2.5 stars. This was an ARC from NetGalley. I applaud this author for tackling the topic of SA and the silent struggle the majority of victims experience and continued doubt even after sharing their stories. Regarding the plot, I had trouble connecting with the MFC. Her voice came off very junior, like she was in high school vs. a recent college graduate, and the self sabotage was continuous. Additionally, this story felt longer than it needed to be and the cycles of self destruction got repetitive. This story didn't leave me feeling impacted from hearing a survivor's story of finding her voice. #netgalley #sheusedtobenice #sa#metoo

This is a hard book to review and to read. A woman is the maid of honor for her best friend's wedding and learns that the man who raped her in college will be the best man. I had to take a few pauses and read something more lighthearted. But I returned, reminding myself that this is the kind of novel that builds empathy.

SHE USED TO BE NICE is an examination of the lasting damage to a victim/survivor of sexual assault, the feelings of guilt and shame over an incident that wasn’t the victim’s fault, and how denying such trauma may bleed into a person’s relationships and sense of self. Throughout most of the book, Avery is a trainwreck: sleeping around with men on dating apps and keeping her distance from them, drinking herself into oblivion, forgetting her responsibilities to her friend, and a tendency for avoidance. It’s understandable, given all that happened to her, and her refusal to voice the truth—mostly because to speak the truth is to confirm that what happened to her was real—but this can make the book hard to read at times. When you think Avery is finally learning to let people in, to trust again, she regresses and brings herself back several steps. This pattern of baby steps forward, followed by several steps back, makes sense, because healing isn’t linear, but it does at times make the book feel tedious. I had mixed feelings about Morgan throughout most of the book, mostly because her pacificist tendencies had her trying to maintain her friendships with both Avery and the group that ostracised her—I had almost dismissed her as a spineless people pleaser until she and fiancé finally pulled through on their adamant support for Avery, although this was only possible after Avery finally let herself be honest with both herself and with everyone around her.

Avery's life was upended one night when she was in college and she's never really healed. She's done a lot of other things but she hasn't had support from anyone, or even from herself. And now she's got to confront it because her friend Morgan is getting married and her abuser in in the wedding party. This isn't neat, it isn't easy, and Audrey may frustrate you. That said, it's a thought provoking look at the impact of assault. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. A good read.

While the subject matter is compelling, I found this book hard to get into. It does feel visceral and emotional, but the dialogue is stilted and feels more juvenile than the characters are meant to be. It feels like YA.

I went into this book completely blind. I legit liked the cover and applied for it and was accepted. Wow was it powerful. It is definitely a book that if you have any triggers (which I do not) surrounded sexual abuse, misconduct and most of all rape, you want to be mindful going in.

It did take me a little bit to get engaged as the FMC is unlikable from the jump however she as the narrator literally tells you how difficult she is and you know that it stems from
Her background so you want to hang on.

Watching a person have to get smacked in the face with her rapist and trying to be a good friend and her putting up with socializing with him is hard to read. But it’s ultimately healing as you see the strength that she has throughout the book. That strength comes in many different way and changes throughout it the book.

Ultimately this was a fascinating and surprising read that so highly recommend. It was also smartly and well written. I look forward to more from this author.
I am thankful to have gotten a complimentary eARC from Alcove Press through NetGalley to read which gave me the opportunity to voluntarily leave a review.

My general rating system is below. Since I primarily read ARC books I rate according to how I think like minded readers will receive the book. I will round up or down depending on many factors and try not to let my personal wants affect a books ratings.

⭐️ Hated It but pushed through as so don’t DNF ARCs I have received.
⭐️⭐️ Had a lot of trouble, prose issues, content issues, poorly edited.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ Meh, it was an ok read but it had something that stopped me from rounding up. Usually the book may have much more potential than what was given. I recommend it but with reservations.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I Really enjoyed it or think others will. These are solid reads that I definitely would recommend for a variety of reasons.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Outstanding! These are books that remain rent free in my head for well after unfinished the book. It can be for a variety of reasons from being very well written or just the vibes that captured my mind. These books are also ones I would probably read again.

Avery Russo is a twenty something college grad in NYC, we come to learn that an event that took place during her senior year of college had a lasting & damaging effect causing her to act out sexually giving her the false feeling of being in control of her life. I struggled with Avery’s character, often while reading I wished I could reach into the book & shake her while congruently wishing I could give her a hug. This book touches on the real life consequences of choices you make, but also the ones you don’t you get a say in. I think this book provides an excellent example as to why it’s important to stay true to yourself & to remember to give yourself grace even when you don’t think you deserve it.

