Before I Forget by Tory Henwood Hoen is a touching and emotional story about family dynamics and how difficult it is to see a parent decline due to dementia. Cricket returns to her father's home to help him as he battles dementia. The book takes an odd twist in the middle, and he becomes "The Oracle" with people coming from far and wide to see him. Although it seemed a little like elder abuse to me, it helped them, and the book was good, with a beautiful setting and well thought out characters.

Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for an ARC of this novel in exchange for my honest review.

So, this didn't go in a direction I expected. Don't really like the direction it went in but still was enjoyable and still made me cry.

Before I Forget is a moving and funny story of how a 20-something aimless woman finds purpose and growth while taking over the care of her Alzheimer-afflicted father so her much more together older sister can pursue a graduate degree abroad. Confined to a quickly upstate NY town that she had left due to a teenage tragedy, Cricket finds her way with her father and connections old and new. As she in convinced her father's diminished faculties in our world are providing him connections to another world, especially in seeing her deceased teenage crush, Cricket channels her work wit a wellness influencer to offer access to "the Oracle" and becomes and unlikely phenomenon. Torn between competing interests like her mother's practical side vs her father's love of nature and wonder; and local friends like a dance studio owner and a man wracked by the grief of his late mother, Cricket finds her way to manager her father's care, reconnect with the world, and find a path to her abandoned dream of working in veterinary medicine.
This is a funny, touching novel about finding what really matters in life, whether you need some spiritual guidance or can find it within yourself.

So happy I got my hands on this ARC—huge thanks to St. Martin’s Press! I read it in about a week and it totally messed with my sleep schedule (worth it). It had me laughing one minute and crying the next... it just hits different.

Cricket completely stole my heart. She felt so real and relatable, like someone I’ve known forever. Sometimes you just need a story that balances the funny, awkward parts of life with the deep, emotional ones—and this book absolutely nailed it. Can’t recommend it enough.

✨This is the story of Cricket, a young woman whose coming of age was interrupted by a tragedy in her late teens. She is stumbling through life in a cascade of grief when she has the opportunity to return home to care for her father who has Alzheimer’s.

✨ This is a beautifully written story that authentically depicts the spiral of grief and trauma and how they all too often alter the course of our lives. Plans cancelled. Dreams lost. Progress halted. Cricket embodies this abandonment of self – and at its heart, this is a story of how she manages to reclaim her life.

✨The dynamic between Cricket and her father Arthur is nothing short of breathtaking. With that said, I must add that Alzheimer’s was not depicted in a fully realistic manner in these pages. Even so, the departure was not handled irresponsibly but rather offered a sense of delight and whimsy in the tenderest way. I felt like this deviation actually drove Cricket’s character development, and so this part of the story eventually won me over.

✨I wasn’t expecting a book about dementia to have such a calming and peaceful effect. Despite sobbing my eyes out at one point, the overarching notion that it’s never too late to become who you’re supposed to be is a truly lovely message.

🌿Read if you like:
✨Late coming of age tales
✨The natural world
✨Adirondacks settings
✨Parent-child dynamics
✨Stories of grief and healing
✨Family drama
✨Found family
✨Dual timelines
✨On Golden Pond movie
✨That one sensational tomato of the summer (you’ll have to read the book to find out what this is all about)

My thanks to @stmartinspress and @netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this book before its publication date.

This book was so heartfelt, intriguing, and honest. Cricket (the main character) walks through life with all the ups, downs, terrors, and successes.
This book was so relatable to me. The struggles Cricket went through with her dad, Arthur, I went through with my mom (though with a different diagnosis). There were many nights I couldn't put the book down, always excited to read what was next for Cricket and the Oracle. The plot keeps your attention and makes you want to never put it down. I greatly appreciate the real-world complexity this book walks through with Cricket and addresses many problems some of us face on a daily basis. This was one of the best books I have ever read, and I will always recommend it.

I really enjoyed this story. Cricket moves to her father’s house in the mountains to care for him and his dementia. I liked reading about their relationship with one another and how Cricket moves forward with her grief and struggles from her childhood. It was a really sweet story and easy to follow along.

Before I Forget is a beautiful story about the tragedy and heartache that exists in life, and all the beauty that exists alongside it. I was immediately drawn to this title because the narrative resembles one I am writing, myself, but even so, it unfolded on the page in new and unexpected ways. I found Cricket, the main character, to be extremely likable and sympathetic, and I was immediately taken by her dad and his struggles with memory loss as well. The setting was quiet, a lovely balance to the story, and the cast of side characters were engaging, keeping the otherwise relatively heavy narrative refreshingly light. While I think the novel could have done more/gone further with the depth of the main subject, I think the authors choice to keep it playful in many ways will allow this story to be approached by a wider audience.

I thought this book tackled an uncomfortable and disturbing topic with sensitivity and hopefulness. The storyline is a little improbable but also hopeful! I liked all the characters and particularly enjoyed seeing the change in the relationships between the family members.

