I can’t recommend this book enough. It’s so informative about where relational traumas come from and give you steps to heal them. I have never felt more seen and just accepted. I will recommend this book to all of my dear friends.

This highly informative book is a must read for everyone. Whether you are someone who has a hard time trusting in your relationships. Or someone who is anxiously attached to their partners, with a strong fear of abandonment. We all have our insecurities and areas to work on. Most of them stem from our childhoods.
This book breaks down and awakens you to areas in your adult life and the ties it still has on your past. Most importantly this book provides how to heal and grow.

Healing Relational Trauma: Powerful Skills to Identify Triggers, Cultivate Self-Trust, and Deepen Connection with Your Partner is a transformative guide for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of relational wounds and foster healthier, more fulfilling partnerships. This book stands out for its compassionate tone, practical tools, and deep understanding of how past trauma can shape present relationships.

The authors expertly blend psychological insights with actionable strategies, making the content accessible to both individuals and couples. The step-by-step exercises for identifying triggers are particularly powerful, offering readers a clear path to recognize and manage emotional responses that might otherwise derail connection. I found the emphasis on cultivating self-trust especially compelling, as it empowers readers to build a strong inner foundation before addressing external dynamics.

What sets this book apart is its focus on deepening intimacy through vulnerability and mutual understanding. The real-world examples and guided practices feel authentic and relatable, encouraging partners to engage in meaningful dialogue and healing together. The writing is warm yet authoritative, striking a perfect balance between empathy and expertise.

Whether you're healing from past relational trauma or simply aiming to strengthen your partnership, this book is an invaluable resource. It’s a must-read for anyone committed to fostering trust, connection, and resilience in their relationships.

I really enjoyed this read! This is something you'll want to keep on hand and come back to, as I think the topic material can be too heavy for a full-read.. but overall its filled with a lot of great information.

Until recently, I didn't know that there was a word to describe part of my childhood trauma: relational trauma. I started learning what I could, but didn't find a book available to help me with healing this until now.

I learned more about relational trauma through this book, and I have done the exercises to work on healing it. I will be purchasing a physical copy of this book to highlight, underline, and write in. I want to delve more deeply into healing the relational trauma so that I can be healthier and happier.

If someone has been abusive to you, you may have relational trauma. If so, I highly encourage you to get this book. It's one I recommend to all counselors and therapists as well.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC of this book. All opinions are my own.

Reading Healing Relational Trauma felt as though Melissa Fulgieri were right there beside me. Her words struck deeply — often uncomfortably close to home — but that’s precisely the point of this guide.

What makes this book especially powerful is its tone: gentle, compassionate, and deeply validating. It acknowledges the uncomfortable truth that trauma is more common than we’d like to admit — and that no parent is perfect. Yet instead of assigning blame, Fulgieri offers understanding, insight, and a path forward.

The book is highly interactive, with thoughtfully designed exercises and practical advice that encourage reflection and healing at your own pace. The examples given are particularly striking — they help you clearly see the impact of relational trauma, especially when your own experiences are so close that you struggle to recognise them for what they are.

One of the book’s strongest messages is the importance of open communication with those closest to us. Everyone has different life experiences, traumas, and coping mechanisms — and without communication, even the best intentions can miss the mark. Learning to express our needs and hear those of others is essential to building and maintaining healthy relationships.

Ultimately, Healing Relational Trauma is a quiet but firm reminder that we are all worthy of healing, and of being truly seen and understood by those we love.

Thank you to New Harbinger Publications, Netgallery, and Melissa Fulgieri for an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

Synopsis: This quick read is a self-help book for those who have experienced interpersonal trauma. Fulgieri does a nice job explaining the various types of traumatic experiences and ways in which these traumas can impact our relationships with others.

What I liked: I liked that Fulgieri steered clear of psychobabble and made this book really approachable and understandable. The text is straightforward, easy to read, and applicable. I also liked that there were several exercises that the reader could participate in.

Gripes: Most of the examples provided in the book were based on romantic relationships. And while I think that is really important, I also know that relational trauma presents in many other forms of relationships (e.g., friendships, colleagues). I wish that the work had expanded into that a little more. One of my greatest pet peeves is when individuals in the mental field discuss Maslow's hierarchy of needs without acknowledging that he based it around Siksika (Blackfoot) Nation beliefs. This is commonly known and seems to be a large oversight by Fulgieri.

