I think people, especially my students, are so used to thinking of AI and technology as being good and useful that they haven't considered how it is actually being used already to negatively affect them. This is both well-researched and timely!

I found this one horrifyingly interesting. It was difficult to read in the sense that it triggered every fear I have for my own daughters, but written in such an engaging and accessible style that it was easy to take in, even if the digestion of the material caused me some not insignificant heartburn and anxiety!

(Content warnings: deepfake porn, sexual violence, online harassment, incel rhetoric)

This is not a light read. It is not fun. It is not comforting. But it is so, so important.

I read this over a few days and I felt physically sick more than once. The statistics, the real stories, the implications for our future—it’s terrifying. And what makes it scarier is that it’s not written dramatically or for shock value. It’s calm. It’s measured. It’s factual. Which only makes it hit harder.

This book is a deep dive into the ways AI and emerging tech are not just reflecting but reinventing misogyny—often invisibly, and often with no one held accountable. But this isn’t anti-tech. It’s not saying “shut it all down.” It’s saying we must do better. That we can do better.

If you work in tech, AI, data science, product, policy—or just exist on the internet—you need to read this. This is a wake-up call.

I genuinely believe everyone should read this when it comes out in August. Especially if you think this stuff doesn’t affect you. Because honestly? I thought I had a handle on most of it. I didn’t.

This one’s going to sit with me for a long, long time.

This was an excellent read! With how popular AI has gotten in recent years, I’ve been learning more about the different potential issues that surround it. This book is an excellent primer (and honestly a deep dive) into how AI perpetuates the innate sexism women have had to deal with since the age of the Internet began. This should be required reading, as it also covers a lot of systemic sexism women experience offline as well, that I think a lot of people (especially men) don’t fully understand. I haven’t heard of Laura Bates before, but I will definitely be keeping my eye out for her future works and looking into anything else she’s written. I highly recommend this to literally everyone! I’ll definitely be adding this to my physical library upon publication.

Thank you for the digital copy!

This isn’t the first book by this author I read and it will definitely not be the last either. As much as I’ve enjoyed every one of those books (and see value in all of them), “Men who hate women” was my absolute favourite. Because it’s hard to find books about feminism nowadays that actually talk about feminism. It might sound crazy but the majority of those books read more like self-help to me than a feminist work. I could admit some are a good read for beginners when it comes to this topic but I am far from that so it’s books that are well-researched and teach me about things I either don’t know or I don’t know everything about that I crave. Or maybe I’m not looking for those book at the right places, I don’t know.
That’s why when I saw this new book, I knew I had to read it. And the moment I got this early copy, I downloaded it and devoured it. Though this isn’t the kind of book one reads super fast. It’s a read a chapter at a time kind of book but I was so anxious to learn all this new information. And I learned a lot.

The thing about AI and technology in general is that I feel most people don’t really know that much about it. A lot of things we might hear about it sound more like a sci-fi movie/book plot to us than reality. So reading this book was eye-opening in the scariest way. I had watched the movie Ex Machina, mentioned in the book, and never felt like that was something that could happen anytime soon. Or something that anyone other than the very (very) rich could afford. It turns out I was wrong.

Something I loved about “Men who hate women” is that, as previously mentioned, it was a well-researched book. The author tried to show examples from different countries and talk about how different cultures play a big part in these topics too. It’s so often that we focus on what is around us only, which is natural too. And we only see things from the perspective of how this would affect us and not how it could affect someone from a different country, culture, religion, etc… I appreciate how the author does that job of reminding us to take that into account. It’s also so hard to keep up with what happens all over the world.

I feel like for most people, the topics of deepfakes or revenge porn are the most familiar to us. The case of what happened in Almendralejo (Spain) is one I was very aware of because that’s my home country and I follow what happens there more. And yet this book contained so much information about how AI and technology as a whole have turned this into a much bigger problem for girls and women than it already was. But I now also have that knowledge to share with others when chatting about this, since all of us can be affected by these attacks. So that’s why this book is not only informative but also can educate a lot of people. I already felt that way with “Men who hate women” but I’ll say it again. We need books like these ones as part of the required reads in high schools and universities. We always say educating men and women (but mostly men, for obvious reasons) from a young age is key when it comes to fighting the misogyny, racism or homophobia that has poisoned our society. What better way than to use a book like this one as a tool to achieve that? I really feel that way. Problem is, many teachers aren’t willing to do so.

