Every now and then, I come across a book I wish I could take back in time and give to a previous version of myself - this was one of them. Every minute of it felt like a honest, comforting, laugh-out-loud acknolwedgement that friendship is messy, your 20s are messy, discovering your identity is messy. But that's okay! Pilcher has created characters and a story that centers around sex and relationships, but - refreshingly - the takeaway is that it's okay not to have sex (right now or ever) and true friendships are the most important thing you can have. Beth and Serena are flawed and relatable, and I loved being a part of their world for a little bit.

Things I appreciated: demi rep (first book I've read with this, really), the friendships, and the narration

At times it was cheesy and over-the-top. Messy, in a way people in their 20s can be, so that aspect could speak to a lot of people. Not sure it was what I was wanting in a story at the moment. Overall, worth a try if you like the concept!

First off, I LOVED getting to read a book with demi rep—it's not the first time I've encountered demisexuality in a book, but it's close to it, and that's something I've been really wanting to see more of. I also really liked getting to see a close friendship that wasn't romantic, even though their lives were super entangled and they were both queer (though in different ways). Overall, I wanted a little more in Serena's POV chapters, since it was dual-POV (I would have liked to see more of the relationship with Zoe developing on the page, for example) but since this was primarily Beth's story, it wasn't a super strong need. Overall I liked That's What She Said, and I really liked both the narrators.

The pushy friend who forget to ask what the other one actually wants to do and the friend who wants to try more, but doesn't know how to be the main character.

I'm a big re-reader of stories that I love, this is not one that I anticipate reading again. I wanted to love it. I liked the story, but the beginning felt slow and like too much. While that feeling does fit well with Beth's character, I felt like I was thrown into the middle of something without the right context or curiosity to dig myself out. As the book went on I did enjoy Beth's journey of exploration of her demi-sexuality. While I wanted to like Serena and Zoe, their relationship or lack there of felt as though we only saw the surface of it. And while I wanted to love Serena, she never fully grew on me.

I did enjoy how our two main characters met and their instant connection. Emotional intimacies and support in friendships are meaningful and I like seeing this aspect of their story.

I thought I knew what this book was going to be and man was I wrong. It ended up being a way deeper and a powerful story of where friendships go right and where they go wrong. How we can struggle with conflict resolution, independence, and feeling seen even by those we love deeply.

I really enjoyed the portrayal of demisexuallity and the nuance or people who understood and those who didn't. I also loved seeing a main character who was originally okay with something and then changed her mind later on.

Genre: Fiction, Romanceish (Romance storyline is more of a side plot)
Age: Adult
Tropes: Emotionally unavailable main character
Spice: Yes, a few scenes without much detail. Lots of talk about spice outside of when it is happening.
Themes: Conflict resolution, codependent friendships, exploring sexuality
Representation: Demisexuality, Bisexuality, Sapphic Relationship, Straight Relationship
Read For: Netgalley
Obtained From: Thanks to Harper Audio and Netgalley for the Advanced Listening Copy

I really loved the wide range of characters throughout the story.
That’s What She Says follows two roommates as they grow out of the college roomies they once were and settle into more adult lives and relationships. Beth and Serena live together in London and thrive on the way they compliment each other. Beth is more reserved, working on identifying the tenants of her demisexuality and Serena is sexually confident but unable to tell the woman she loves that she loves her. They balance each other out so when Beth decides she wants to take charge of her sex life, Serena is more than happy to help- no matter what that looks like.
The author easily navigated the different ways the characters experience intimacy and the various ways that it can look for people.
It was a really quick read, with relatable characters and great character growth throughout.

That’s What She Said is a messy exploration of female friendship, sexual identity, and the tangled web of your twenties—when everything feels both hilariously trivial and impossibly huge. Eleanor Pilcher’s debut brings something to the table, especially with its demisexual representation, but it doesn’t always land as smoothly as it aims.

Beth and Serena are polar opposites in all the best (and most frustrating) ways. Their platonic soulmate dynamic is the heart of the book, and Pilcher does a great job capturing the love, tension, and emotional growing pains that come with deep, long-term friendship. I appreciated how Beth’s demisexuality was explored with care—nuanced, never turned into a punchline, and treated as a valid, central part of her identity.

The audiobook performances by Robyn Holdaway and Ell Potter are energetic and engaging, with a strong sense of character. Holdaway, in particular, brings Beth’s vulnerability and wry humor to life with a subtle touch that feels grounded in real emotion.

That said, the tone of the book wobbles. Some of the humor feels juvenile, and the writing occasionally leans into a chaotic messiness that’s more exhausting than endearing. I found myself dragging through parts of the story—not because it was bad, but because it felt like I’d aged out of its target vibe. There’s plenty to like here, but if you’re no longer in your twenties or looking for tighter narrative structure, it might feel a bit too scattered.

Still, for younger listeners or those craving more demisexual rep in fiction, That’s What She Said offers a heartfelt, if uneven, experience. It’s a queer coming-of-age for the late bloomers—and sometimes, that's exactly what someone needs.

This was okay. It felt like something I had been through before.
The women are both quite immature, so it felt younger than they were.
Nice to see some representation on sexuality I haven't read before: demisexual.

I also did like the focus on friendship.

This is deeply rooted in cringe & it honestly works?!!

Came for the demisexuality rep, stayed bc these girls are hot messes & I couldn’t look away! This is cheesy, over the top, & incredibly witty.

If you read this, go into it with an open mind & know that it is a comedy of errors!! It’s suppose to be outrageous & funny.

That’s What She Said, is a riot & a delight of a time!

