Margot’s life is life a treadmill, running the restaurant with her husband Johnny, the days are rinse and repeat. Then she receives an email (letter) from her best friend over 20 years ago but Tess died 20 years ago from ovarian cancer. She never visited Tess when Tess returned to England as promised as Margot fell hard for Johnny and here she still is all those years ago.
So here’s a chance, Tess wants her to come to London and together with Leo Tess’s best friend from childhood, they are to follow a sort of scavenger hunt.
I really enjoyed this book, it slowly unfolds Tess’s life as it was and events that affected her. It becomes a time of reflection for both Margot and Leo and I’m sure Tess as she wrote this.
I could feel Margot’s anger as she she read those letters and the judgement of her past decisions.
Margot wonders if she ever really knew Tess.
A time of growth, setting boundaries and finding what you really want in life.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy to read.

I opened this book expecting to enjoy it – having enjoyed Dettman’s work in the past – and was delighted to close it with the sense that I’d just read one of the better books I’ve come across in the recent past.

Margot is incredibly surprised to receive a letter from her best friend Tess, mainly because although they used to write often, Tess has been dead for 20 years. Tess has an enticing offer for Margot – the chance to take the trip to London that she never quite made with Tess, on condition that she fulfill Tess’ last requests.

That seems simple enough – scatter Tess’ ashes and do a few small things with Tess’ stepbrother. Margot is exhausted – physically overworked, emotionally overdrawn in her marriage, and generally bored with her draining too busy life. It doesn’t take much to get her to agree to leave it all for a couple of weeks.

The novel went in some truly unexpected directions while feeling absolutely emotionally true. It’s not precisely life affirming, but I did feel that it affirms people’s ability to make the right choices for them, whatever it looks like to others.

The characters are strong – Margot in particular is someone that most readers will empathise with. She’s at a point where she needs to consider if she wants to keep living the life she’s chosen to date, or if she wants to upend it all for something different. A lot of people think about this choice in mid-life, and readers will understand why she’s pulled towards both choices. She’s a very real character with genuine dilemmas.

Tess also emerges as a strong character, albeit that we see her only through her letters and Margot’s memories. We understand her motivations, too. The men in their lives – Margot’s husband, Tess’ stepbrother – take longer to connect with the reader, but they too are strong and human characters. We understand why Margot’s choices are not easy.

There’s a strong but subtle commentary on all kinds of relationships, and on the importance of communicating well within those relationships. This isn’t a new theme, but it’s handled with sensitivity and honesty, and a dash of humor.

I quietly loved this novel, finding it both thoughtful and insightful while also being just plain fun to read. It made me stop and think, it made me feel a range of emotions, and it left me on a really positive note. Highly recommended.

Margot is 42, with the same career and husband she had 20 years ago when her best friend Tess died. Out of the blue, she receives a letter from Tess, which asks her to fly to London and undertake a series of tasks. It's sort of a treasure hunt in the company of Tess's step-brother Leo. They get revenge on those who wronged Tess, and give her ashes some of the experiences she missed out on.
I liked the concept, but it was also a bit unbelievable. I kept wondering why Tess would think 20 years later was a good time for this. I liked the characters, but I didn't love them. I'm not sure we really got to know them beyond the surface level. The writing was fine. Overall, a good easy read but not hugely memorable.
I give this 3.5 stars, but have rounded up because I really liked the ending - it was a bit of a surprise when I had been convinced I was certain where it was going.

4.5 stars

I stayed up ‘til 1am because I couldn’t put this book down. Just when I thought this book would zig as predicted, it totally zagged in a very unexpected way. It was so thought provoking and had me thinking about it because of the way Jessica Dettman threw some of the expected storytelling conventions on its ear. It had me ruminating on how in our 20s we have a more rigid outlook on life, that are likely to have softened or changed over time in our 40s, something Tess never got to experience after her life was cut short at 24.

I loved how Margot is forced to finally start dealing with harsh truths about her life through Tess’s letters instead of just letting life pass her by without making any real chocies. And boy did those letters pack a gut punch as Tess slowly reveals her secrets, but also some blunt judgements for both Margot and Leo. As we get to the end of their adventure, the story then takes an unexpected turn and while I was a bit disappointed, it also felt like a nice twist and made sense. However, I think this was resolved later than it should've been because **spoiler**we saw no work on the part of that character given how much was given up for them. **spoiler** and needed more time to see this be unpacked more. Especially because pacewise it lagged a bit in the middle, so I think this could've been tightened up a bit earlier to allow for the resolution to happen a bit earlier. I also would’ve also liked more of Leo and how the letters impacted on his future in the wake of his divorce.

