This is BY FAR the best autobiography I have ever read! Wow, wow, wow, words escape me!

I laughed, I cried, I felt seen in a way I didn't believe was even possible, I grieved and I fell head over heels in love with this book. Wow, this book and its beautiful author deserve all the praise!

While I think the topic/subject of this memoir is very important and necessary, I personally couldn’t get into this. The writing was a bit too disjointed for me and I couldn’t get into this.

"sorry i keep crying during sex" by Jesse James Rose is a genre-bending, emotional whiplash, gay as fuck memoir and I truly loved every minute of it.

There are a few central threads we're following in the memoir, James's breakup with her first love, the aftermath of being raped, caretaking for her grandfather who has dementia, and the impact 9/11 had on James (this last one seems random, but it does make sense when you read it, I promise). Interwoven between these central themes are accounts of sexual encounters James experiences after the breakup with her boyfriend and after beng raped.

The style of writing is extremely conversational and, at times, verges into stream of consciousness, and that doesn't mean it's not good writing. There are parts of the book where the stream of consciousness exacerbates the anxiety that James (and therefore the reader) feels towards particular situations. Additionally, I believe that James may have drawn inspiration from one of my favorite queer memoirs, "In the Dream House" by Carmen Maria Machado, as there's a sequence at the end of the book that's reminiscent of a "choose your own adventure" format Carmen uses in her memoir. James is directing the reader to jump to different sections of the book as she oscillates between the fever-dream scenarios in which she envisions confronting her rapist, paralleled with the monotony and routine of caring for her grandfather.

These scenes, in particular, where James imagines confronting her rapist, stuck with me because I felt really *seen*. Wrestling with complex emotions about your rapist is something that I don't think is talked about enough. There are already so many stigmas about rape (what were you wearing, are you sure you said no, etc.) that it makes nuance so difficult because it calls into question the belieability of said rape.

This book is for readers who will not shy away from:
- really detailed sexual encounters (tbh I learned a lot about different kinds of sex, kinks, etc., and that was genuinely interesting to me)
- 9/11 jokes
- accounts of caretaking for a loved one, which were frankly difficult to read at times
- the roller coaster of emotions and triggers that come after being raped

Overall, this memoir made me laugh, made me tear up at the gym, and when I put it down, I couldn't stop thinking about it until I picked it up again. James is an incredibly vulnerable and likeable narrator, and I'm excited for more folks to pick up this book.

James, if you're reading this, thank you for sharing so much of yourself with strangers! That's really brave, and I appreciate you! <3

dnf at 6% lolll. obviously i can’t comment on this book’s substance but it’s very much written like the author’s stream of consciousness and i realized quickly that it is not for me. the small bit that i did read felt like one long sentence, and i can’t with the constant jumping from topic to topic. this isn’t necessarily a critique on the book’s writing style, it’s just not for me!! much love to the author

This is one of the wildest memoirs I’ve ever read. It’s shockingly honest, queer as hell (a big surprise, I know), witty, snarky, heartbreaking, dark, bold, and gut wrenching. Rose’s candor is both refreshing and devastating as she weaves her story and recounts some of her most traumatic moments. As always, dear reader, please check the trigger warnings and make sure that this is the right time and right novel for you.

Rose’s story bounces between recalling her relationship that ended poorly, acting as a caretaker to her ill grandfather, remembering 9/11 (with added layers of trauma), trying to navigate love, sex, assault, and everything in between as she comes to terms with her own gender identity and her existence as a nonbinary trans-femme. She uses a lot of Grindr screenshots, makes lists, writes scripts, and even has a choose your own adventure loop (which was tricky for me to navigate since ARCs don’t have accurate page numbers), which switched up the pace, keeps the novel flying by, and really lets her inner conflicts and beautiful hilarity shine.

Overall, it was a very difficult read, but a very important one as well. I’m grateful to the author for her vulnerability. I’ve been a follower of her online content for a while and am glad to have had the opportunity to read her debut. Thanks to Abram’s Press for the complimentary advance copy via NetGalley.

This reads like a chaotic trauma dump and that's just not for me. Trauma dumping right off the bat was also a massive turn off, I don't mind reading about trauma, but throwing the reader right into it is quite jarring and for me, not something I want, I'd rather be given a chapter or two to get to know the writing style and character(s).

I understand that many queer people experience a lot of trauma and pain, but dumping it all out right off the bat and letting it pile up until it makes you sick? I have no interest in reading anything like that. Queer people are more than our trauma, and allowing the trauma to consume us and allow it to b ethe only thing we write about is also traumatizing. It shows so many younger queer folk that they are doomed to trauma, which isn't true. We need more stories about hope and found family. I understand that this is a memoir but this is not how I would suggest to start this off.

The writing is also incredibly chaotic. The "-> turn to section xx" was an unnecessary thing that I wasn't interested in participating in. If I have to flip around while reading, no thanks.


I personally won't be posting this review this elsewhere.

