This is a really interesting book about a subject that is probably not discussed nearly as often as it should be, or at least wasn't by women of my generation. I was a bit on the older side when I finally met my husband and had my children (36 and 38 when they were born), and it was always my greatest desire to have children, so I was absolutely thrilled and grateful to have them. However, I'll admit I used to be a little judgmental about women who didn't want children, but as soon as I had mine, I changed my mind and came to believe that it is perfectly valid to not want children and that it is such an overwhelming change of life that no one who isn't sure should feel at all pressured. I was also fortunate to have generous maternity leave benefits and be able to resume my career part-time while my children were young; had I not been able to keep my own identity apart from being a mother, my experience might have been very different. I think it's really important for women to feel they absolutely have the choice and that it's something that they should be able to discuss without stigma. I think this would be a fantastic book club book to serve as a catalyst for allowing women--and men too--to discuss all aspects of the decision to have children and the consequences of that decision. The different feelings about motherhood among the main characters gave further depth to the book, and the mysteries around the disappearance of several women were suspenseful and well handled. This book provided a nice combination of suspense and philosophical food for thought. Many thanks to Soho Press and NetGalley for an e-ARC of this intriguing book.

Mixed feelings about this book. Sort of liked it sort of didn’t (a little too colloquial I guess) liked the setting since I’m originally from that area, liked the premise behind the book, liked the way the character’s angst was portrayed however something was missing and the ending just seem to feel flat. I’d call it a good effort. 2.5 rounded up to 3

This one was an absolute banger, and I really appreciated the author's note. I loved The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano and had no idea it was driven by the author's own deep conflict about not wanting children, and how that tends to be viewed in society. Here, we've wrapped that around a thriller mechanic about a missing new mother (as well as a place where some other women have similarly disappeared). While I wanted children, I can also say that I have been "Lucy" at times, and I'm so glad this conversation is getting the much-needed air time it deserves. Full of complex female characters (regardless of their relationship to motherhood) and the ol' contemporary maneuver to "put a bird on it" (in this case, bird = thriller component), Her One Regret was a one-night read for me. It went down so smooth and I wanted more. Thank you, Donna, for fighting for all kinds of women!

This book was so thought provoking. It was amazing to safely feel the emotions of regret as a mother in a safe, fictional way, without fear of judgement. It did feel a little repetitive between 50-60% through, but overall, I would recommend it and give it 3 1/3 stars.

I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Motherhood is hard.

Lucy Mendoza disappears without a trace from a supermarket parking lot, leaving her infant daughter behind. Her best friend, Michelle, is convinced that Lucy would not have walked away from her baby and her life, though many think that Lucy left voluntarily to escape the demands of motherhood.

While this is a well written book, and I wanted to read it in its entirety to learn what became of Lucy, it was a struggle. I found most of the women characters self-serving and unlikeable, and the whole story was so depressing that I almost quit reading several times. I stuck it out to the end, though I would not choose to read other books by this author.

Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

This book is powerful. Sharp and emotionally layered. It is more than a thriller, it’s a mirror held up to the impossible standards placed on mothers.
The tension is steady, the characters feel real and raw, and the story taps into something many women carry but rarely voice.
Also, do not skip the author’s note. It’s one of the most honest, validating pieces of writing I’ve read in a long time.

I can’t help but wonder where Donna Freitas has been. I needed this. So many women need to read this. It addressed so many societal pressures, norms that shouldn’t be norms, the way women are and aren’t supposed to feel and what it says about us when we do. God forbid a woman not want to be a mother. Heaven forbid a woman realize she’s not built for motherhood because that switch that’s “supposed” to go off when she sees her baby for the first time never flips on.

Women love to vilify women but more than that MOTHER’S love to vilify other mothers. It makes them feel good. It makes them feel superior. It makes them feel better about themselves. As if that’s not horrifying enough. what’s left is women who need help and don’t get it, who want a way out and can’t find one, and who in some cases truly just aren’t built for it. We might have a lot more children alive if mothers were allowed to say “Look, this isn’t for me,” instead of making them out to be monsters.

In the authors note Donna says that she didn’t think this book would ever come to fruition because no one wants to read about HER. The woman who doesn’t want to be a mother. A man can not want kids but a woman? It’s supposed to be our one true goal in life.

Disclaimer: Because people suck I feel I need to say that I am a mother and it’s the biggest thing I ever wanted. But while I have never regretted being a mother, I can tell you that it is hard. Every day is hard. To me there are no easy days. Sometimes there’s a few months that are just HARD and you just have to keep pushing even when you have nothing left. You are constantly putting someone before yourself or in my case three someone’s. People always say there is help out there but in my opinion there isn’t enough help. I can’t tell you how many times I asked for help and no one listened.

For that reason I will never judge a woman who says it isn’t for her. That she doesn’t have it in her.