"The Shocking Truth Behind What Men Really Think" is an enticing book title. However, this book is a prime example of a book that should have been an article.

Each chapter follows this format:

1) It introduces a topic (e.g., if men believe in female equality).
2) Three fictitious men (Jim, Buddy, and Noah) share their thoughts.
3) Yesterday: The book spends pages discussing what men of yesteryear used to believe regarding the topic. If you're interested in learning about the ancient Romans' views on women, you'll appreciate this section.
4) Today: It covers the last 100 years.
5) Survey: It shares the results of an anonymous survey. This is the only interesting part.

The survey results are divided into three parts:
1) What men think
2) What women think men think
3) Sharing revealing survey comments from men and women

Women tend to think men have a much lower opinion of women than men really have.

For example, 76% of men said they "believe women are innately equal to men in all characteristics, e.g., intellect, emotions, ambitions, leadership potential."

Only 21% of women thought that men would feel that way.

By the way, this is a lousy question. Women are not innately equal to men in "all" characteristics. Women are, on average, unequal to men physically.
Answering "no" to this question implies you think men are BETTER than women, but that's not necessarily true.
Some might have said, "No, we're not innately equal; women are better than men."

I suspect some men said "no" because the word "all" is hard to defend.

KEY POINT: This was an anonymous survey, so men had no incentive to lie.

Sometimes men and women agreed somewhat.
For example, when asked "what attributes they thought made a woman sexy," men said:
Appearance 38%
Intellect 17%
Character/Confidence 15%
Don't know 15%
Personality 9%
Sense of humor 4%
Concern for the man 2%

Women were correct that appearance would be the #1 attribute that men looked for, but they underestimated the importance of the other attributes. Here's what women said would be the attributes men found sexy in a woman:
Appearance 64%
Character/Confidence 12%
Intellect 10%
Sense of humor 6%
Don't know 4%
Personality 4%
Concern for the man 0%

Do smart women turn men on?
62% of men said YES
28% said NO
10% said "it depends."

Women, once again, underestimated men:
Only a third of women thought smart women would turn men on.
A third said it would be a turn-off (which is pretty close to what men said).
And a third said it would "depend."

Meanwhile, 73% of men "would feel comfortable with a woman financially supporting them."
A quarter said they would feel uncomfortable in such a situation.

Only 28% of women thought men would be cool having a woman earn the money (vastly underestimating men).
58% said NO, men would not tolerate being financially dependent.
14% said "It depends."

What do men think women find most valuable in a man, money or looks?
46% of men figured a man's financial status was most important to women.
23% thought looks would be paramount.
11% said "both."
11% Don't know
9% "depends"

Women correctly predicted what men thought women valued.
This doesn't mean that women value as men said they would.

Can a man be "just friends with a sexy, beautiful woman?"
70% of men said YES
14% said NO
13% "Depends"

Women correctly predicted men's responses on this issue.

Are men comfortable with the % of female physicians?
84% of men said YES.
11% said NO.

Women were utterly wrong about men's opinions.
Only 40% of women thought men would be comfortable with the % of female physicians.
30% said NO.
22% depends
8% don't know.

Did the #MeToo movement impact men's behavior?
26% of men said YES
67% said NO
7% don't know

Nearly half of the women believed that the #MeToo movement had changed men's behavior.
A quarter of women thought it hadn't.

About the author

Sandy Camillo is the AAUW NY President. It's challenging to find out what AAUW stands for since their NY website doesn't spell out the acronym and their national site buries it, the American Association of University Women. It fights for women's equal rights.

You might think that Camillo's pro-female bias might make her lose objectivity. Aside from a couple of poorly worded survey questions, the book is fair, and the survey was anonymous. 

Camillo declined my request for an interview. 

CONCLUSION

Although I found the survey fascinating, there's no need to write an entire book about it.
As I have just demonstrated, most of the salient points can be effectively presented in an article.

On the other hand, if you want a comprehensive history about the subjects covered, then this is an outstanding book.

If you just want to know what men think in 2025, then you'll find yourself doing what I did: skipping to the end of each chapter to see the results.


Most men won't find the truths in these survey results "shocking," but women will. That's the depressing yet positive point. 

It's depressing because it demonstrates how women haven't updated their thinking; women still think we're living in 1970 or earlier. The same problem occurs in the African American community, where some Blacks seem to believe that they're still living under Jim Crow Laws; they haven't updated their worldview to realize that we've made tremendous improvements.

The fact that only 40% of women thought a man would be comfortable with a female physician, whereas the "shocking truth" is that 84% of men are perfectly fine with one. 

I'd bet that less than 40% of African Americans would think that white Americans would be comfortable with a Black physician, even though 84% of whites would be fine with one. Those numbers aren't based on a survey, but rather intended to illustrate the general idea that victimized groups sometimes overestimate the severity of the problem. 

Which brings me to the positive point of this book: men are not nearly as sexist and misogynistic as women perceive them to be. I hope Camillo shares that fact at the AAUW. 

As Virginia Slims said in 1970, "You've come a long way, baby."

And, yes, we still have more work to do, as the surveys in this book demonstrate.

Verdict

Fascinating survey results, but it would have been more effective as an article.

5 out of 10 stars.

Unfinished While I theoretically like the format the author laid out, I immediately took against the long sections with the three different men, the writing of their conversation was so clunky and unrealistic it was impossible to keep going.
The survey answers themselves took up so little of the length and results didn’t surprise me at all.
While the interesting part for me should have been the history, I didn’t feel I was getting much I didn’t already know from this and had to stop reading.

I had a hard time getting into this book but on the whole it brought up some good points. I agreed with some and not with others and quite often thought "ugh men" while reading it.

The Shocking Truth Behind What Men Really Think About Women was a thoroughly reviewed and researched book. It was really interesting to read how the men responded to the questions and the chosen research questions were enlightening and fleshed out to learn the most possible from the answers. I liked the fictional men that were created to conversationally review how these thought patterns would be reasoned in a real life conversation.

Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this book early on! Best wishes for a successful launch :)

This was a really interesting read which is split into different questions such as 'Would a man be put off if a woman earnt more than him?' or 'Do men think women are equal?'. The author explores each question not just by throwing the results of the survey at you but through a unique way involving 3 fictional characters. I thought this was done really well and felt refreshing instead of just reading a book full of stats and research.

I will admit at times it was an infuriating read but not because of the writing but the answers to the survey from the men.

Each chapter follows the same structure: question, fictional characters thoughts, a look back through time and then finally the survey results.

Definitely a book I'd recommend if you're intrigued by what men really think...some of the answers might just surprise you!

i actually really enjoyed it, even though the entire time i was thinking "UGH MEN 😡🙄"

i think the fictional men are a great device to show men's opinions through, but reading buddy's idiotic opinions did make me want to walk into the ocean. he's obviously a representative of misogynistic beliefs, so i suppose most women would feel the same. but omg if all men were like that... 🤢🤢🤢

i found all the chapters super interesting and not too repetitive (for the most part, it did get a little repetitive in the middle there because some of the chapters were a similar concept).

also, this quote from one of the female survey respondents really got me:

"the idea of a smart woman is sexy, the reality of a woman smarter than themselves is often harder for them to stomach"

I could relate to the characters in certain moments while reading
I agree with some points of view, however not all of them. Reading made me think about society as a whole and I feel that men dont need to try that hard because our entire culture is built around their needs and preferences. Anyway, was fun