3.75 ⭐️

This was .. quite a difficult book for me to rate. I thoroughly enjoyed the plot and everything but ...the whiplash with Pete ...that was tough to read about. I felt that the story was rushed at certain points? I think a lot of the plot and story was revealed at 90% into the book and i would have preferred to read more about the aftermath? It felt really incomplete about Blair etc.

It was well written in the sense that it did have me frustrated and wanting to throttle some of the characters. It was infuriating and mortifying how absolutely no one believed her and also didn't give her the time of day to hear her out - Even Blair?? Women not supporting women is vile. Very heavy topics written about in this book and i do think a lot of it was handled with grace and care.

Overall, a heavy read but extremely important topics covered which makes it quite worthwhile.

She Used to Be Nice by Alexia LaFata is a raw and deeply emotional novel that doesn't shy away from the uncomfortable.

Centred on Avery, a woman navigating the aftermath of trauma through emotional avoidance and sexual promiscuity, the story begins when she meets a man she truly likes, Pete, and simultaneously agrees to be the maid of honour at her best friend’s wedding — only to discover that the best man is the man who assaulted her.

What follows is not a traditional thriller, but something more intimate and emotionally resonant: a reckoning.

This novel doesn’t aim to entertain in a conventional sense; it aims to connect. LaFata crafts Avery’s internal world with aching clarity. The writing immerses you in Avery’s emotional landscape, often making you feel like you're walking beside her through every moment of dread, confusion, and resilience. It’s not always easy to read — and that’s the point. Healing isn’t linear, and LaFata doesn’t sanitise Avery’s journey to make it more palatable. That honesty is what gives the novel its emotional weight.
Avery is a compelling and courageous protagonist — not because she always knows what to do, but because she faces impossible situations with grit and vulnerability. She’s someone whose pain feels personal, whose silence feels suffocating, and whose quiet strength is impossible to ignore. The fact that her trauma is invisible to those around her, especially in such a socially charged setting like a wedding, underscores the pervasive nature of unacknowledged suffering.

One of the most powerful aspects of the book is how it challenges the idea of perception versus reality. The title itself — She Used to Be Nice — echoes the reductive ways people try to define women without understanding their stories. Through Avery, LaFata invites readers to reconsider what it means to move forward after something unspeakable.

This is not a tidy story. There are no easy answers, no neatly wrapped resolutions. And that’s what makes it feel so genuine. It's an important read, especially in a world that still struggles to talk about sexual violence with the clarity and empathy it demands.

If you’re looking for a book that’s not just emotionally gripping but also thought-provoking, She Used to Be Nice delivers. It’s a tough but essential read — poignant, painful, and ultimately, empowering.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy.

I really enjoyed this story and especially the romance aspect! I heard about this book from bad on paper podcast and was immediately intrigued by the premise so I had to request. It’s definitely one of my favorite reads of the year!

“ Another person’s opinion of you is not a fact” reading this quote was just what I needed.

Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC. I want to start by saying this book is heavy and definitely be sure you are in a good space to read this book. This started off as a slow burn for me. Took me a minute to really get into it, but when I did, I couldn’t wait to keep reading. Many times through out the book I found my chest getting tight and I was having a physical reaction to what Avery was going through. It is so easy to be the reader and be frustrated with Avery and her choices. But no one knows how they would handle what happened to hear. Early on my heart ached for Avery because I could easily see how everything played out. This book is a good representation of dealing with rape/sexual assault. This book was heavy and I definitely want a hug after finishing it.
4.5 stars.

oh this book hit me in the gut. in so many brilliant ways. but boy was in hard in those good ways too. hard but something we need to keep reading. it was not only a brilliantly telling but also on a subject thats important and is often something many woman can all too often relate to. and this book felt like it was a kindness to those survivors too. it took you to the heart of what an event as SA can do to a person. it doesnt just linger it haunts and takes over like your whole body and mind has either been killed right here on the spot or is forever carrying around such weight, such fear, such deeper overtaking of misery. it effects all aspects of victims lives. and those around them are also in the ripple. we really get to see this in the book. just how deeply affected our main characters is. but its also so seamlessly woven into the plot. every moment makes sense. its not pretty. its real.
and ive not seen a book work so closely alongside a telling like this. because how often do woman have to be around the very person that destroyed their soul. and whats worse many wont be either believed or heard of just the proportion of the pain it creates.

