Six to carry the casket and one to say the mass is a brilliant, funny, and deeply moving book that stayed with me long after I finished it. Bill Hulseman writes with a rare mix of wit, vulnerability, and sharp observation as he explores queer identity, Catholicism, grief, and the messy search for belonging. This is a book that makes you laugh, reflect, and feel seen—all at once. A stunning debut that I can’t recommend enough.

This memoir is a heartfelt, thoughtful collection of essays that reflect on identity, grief and how we keep going after loss. Blending personal stories with reflections on tradition, religion, and self-discovery, the author explores how mourning can transform us without offering neat conclusions.

The writing is poetic but down-to-earth, and while the essay format feels a bit disjointed at times, it mirrors the messy, looping process of grief itself. It’s deep, emotional, and best suited for readers who appreciate reflective, non-linear storytelling.

This book isn't for everyone, but it definitely has its audience.

Reading six to carry the casket and one to say the mass felt like sitting with one of my gay friends and just listening to their life story—funny, emotional, deep, and super real. I’m a straight guy, but so much of what Bill writes about family, expectations, and trying to figure out who you are hit close to home. Some parts reminded me of things my friends have gone through, especially around religion and being accepted. It made me appreciate them even more. This book is honest, raw, and actually hilarious at times. Totally worth the read, no matter who you are.

His essays are sharp and reflective, but also surprisingly funny and hopeful. I like how relatable his search for meaning feels, even if our details differ. He doesn’t force a conclusion. Whether you’re wrestling with faith, family, or just figuring out how to live more truthfully, this book will move you. It’s a rare thing: raw but generous, personal but widely resonant. I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

Thoughtful, Honest, and Deeply Human

Six to Carry the Casket and One to Say the Mass is a heartfelt collection of reflections that invites readers to pause and examine the deeper layers of identity, grief, spirituality, and growth. Bill Hulseman writes with clarity and vulnerability, drawing from personal experiences in a way that feels both intimate and universally relatable.. The tone is reflective without being heavy-handed, offering insights that feel earned rather than imposed. Hulseman's background in education and faith-based work subtly shapes the narrative, but the book never preaches. Instead, it opens a conversation....one that lingers long after the final page.

If you’ve ever felt pulled between who you were raised to be and who you are now, this book is a beautiful companion on that path. His reflections on family, faith, queerness, and becoming hit home with raw honesty and quiet strength. As someone who grew up Catholic and now carries a more complex relationship with the Church, I found his spiritual reflections moving and relatable. Reading Bill Hulseman’s Six to Carry the Casket and One to Say the Mass felt like being seen in ways I didn’t expect. What struck me most was how he balances vulnerability with hope. His essays don’t just reveal who he is; they invite you to consider who you are becoming. My son and I had a long conversation after I finished the book—about identity, legacy, and truth-telling. That’s a rare gift from any book.

This would be a great gift.

Six to Carry the Casket and One to Say the Mass is a deeply reflective and engaging read. Bill's personal essays offer a candid look at his life, identity, and the impact of his experiences. The way he explores the intersection of family dynamics, identity, and culture is both thoughtful and relatable. I really appreciated how the book made me think about my own journey and the choices that have shaped my life. If you're looking for something introspective and meaningful, this book is definitely worth checking out!

Great book, those of us who grew up Catholic in New York -- not Chicago -- understand so much of what the author describes in vivid detail. It will be VERY difficult for any reader to put this book down. Be prepared to read, and please beg the publisher and author for a sequel. Wow, this book is entertaining, strikes chords with me deeply, and if you know religious studies, music (Gershwin especially) and Chicago, this book is for Y-O-U. This book deserves a re-read and recommendation to so many religious institutions. Congratulations, looking forward to holding a hard copy for that re-read.