Matt, who is ten, would really like a cell phone like his best friend Gene has, but his parents won't agree. When he finds a cell phone on the sidewalk, he takes it home and tries to get it to work. The only thing he can get it to do is to take pictures, and he snaps one of the school crossing guard, Mr. Mackintosh... but it looks like a monster! Gene doesn't see this at all. The phone never seems to run out of charge, but has an alarm that seems to be going off. When Matt realizes that a cafeteria lady, Mrs. MacGillicuddy, is also a monster, he asks her some questions. She admits that there are aliens on Earth, and they do want to occupy the planet so that they can eat people, but she herself has become a vegetarian, and is willing to help him. Matt is able to see the monsters because he has heterochromic eyes. He briefly tries to alert Principal Delgado to the invasion at his school, but Matt is dismissed as unstable and referred to the school pyschologist. Mrs. MacGillicuddy is part of the foreign service, and knowing how to cook humans is part of her mission, but she thinks that if Matt can work to prove that humans aren't worth eating, the invasion will not happen. Along with classmate Marcella, they try to come up with a plan that does NOT involve Marcella and Matt giving up an ear, some blood, and a few bones so that Mrs. MacGillicuddy can serve appetizers to the visiting aliens. They visit her eerie house to work on plans, and a report is made to General Guggenheim that the food source is ruined, but that isn't enough. Will space aliens take to spy or seitan meat sources more readily than humans do and leave earth alone?
Strengths: Of course space aliens are going to infiltrate elementary schools first! That's where the tenderest, tastiest humans live. It was inspired to use a phone as the way that Matt found out about the aliens, because I imagine there are a lot of children who would pick up a phone and play with it because they want one so much. It was good to see that not all of the aliens were completely evil, but even Mrs. MacGillicuddy is fairly scary... she just wants one ear to serve up to her superiors! The chapters in this were short and snappy, so the story moved along quickly.
Weaknesses: This is a retro looking cover that I'm not sure will do well with my students. It looks a bit like Lubar's 2006 Punished. Middle school readers usually wants their aliens to be a little more frightening and less goofy, so perhaps the cover will appeal more to elementary readers.
What I really think: This is a good choice for readers who liked goofy space aliens adventures such as Mackel's Can of Worms, Lerner's Enginerds, London's We are Not Eaten By Yaks, or Lubar's Emperor of the Universe series.

And now I have the line "Soylent green is PEOPLE" stuck in my mind!