Enjoyed this, especially the voice. I think I would have liked to spend a little more time seeing Avery heal, but otherwise, I felt it was well paced.

I am a big fan of books that address sexual violence realistically. And this did. However I just didn’t like the main character at all. She felt a bit like the people I mostly avoid in real life. Sort of a pretentious millennial New Yorker stereotype.

While this was was well written I got SO irritated by the narrators lack of action- this may be very realistic to real life experience and trauma but I found myself yelling at her internally through the whole book! Gripping read, check the trigger warning!

An emotional, deeply wrought book about a woman figuring herself out after tragedy. I sipped, rather than binged, this one because the topics inside could be rough. LaFata handles them deftly, and I really enjoyed the journey.

A visceral and emotional read however the dialogue was elementary and therefore felt like a young adult novel.
She Used to Be Nice was about a young girl, Avery, who was sexualy assaulted on campus. She hid the truth for a long time and came to find herself forced to stand opposite of her rapist in her best friend’s wedding party. From there she had to decide whether to protect the fragile life she’s pieced together or to finally reclaim her story.

This was Alexia LaFata’s debut novel and a harrowing one. Since this was drawn upon her real life experience with sexual violence, I imagine this was cathartic to her.

The themes were important, but the execution lacked nuance. On top of that, I found Avery’s character hard to connect to. I did find her flawed personality relatable because she was a complex character-guarded and self destructive- and therefore made this story more raw and authentic. In addition to the unlikable main character, the pacing lagged in the middle followed by a rushed culmination. As a result, I was
left feeling underwhelmed and unsatisfied.

Despite me wanting to love this debut by Alexia LaFata, this unfortunately was not as gripping as I had hoped for. I wish this was one I could recommend but this one missed the mark for me.

Thanks to Net Galley and Alcove Press for an advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

3.75 ⭐️

This was .. quite a difficult book for me to rate. I thoroughly enjoyed the plot and everything but ...the whiplash with Pete ...that was tough to read about. I felt that the story was rushed at certain points? I think a lot of the plot and story was revealed at 90% into the book and i would have preferred to read more about the aftermath? It felt really incomplete about Blair etc.

It was well written in the sense that it did have me frustrated and wanting to throttle some of the characters. It was infuriating and mortifying how absolutely no one believed her and also didn't give her the time of day to hear her out - Even Blair?? Women not supporting women is vile. Very heavy topics written about in this book and i do think a lot of it was handled with grace and care.

Overall, a heavy read but extremely important topics covered which makes it quite worthwhile.

She Used to Be Nice by Alexia LaFata is a raw and deeply emotional novel that doesn't shy away from the uncomfortable.

Centred on Avery, a woman navigating the aftermath of trauma through emotional avoidance and sexual promiscuity, the story begins when she meets a man she truly likes, Pete, and simultaneously agrees to be the maid of honour at her best friend’s wedding — only to discover that the best man is the man who assaulted her.

What follows is not a traditional thriller, but something more intimate and emotionally resonant: a reckoning.

This novel doesn’t aim to entertain in a conventional sense; it aims to connect. LaFata crafts Avery’s internal world with aching clarity. The writing immerses you in Avery’s emotional landscape, often making you feel like you're walking beside her through every moment of dread, confusion, and resilience. It’s not always easy to read — and that’s the point. Healing isn’t linear, and LaFata doesn’t sanitise Avery’s journey to make it more palatable. That honesty is what gives the novel its emotional weight.
Avery is a compelling and courageous protagonist — not because she always knows what to do, but because she faces impossible situations with grit and vulnerability. She’s someone whose pain feels personal, whose silence feels suffocating, and whose quiet strength is impossible to ignore. The fact that her trauma is invisible to those around her, especially in such a socially charged setting like a wedding, underscores the pervasive nature of unacknowledged suffering.

One of the most powerful aspects of the book is how it challenges the idea of perception versus reality. The title itself — She Used to Be Nice — echoes the reductive ways people try to define women without understanding their stories. Through Avery, LaFata invites readers to reconsider what it means to move forward after something unspeakable.

This is not a tidy story. There are no easy answers, no neatly wrapped resolutions. And that’s what makes it feel so genuine. It's an important read, especially in a world that still struggles to talk about sexual violence with the clarity and empathy it demands.