I really enjoyed the novel, Before I Forget. The story of a young woman dealing with her declining father at the same time she is trying to find herself was very realistic and relatable. I enjoyed the clever plot of the novel. Believing that Alzheimer’s has given her father a glimpse into deeper insights and understandings leads to interesting conversations with friends and strangers as the news of his unique talent spreads. The author does a smooth job of providing enough backstory to explain the rift between Cricket and her father without letting the past overwhelmed the book.
At the center of this novel is the question, “Can a person who no longer knows who you are forgive you?”
Anyone who enjoys a novel with heart will relish Before I Forget.

Thank you so much for the advanced copy of Before I Forget. I truly enjoyed this story. I am glad that Cricket was able to go back to the Adirondack lake to spend more time with her father before he passed away. It was such a good growing experience for her even thought it was hard for Cricket to sometimes be around her father because he didn't recognize her. I don't know how much I loved the "oracle" storyline, but understand that it was meant to draw her and her father closer together. I loved how the story ended with Cricket realizing that she cannot give up on herself and she decides to stay in the area and go back to school/open a vet clinic.

Thank you NetGalley and MacMillan Press for an ARC copy of this book. This is such a fantastic and relatable story. A heavy subject matter with a positive influence. I was captivated from the onset. Cricket was an interesting character who really stepped up and out of her comfort zone when a reason presented itself. Often times when catastrophe hits it brings the best out in people and we can see who they really are.

I loved Crickett’s approach to her father’s illness and care. Breaking away from the expected routine and stereotypical care, she managed his care with dignity and provided him the highest quality of life. What a great last few months she gifted him with her dedicated care and intuitiveness. She was strong, thoughtful and full compassionate.

This is a common illness and many people are affected by the same situations (minus the psychic piece). This story illustrates that something beautiful and positive can come out of a devastating diagnosis.

Five stars!

Thank you net galley and st Martin’s press for a copy of this arc in exchange for my honest review.

Before We Forget is a brilliant, emotionally resonant novel that had me hooked from the first page. Tory Henwood Hoen explores the fragility of memory through the story of a man facing early-onset Alzheimer’s, and does so with incredible grace, humour, and insight.

What made this book especially powerful for me was the relationship between the father and his daughter, Cricket. She’s sharp, witty, and heartbreakingly loyal—and their dynamic is the beating heart of the story. Watching Cricket navigate the shifting landscape of her father’s mind was both devastating and deeply moving, and yet Hoen manages to infuse the novel with warmth, lightness, and even joy.

The writing is whip-smart and thoughtful, filled with observations that made me pause and reflect. It touches on identity, legacy, and what we choose to remember delivered with just the right balance of poignancy and levity.

This book made me laugh, cry, and think about what really matters. Before We Forget isn’t just a story about memory loss—it’s about love, resilience, and the ties that bind us. I loved every minute of it.

I think this is another one that suffered from blurb-itis... From the blurb, I expected a lighthearted and nostalgic tale with some magical realism and family dynamics. What I found as a bit more Millennial-angsty than I typically enjoy, and a more serious exploration of a fairly dysfunctional series of people who can't quite figure out how to coexist without irritating each other. It was sadder than I expected but also a bit more sanitized in its presentation of dementia declination, and the prophetic elements contributed to that in a way I found a little off-putting. I'm definitely in the minority here, but I didn't love this one... I enjoyed the writing style and think it's possible that if I'd gone into this one cold, I'd have enjoyed it more - or at least have more deliberate in if/when I chose to read it. I followed the blurb and expected light, and it really wasn't that...

I liked the first half of Before I Forget more so than the second half. The set up was what got me hooked - adrift daughter moves home to take care of ailing father and face personal demons in the process - but the execution, namely character development, could have used some work. I don't know if the story took place over too long a period or what, but I felt like Cricket evolved into an emotionally mature person too quickly and without much explanation. If she was really at a low point (and had been for some time) when the novel started, wouldn't it have taken her a bit longer to figure out her next steps, especially while processing her father's illness and care at the same time? I liked her relationships with Paula and Carl (and even Paula's nephew), and the thread of her haunting relationship with Seth was compelling. But the Oracle and Gemma bit felt too random and at times underdeveloped.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for a review.

Absolutely loved this read! Heartwarming, beautiful and sad! Amazing debut! Thank you NetGalley and publisher for early arc

Can you come of age at 27? Sure. Cricket does in this sweet, special story of caring for her ailing father.

Cricket is aimless. She hasn’t quite figured out what she wants to be when she grows up. In high school, Cricket’s first boyfriend died in a tragic accident and her life has felt off track since.

In a series of unpredictable decisions, Cricket decides to leave her flighty NYC life behind to become the caretaker for her father, who has Alzheimer’s. In the summer home she loved as a child and teen, but fled after Seth’s death, Cricket reconnects with her father and herself.

