Gah! I just finished this after devouring it for two days, and I have SO MANY THOUGHTS swirling around in my brain!

The Dirt Beneath Our Door was wonderful. Gripping, intense, reflective, and powerful. It’s an ode to a woman’s strength and to her love for her children.

I liked that this book wasn’t as graphic as some memoirs. There was violence and abuse, but it didn’t feel like Pamela included it for the shock factor; every instance was followed my reflection and response.

The only negative for me was how chaotic it was. I could never keep track of where Rina was living and who all the people were.

"When the day ended, I would be one of two things: either dead, or free. Right now, either option sounded good." (loc. 65)

Jones wasn't supposed to be born into polygamy: Her father, seeing what it did to his own mother, swore that he didn't want that life. But then, well, things changed. And by the time Jones was born—her mother's second child, and her father's eleventh—I think it's fair to say that her father had gone all in on polygamy, decreeing that Jones would be named after a high school girlfriend and eventually taking up with eleven plural wives. And although Jones knew she didn't want to be a second or third (or tenth or eleventh) wife, she saw only the path that was laid in front of her: marry young into polygamy (in Mexico, where her family lived because there was less government scrutiny), have children, have more children, welcome new wives into the relationship.

"Sometimes I was asked to babysit church members' kids, only to arrive and find the husband home alone, "just waiting" for his wife and kids to return. Then the flirting started. Even stranger, when the wife and kids arrived home, they joined the campaign to add me to their family as the next plural wife." (loc. 1193)

It sounds like a terribly hard upbringing. Jones didn't know anything different, of course, but she was never able to have what most people would consider a normal childhood—too much cooking and cleaning and childcare; not enough school or friendship or innocence. Dozens of siblings but very little one-on-one time with her father (and too much fear when she did have time with him). And terribly warped expectations for marriage:

"'What more do you need?' He pulled away as his voice rose in irritation. 'You can cook, sew, clean, and take care of children. What else is there, Rina?'" (loc. 1447)

Jones paints a devastating picture of life in a cult. I'm surprised by how little strife she discusses between her father's wives, though honestly it sounds like she (and her mother) had limited contact with a lot of them. Or maybe they were all just too focused on survival for infighting—fear of their own husband, fear of Ervil LeBaron, just simple struggle to get enough food on the table to feed a household with no financial (or other) freedom and almost no financial (...or other...) support.

Most of the book takes place during Jones's upbringing and first marriage. There are some true jaw-droppers in here—I think they're worth reading in the full context and don't want to include spoilers, but I'll just say that her first husband's approach to marriage was...something else. Jones is able to find some compassion for him (he, too, grew up in the cult, and his actions very much reflect that distortion), but it's incredibly telling of how hard their community's demands were on girls and women.

Jones doesn't talk as much about her time after the cult, or about how her relationship with her parents changed as she got older. Her father ultimately helped her out with some things that surprised me, given the context of his chosen religion, and I'd have liked to know more about how that came about and how their relationship evolved as Jones struggled through her first years of freedom. I'd also have liked more about Jones and her kids figuring things out once they were outside the cult, though I'm not sure how much of that story she could reasonably tell while allowing for whatever levels of privacy her kids prefer. (I'd someday love to read a memoir from one of those kids, though, because I expect that their experience of leaving was in some ways even more jarring than Jones's.)

All told, a gripping read. Very much one for those with a preexisting curiosity about culty books, but also a reminder of just how much control a certain subset of people want to exert over others.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

5/5⭐️

What a story, my mind is blown and I literally cannot stop thinking about this book. Born into polygamous, poor and abusive cult, the story follows “Rinas” life and how eventually she is able to escape. “The cult had been founded on patriarchy and misogyny,
and once I came of age, I'd
become another commodity to
be bought, traded, or sold in order to satisfy male desires.”

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This memoir was both inspirational and informative! It is a nonfiction book that explains how a mother and her children ended up escaping a polygamous Mormon cult. This story captures a woman of resilience, willing to take chances, strength and determination! Pamela Jones is this woman’s name! In this memoir, she discusses what it was like to grow up in fear and poverty at a very young age. She had gotten married at only fifteen years old and could not connect with anyone outside of their cult, this includes her own blood relatives. This was at her husband’s commands.

I cannot imagine how this woman felt, after everything she was going through, while being a part of this cult. She felt like her life was in danger and needed to escape. Not just for her, but for her children as well. She ends up escaping and taking her children with her, having limited education and resources to help her. As this story unravels, she does anything and everything to educate herself and make sure her children are safe and taken care of. She is now an entrepreneur, author and a free woman! Be sure to read the content warnings. Overall, I give this book a 5 out of 5 stars!

Thank you to NetGalley, author Pamela Jones and BenBella Books | Matt Holt Books for this electronic arc of this book in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

This memoir is expected to be published on September 9, 2025!

phenomenal memoir. the writing is impressive, the story is harrowing, and it was an interesting read. 5 stars. tysm for the arc.

Pamela Jones takes the reader into her life as a child growing up in a fundamentalist Mormon cult, her marriage at 15, and her courageous decision to leave with her 9 children. Polygamy, poverty, and violence are interwoven into the community, yet she finds the positive parts as well: deep love for her family and fulfillment in raising her children. As harrowing as some parts of her story are, she asks for no pity and always moves forward with optimism.
The structure of the book is straightforward, moving chronologically from her birth and early childhood in the 1960s through 2024, and she shares some history of how this group came to be through splits from the main Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and later from other fundamentalist groups. I appreciate her openness and desire to help other women through educating the general public about this oppressive culture of patriarchy..
4 stars
This book was provided to me by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.