Avery is that character for us in the book. she had something so terrible happen to her. but all others around her think she treated. and they soon turn their backs. the only person she has left is Morgan who stood by her. but then Morgan gets engaged. and this is when Avery has to come face to face with the man that did this to her. he new what happened. but hes won simply because of who he is and how he was automatically the one believed. especially after Avery is pulled into methods of dealing with it all that make people disdain upon her even more. and you see the age old stigmas come towards her by everyone around.
i felt so much injustice for her. i wanted to both come and hug her but also shake her at times because her spiralling was so upsetting. yet so very realistic and believable.
when someone new comes into her life Avery sees something different in and from him. and she starts to make her believe in the person she is again. her self loathing becomes a little softer.
but there is so much to contend with. not least the wedding and wedding party. and even her own parents are ending pain to her trauma.
an excellent book this was. couldnt keep me from it. it was just so mesmerising from start to finish of just how close to home it feels to something that is going on every single moment of our days in society. and you cannot fathom what it takes from or does to the victims. not only the act but the aftermath and how our society treats this and often fuels this type of things is just so stark and awful, and portrayed well in this novel.

thank you NetGalley for the ARC to read!
This story was very emotionally charged and deeply thought provoking. Going into this book I was expecting a more mysterious storyline, while this was not as "thriller-y" as I thought, I was still very interested in the story.

This story follows Avery on her journey through life after it takes a rather rough turn. When she agrees to be the maid of honor in her best friend's wedding, she realizes that she's in for an interesting time given who the best man is. We continue to watch Avery go through the motions of being there for her friend while dealing with some trauma internally.

I felt like this story was really well written and really gave you the chance to experience the main characters feelings as she felt them. I felt like she was a relatable character in personality wise and had a back story that (unfortunately) many girls may resonate with. The author truly puts you on the roller coaster of emotions that comes with accepting your past trauma and moving past it healing for the future. This is definitely a great novel for anyone who enjoys a real, emotional, and compelling story.

This book deals with dark issues. I found it a slow burn and hard to get into. Check tw's before reading. Thank you to Netgalley and Alcove Press for ARC.

Olivia from Bad on Paper recommended this book. Thank you for the chance to read it. I truly wish I would have enjoyed it more. Morgan is a fantastic friend, but a tad insufferable with the wedding planning. Avery needed to go to therapy at 33% not 93%. I really wanted to love this but it wasn’t for me.

"A person’s opinion of you is not fact… What makes someone else more qualified to know you than you?”

The FMC of #SheUsedToBeNice life was LIFEing. Imagine being asked to be the maid of honor for your best friend's wedding but your rapist is the best man, and no one knows? That's horrifying in and of itself, but I was also horrified by how Avery was treated, and generally so sad for her silence. I swore at this book so much. I got emotional when it hit a certain point because I was gearing up for something, but I was wrong and surprised. A good thing. Avery is awesome, and really fucking tough.

This was harrowing yet a totally immersive exploration. It's such a necessary and poignant read for everyone - considering the definition of rape is still something society struggles with today - but especially for women and the hell we crawl through to get to the other side.

5️⃣👑 Thank you to @netgalley and @alcovepress for this ARC. BUY this one on August 12th!

This was a great read! While the topic could be heavy for some to read, it's probably relatable in some way to almost everyone. I read it rather quickly and was eager to see how the story unfolded and what Avery's choices would be. Definitely would recommend and I can't wait to see what Alexia LaFata writes next :)

I loved this book even though it was often painful to read as it deals with rape--and of course the male is the one believed initially. When Avery's best friend, Morgan gets engaged, Avery will be the Maid of Honor. But when she discovers Noah will be the Best Man, she is saddened as he is someone she doesn't want to see. Fortunately she is a strong woman now and realizes she has the power to make good choices and accept the consequences for those things!
Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!

I found this one quite a difficult read.

I went into it knowing that there were some difficult topics and so I was aware that the reading experience would be tough,

The start of the book set me up to feel that this book would be really moving and powerful but for some reason I didn’t click with it. Despite being told early on what has happened, it feels like it does take a while for the story to really start. Avery is clearly struggling with her past and being forced to relive her awful SA experience when her rapist resurfaces in her life, Avery is faced with a really tough decision.

I found the earlier interactions between Avery and her rapist soo uncomfortable and I really wanted to give her a hug. I wanted to shake Morgan for her to see the distress Avery was experiencing but clearly trying to mask,

I loved how this book was driven by its characters, the development of them was excellent. The book was very thought provoking and I can see how this would be a compelling read for some.

OUCH, that was a tough read. It took me quite a bit to get through this story because it was so heavy and so personal. I think the author did an incredible job at portraying a realistic journey for us women who have been in our main characters shoes. At times it felt repetitive and frustrating to read about but that made it all the more realistic. This isn’t a comfortable story to share. This is definitely triggering at times but not overly graphic, which makes it easier to consume. Avery made me so proud and so did her closest friends. That being said, I love how the author didn’t try to tie everything up in a tidy little bow. It would have made the story lose some of that authenticity.

This book made for a compelling read, and I say that as someone who put the book down a number of times but had to keep coming back to it. There are so many women out there, me included, who can relate to SA in one form or another, and the struggle to be believed after the fact. This story tackles multiple facets of that experience in a way that had me hooked from start to finish.