Thank you Harper Audio & NetGalley for the ALC in exchange for my honest review.

This one was simply not for me. There are lots of ways to be on the asexual spectrum and I was hoping for something more familiar to me and this simply wasn't it. Which is no comment on the author or authenticity - simply that it wasn't what I was particularly hoping for. Hope others find something good here.

What a party... scheming adults and naughty teens combine at Sophie's Sweet Sixteen. I was guessing who was going to be the one dead at the end for the whole book! It's gripping and fun.

3.5⭐ rounded up
Bethany is a demisexual virgin living in London with her free spirited bisexual roommate, Serena. After an awkward hen do (bachelorette party), Beth decides she's interested in learning more about sex. Serena goes all in, pitching Beth's sexual odyssey as an article for her job and comes up with all sorts of activities for Beth to try.

I struggled to connect with these characters, at least initially, but their conflict feels very true to life. Beth and Serena very much feel like an odd couple of roommates and best friends. I thought the dual narrators did a wonderful job. I also really appreciated the demisexual representation in this novel as I do not see a ton of it.

Thank you to Harper Audio Adult for an ARC on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. This book was published on 4/15/25.

This was such a fun enjoyable read! I cringed so hard I laughed and I laughed so hard I cried. The narrator did a wonderful job bringing the story to life! I appreciated the representation and discussion around being demisexual. The book did a wonderful job balancing being demisexual but was also extremely sexual. I also really enjoyed Beth and Serena though they both had their moments. I love reading about female friendships and this was an interesting take with the dynamic of a long term friendship and the article of sexual exploration. I found it fun and chaotic! The end made my heart warm. I highly recommend picking this up!

thank you to NetGalley, Eleanor Pilcher, and HarperAudio Adult for the audiobook of this book.
this book is a very fast paced book and the chapters are very quickly. while I don’t really relate to what the characters are going through I did love this story. I haven’t read anything like this before and it’s unique. Beth and Serena are both witty, they have a great friendship. This book had me hooked, I liked this story and the growth of the main characters. Beth and Serena both had a character growth that was strong, they learned more about themselves and their bodies, their feelings and each other. I loved listening to this and hearing the story in my ears while picturing the story.
This book is a 4 star read for me. I really enjoyed it!

This is how an cast for audiobook folks. The narrators chosen for That's What She said were perfect. In fact they knocked by rating up half a sat because they were so fantastic. Don't get me wrong, the story hold up on it's own, but the narration was so good.

Beth is a 28 year old demisexual virgin. Sex has never been appealing to her since she needs a deep emotional connection with someone before she can feel attraction. She is always worried that men won't find her worth the effort if they aren't having sex, so she rarely even tries to build relationships. Her best friend and housemate, Serena, couldn't be more different. Serena wears her sexually like a coat and considers it a defining part of who she is. However lately Serena is feeling drawn to just one person, Zoey, and is terrified about trying monogamy. When Beth decides she wants to find a relationship Serena is eager to help to avoid her growing romantic feelings towards Zoe. Together they embark on a sex odyssey which includes dilation, sex therapy, a male escort, and a tantric workshop. Tension builds between the two friends as Serena uses Beth's journey as a subject for an article she is writing and a way to avoid her own issues, instead of truly considering her friend's feelings and what she needs. Soon it become clear that while Beth's feelings about sex do not need to be fixed, their friendship might be beyond repair.

I have never read a book that was so sexual but not at all spicy. This was downright educational! I loved learning more about demisexuality, that representation was so enlightening and well presented. Beth was so vulnerable and relatable, I wanted to be her friend. Serena was a lot to handle sometimes but she is so multifaceted. It's easy to categorize her as just sexual or privileged, but we see enough of her backstory to know it's not that simple. The true love story in this is between the 2 FMCs. Even though they dabble in toxic codependency, they are each others rock and family and help the other belive in their worth.

DNFing at 15% in. This book is just not for me. Thought I would give it a try for something different. However, the characters are in their late 20s and act like insufferable immature teenagers which is just grating. The narrarator does a good job, but this story just lacks any kind of meaningful plot and will just have to leave for the ones that are into this kind of thing.

From the moment the “elevator muzak” began playing at the intro to the audiobook, I was convinced that this read would be cheesy and cringey, which is exactly what happened.

Though it’s exciting to see demisexual representation, this novel was not for me.

I absolutely Loved this twist on a romantic comedy. It’s filled with friendship and exploring sexuality and intimacy in various aspects of life. LOVED

👠🥡💖🥂💄

Beth and Serena are longtime best friends who fully embody the “opposites attract” stereotype. Beth is a reserved, people-pleasing demisexual, who’s never had sex and feels like she’s missing out on a key life experience because of it. On the other hand, Serena is a brash, confident life of the party bisexual who enjoys having casual sex but struggles with intimacy because of a tumultuous relationship with her parents. Together they embark on Beth’s “sexual odyssey”, a process meant to expose Beth to new, sex-related experiences while Serena chronicles each step.

Though their relationship was slightly toxic at times, both women clearly cared for each other and helped push the other out of their comfort zone. I found it interesting that Beth’s growth was slow and steady and progressed naturally over the course of the book, while Serena had more of a growth spurt that occurred towards the end, it felt very fitting for their personality types.

There was really great conversation around and information regarding women’s health, including dilation, sex toys, pap smears, sex therapy, tantra, etc. I also think the author did a fabulous job explaining and normalizing demisexuality, it always makes me happy to see characters representing the ace spectrum.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!! 🫶🏼

i was so thankful to get this book early from harper!! i loved getting to listen to this book as well, as it wasnt something i wouldve picked up otherwise!