Reading Full of Myself left me flooded with emotion - both gratitude and grief. Austin Channing Brown writes with breathtaking clarity and specificity while speaking to truths that are often glossed over in conversations about embodiment and healing. We hear a lot about the need for Black women to reconnect with our bodies but Austin dares to ask why we were forced to disconnect in the first place.

She reflects on the spiritual and emotional cost of working in predominantly white institutions as a DEI professional, and the moments of rupture that ultimately led her to choose herself, not just in theory, but in daily practice. A moment that sticks with me is her reflection on being fired from a job she gave everything to: “Because I had agreed to their rules, and I was slowly losing myself.” That turning point becomes a portal toward reclaiming joy, asking for help, and embracing the sacredness of her own body and needs. I can relate, as I know so many Black women can, to the experience of self-abandonment to secure a sense of professional safety and belonging where there is none.

From the raw truths of Black motherhood to the liberating act of skinny-dipping, Austin gives us a roadmap to self-possession and reminds us that it is a powerful tool for our own survival and joy practice. Full of Myself is a declaration of freedom and a guide for Black women who are learning to stop shrinking and start breathing again.

I hesitate to give this anything lower than a 4 but I feel like 3.75/4 is where I’m at. This was my first Brown and I definitely think I’ll revisit her previous work.

I feel like I expected something different from what was advertised. This feels more like a memoir with vignettes of her life as Black girl going into Black womanhood. I’m not sure how much of this, I feel, completely explores what it means to self-possess as a Black woman in America. She definitely touches on that but I feel as though Brown could’ve definitely went farther.

The sense that I get is self-possession for Black women is a liberatory and revolutionary act in a world that demands we use our bodies and lives to defeat whiteness. And I agree with that but I feel like I wanted more from this book as a whole. I’m not sure how you truly capture what self-possession can look like for Black womanhood during these times in a book that’s less than 300 pages, that feels more like a memoir.

So, I feel like something, for me, as a Black womanhood, is missing in this but I still think this should be read widely. I do think Brown brings up such a salient point when she says that so much of our existence is seen as an antithesis to whiteness and people see us as a cudgel and that gets exhausting. We are not here to be white people’s lesson. And I deeply agree with that.

Anyways, I still think everyone should read this even though I desired more from it.