An utterly compelling, poignant look at the messiness of our life versus how we thought our life would be in our 20s. Highly recommended.

Thanks to Allen & Unwin for the ARC

4 Stars

Jessica Dettmann really has a way of taking me on a journey, frustrating me with the female main character and then having it all work out satisfyingly in the end. This was no exception.

Was it heartfelt? Yes. Did I question why Margot seemed to have no self-respect half the time? Yes. I was feeling like Tess in her letters throughout - frustrated by how much it seemed Margot has sacrificed of her dreams to cater to Johnny, missing out on her own life and then settling for someone who wasn’t even loyal. The open relationship (though that’s hardly what it was) made me want to crawl out of my skin I was so frustrated. BUT - the story took us on a journey and as much as it made Margot question herself, I also had to take a step back and reconsider.

And when I did I enjoyed my experience all the more.

Whilst the story was sometimes predictable and nothing necessarily out of the box, it was sweet and engaging and had a good time with it. I was always engaged, I connected to the story and its characters and I was invested in wanting to see Margot (and Leo) end up happily in the end.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me a copy of the earc - this is my honest review*

📕 ASH’S RATING: 5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Vibes: Warm and Fuzzies, Grief With A Side of Lol’s, Heartfelt

- - -
I was lucky enough to get an early peek at Your Friend and Mine and the moment I finished it, I wanted to flip back to page one and start all over again. This is the kind of book you hug when you’re done.

This book was adorable and full of heart. It was not just heartfelt but heart warming and at times, a little heart breaking.

Little plot spoiler - the story follows two friends who receive a series of letters containing the dying wishes of someone they’ve lost 20 years earlier and from that point on, it’s a beautiful unraveling of friendship, grief, self reflection and second chances and how death can influence our decisions, our views and our life paths.

This all sounds very heavy but the messaging was delivered in a light, thoughtful and genuinely uplifting way. Jessica strikes a perfect balance between emotional depth and sharp, sparkling humour. I went from tearing up to snort laughing (actual snorts, not just a figure of speech it’s a vibe 😅) more times than I could count.

The writing was warm and wise and I found myself deeply invested in the journeys of Margot, Tess and Leo.

Your Friend and Mine is a reminder that life is messy, grief is complicated and friendship is everything and it tells that story in the most entertaining and heartwarming way, proving a story can be both hilarious and healing.

Big love to Allen & Unwin and NetGalley for the early access. This one’s going straight on my favourites list.

Loved this book so much!!

Tess sends Margot on a mission, 20 years after she passed away, to see London - which she never got to after her gap year. Across London she gives Margot different activities to do to reconnect with her and to get her thinking about her own life.

Think wholesome personal growth story with a side of new friendship and experience. It has a couple of dark moments as we learn about who Tess truly was, and what the meaning of friendship is.

I loved it. It was so beautifully written!

Margot is shocked when she receives an email from her best friend Tess who passed away twenty years ago. Tess was an English backpacker visiting Sydney when they met and became fast friends. They even made plans for Margot to follow Tess back overseas when she returned to England. However, these plans never came to fruition as Margot fell in love and never made it over.

Now Tess is giving Margot the chance to fly to London and perhaps live out some of the adventures that they might have had. There is just one thing… Tess has left behind a series of letters, each containing a task that Margot must complete while she is there… with Tess’s step brother Leo.

This book is so beautifully written, engaging and thought-provoking. It explores how friendships and moments in time can impact one’s life and views of the world. Margot and Leo embark on a journey of not only learning more about Tess, but about themselves and reflecting on where their current lives are at.

I enjoyed reading Your friend and Mine, as it was incredibly heartfelt and at times gut-wrenching. There were moments in this book that were not easy to read, but it really encompasses the imperfections that humans face in life and the challenges in growth and being able to move forward.

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Allen & Unwin and Jessica Dettman for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book might have one of my favourite first lines ever. I was immediately hooked. Jessica Dettmann is the queen of one-line zingers. She's such an engaging and funny writer.

I really, really loved "Your Friend and Mine." It was kind of like "PS, I Love You", but for friendship. I can't wait to get this for the bookshop and start recommending it to people.

