I read an early arc of the book courtesy of NetGalley and Crown Publishing and thought that these were good and raw essays. Some of what was talked about in the book, I've heard of before, but without such a candid and in-depth perspective. I like how the research that she shared was also woven together with her own experiences and perspectives, which made the book feel conversational. I will recommend this book to others.

ok this hits hard. this memoir is raw, moving, and such a powerful depiction of what it looks like to grow up as an asian woman in a world that constantly tries to fetishize and flatten you.

kaila gives us a look into her life through her experiences as a pinup model, being in a girl band, navigating toxic relationships, and trying to fit into whatever mold the world wanted from her.

i really appreciated how honest she was about how internalized fetishization showed up in her life. she writes with so much reflection and clarity—it’s thoughtful, unflinching, and full of heart.

highly recommend if you grew up in the 90s or early 2000s, or if you’re interested in identity, beauty, feminism, and how deeply all of it shapes us.

Thank you to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for my arc in exchange for my unbiased opinion.

As a fellow Asian American girly that thought the way to be taken seriously was to play into fetishizing myself, this collection of personal essays really struck a chord in me. Kaila Yu does a wonderfully poignant job of hitting at the exact things that I feel are universal for the Asian American girlhood experience. I appreciated how brutal Yu was in her introspection and observations of growing up and living in America as an AA woman. I can see others finding this a difficult read and even maybe finding issue with some of the depictions in this, but I found it incredibly relatable and again, it felt universal to what I had experienced.

I loved this and would recommend it to others.

An in depth analysis of fetishization of Asians, specifically Asian women that is normalized in society today. Kaila describes her experience and how this fetishization has impacted her and even made her perpetuate it as well. A very interesting read.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. Beautiful writing! A necessary look at what it is to be Asian in America with brutal honesty. The theme of self love was strong as this book went on and the entire book has an empowering vibe. This is a must read book and is relatable for all women these days. There were definitely humorous parts but also parts that made me gasp.

A human experience is being a hypocrite. That is what a really liked about this book. Kaila Yu rebels against Asian stereotypes but ends up perpetuating other stereotypes in the process. I appreciate the complexity. This book is not black or white... it shows a unique shade of gray. It's messy. That's life.

This book is worth the read. I feel like I got a clear lens into the author's view. It gave me more of an academic vibe but one I think would thrive in a college level course to review. It gives great insight and the harsh realities the author has been subjected to. Will purchase when the book comes out.

Thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for the ARC!

Kaila Yu’s "Fetishized: A Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism, and Beauty" is a memoir that silences readers with equal parts razor-sharp interrogation and gentle reflection.

Both scholarly and personal, the book situates Yu’s life experience as an import model and band leader within a culture that infantilizes and sexualizes Asian women. If you’re unfamiliar with import modeling like I was, it’s essentially where exoticized sexuality is used to sell foreign cars, an odd sort of Freudian correlation between sex and speed. Yu shines a light on the industry’s dark underbelly, and parts of the book are downright bleak, particularly because the dichotomy between sexual liberation and sexist possession can be so muddled.

At one point, Yu writes of a friend and bandmate: “For her, the line between empowerment and objectification blurred as our hemlines got shorter.”

This sort of nuance defines the book as a whole, but nowhere is it more striking than in how Yu refuses to frame herself as a passive victim. Instead, she recognizes that the truly insidious part of fetishization is how it encouraged her to perpetuate it. Every leering eye suggested the possibility of being seen. It’s the kind of self-critique possible only through deep self-love, and by acknowledging her own complicity, Yu is able to forgive herself and write a damning indictment of the male gaze—as if genuine accountability can only be reached when everyone is held accountable.

And she doesn’t pull any punches.

Yu name-drops several public figures who have had problematic relationships with Asian women. She isn’t afraid to draw attention to those who have escaped public ire because, well, we like their movies. The author writes so matter-of-factly that it’s refreshing, and there’s a kind of courage in how she refuses to be shocked or scandalized. Furthermore, when she points out the ubiquity of fetishization across movies and television, her bluntness makes it all the more horrifying—almost saying, "yeah, of course you haven’t noticed it, and that’s part of the problem."

Ultimately, this is Yu’s story, and while she excels at crafting her research into a conversation, I’m happy to say that her voice remains the loudest. When Yu addresses the aching loneliness of drug misuse or her inability to sustain a relationship, her grief is palpable but never nihilistic. When she describes her jealousy toward her bandmates, it doesn’t feel performative. When she admits that behind a keyboard, she prided herself that Asian women are “the best” because they are fetishized, it’s a heartbreaking revelation. This might be a story of a woman reclaiming her life and healing, but it's only possible through the author's mindful, heartfelt honesty and rich insight.

"Fetishized" is a book I’ll be thinking about for a long time, and I’m so grateful for Kaila Yu’s vulnerability. I think it will open discussions that no amount of analysis or statistics or moralizing can broach.

This is a 3.5 rounded up to a 4 for me. Kaila Yu's personal experiences help to illustrate many of her points around the fetishization of Asian women, but that critiques weren't new to me or particularly novel. The attitude she takes as she retells various stories show a wide range. At times, she comes across as regretful of past decisions or behaviors. In other cases, she seems defiant, as if expecting a challenge. She approaches parts of her story with a more academic lens as if she is trying to intellectualize her experience and feelings. Then she'll reflect on some other aspect as if she never had a chance and it was inevitable that things would turn out that way. I didn't expect consistency, but I was left wondering what informed her attitudes as she wrote about many of the significant events of her life. I wonder how consistent her feelings about, say, her modeling days really are. I wonder if she ever feels differently about her surgeries. I would like to know what led to her different perspectives as I doubt she simply woke up once day with knowledge about feminism and fetishization. What led her to being able to look back on her life thus far with this new lens?