Overall: This book will be helpful to some people who have had significant, interpersonal trauma and are looking for actionable steps to help themselves break through maladaptive patterns.

Fantastic, great material! Looking forwarding to using this to help future clients and support my work as a therapist.

There was so much good information in this book! Incredibly informative and thought provoking. I would definitely read this again and take more notes next time so that I can integrate more of this information into my own life!

Healing Relational Trauma by Melissa Fulgieri is one of those books that just makes sense from the start. It takes something as complex as childhood relational trauma and breaks it down in a way that feels easy to follow, but never watered down. I really appreciated how she explains things step by step by using examples, analogies, and a tone that feels more like a conversation than a lecture.
One of my favorite aspects of the book is how interactive it is. The reflective exercises throughout really helped me pause and connect the dots in my own life like identifying triggers, unpacking emotional responses, and recognizing recurring patterns in relationships. Fulgieri’s discussion on attachment styles was especially eye-opening; it helped me see why I respond the way I do in certain situations and, more importantly, how to start shifting those dynamics.
The tone of the book is warm and inviting, which made it easier to engage with some of the more difficult concepts. I found myself highlighting sections that spoke directly to things I’ve experienced but never had the language to articulate. This book doesn’t promise overnight transformation, but it offers something more powerful. A grounded, compassionate starting point for healing, growth, and more intentional relationships.
Huge thanks to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for the advanced copy! It's a book I’ll definitely be returning to.

Healing Relational Trauma by Melissa Fulgieri offers a simple yet intuitive approach to understanding how childhood relational trauma impacts our relationships with ourselves and others. The book’s structure is gradual and accessible, starting with key concepts, analogies, and descriptions, and then building on them in a way that’s easy to understand and apply. The tone is both informative and approachable, making complex ideas feel digestible.

The book excels in its clear, eloquent presentation, offering practical exercises to deepen self-awareness, understand trauma, and recognize triggers. The strategies are valuable for anyone looking to improve emotional intelligence, build healthier relationships, and navigate interpersonal dynamics with greater awareness. Fulgieri’s insights into attachment styles and how they shape our interactions are incredibly eye-opening, offering readers actionable tools to recognize and address relational patterns and create stronger, more authentic connections.

This book provides a solid foundation for healing relational trauma, promoting emotional growth, and cultivating healthier, more authentic relationships.

I appreciate NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for the opportunity to read this early copy!

ok wow? this tiny book was an absolute game-changer for anyone who has ever struggled with love, trust, or intimacy. if you’ve felt unworthy in relationships, feared abandonment, or found yourself stuck in unhealthy patterns, this book offers the clarity and tools you need to heal. it breaks down how childhood wounds—whether from neglect, emotional distance, or unmet needs shape the way we connect as adults. most importantly, it reminds you that none of this is your fault, and real change is possible.

very relatable if you're in a long term marriage or relationship. it's not just about attachment styles and trauma; it’s about feeling seen, understanding yourself on a whole new level, and learning how to build the kind of love you actually deserve. With practical exercises, communication tips, and real-life examples, it teaches you how to set boundaries, navigate triggers, and create healthier, stronger relationships.

this book hit me hard. i reflected so much and i saw my marriage and myself differently. it helped me understand where my fears came from and, more importantly, how to move past them.

this was incredibly validating—i can’t recommend it enough.

4.5 ⭐️
thank you New Harbinger Pub for a copy!

Never have I ever felt so called out and yet so understood by a book before. I’ve read countless self-help books over the years, but none have pulled me in as quickly or as deeply as Healing Relational Trauma by Melissa Fulgieri. Generational and relational trauma—especially the kind that carries over from childhood, whether we remember it or not—is very real. While conversations around this topic are becoming more open, there’s still a long way to go.

Fulgieri frequently references The Body Keeps the Score, last year’s “it girl” of trauma books. However, at a fraction of the size, I found Healing Relational Trauma to be even more impactful. Rather than wading through dense medical jargon and endless case studies, this book delivers its insights in a way that feels accessible and human—all in under 200 pages.

Since I read this as an ARC (thank you, NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications!), I moved through it faster than I normally would. But I fully intend to do a reread and take my time working through the exercises and worksheets. Even without completing the assignments, I was able to recognize so many truths about my attachment styles and how they shape my relationships. While the book is framed around deepening romantic connections, I believe its lessons apply to all relationships in life.

This is a must-read for anyone looking to heal from the past and build healthier connections. Five stars—highly recommend!