Before I Forget, despite the sad storyline of dementia, is a lovely, feel-good read. Cricket is likable and I rooted for her from the very start. And her father Arthur is lovable. Especially when he starts to share unexpected guidance, advice and premonitions.

I loved Before I Forget and highly recommend. 4.5 stars rounded down. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Some great quotes:
“Really it was Nina’s decision—she is our family’s de facto leader—but she is skilled at including me without actually expecting anything of me. She has always known how to trick me into thinking I have agency. In that respect, she’s an exemplary older sister.”

“ Everyone’s life looks fun on social media; that’s the sorcery of it. Your soul may be slowly decaying, but there’s a filter for that.”

“‘I was convinced it was my fault. Like I said, guilt is conniving. It befriends your ego and tries to convince you that everything’s about you—the past, the future. But it’s just not true.’”

“‘I realized I only had one life. So why shouldn’t it be the one I actually want?’”

“It’s an interesting idea: the regenerating heart. After all, we do go on, no matter how much we ache with grief. And maybe our hearts don’t ache because they’re scarred or broken or because something is wrong. Maybe they ache because they are regenerating. Like the growth spurts of our youth, they make us quake with change; but once weathered, they leave us stronger and even more ourselves. Not our final selves, or even our improved selves, but just our next selves. After all, we are always between selves. It doesn’t mean we are lost—it means we are growing.”

I really loved this book. Cricket has such a clear voice, and feels like such a full HUMAN. I also think, as someone who has dealt with helping to care for a family member with alzheimers, you went about the subject in an extremely respectful and real way. I saw so many similarities between her dad and my family member it warmed my heart.

This is the (long-delayed) coming-of-age story of a 26-year old going home to care for her Alzheimer-ridden father. And let me immediately reassure you that there is absolutely nothing depressing in any of it. What I began reading with trepidation (I’m not looking for depressing stories!) pulled me forward with increasing amounts of humor, human insight, and beyond touching moments (so yes, I teared up frequently, but from seeing substance, not sadness).

Cricket quits her job as an underutilized gofer for an over-the-top healthcare company that peddles an infinite array of body rejuvenation at very high prices. Instead, she heads to her favorite place (their home in the Adirondacks) and her beloved father — neither of which she has seen since a decade old tragedy left her beyond bereft and thoroughly guilt-ridden. From here the story takes off in unexpected ways with engaging characters, possible connections to the spiritual world, some unexpected business opportunities, and many chances to rethink the past. Throughout all of it, Cricket moves toward self understanding, forgiveness, and a stronger connection to those about her.

The writing is very good — the prose, pacing, and plot elements all perfectly tuned to Cricket’s growth without demeaning the roles of others in her story. I loved the insight and the messaging and the way Cricket always behaved in a principled manner — even when she was confused or afraid. I loved the different out-of-the-box ways dementia was portrayed, without downplaying the difficulty and loss. I loved the way personality traits could be interpreted in opposites: was someone passive or patient? Complacent or content? Insatiable or intrepid?). And I loved the humor applied to the situations and characters — particularly the buffoonish commentary on new age health gurus and products (see some of my favorite quotes below).

One of my favorite books this year.

Some great quotes:
“I am only 26, which means I am essentially a larva. In contemporary America, childhood can last well into one’s 30s, 40s, and even 50s.”

“What if Alzheimers isn’t just a slow death? What if it’s another dimension entirely – an ascension even? Humans are so fixated on our minds that we see their loss as a tragedy. But what if it’s a gift? Maybe the erosion of memory clears space for something truer. Maybe the intellect gets in the way of the heart, until little by little, it doesn’t.”

“My mother once told me I was too passive, but I prefer to think of myself as patient. There are some problems that solve themselves if you simply wait a while.”

“I have a vague feeling that, when it comes to my life, not only am I sitting on the sidelines, but I’m playing the wrong game altogether. As I look around at the leftover mess from the weekend, I think: I’m ready to be something other than young.”

“I was impressed by her confidence and conviction – two things I was lacking. When you are full of questions, you are drawn to people who look like answers.”

“You could spend all day exfoliating, lifting, moisturizing, resurfacing, deep conditioning, buffing, harmonizing, depilating, and rejuvenating your bodily surfaces, but at the end of that day, your soul will still ache for what it really wants: freedom from the consumptive cycle of never feeling or looking quite good enough. We’ve conflated health with vanity. It’s not that I don’t believe in healing; I just don’t believe you can buy it for $78 an ounce.”

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this wonderful book! I absolutely loved these characters. Each was unique with his or her own voice and style and wisdom. Hoen weaves together the past and present to help the reader understand Cricket's stagnation in life, career, love, and life. Her quirky solutions to her father's memory loss makes his (and her) life richer to the end. The writing is beautiful, often lyrical .I underlined many passages to return to and ponder, and my mind has gone back to ideas and characters from the book often since I finished reading it. To me that's a true sign of a really good book. I loved everything about this book and will be looking for another one by this author.