of Aymann Ismail?” video episodes than I did from the book, which didn’t obviously differentiate between the two. I got the impression that Ismail didn’t think he should have to explain that, but to those of us who have met few Muslims but read a lot of (scary) news, the clarification of his video series helped a lot. In the memoir, his comments on both 9/11 and the Israel Hamas war were complaints about the negative impact on American Muslims without a word of condemnation of the attackers or acknowledgement of the pain of the victims. This disturbed me. To be fair, Ismail is unashamedly anti-Israel and doesn’t seem to feel the need to understand “the other side” at all, though one of his video episodes focussed on man who had tried to do that — and was roundly attacked by the Islam community. At any rate, I did enjoy most of the video series, and gained some real education on topics that had not been clear to me, and when I step away from the political (which was NOT the focus of the memoir) I found it to document a well reflected journey that supports values I could easily relate to.

"Becoming Baba" is Aymann Ismail's memoir, detailing his experiences growing up in New Jersey as an Egyptian-American child to his current state as a husband and father to two children of his own. This is a beautifully complex and layered memoir, that pulls in his memories and experiences growing up to becoming an adult - a stage that continues to require evolution and learning as he juggles the many priorities and values that he's been taught by his family and background and the frequent clashes they have living in the United States.

As the youngest of four children, Aymann grew up watching his three older siblings navigate their lives in very different ways, from the rebelliousness of his older brothers to his studious model sister Hebah. From a young age, he had a experienced the frequent incompatibility of what he was expected to follow in the Qaran to the way of life in the Ironbound neighborhood of Newark, New Jersey. From relationships with girls to expectations of prayer, it continued with him as he left for college at Rutgers and found a future career for himself as a photographer and writer at SLATE.

As an adult, Aymann has to navigate the complexity of finding a partner who aligns with his family's values but also supports and challenges him - a difficult but not impossible feat once he meets Mira and the two eventually get married. When he becomes a father for himself for the first time, it brings into question how he wishes to raise his own children and simultaneously helps him grasp the perspective of his parents and the sacrifices they made for him and his siblings.

This is a touching and emotional memoir, and one I connected with personally as a first-generation immigrant growing up in a similar area as Aymann. I didn't have have much background into Islam however, and appreciated the depth and open-mindedness that he went into, both from a factual and personal lens. I appreciated as well the additional historical context of major events in recent years, including 9/11 and the ensuing racism against anyone who appeared to be of Middle Eastern descent, the COVID-19 pandemic and rise of Black Lives Matter, and the ongoing conflict Israel-Palestine conflict - many of which Aymann had first-hand experience with given his work at SLATE.

Very much a recommended read when "Becoming Baba" is published in July 2025!