My favourite part of this book was the ending, which at first sounds strange but it was the way Jessica Dettmann bought things together and concluded what had been a story with multiple threads that left me with a sense of deeper fulfilment. This is a whirlwind of a story in many respects because although she has been dead for 20 years, Tess manages to turn the lives of both Margot and Leo upside down as she sends them on a series of mini quests to undertake together in London.

This is a novel filled with contemplation and questioning; and one of learning a lot more about both their friend Tess and about themselves as Leo and Margot face judgement from Tess and personal introspection as they reflect on how they arrived at their current state in life.

I was reminded recently of the story of the blind men and the elephant and how nobody really has the whole story of everything and instead just has a small part which means we can’t truly know what is going on for others … and in this book Tess makes a lot of assumptions that anger Margot even when at times they hold some truth. Margot and Leo also learn a lot more of what Tess went through during her life including some horrific moments that she dealt with mostly alone.

The concept behind the book is extremely clever and makes for great reading, i just found i was getting annoyed with the characters at times which is actually a great gift in an author to promote such a strong emotional response! I am definitely looking forward to reading more books by Jessica Dettmann! Meanwhile, i’m thankful to Allen & Unwin and Netgalley for letting me read an advanced copy in exchange for my review.

This is due for publication on 1st July 2025 and is bound to have a wonderful response.

Your Friend and Mine by Jessica Dettmann is a gem of a novel about the friendships that shape us, sliding doors moments, and grief—an unlikely trio on paper, but in Dettman’s hands, it’s a warm, witty, and winning combination.

The first line had me instantly hooked: “When Margot saw the email from Tess, she was so surprised she forgave her friend for having been dead for the past twenty years.” From the moment Margot met English backpacker Tess at the Aussie pub where they both worked in 2000, she’d never encountered anyone quite like her. Their friendship was intense and all-consuming. When Tess returned to England, they made plans for Margot to follow shortly after and start a new life together. But everything changed when Margot met the charismatic Johnny. She stayed in Australia, built a life with him, and never made the move.

Now, two decades later, Tess—through a series of ten letters and adventures left behind—gives Margot the chance to explore the life she might have had, alongside Tess’s charming stepbrother, Leo.

As someone who loves a good sliding doors premise, I was completely drawn in by the exploration of how formative friendships can alter the trajectory of our lives. Especially reading this as a 44-year-old, I appreciated the poignant reflections on choice, identity, and the paths not taken. I loved watching Margot rediscover parts of herself through Tess’s letters, and the chemistry with Leo added a lovely emotional layer. The novel also raises the compelling question: Is the life I’m leading really the one I want?

While I found the ending a little underwhelming, I understood the intention behind it. Still, the journey more than made up for it.

If you’re after a read that’s funny, heartfelt, and full of memorable characters, I highly recommend Your Friend and Mine.

Big thanks to NetGalley and Allen & Unwin for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I have really enjoyed some of Jessica Dettman’s novels in the past and this was no exception. It revolves around Tess and Margot who had been friends 20 years ago when Tess was visiting Sydney. Tess went home to London and died of cancer at a very young age. On the 20th anniversary of her death Margot is contacted about a quest that Tess has left for her, ten letters, each containing an experience that she wanted Margot to undertake. She wants Margot to go to London, meet up with Tess’ half brother Leo and follow her instructions. Margot is at a crossroads in her life and decides to take up the challenge. I enjoyed this novel very much. Thanks to Allen & Unwin and Netgalley for an ARC of this novel

I’ve read other books by this author and have enjoyed them, so when I found out that she has a new book being released, I was eager to read it.
The story centres around Margot, who is married to Johnny and runs a restaurant with him. She receives an email from her best friend Tess…but Tess has been dead for twenty years. The two met when Tess was holidaying in Sydney and they formed a strong relationship quickly. They made a pact to travel to London together but things didn’t go as planned.
Margot met Johnny and she focused on their relationship. Tess went back home and she was diagnosed with cancer in her early twenties.
It turns out that before Tess passed away, she came up with a list of tasks for Margot to complete, along with Tess’s step-brother Leo. Tess requests that Margot head to London, where they had planned on travelling together all those years ago.
She requests that Margot and Leo scatter her ashes in various places and complete tasks she has set out for them. When Margot gets to London, she’s unprepared for the range of emotions she feels - guilt at not ever getting to London when Tess was alive, frustrated at her current life situation with Johnny, sadness for the loss of her best friend, and fear at being stuck in the life she is living.
I didn’t like the character of Margot initially but warmed to her somewhat as the story progressed. This was a great read and I enjoyed the challenges that Tess had set out for Margot and Leo. Well worth a read.