There were things I really liked about this but there were also things that I didn’t. I’ll lead with - I think this is a really good read with a great message that every woman should read. It’s relatable. It’s funny. It’s sad. I loved the relatability element to it. What I didn’t like was how often some phrases were used throughout the book. (That’s one of my personal nitpicks. I hate when things get repetitive in books and unfortunately this one falls into that category). Repeating something a handful of times I can look past but this one, it was in double digits and that just irks me. BUT overall, I really did like this.

I loved this book! I think all women should read it. It was funny, sad, poignant and hit the nail right on the head. Clementine is my hero! The characters were so well written I thought I was hearing from a friend instead of reading a story. I look forward to reading more from Kristin Bair!

This is the book I needed. My friends need. Every women in our age-cohort needs. Clem is a mother of three who carries the mental load for her entire family and is starting to feel like Atlas...she's ready to shrug. How many people in this stage of life can relate? But then, she does something we've all wanted to do....she stops. She says no. She focuses on herself. It's a difficult journey, but she finds herself...and it. is. beautiful.

Clementine Crane Prefers Not To
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❝ I am talking about the decremental extinction of a woman’s spirit, my dear child. It’s what happens to women over time … women with kids and needy husbands and bosses who don’t listen and periods and hot flashes and lost dreams and sycamore trees. ❞


⟢ Where do I start? We follow Clementine Crane, a mother of three (four if you count her husband) who is often taken for granted by everyone around her. If her husband can't find his sweater, he asks Clementine. If her daughter forgets her skates at school, she asks Clementine for help. If her son needs money deposited into his account because he’s always hungry, he turns to Clementine. However, after experiencing a series of hot flashes from perimenopause and sleepless nights due to her husband's loud snoring, she is pushed to her limit and finally decides to stand up for herself and prefers not to.

the summary said that Clementine wanted to one small refusal at a time… but i beg to differ because this woman dropped EVERYTHING.

lose a sweater? make them look for it. forget something at home? sucks for you. however, important matters like going to appointments and feeding your children should never be taken lightly or treated as optional decisions.

there is promise in the story, and i can definitely relate as a person outside because my mother suffers from daily hot flashes, which she talks about VERY openly. and that's what i think was the key issue in Clementine's case, the lack of communication. while she does attempt to address her situation to the household, when it gets brushed off, she chooses to let it go.

another significant moment was when Clementine unintentionally started an "I prefer not to" movement that became a viral TikTok sensation as this related to the women who want to be seen, heard, felt underappreciated, and they call themselves “hot-flashers” because that’s what they’re experiencing—hot flashes.

since this is a character-driven story, i struggled to connect with Clementine because of some erratic choices she makes, like stealing the school’s goldfish, to which she seems oddly attached. there’s also a scene where she sneaks into her ob-gyn’s office as part of one of her “I prefer not to” missions and recruits other women experiencing hot flashes because she disagrees with the doctor’s prognosis. when she introduced herself as “Clementine Crane, Connector of People to Magical Things,” I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. while i understand that these women are trying to express their newfound confidence, i don’t think that was the right approach.

moreover, what threw me off around the 20-30% mark was that she repeatedly refers to herself as the Connector of People to Magical Things on numerous occasions.

“I’m the Connector of People to Magical Things,” she says this twenty-four times—I looked it up. No wonder I make this face every time she introduces herself! 🫤

no matter what, everyone should definitely take a chance on this. even if i can't connect directly, there's a spark of possibility that a hot-flasher reading this might relate with excitement :) trying to connect with someone who may not fully understand your experience is like tuning into a radio station with a weak signal. even if the reception isn't crystal clear, there's still the possibility of picking up some valuable insights or making meaningful connections if you persist and adjust your approach.

Thank you to NetGalley, Alcove Press, and the talented, Kristin Bair for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Please remember that this opinion is my own. The book will be published in October 2025 .ᐟ

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Kristin Bair nails the chaos of modern womanhood with wit as sharp as Clementine’s breaking point. From family meltdowns to viral fame, her journey is a rollercoaster of midlife mayhem, unexpected empowerment, and moments that will have you laughing and nodding in recognition. If you’ve ever juggled too much and wondered when is it my turn?, this one’s for you.

Lighthearted, funny, and truly nonlinear escape from the humdrum, every day, where everyone wants something and never shows appreciation - taken for granted - but those hot flashes push you over that edge to change things up. And maybe fishnap the library mascot, amongst other previously out-of-character actions. Fun and a great mental escape!