Avery had a horrible experience at college and in the aftermath the only person who stands by her is her best friend, and even that loyalty is called into question when Morgan gets engaged. The college group of friends and acquaintances begins to converge around the wedding plans and Avery is literally face to face with assailant, who besides her, is the only other person who knew what happened. As is usually the case, he's the hero because he's a smooth-talker with money and a seemingly bright future.. By contrast, Avery has had years of internalising the situation and self-medicating with alcohol and hookups. At face value Avery is a hard character to like because she's so full of trauma and self-loathing, but that also comes down to societal conditioning. The more you learn about Avery, the more the slow burn of injustice starts to build up, along with the inevitable "but why didn't she say something?" Life just isn't that easy.

Along comes Pete, who has a peripheral contact with her extended social group but doesn't know a thing about her past. It's not a clean slate, but he's someone who likes her for who she is, and it takes her a long time to get on board with the idea that she just might be worth it. He's a nerdy guy still living with his parents (a fact he's mortified about but decides to own it), and his parents are great. Which leads me to her parents. The comments her parents make about other women making claims after the fact are almost word-for-word what a lot of women have heard over the dinner table over the years. It's exhausting.

The author really knows how to build the slow burn, the occasional flashbacks to flesh out a moment, the interior thoughts, and above all the tension and loathing. It really is an incredible piece of writing. There were times when I was so frustrated with Avery and could really relate to Morgan's hurt and confusion over why her best friend was self-sabotaging so much. The reveal of the wedding party participants was breathtaking, particularly when Morgan is being wide-eyed and unknowingly complicit, but Avery can't tell them why because she's so loyal to her friend and doesn't want to be problematic. Blaire is in direct direct comparison to this, the angry crumb-maiden who thought she had finally won. She hates Avery with a passion think is from a form of female misogyny; she's competing for something and someone, not realising that Avery never wanted to be in the race.

Help comes from unexpected quarters, and the truth comes out in a vastly satisfying way. The story does not finish with everything wrapped up with a nice ribbon, but there is the prospect of happiness ahead, and that's marvellous.

A challenging read for me at times, but oh so rewarding.

Wow! What a book! I found myself cheering for Avery and waiting, not so patiently, on the rapist to get what he deserved. This book was a bit gut wrenching and sad, but the characters were written well and it kept me interested. Thx to Netgalley for the ARC.

A beautifully complex and raw novel about the life altering impact of sexual assault and how even if this day an age it's a fight for women to believed. We follow a year in Avery's life in the aftermath of her rape in college and explore the impact it has on her life, her work and relationships. The character development in nuanced and LaFata deals well with an 'imperfect victim' concept and how destructive behaviours can be coping mechanisms. It's beautifully written and a hard but necessary read that will stay with you long after the last page.

She Used To Be Nice seems to set out to expose a lot of the myths we have about sexual violence. As such it feels like being lectured to, rather than taken on a journey into someone's experiences of regaining a sense of control over their life following sexual violence.

"That her female friends thought she'd cheated on her college boyfriend and now she was a shell of a human being, everything good about her gutted out like a fish." If you've experienced sexual violence, you might like the endorsement that things like hypersexuality, flashbacks, being unable to commit to new relationships and struggling to disclose the violence, are all normal. It's great to see this sort of educative material exists, but does it make it work as a book, in my mind no, it doesn't.

You can see the author, Alexia LaFata's media account of her own experience of sexual violence reflected in the book: "The sex wasn't good though. He basically used me as a human Fleshlight." So some of it is clearly drawn from personal experience, but it's written in such a preachy abstract way for the first half (which really drags on), it's actually less impactful than many memoirs I have read from women who have experienced the same. For example: "If her flashes of memory fit into an existing version of events, why add complexity about consent that would've only caused her more anguish?" Do you feel lectured to? I did.

Raw, traumatic, powerful.

We follow a young woman - Avery - over the course of a year or so as she changes her relationships with her friends and family in the aftermath of her rape in her final year at college. I read this in a couple of sittings and I aged both at and for Avery, at times the most frustrating of women but you could totally understand and relate to her acts of self sabotage.

A brilliant read.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher Alcove Press for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I can't imagine how a young woman such as Avery could regain any sort of self confidence given how easily "her friends" turned against her as the cheating rumor against Ryan grew rampant. No one believed her and as result, she saw her body as a means to be sexualized and not that there was anything else she deserved. She was simply a voluptuous woman. It was only that she started speaking out and with the support of Morgan, Charlie and Pete, did she realize how powerful she was. Noah deserved to be punished and not live the idyllic life he had on Instagram and he had with Blair. I am sure that many women identified with both their experiences as well as the emotions that subsequently followed. At the end of the day, Avery found her voice and herself as a person again.

I received a copy from NetGally and I cannot wait to have more people read this absolutely masterful book. The story of Avery was so moving and dark, I can’t recommend it more! Read the trigger warnings, though, and proceed with caution, but I think this book told its story in a very heartfelt, raw, and real way.