A huge part of this book centres around AI being used to satisfy men and their sexual needs. Whether it is through virtual reality or with sex robots. This part was so hard to read and it has to be hard to read. The way we keep dehumanising women makes me lose the little faith I have in humanity. And reading how the author went through such a hard time researching these topics was heartbreaking to read. And to imagine. I tried to imagine it was me having to do that and I don’t believe I’m strong enough to do it.
Going back to how for most people this is something they don’t know about (also because those who do this hide it due to shame probably) or believe it sounds like a movie, I thought a lot about the movie Companion while reading those chapters. And it made me appreciate the movie even more because it criticises those who are willing to buy a sex robot and use this technology. The main male character uses very clear incel language, so the social commentary isn’t subtle but why should it be? It’s pretty obvious that most people need things to be spelt out for them. Subtlety won’t help.
Iris, the robot in the movie, isn’t aware that she’s a robot so she is willing to do whatever her owner tells her to do (but won’t accept being abused by anyone else). That’s basically what we can read about in this book with all of these robots and avatars that are 100% submissive because that’s how men want them to be. The main character of this movie can even control the level of intelligence the robot has and keeps it lower than 50% so she can never become smart enough to realise what’s being done to her. So I just imagined Iris whenever I was reading about all the robots and avatars the author mentioned in this book. Putting a face to the fake women made it feel even more real and therefore more painful.

Still on this topic, I appreciate that there is an acknowledgement that we have a loneliness epidemic and that we need more mental health support to be able to thrive. We lack third spaces and going through a pandemic didn’t help. Men suffer from this a lot as well and it must be mentioned. But, of course, women can’t be the ones punished for that. Because we can feel lonely too and don’t use that as an excuse to hurt men.
It’s good to read about the empathy the author has because I lack it sometimes.

Something that bothered me was the use of “politically correct” language. I refuse to call it woke language because I’m not that kind of person. I understand why it is used here but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. The author tells us she won’t sugarcoat things because we need to see reality as it is. And I agree. I read the news, I know how hard the situation is for women worldwide. I don’t need someone holding my hand while telling me about these topics. So that’s why the inclusion of expressions such as “sex worker” bothers me so much. Because when the author tells us to change “revenge porn” to “image based abuse”, I see the point. We’re taking back the concept and making it sound like what it is, which is a crime. Saying that something is revenge obviously puts the blame on the victim because what did she do to provoke that need for an act of revenge? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
However, when we call someone a “sex worker”, or in the case of Only Fans a “content creator”, we fall into the trap that men set. By calling it work, we remove the abusive aspect from the words. Even while quoting a prostitute who calls herself a prostitute, the author insists on calling her a sex worker. I agree that we need to protect these women and that’s why I fight against recent laws approved in Spain against sexual abuse or assault that basically say prostitutes cannot be raped. Those laws, unsurprisingly, were approved by those who love saying “sex workers” (not so typical in Spain to say that, people tend to just use the translation for prostitute or, sadly, slurs). Because thinking they are just regular workers normalises the abuse they suffer. It’s just a job, isn’t it? You can get hurt doing many jobs. But no…it’s not just a job, it’s not the oldest job in the world, … this way of talking only protects the men abusing women. So I can’t get behind it.
But the author is from the UK. And as someone who lives between Spain and the UK, I get it. English-speaking countries worry more about using the right words than about victims. So I know there’s no malice behind the use of those words but I just can’t read them without feeling a rejection towards what’s on the page in front of my eyes. However, I won’t let that take away from the value of the information written in this book. I just hope we get better about this as a society in the future.

Once again, I’m so happy this book exists and I’ll be recommending it to a lot of people. It’s so necessary to spread awareness about what’s going on because AI is taking over our lives. And it’s scary.

This was an absolute time of a read. I think I was lost for part of the book, but outside of that, the book was interesting to see how it truly unfolded. I was intrigued with the premise of this book and it did not let me down, it kept me intrigued start to finish.