If you’re looking for a book that’s not just emotionally gripping but also thought-provoking, She Used to Be Nice delivers. It’s a tough but essential read — poignant, painful, and ultimately, empowering.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy.

I really enjoyed this story and especially the romance aspect! I heard about this book from bad on paper podcast and was immediately intrigued by the premise so I had to request. It’s definitely one of my favorite reads of the year!

“ Another person’s opinion of you is not a fact” reading this quote was just what I needed.

Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC. I want to start by saying this book is heavy and definitely be sure you are in a good space to read this book. This started off as a slow burn for me. Took me a minute to really get into it, but when I did, I couldn’t wait to keep reading. Many times through out the book I found my chest getting tight and I was having a physical reaction to what Avery was going through. It is so easy to be the reader and be frustrated with Avery and her choices. But no one knows how they would handle what happened to hear. Early on my heart ached for Avery because I could easily see how everything played out. This book is a good representation of dealing with rape/sexual assault. This book was heavy and I definitely want a hug after finishing it.
4.5 stars.

oh this book hit me in the gut. in so many brilliant ways. but boy was in hard in those good ways too. hard but something we need to keep reading. it was not only a brilliantly telling but also on a subject thats important and is often something many woman can all too often relate to. and this book felt like it was a kindness to those survivors too. it took you to the heart of what an event as SA can do to a person. it doesnt just linger it haunts and takes over like your whole body and mind has either been killed right here on the spot or is forever carrying around such weight, such fear, such deeper overtaking of misery. it effects all aspects of victims lives. and those around them are also in the ripple. we really get to see this in the book. just how deeply affected our main characters is. but its also so seamlessly woven into the plot. every moment makes sense. its not pretty. its real.
and ive not seen a book work so closely alongside a telling like this. because how often do woman have to be around the very person that destroyed their soul. and whats worse many wont be either believed or heard of just the proportion of the pain it creates.

Avery is that character for us in the book. she had something so terrible happen to her. but all others around her think she treated. and they soon turn their backs. the only person she has left is Morgan who stood by her. but then Morgan gets engaged. and this is when Avery has to come face to face with the man that did this to her. he new what happened. but hes won simply because of who he is and how he was automatically the one believed. especially after Avery is pulled into methods of dealing with it all that make people disdain upon her even more. and you see the age old stigmas come towards her by everyone around.
i felt so much injustice for her. i wanted to both come and hug her but also shake her at times because her spiralling was so upsetting. yet so very realistic and believable.
when someone new comes into her life Avery sees something different in and from him. and she starts to make her believe in the person she is again. her self loathing becomes a little softer.
but there is so much to contend with. not least the wedding and wedding party. and even her own parents are ending pain to her trauma.
an excellent book this was. couldnt keep me from it. it was just so mesmerising from start to finish of just how close to home it feels to something that is going on every single moment of our days in society. and you cannot fathom what it takes from or does to the victims. not only the act but the aftermath and how our society treats this and often fuels this type of things is just so stark and awful, and portrayed well in this novel.

thank you NetGalley for the ARC to read!
This story was very emotionally charged and deeply thought provoking. Going into this book I was expecting a more mysterious storyline, while this was not as "thriller-y" as I thought, I was still very interested in the story.

This story follows Avery on her journey through life after it takes a rather rough turn. When she agrees to be the maid of honor in her best friend's wedding, she realizes that she's in for an interesting time given who the best man is. We continue to watch Avery go through the motions of being there for her friend while dealing with some trauma internally.

I felt like this story was really well written and really gave you the chance to experience the main characters feelings as she felt them. I felt like she was a relatable character in personality wise and had a back story that (unfortunately) many girls may resonate with. The author truly puts you on the roller coaster of emotions that comes with accepting your past trauma and moving past it healing for the future. This is definitely a great novel for anyone who enjoys a real, emotional, and compelling story.

This book deals with dark issues. I found it a slow burn and hard to get into. Check tw's before reading. Thank you to Netgalley and Alcove Press for ARC.

Olivia from Bad on Paper recommended this book. Thank you for the chance to read it. I truly wish I would have enjoyed it more. Morgan is a fantastic friend, but a tad insufferable with the wedding planning. Avery needed to go to therapy at 33% not 93%. I really wanted to love this but it wasn’t for me.