I have been so excited to read this because I've been following the author for several years now. It was very interesting, and I think the only thing that didn't really work in the advanced copy format was the "turn to page xx" section, so I ended up reading that page by page instead of flipping back and forth as the author intended which probably didn't have the same effect. Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

Wow. Rose's prose is so raw and intimate, this memoir often feels like a long overdue phone call to your best friend. It's also a Nanette style stand up routine, a slam poetry piece, a Black Mirror episode, and a lecture on 9/11 and the philosophy of violence. Rose's experimental style can take you off guard, and I beg you to let it. I've never read a memoir like this before, and I too hope there aren't many more written. I expect to see great things in Rose's future.

This was absolutely 5 stars. I love nothing more than a chaotic queer memoir!!!!! This is full of sexual exploration in the aftermath of Jesse’s life forever changing (check TW) dark humor (check TW) trauma (again check TW!!!!) love, loss and transformation.
Jesse’s writing style is so all over the place and i absolutely loved it. It felt like my adhd ridden brain going 927372 miles a minute.
Honestly, am I wrong to say this book was sexy!?! but also traumatizing!?! and bc it was traumatizing I felt guilty at times that I was thinking it was sexy!?!?!!?!! but I truly think that’s the whole point. The duality of living & healing is the highs and lows, the pleasure & the pain. The sex & the tears that follow. Life and death and the whole road in between. I laughed and I cried and I was turned on, all while being incredibly heartbroken for Jesse and everything she went through. And finally my last thought (finnegan count your days don’t let me catch you in the STREETS) can’t wait to buy this when it comes out!

3 ⭐️ Thank you to Abram’s Press and NetGalley for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Have you ever just wanted to step into someone’s brain and see and feel what they feel?! This author did exactly that, almost to the extreme. They did not hold back which left me speechless, moved, and with so many emotions.

I think if you’re going to write a memoir it should feel authentic and true. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and willing to share on such a sensitive topic. Your words will help so many people!

I look forward to what this author has in store for the future!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publishers for allowing me to read an advanced copy of this book.

Where do I start? The rawness of this memoir took my breath away. I will admit the format was somewhat hard to follow in the beginning but once I got past that and started to get into the actual book the more hooked I became. It had me laughing and crying throughout. A genuinely good read.

I do not know how to review this. Jesse James Rose wrote an incredibly raw and powerful memoir.
This memoir was emotional
Funny
Heartbreaking
Honest
Rose has an absolute incredible voice and is incredibly talented. She writes with a strong voice that you can’t look away from.
This memoir follows so many parts of the authors life and she frequently intertwines them in a way that makes them even more impactful to read. Whether its about their grandfather’s Alzheimer’s, her ex boyfriend, their molestation or their rape, Rose keeps the readers engaged. This memoir was not what I expected, but it was what I needed. I do not think this should have to be said as it should be common sense, but listen to trans voices, listen to rape victims, but most of all, listen to the people around you. Jesse James Rose’s memoir was written incredibly well
And her story is so important. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with the world.
I recommend this novel to anyone. However there are very dark things that are mentioned like rape, misgendering, transphobia, molestation and more. Read with caution.

This was such an incredible book. I was a little nervous when I started reading and was met with an unconventional, not-quite-prose narrative style, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Not only does the book end up being largely prose (along with text messages, screenplay excerpts, and a variety of other styles), but it’s beautifully written, darkly hilarious, and incredibly poignant. Rose does an excellent job exploring their experiences with heart, humor, and raw honesty.

Definitely check trigger warnings before reading. I look forward to seeing more work by this author in the future.

I vaguely knew Jesse James Rose from TikTok, having seen various videos she's made and really appreciated her nuanced perspective and ability to take feedback. I asked for an arc of this book because I thought the title was clever and the cover was cool, and went into it pretty blind. I thought this was a fantastic book, and it made me cry at several points. I am deeply moved by Rose's experience, the way she uses humor to bring joy into a very intense and dark set of experiences. The experimental nature of this book made me so happy, and I thought it was a really cool type of memoir. I hope she keeps writing, and I am excited for the release of this book, and whatever she writes in the future. Thank you for your wisdom Jesse.

I will admit that at first, it was hard to follow the format of this book, but the more I read, the more I was able to follow along. And I’m sorry if my understanding is far from what the author wants the readers to take away—but hey, I’m being really honest here, I promise!

Reading this book feels like diving straight into someone’s stream of consciousness, and honestly, I relate to it a lot. That feeling of the voices in your head speaking too loudly—at each other, to each other, or even against each other—it can get overwhelming. And I could feel that through this book.

Some parts hit me so hard I had to stop and take a moment to breathe, fighting back tears, because if I let myself cry mid-chapter, I knew I’d struggle to keep going. I’m sorry, guys, I’m such a crybaby sometimes.

Anyway, the content was tough—not because I’m squeamish or anything like that, but because the delivery was so raw and honest. It tugged at something deep in me, and as someone who's still kind of new to dealing with emotions this heavy, I found myself wincing once or twice.

However, I think that’s also what made it so powerful. It didn’t sugarcoat anything. It didn’t try to package pain into something pretty or easy to digest. It just laid it all out, unfiltered. And while that made it challenging to read, it also made it feel real. Like someone was saying, “Here, this is what it’s like,” and trusting me enough to handle it.

Thank you, NetGalley and the publisher, for granting me this ARC. As I said before, here’s my honest review.